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5 Reasons Vaguebooking Is Destroying Your Relationships

5 Reasons Vaguebooking Is Destroying Your Relationships

Vaguebooking has been responsible for a lot of discontent on social media. For those who may not know what vaguebooking is, it’s the act of posting a status update about a specific thing or person but providing absolutely no details as to who they are or what the thing might be. It drives people nuts and here are five reasons vaguebooking may be destroying your relationships with friends, family, and even your significant other.

1. People will probably guess your subject incorrectly

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vaguebooking

    The scenario:

    You vague-book post about someone not getting off your back about something. Insert a sad or angry face and post. You feel better having ranted.
    The danger: Nobody has any idea who you’re talking about so they start assuming. Some may assume you’re talking about work, some may assume you’re talking about a significant other, and others still may assume your parents or someone else entirely. This causes them to feel discontent toward this other person even when they did nothing wrong. This can lead to friends hating your significant other, people thinking your parents are worse people than they really are, or it could even start problems among your friends. This can lead to pressure on you to do something about a problem that doesn’t exist! Save yourself the effort and save them the frustration. Either keep it to yourself or add in the details so everyone has their anger pointed in the right direction.

    2. It will probably make your problems worse

    The scenario: It’s pretty much the same scenario. You complain about an unspecified something or someone. Add an angry face or a sad face and post.
    The danger: While a little anonymous trash talking on Facebook may make you feel good in the short term, it does little (read: nothing) to help you on the long term. Your problem still exists and since you’re doing literally nothing to fix it other than complaining about it on Facebook, your problem will continue to exist. What’s worse is when that unspecified something or someone finds out that your status is about them. Then you’ve not only not solved your problem, but now you have something or someone angry at you for talking smack on Facebook. Plus, those sorts of problems should be handled internally anyway. You don’t need to be airing your own (or anyone else’s) dirty laundry on Facebook. That shows people that you can’t be trusted and soon they’ll start walking away.

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    3. You will come off as an attention seeker

    vaguebooking
      The problem:

      It’s the same scenario. You’re angry about something but you don’t know what to do about it so you vague-book it.
      The danger: There will be some people that look at your post and think that you just want attention. There are some people who vague-book on purpose just to get likes or to have people ask them what’s wrong. They like the attention. It’s a behavior typically seen among kids, teens, and adolescents who haven’t yet learned the importance of proper communication. When you vague-book, people will start associating you with other people who participate in that kind of behavior even if you’re not that kind of person. In other words, people will start assuming you just want attention and that your attention seeking is juvenile. They lose respect for you and suddenly your circle of friends starts getting a little thin.

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      4. Some people just plain hate vaguebooking

      vaguebooking

        The problem:

        Okay so let’s assume that you’ve got friends who don’t think that you’re an attention seeker and that they’re smart enough to avoid the other two problems. Sometimes, people just hate vaguebooking.
        The danger: This is why Google+ is a thing now. People go on Facebook and see vague-book statuses one after another. It gets old and defeats the point of social media (which is to be social). They may unfriend you, unfollow you, and if enough of their friends do it, may even seek another social network to get away from it all. Unfortunately for them, vaguebooking is on every single social network to an extent so they’ll never truly escape it. However, that won’t stop them for hating you for polluting their News Feed with what they consider to be senseless babble.

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        5. People may not take your real problems seriously anymore

        The problem: You have complained about vague nothings for so long that when you have a real problem, your friends have grown numb to you complaining about it and simply don’t care anymore.
        The danger: The problem and the danger is pretty much the same. If you vague-book about little nothings that don’t matter, then your friends will stop paying attention. Then when something truly serious comes along, they’ll look at your post about it as just another in a long line of complaining. By vaguebooking, you essentially destroy your own support system among your friends so when you need that safety net, you’ll find that it’s broken and you have nothing to catch you when you fall.

         

        I’ve personally never seen one instance of vaguebooking being a good thing. There may be a good use for it but if there is, I’ve looked high and low and have not found it. You can save yourself a lot of trouble, stress, and possibly even a friendship or two by not participating in vaguebooking. It simply isn’t worth the trouble.

        Featured photo credit: Bacon S’mores via baconsmores.com

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        Joseph Hindy

        A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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        Last Updated on February 11, 2021

        Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

        Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

        How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

        Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

        The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

        Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

        Perceptual Barrier

        The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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        The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

        The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

        Attitudinal Barrier

        Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

        The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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        The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

        Language Barrier

        This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

        The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

        The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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        Emotional Barrier

        Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

        The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

        The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

        Cultural Barrier

        Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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        The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

        The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

        Gender Barrier

        Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

        The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

        The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

        And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

        Reference

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