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5 Reasons Vaguebooking Is Destroying Your Relationships

5 Reasons Vaguebooking Is Destroying Your Relationships

Vaguebooking has been responsible for a lot of discontent on social media. For those who may not know what vaguebooking is, it’s the act of posting a status update about a specific thing or person but providing absolutely no details as to who they are or what the thing might be. It drives people nuts and here are five reasons vaguebooking may be destroying your relationships with friends, family, and even your significant other.

1. People will probably guess your subject incorrectly

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vaguebooking

    The scenario:

    You vague-book post about someone not getting off your back about something. Insert a sad or angry face and post. You feel better having ranted.
    The danger: Nobody has any idea who you’re talking about so they start assuming. Some may assume you’re talking about work, some may assume you’re talking about a significant other, and others still may assume your parents or someone else entirely. This causes them to feel discontent toward this other person even when they did nothing wrong. This can lead to friends hating your significant other, people thinking your parents are worse people than they really are, or it could even start problems among your friends. This can lead to pressure on you to do something about a problem that doesn’t exist! Save yourself the effort and save them the frustration. Either keep it to yourself or add in the details so everyone has their anger pointed in the right direction.

    2. It will probably make your problems worse

    The scenario: It’s pretty much the same scenario. You complain about an unspecified something or someone. Add an angry face or a sad face and post.
    The danger: While a little anonymous trash talking on Facebook may make you feel good in the short term, it does little (read: nothing) to help you on the long term. Your problem still exists and since you’re doing literally nothing to fix it other than complaining about it on Facebook, your problem will continue to exist. What’s worse is when that unspecified something or someone finds out that your status is about them. Then you’ve not only not solved your problem, but now you have something or someone angry at you for talking smack on Facebook. Plus, those sorts of problems should be handled internally anyway. You don’t need to be airing your own (or anyone else’s) dirty laundry on Facebook. That shows people that you can’t be trusted and soon they’ll start walking away.

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    3. You will come off as an attention seeker

    vaguebooking
      The problem:

      It’s the same scenario. You’re angry about something but you don’t know what to do about it so you vague-book it.
      The danger: There will be some people that look at your post and think that you just want attention. There are some people who vague-book on purpose just to get likes or to have people ask them what’s wrong. They like the attention. It’s a behavior typically seen among kids, teens, and adolescents who haven’t yet learned the importance of proper communication. When you vague-book, people will start associating you with other people who participate in that kind of behavior even if you’re not that kind of person. In other words, people will start assuming you just want attention and that your attention seeking is juvenile. They lose respect for you and suddenly your circle of friends starts getting a little thin.

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      4. Some people just plain hate vaguebooking

      vaguebooking

        The problem:

        Okay so let’s assume that you’ve got friends who don’t think that you’re an attention seeker and that they’re smart enough to avoid the other two problems. Sometimes, people just hate vaguebooking.
        The danger: This is why Google+ is a thing now. People go on Facebook and see vague-book statuses one after another. It gets old and defeats the point of social media (which is to be social). They may unfriend you, unfollow you, and if enough of their friends do it, may even seek another social network to get away from it all. Unfortunately for them, vaguebooking is on every single social network to an extent so they’ll never truly escape it. However, that won’t stop them for hating you for polluting their News Feed with what they consider to be senseless babble.

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        5. People may not take your real problems seriously anymore

        The problem: You have complained about vague nothings for so long that when you have a real problem, your friends have grown numb to you complaining about it and simply don’t care anymore.
        The danger: The problem and the danger is pretty much the same. If you vague-book about little nothings that don’t matter, then your friends will stop paying attention. Then when something truly serious comes along, they’ll look at your post about it as just another in a long line of complaining. By vaguebooking, you essentially destroy your own support system among your friends so when you need that safety net, you’ll find that it’s broken and you have nothing to catch you when you fall.

         

        I’ve personally never seen one instance of vaguebooking being a good thing. There may be a good use for it but if there is, I’ve looked high and low and have not found it. You can save yourself a lot of trouble, stress, and possibly even a friendship or two by not participating in vaguebooking. It simply isn’t worth the trouble.

        Featured photo credit: Bacon S’mores via baconsmores.com

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        The Gentle Art of Saying No

        The Gentle Art of Saying No

        No!

        It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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        But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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        What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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        But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

        1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
        2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
        3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
        4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
        5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
        6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
        7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
        8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
        9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
        10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

        Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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