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4 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Honest

4 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Honest

It has been said that honesty is the best policy, but why is that? Since we’re constantly bombarded by lies and misdirection from people we’re supposed to look up to, why is it important for us to avoid lying in turn? Let’s take a look at a few reasons why being honest is preferable to lying, any day of the week.

It’s Easier Than Lying.

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.” — Sir Walter Scott

Have you ever told a lie and then forgotten the details about it? Sure, you may have been able to ad lib and thus save your butt for the time being, but lies tend to spiral outwards and have to be maintained with an even larger web of lies. These are incredibly tiring to maintain, and unless you want to carry a notebook with you in which you’ve written down the different fibs associated with the original lie, you’ll have a hard time keeping track of it all.

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If you stick with the truth, it doesn’t matter how often you’re asked about the subject—you’ll always respond the same way, because you’re being honest about what really happened.

You Will Be Found Out.

Regardless of how airtight you think your lie is, someone will find out about it eventually.

If your kid’s hamster dies and you say that it ran away, and ten years later they accidentally dig up the rodent’s skeleton in the backyard, they’ll realize that you lied to their face and they’ll be really upset. If you call in sick to work so you can go to a convention or somesuch, your boss will inevitably see pictures of you floating around in full Klingon regalia, and then you’ll have to face the consequences of your actions.

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Trust in the fact that the truth always finds a way to rise to the surface, so just own up.

The Worst Truth is Better Than the Best Lie.

No matter how badly you think someone will react when you tell them something, you can rest assured that they will be a thousand times more upset if (or rather, when) they find out that you’d lied to them. Not only that, but sometimes the lie can cause much more dismay than honesty, like telling kids that their grandmother “went to sleep” instead of letting them know that she had died. If they’re young, they’ll end up terrified of going to bed for fear that they’ll never wake up again, and if they’re older, they’ll be furious with you for being patronising towards them.

Some couples stay together for years after they no longer have feelings for one another because neither party had the guts to be honest about the situation, when they could have spent decades being happier either alone or with someone new instead. One man I know discovered, upon his father’s death at age 90, that the poor man had spent his entire life in a loveless marriage because he never had the courage to tell his wife that he was gay. Had he been honest to both himself and to his wife, she could have been with someone who actually loved and cared for her, and he could have lived his life in a way that made him happy as well.

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Once Trust is Broken, It Can Never Be Fully Regained.

Although the words “I’m sorry” can ameliorate certain ugly situations, they can’t heal rifts or set things back to how they were before everything went to hell. If someone finds out that you’ve lied to them, they will never be able to fully trust you again. Ever. Even if you spend the rest of your life being a complete paragon of honesty and integrity, the person you lied to will always wonder if you’re being dishonest on some level. You can be sincere to your very marrow, but they won’t ever have true faith in you again.

Can you live with that?

There’s no such thing as a little white lie, and the fib that you tell another will inevitably come back around to bite you in the ass.

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“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” Hamlet Act 1, scene 3 — William Shakespeare

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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