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I’m Not Afraid To Be Myself Because An Original Is Worth More Than A Copy

I’m Not Afraid To Be Myself Because An Original Is Worth More Than A Copy

If you’re like most of us, you’re going through life trying to figure out the best way to fit in. Because unfortunately we’ve been conditioned to measure our worth against that of our neighbor, we get caught up in the rat race of keeping up with everybody else, of doing what everybody else is doing. Graduate high school, go to university, get married, get a good job, have kids, and retire someplace sunny. If everyone is doing it, you tell yourself, it must be the right thing to do.

Sound familiar? Don’t make this mistake. You’re worth more than that. You are like art in that “an original is worth more than a copy.” It’s time to be true to yourself and the find the happiness that you deserve.

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“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” – John F. Kennedy

To a certain degree, conforming to social expectations is something humans have traditionally done out of need for survival. In fact, conformity is so ingrained in our being that social rejection actually elicits a feeling of danger in our brain. The opposite happens when we follow the crowd.[1]

It can be difficult to fight this feeling. But think of this important life lesson: “Don’t follow the crowd, follow your own way. Do what you love.”[2] How will you ever grow as an individual if you are so concerned with being like everybody else? Try to work up the courage and the motivation to be unique. Being an individual in a world full of copies is one of the best ways to find success in doing what you love.

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“In the end… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have,and the decisions we waited too long to make.” – Lewis Carroll

Remember how much fun you had that one winter semester you took off from school to work at a ski resort? Or how amazing the view was from atop the mountain you climbed with friends you met at your hostel? No? That’s because you were too busy being like everybody else to do something you love.

Here is the brutal truth: “You will badly regret the things you didn’t do far more than the things you did that were wrong.”[3] The important life lesson here is that even if you make a mistake in life, you still learn something new. That’s far more valuable that not taking risks, not making mistakes, and not learning anything new. This life lesson should be all the motivation you need.

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“A self that goes on changing is a self that goes on living.” – Virginia Woolf

Too often we think that happiness lies in finding ourselves. Somewhere along the way, we’ve learned that our true self is somewhere, hidden away, and it is our life’s purpose to find it. How many times have you heard somebody commenting that they had to get away to find themselves?

Focusing on finding yourself is not the path to happiness. The reason behind this lies in a life lesson taken from Buddhism: “The self is always changing.”[4] If you accept this idea, you realize that it becomes impossible to find your true self. Instead, you have the power to change yourself at any given moment in life. Now, you can focus on being the person you want to be and on finding happiness.

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Take an honest look at your life. Are you being true to yourself or to the expectations of everyone around you? Remember, your value lies in being original. You owe it to yourself to be true to your dreams, to pursue your happiness, and to live life without regrets.

Featured photo credit: Negative Space via pexels.com

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Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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