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25 Things To Do To Become A Well Liked Person

25 Things To Do To Become A Well Liked Person

Human nature means we long to be accepted and liked by everyone we meet. We always look for reasons why someone likes us or doesn’t like us.

In recent years, maybe you’ve started to lose and forget some of the key reasons why someone might like you. Now, you shouldn’t think of life as a popularity contest. Instead, you should think of it as the reason why you’ll find your next job, close on that big deal or find the love of your life.

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    Here are 25 things to do to become a well liked person:

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    1. Be generous with the words ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ – We may forget or simply don’t feel the need to use these words; however, they can be the catalyst that changes the interaction instantly.
    2. Hold doors open for everyone and anyone if the situation permits.
    3. Be plentiful with favors; however, never expect anything in return for helping out.
    4. Help, guide and advise whenever you can. You may be an expert in an area that few others are; therefore, your input will always be highly valued.
    5. Don’t be an “I know” or a “me too” person. Ask for advice and ask questions that will directly represent your similarities rather than saying “me too.”
    6. Instead of just saying, “me too,” you should use the opportunity to link interests. This will create a new level of rapport that saying “me too” just won’t.
    7. Listen, and listen carefully to what people have to say. If you do this correctly, you can ask meaningful questions that show you’re ‘in the moment’ with that other person.
    8. Be gracious with your compliments and praise. Just as humans seek to be liked, we also seek to have relevance and be acknowledged for our efforts.
    9. Try to temporarily adopt another person’s values and beliefs instead of standing your ground and arguing why you think what they believe in is wrong.
    10. Enthusiasm goes an incredibly long way, from speaking to handshakes. If done enthusiastically, then the other person has a reason to carry on interacting with you.
    11. Be warm and smile lots. It’s welcoming, attractive and also a key interaction starter.
    12. Be confident (not cocky) with yourself, what you’re saying, what you’re wearing and what you’re doing. People are attracted to “experts” who are generally confident in their abilities. Demonstrate this attitude and people will be willing to listen.
    13. Get involved in everything, especially if it’s well known that you dislike whatever it is you’re taking part in. People will always respect someone that goes out of their way to attempt to conquer a dislike or phobia.
    14. Be yourself with everyone. The last thing you need is to have a split personalities to deal with each group of friends and family members.
    15. Provoke the best in people even if they are hard to crack.
    16. Always be on time for everything. Making people wait tends to be seen as a sign of disrespect.
    17. Reply to messages and calls instantly (if possible). Again, it should be looked at in the same way as Tip 16.
    18. Have you learned to listen carefully yet? Because of this, you’ll remember birthdays and important dates, which can be brought up in conversation letting the person realize you do really listen.
    19. Focus on what’s going on in the lives of others and again remember important dates to bring back up in conversation.
    20. Give them your biggest asset–your time.
    21. Never look at your watch during conversation. It shows that you have somewhere more important to be. Again remain ‘in the moment.’
    22. Be positive and forget all things negative. Negativity is a huge drain on emotions and ultimately the interaction. No one wants that.
    23. Be vulnerable to an extent that it makes you easy to get along with, easy to offer advice to, and ultimately, easy to get along with.
    24. Be approachable. If you offer up a smile or show some form of vulnerability, people will be drawn to you.
    25. Most of all, remember peoples’ names. This is something which we are all bad at but with practice, this simple gesture can be a huge reason why people like you.

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    Last Updated on January 15, 2021

    7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

    7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

    The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

    Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

    Posture

    First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

    • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
    • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
    • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
    • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

    All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

    Facial Expressions

    Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

    • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
    • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
    • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

    If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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    1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

    A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

    The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

    This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

    2. Relax Your Face

    New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

    The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

    To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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    3. Improve Your Eye Contact

    Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

    The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

    To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

    3. Smile More

    There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

    Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

    4. Hand Gestures

    Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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    It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

    5. Enhance Your Handshake

    In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

    “Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

    It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

    6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

    As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

    Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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    Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

    Final Takeaways

    Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

    If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

    More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

    Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

    Reference

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