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20 Things Considerate People Don’t Do

20 Things Considerate People Don’t Do

Being considerate may seem like a very underrated virtue these days. We’re often rewarded for putting ourselves first, but being considerate can go a long way. Thanks to the “reciprocity effect,” people are more likely to reciprocate positive actions when you act positively towards them. Here’s a list of 20 things considerate people don’t actually do. Are you guilty of any of these?

1. They don’t think life is a zero sum game

Considerate people have a unique perspective, and they don’t see life as a win or lose game. They understand that life is abundant, so they spread joy and kindness as if it’s infinite. When the gym at LeBron James’s alumni high school needed an upgrade, he was kind enough to donate a million dollars to make it happen. Talk about abundance!

2. They don’t say the first thing that pops into their mind

Considerate people always think before they speak. They’re brutally honest, but share their opinion in such a tactful and thoughtful way that people don’t get offended by what they have to say.

3. They don’t ask uncomfortable questions

Considerate people hate to make others squirm. You won’t hear a considerate person asking super personal or awkward questions. They care about how others feel and make it a point to make them feel comfortable in all situations.

4. They don’t show up late

They understand that time is an important resource and that showing up late shows a lack of respect towards other people. Marilyn Monroe didn’t seem to care about being punctual, as she has been quoted saying, “I am invariably late for appointments – sometimes as much as two hours. I’ve tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing.” Don’t pull a Marilyn, show up on time.

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5. They don’t judge you

Considerate people know that judging others is a sure-fire way to stop them from confiding in you in the future, so they simply listen without passing judgement. They can appreciate the value of a secret and the willingness to lend an ear to someone in need.

6. They don’t give you unwarranted advice

Considerate people don’t mind giving advice, but they have a sixth sense as to when it is or isn’t warranted. They won’t talk out of turn or give out advice when someone is simply venting after a long day.

7. They don’t take acts of kindness for granted

Considerate people show their appreciation when someone acts kindly upon them, resulting in a positive feedback loop making both themselves and the other person feel good. Angelina Jolie knows the importance of showing appreciation for her fans. When a fan who had been standing in the cold for hours to catch a glimpse of the star had a panic attack, Angelina ran to her side to comfort her.

8. They don’t leave people out

Considerate people always introduce people who don’t know each other and make it a point to engage as many people as possible in a conversation. They’re hyper-aware of including everyone in any type of social interaction so no one is left out.

When a school for the deaf was disqualified from an online contest to win a Taylor Swift concert on campus because pranksters casted votes on their behalf, Taylor Swift personally donated $10,000 to the school and gave students free tickets to her concert.

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9. They don’t lose their temper easily

Considerate people may get upset, but rather than raising their voice or walking away, they know how to control their emotions so they can act rationally and objectively. Media mogul Oprah Winfrey is renowned for meditating regularly to calm both the mind and the nerves.

10. They don’t talk about themselves constantly

They understand that people love talking about themselves and they don’t let their ego get in the way of that. Instead they allow others to talk about themselves as they see fit.

11. They don’t make assumptions

Considerate people don’t assume they know your whole story, as many tend to do. Instead, they actively listen and engage, asking appropriate questions.

12. They don’t constantly put themselves first

They put others’ needs in front of their own and they’re happy to do it. Keanu Reeves famously gave away $80 million to the special effects crew of “The Matrix” as a “thank you” gesture for their hard work.

13. They don’t assume that you like what they like

They don’t think that everyone has the same tastes or preferences. They know that just because they like a certain type of movie or food, it doesn’t mean that you do as well. They’re more than open to the idea of others having different interests.

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14. They don’t forget important life events

They don’t forget birthdays, anniversaries or other important life events. They always show up for those big life moments. When “Breaking Bad” star Bryan Cranston heard a fan of his had brain cancer, he hopped on a 30 minute Skype call with the teenager and sent an ice cream truck to his house.

15. They don’t blow things out of proportion

Considerate people don’t sweat the small stuff. They don’t see problems as huge obstacles, rather they view them as challenges. They know that making small things into a big deal will only make you feel worse. When Kellie Pickler’s friend got cancer and had to go through chemotherapy she shaved her head to show her support, and when asked about it she said simply, “it’s just hair!”

16. They don’t think they know it all

Considerate people don’t pretend they know the secrets of the universe. Rather, they ask you how you feel and get your take first. When Carrie Underwood felt like she didn’t perform at her absolute best, she wasn’t shy about admitting it. Not only did she admit that she wasn’t at her best, but she also donated the proceeds from the concert to the local community!

17. They don’t harshly criticize

They will give you candid feedback, but will deliver it in a way that maintains a positive relationship and shows that they truly care.

18. They don’t equate kindness with weakness

While inconsiderate people may think that kindness is a sign of weakness, considerate people know that kindness brings joy to themselves and their community. After Kanye West and Jay-Z had an enjoyable stay at a New York City hotel, they proceeded to treat the hotel staff to the VIP treatment at their concert.

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19. They don’t interrupt you

Considerate people allow others to fully express themselves before jumping into conversations. They regularly think of others, especially when others are speaking for themselves.

20. They don’t mind giving people the benefit of the doubt

Considerate people know that life is short and that stuff happens. Rather than placing blame or jumping to conclusions, they give people the benefit of the doubt, which keeps their relationships positive and healthy.

Featured photo credit: Cristian Bernal via flic.kr

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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