Advertising
Advertising

20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware

20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware

Charm according to the dictionary is the quality of attracting or fascinating others. Charm is the ability to make other people like you and the mistaken belief that this comes natural can be cancerous. Whether you are being liked or not is under your control. Here are 20 signs that prove you are charming person even if you are not aware of it.

1. You are sincere

“The easiest way to gain someone’s trust is to deserve it. This should be pretty easy, assuming you’re just being you and being real. Minimal effort too.”
― Ashly Lorenzana

People like it when you are honest. No one likes a fake. When you are sincere people will be drawn to you because they know they can trust you.

2. You are confident when you speak

You are meticulous and disciplined when you speak to someone.

3. You are attentive

“Charm is getting people to say “yes” without ever having to ask them a question.”
― Connie Brockway, The Bridal Season

During conversations you are not a bully but you are also attentive to what the other person is saying.

Advertising

4. You are patient

“He’s an indulgent sort of man……

With a quick lip and a fierce tongue, the sort of tongue that draws you in with charm and words of praise, awkward silences and desperate worships.”
― Coco J. Ginger

You speak only when appropriate rather than try to prove you are the most intelligent person in the room.

5. You have a positive attitude

People can discern if you love to retreat and give in to criticism. However you are charming when you show you have a positive mental attitude.

6. You are inquisitive

“I think charm is the ability to be truly interested in other people”
― Richard Avedon

You show you are concerned about the other person by asking questions and displaying a sense of curiosity.

Advertising

7. You are a people person

You love to engage in real life conversations rather than hide behind gadgets.

8. You don’t pass judgement

You are not quick to judge people’s character or condemn them for their mistakes. No one likes to be around people who are rigid in their opinions.

9. You don’t try to seek unnecessary attention

Desperately seeking attention can piss people off. By being friendly and considerate you put people at ease when they are around you.

10. You have an open mind

In trying to increase your network you don’t shut off new ideas and stop looking for a new people to associate with. People like people who are willing to seek new grounds.

11. You don’t take life too seriously

You smile and can laugh over issues, mistakes or humorous comments. By doing this you allow people to lower their guards when they are around you.

12. You don’t procrastinate

You are not afraid to take action. People are turned off when you hesitate to make decisions or take actions.

Advertising

13. You praise others

“It is a great mistake for men to give up paying compliments, for when they give up saying what is charming, they give up thinking what is charming.”
― Oscar Wilde

They genuinely praise others and are not sycophants. If they see a good deed or trait in someone, they are willing to acknowledge it and commend such person.

14. You make a solid first impression

“Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

Within the first few seconds of meeting you people are able to judge or make a decision about you. By having a distinctive body language you show you are likable. Whether it is in your posture, handshake or smile you create a remarkable first impression.

15. You are always willing to perform an act of kindness

People let down their guard when you show kindness. The most charming people out there are people who are willing to offer a good deed without expecting anything in return.

16. You are composed even in difficult situations

You don’t over react to positive or negative situations but you keep your cool. Silence can be more effective than angry words.

Advertising

17. You remember people’s name

People love it when you remember their names. A name is an essential part of everyone’s identity. When you can remember their names during a conversation, you charm people.

18. You don’t brood over failures

“A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little “personal characteristics.” – Helen Rowland

Instead of brooding over failure you learn from it and use it in your personal growth. People love and admire people who grow from failure rather than reel in it.

19. You are highly considerate of the other person you are speaking to

When you speak to someone, you regard the person as the most important person in the world. You value their time and offer undivided attention.

20. They know when and who to open up to

You know you are not perfect. You are careful to avoid sharing your personal problems with everybody. Rather you have confidants you can open to and who honestly offers you his/her opinion to help you grow.

Featured photo credit: young stylish blonde hipster man in the park via shutterstock.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

Master These 15 Skills for Success to Get Ahead in Your Career 15 Signs Of Self-Absorbed People Follow This Simple Success Formula to Stop Feeling Stuck in Life 20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware 6 Reasons Why You Don’t Love The Person You Cheat On, Even If You Claim You Do

Trending in Communication

1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next