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20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware

20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware

Charm according to the dictionary is the quality of attracting or fascinating others. Charm is the ability to make other people like you and the mistaken belief that this comes natural can be cancerous. Whether you are being liked or not is under your control. Here are 20 signs that prove you are charming person even if you are not aware of it.

1. You are sincere

“The easiest way to gain someone’s trust is to deserve it. This should be pretty easy, assuming you’re just being you and being real. Minimal effort too.”
― Ashly Lorenzana

People like it when you are honest. No one likes a fake. When you are sincere people will be drawn to you because they know they can trust you.

2. You are confident when you speak

You are meticulous and disciplined when you speak to someone.

3. You are attentive

“Charm is getting people to say “yes” without ever having to ask them a question.”
― Connie Brockway, The Bridal Season

During conversations you are not a bully but you are also attentive to what the other person is saying.

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4. You are patient

“He’s an indulgent sort of man……

With a quick lip and a fierce tongue, the sort of tongue that draws you in with charm and words of praise, awkward silences and desperate worships.”
― Coco J. Ginger

You speak only when appropriate rather than try to prove you are the most intelligent person in the room.

5. You have a positive attitude

People can discern if you love to retreat and give in to criticism. However you are charming when you show you have a positive mental attitude.

6. You are inquisitive

“I think charm is the ability to be truly interested in other people”
― Richard Avedon

You show you are concerned about the other person by asking questions and displaying a sense of curiosity.

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7. You are a people person

You love to engage in real life conversations rather than hide behind gadgets.

8. You don’t pass judgement

You are not quick to judge people’s character or condemn them for their mistakes. No one likes to be around people who are rigid in their opinions.

9. You don’t try to seek unnecessary attention

Desperately seeking attention can piss people off. By being friendly and considerate you put people at ease when they are around you.

10. You have an open mind

In trying to increase your network you don’t shut off new ideas and stop looking for a new people to associate with. People like people who are willing to seek new grounds.

11. You don’t take life too seriously

You smile and can laugh over issues, mistakes or humorous comments. By doing this you allow people to lower their guards when they are around you.

12. You don’t procrastinate

You are not afraid to take action. People are turned off when you hesitate to make decisions or take actions.

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13. You praise others

“It is a great mistake for men to give up paying compliments, for when they give up saying what is charming, they give up thinking what is charming.”
― Oscar Wilde

They genuinely praise others and are not sycophants. If they see a good deed or trait in someone, they are willing to acknowledge it and commend such person.

14. You make a solid first impression

“Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

Within the first few seconds of meeting you people are able to judge or make a decision about you. By having a distinctive body language you show you are likable. Whether it is in your posture, handshake or smile you create a remarkable first impression.

15. You are always willing to perform an act of kindness

People let down their guard when you show kindness. The most charming people out there are people who are willing to offer a good deed without expecting anything in return.

16. You are composed even in difficult situations

You don’t over react to positive or negative situations but you keep your cool. Silence can be more effective than angry words.

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17. You remember people’s name

People love it when you remember their names. A name is an essential part of everyone’s identity. When you can remember their names during a conversation, you charm people.

18. You don’t brood over failures

“A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little “personal characteristics.” – Helen Rowland

Instead of brooding over failure you learn from it and use it in your personal growth. People love and admire people who grow from failure rather than reel in it.

19. You are highly considerate of the other person you are speaking to

When you speak to someone, you regard the person as the most important person in the world. You value their time and offer undivided attention.

20. They know when and who to open up to

You know you are not perfect. You are careful to avoid sharing your personal problems with everybody. Rather you have confidants you can open to and who honestly offers you his/her opinion to help you grow.

Featured photo credit: young stylish blonde hipster man in the park via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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