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20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware

20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware

Charm according to the dictionary is the quality of attracting or fascinating others. Charm is the ability to make other people like you and the mistaken belief that this comes natural can be cancerous. Whether you are being liked or not is under your control. Here are 20 signs that prove you are charming person even if you are not aware of it.

1. You are sincere

“The easiest way to gain someone’s trust is to deserve it. This should be pretty easy, assuming you’re just being you and being real. Minimal effort too.”
― Ashly Lorenzana

People like it when you are honest. No one likes a fake. When you are sincere people will be drawn to you because they know they can trust you.

2. You are confident when you speak

You are meticulous and disciplined when you speak to someone.

3. You are attentive

“Charm is getting people to say “yes” without ever having to ask them a question.”
― Connie Brockway, The Bridal Season

During conversations you are not a bully but you are also attentive to what the other person is saying.

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4. You are patient

“He’s an indulgent sort of man……

With a quick lip and a fierce tongue, the sort of tongue that draws you in with charm and words of praise, awkward silences and desperate worships.”
― Coco J. Ginger

You speak only when appropriate rather than try to prove you are the most intelligent person in the room.

5. You have a positive attitude

People can discern if you love to retreat and give in to criticism. However you are charming when you show you have a positive mental attitude.

6. You are inquisitive

“I think charm is the ability to be truly interested in other people”
― Richard Avedon

You show you are concerned about the other person by asking questions and displaying a sense of curiosity.

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7. You are a people person

You love to engage in real life conversations rather than hide behind gadgets.

8. You don’t pass judgement

You are not quick to judge people’s character or condemn them for their mistakes. No one likes to be around people who are rigid in their opinions.

9. You don’t try to seek unnecessary attention

Desperately seeking attention can piss people off. By being friendly and considerate you put people at ease when they are around you.

10. You have an open mind

In trying to increase your network you don’t shut off new ideas and stop looking for a new people to associate with. People like people who are willing to seek new grounds.

11. You don’t take life too seriously

You smile and can laugh over issues, mistakes or humorous comments. By doing this you allow people to lower their guards when they are around you.

12. You don’t procrastinate

You are not afraid to take action. People are turned off when you hesitate to make decisions or take actions.

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13. You praise others

“It is a great mistake for men to give up paying compliments, for when they give up saying what is charming, they give up thinking what is charming.”
― Oscar Wilde

They genuinely praise others and are not sycophants. If they see a good deed or trait in someone, they are willing to acknowledge it and commend such person.

14. You make a solid first impression

“Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

Within the first few seconds of meeting you people are able to judge or make a decision about you. By having a distinctive body language you show you are likable. Whether it is in your posture, handshake or smile you create a remarkable first impression.

15. You are always willing to perform an act of kindness

People let down their guard when you show kindness. The most charming people out there are people who are willing to offer a good deed without expecting anything in return.

16. You are composed even in difficult situations

You don’t over react to positive or negative situations but you keep your cool. Silence can be more effective than angry words.

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17. You remember people’s name

People love it when you remember their names. A name is an essential part of everyone’s identity. When you can remember their names during a conversation, you charm people.

18. You don’t brood over failures

“A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little “personal characteristics.” – Helen Rowland

Instead of brooding over failure you learn from it and use it in your personal growth. People love and admire people who grow from failure rather than reel in it.

19. You are highly considerate of the other person you are speaking to

When you speak to someone, you regard the person as the most important person in the world. You value their time and offer undivided attention.

20. They know when and who to open up to

You know you are not perfect. You are careful to avoid sharing your personal problems with everybody. Rather you have confidants you can open to and who honestly offers you his/her opinion to help you grow.

Featured photo credit: young stylish blonde hipster man in the park via shutterstock.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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