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17 Signs You Have The Coolest Mom In The World

17 Signs You Have The Coolest Mom In The World

I don’t know about you, but my mom is seriously one of the coolest people out there.

She’s always been there to make me laugh, wipe away my tears, and help me become the person I am today.

Is your mom super cool? Here are some signs that you are ridiculously lucky to have your mom around.

1. Your mom is one of your best friends.

She’s the first to know about everything new in your life, and you have regular hangouts. For example, my mom and I try to go out for sushi, and we even went on a double-feature mother-daughter date at the movies.

2. But your mom makes sure she puts her role as mother over her role as friend.

Even if you guys are BFFs, she is your mother before she’s your bud, and even if you don’t like it, she will make sure to put your best interests at heart. My mom makes it clear that she’s not only my friend and drinking buddy, but someone who will put me in my place when I need it.

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3. You can always count on your mom to be there to listen.

If you’re going through heartbreak or need advice, you call her up. She will listen, always, without judgment. (Thanks, Mom.)

4. Your mom is your biggest cheerleader.

My mom is always the one to encourage me and lift me up, no matter what.

Got a dream? You can bet your mom is there to support it, and she will constantly remind you that you need to chase it, even when you’re not so sure of it yourself.

5. You and your mom have the best inside jokes ever.

You’re constantly giggling to each other. In fact, it’s quite a trip watching you two interact on a day-to-day basis. My mom and I are constantly cracking each other up (we’re so dang hilarious).

6. You and your mom always stick together at family gatherings.

Who else is gonna keep you entertained while your great aunt Ethel talks about her cats? I always stick to my mom like glue at family gatherings so we can giggle at the weirdness of it all.

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7. Your mom always puts family first.

Even if she’s got an awesome career and social life, family always, always comes first. She was never late to pick you up from school because of a meeting, and she never forgot your birthday, because you were — and still are — the priority in her life.

8. Your mom always calls and asks how your life is — and she genuinely cares.

She needs to know how you’re doing on a regular basis, and if you say anything other than “I’m doing great,” she will try her hardest to rectify the situation.

9. Your mom always keeps a watchful eye. . . but she doesn’t hover.

You never feel smothered by her, but you know she’s always got one eye on you to make sure you’re on the right path. She tries to stay relatable and remember what it was like being your age.

10. Your mom lets you make mistakes, but she’s always there to help you get back on your feet.

My mom lets me go through heartbreak or fall on my face sometimes — and I know how hard it is for her to watch. But she knows that I need to make my own mistakes, and she’s always there to help me back up.

A cool mom knows that she can’t live your life for you, and she knows you’re going to date someone you shouldn’t, or hit a rough patch every now and then. But when you inevitably do, she is there to wipe away your tears.

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11. Your mom knows that she’s just an older, wiser kid at heart.

I still remember what my mom said to me before I left for college: “Here’s the most important piece of advice I can give you: if you get the spins after drinking too much, just bite your tongue and it will distract you.”

Cool moms don’t pretend like they’ve been chaste and perfect their whole life. A cool mom doesn’t play the “holier-than-thou” card, because she is human too, and she’s made the same mistakes you have. She knows that you’ll make them too, and she uses her wisdom to help you whenever you need it.

12. Everyone loves your mom.

Your friends totally want to hang out with your mom, and have suggested she come along on more than one occasion. My friends are currently begging me to invite my mom to my New Year’s party this year. I’m not kidding.

13. Because your mom is hilarious.

She totally knows what’s going on, and she’s struck the perfect balance of being “in” and still being a wise, strong woman. The result is a fabulous sense of humor.

14. Even when you’re mad at her, you still know how much you care about her.

If your mom is like mine, she drives you crazy sometimes, because she always has your best interests at heart, and that means you butt heads every now and then. But even when you do, you can’t possibly love her any less.

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15. Your answer to “Who’s your biggest hero?” is always “my mom.”

Stand aside, Wonder Woman. Mom rocks way more than you do.

I believe I’ve written quite a few essays over the years illustrating this very point.

16. You can’t imagine who you would be without your mom…

Your mom built such a strong foundation for you. It’s difficult to separate who you are as a person from who she helped you become as a person.

I try to picture my life without my mom, and I truly can’t.

17. …because your mom is one of the most important people in your world.

Because what you do without her?

Love you, Mom.

Featured photo credit: LuLu Taylor via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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