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Last Updated on January 5, 2021

17 Things People With Emotional Strength Don’t Do

17 Things People With Emotional Strength Don’t Do

Life is a series of stories, and each one of us has a unique story to tell. There are billions upon billions of stories, and no two are exactly the same. If the story of your life has been filled with more sad moments than happy ones, it’s time to change that, and the best place to start is by building emotional strength

You have the power to create the life you want. One crucial skill that will help you get there is learning how to become emotionally strong. The good news is emotional strength is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.

“Once you believe you are strong emotionally, you will unconsciously act stronger than before and begin to take control over your emotional whims.” –Senora Roy

In this article, you’ll learn how to be strong emotionally. Here’re 17 things people with emotional strength don’t do. Learn from these and start creating the existence you’ve always imagined for yourself.

1. They Don’t Beg for Attention

Emotional strength means confidence, and confident people don’t need to constantly be the center of attention. They’re comfortable in their own skin and are able to share the spotlight when necessary. Because they feel good about themselves, they don’t need the approval of others.

2. They Don’t Allow Others to Bring Them Down

People with emotional strength ignore the haters and the naysayers. They weed these people out and surround themselves with positive people instead.

This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel negative emotions when someone says something hurtful. They are simply able to hold those negative thoughts with love and acceptance, work through the pain, and move on.

3. They Don’t Stop Believing in Themselves

“Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C’s: They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.” –Walt Disney

Soak up these amazing words from Walt Disney because belief is the most essential quality of emotional strength. When you work from a place of self-confidence, each failure becomes a lesson that continues to propel you toward a better future.

4. They Are Not Afraid to Love

“Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World.” –Paulo Coelho

People who possess emotional strength have experienced heartbreak, but it doesn’t hold them back; it makes them stronger. Just because you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean you should shut love out of your life.

Open up your heart and embrace vulnerability. The love you find will be worth everything you go through to get it.

5. They’re Not Afraid of Slowing Down

Sometimes you need to take a step back and slow it down when you’ve been pushing yourself too hard in order to manage stress. Having drive is great, but not at the expense of your health and well-being

When people with emotional strength are feeling overwhelmed, they allow time for reflection and relaxation in order to maintain a sense of focus and positivity and improve their mental health.

6. They Refuse to Be a Victim of Circumstance

Being emotionally strong means refusing to make excuses. Everyone is born into different circumstances and receive a different starting line in life. People with emotional strength don’t feel bad about where they’ve started; they look forward and try to find the best way to get where they want to go.

Leave the past behind you and focus on getting a little better every day.

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7. They Don’t Have a Problem Saying No

Saying no is one of the most important things you’ll ever learn how to do[1]. When you learn how to say no, you’ll make time for the things that really matter to you. Focus on your top priorities and say no to all the stuff that’s wasting your time.

8. They Don’t Back Down From Challenges

Emotionally strong people see challenges as opportunities to grow and improve their life. Challenges happen for a reason, and only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there.

9. They Don’t Do Things They Don’t Want to Do

If you want to keep your emotional balance and sanity intact, do what you love. Get rid of baggage and commitments that are making you miserable.

People with emotional strength know that spending their very limited time doing things that make them miserable is the best way to waste their life.

10. They Don’t Forget That Happiness Is a Decision

People who have learned how to be strong emotionally know that happiness is a choice. They understand the things they need to really be happy. They choose a life of simplicity, productivity, and passion.

Furthermore, they practice gratitude in their everyday life in order to focus on each of the good things they have in the present moment. This helps them build mental strength for when they need to face difficult times.

11. They Don’t Waste Time

Abraham Lincoln said,

“It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

Mentally strong people don’t waste time doing mindless activities. They live mindfully in the present, enjoying every day as if it’s their last. They spend their time on things that are important to them and things that will help them achieve their goals in the long run.

12. They Aren’t Afraid to Ask for Help

Every single one of the great minds in history, from Einstein to Edison, had help along the way. You can’t do it all alone, and it takes a person with emotional strength to swallow their pride and ask for help.

Here’s How to Ask for Help When You Feel Silly to Do So.

13. They Don’t Hold Themselves Back

Self-handicapping is a common trait among emotionally weak people. What this means is you make excuses and find ways to justify your inadequacies instead of finding ways to improve on them. If you want to change something, stop holding yourself back.

14. They Don’t Mind Working Harder Than Others

“The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.” –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Soak in these poetic words from Longfellow. Put in the work, and you’ll get the results you’re looking for.

15. They Don’t Overreact to Things Beyond Their Control

Charles Swindoll said,

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”

Think about how many times a day you overreact to things that really don’t matter. When you start to feel your blood boil, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Is this really worth getting stressed out over?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, you’ll realize the answer is no.

People with emotional strength have developed a sense of mental balance that help them respond appropriately to each obstacle in their path.

16. They Don’t Settle for a Mediocre Life

Emotionally strong people don’t settle for mediocrity, even when times get tough. They strive to achieve greatness by setting goals, making plans, solving problems, and digging deep to find motivation each day.

17. They Never Give up

Being emotionally strong means staring adversity in the face, learning from your mistakes, and living to fight another day. I’ll leave you with this inspiring quote from Harriet Beecher Stowe:

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”

The Bottom Line

No one is born with emotional strength. It comes from years of struggle and working through difficult moments and emotions. People who have learned how to be strong emotionally didn’t get there because life was easy.

Learn from the points above in order to further develop your own emotional strength and fight for the life that you deserve.

More on Building Emotional Strength

Featured photo credit: Conner Ching via unsplash.com

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Reference

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Scott Christ

Scott Christ is a writer, entrepreneur, and founder of Pure Food Company.

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Last Updated on March 2, 2021

10 Negative Thoughts We All Have and What to Think Instead

10 Negative Thoughts We All Have and What to Think Instead

I’ll never forget the first time I heard that the way I was talking to myself, realizing how it directly influenced every aspect of my life. We can be our own worst enemy at times and our internal conversation and negative thoughts can be extremely limiting. Like most people, I was blind to this somewhat obvious piece of information.

Eventually, I realized that the negative thoughts I had weren’t facts at all, but instead self imposed limitations that I was putting on myself, which I also had the power to remove. Over the last decade, it has become very clear to me that most of us actually have very similar negative thoughts. Here are some of the most common negative thoughts we all have and what we should think instead.

1. I Am Not Good Enough

Have you ever thought that you weren’t good enough? When we feel that we aren’t good enough, we tend to drown in this emotion of self-doubt and pity. It can be a symptom of low self-esteem, but the truth is that every one is good enough.

You might not have the skills or tools to achieve what you want now, but you are certainly good enough and worthy of receiving what you want in life. If you have a $10 bill, and it falls on the ground into a puddle of mud, does that $10 lose its value? Of course not! So why do you feel that you lose value based on what you have done in life?

What to Think Instead

Instead of saying, “I am not good enough,” tell yourself that you are worthy of all you desire in this life, just like everyone else[1]. Focus on the things you like about yourself in this moment. You can even make a written list and post it nearby if it helps you to see it each day[2]

Practice Loving Yourself to Overcome Negative Thoughts

    2. I Can’t Do It

    “Can’t” is one of the most limiting words that you can tell yourself. Henry Ford once said,

    “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.”

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    If you tell yourself that you can’t, you are sending messages to your mind and brain that you can’t, and so that will be your experience. Your mind won’t try if you have already told it that something is impossible. 

    What to Think Instead

    Instead of focusing your negative thoughts on what you think you can’t do, tell yourself, “I can do whatever I put my mind to.” While we all do have limitations, believing in your abilities in the first step to achieving your short and long term goals in life. 

    And sometimes, you may just need a little motivation boost. Get the Instant Motivation Boost Worksheet, it’s a free worksheet that will guide you to do the little things for an instant boost of motivation. Grab the free worksheet here.

    3. I’m Not as Lucky as Other People

    This thought normally comes from holding an illusion that other people’s lives are better and they are luckier, and that is what separates you from them. “Perfect” doesn’t exist, and there is often a lot of effort that goes behind that perceived “luck.”

    It is very disempowering to think that life will never offer you good things; the truth is that if you tap into some gratitude, you’ll see that you already have good things all around you. 

    What to Think Instead

    Instead of focusing on all the luck others seem to have, tell yourself, “Good things can and will happen to me.” Use a sense of gratitude to begin to notice all of the good things you would normally never notice. For example, when was the last time you felt grateful for the roof over your head, the food in your fridge, or your comfy bed?

    4. I Don’t Think I’ll Ever…

    Whatever you believe will become your reality, this is true. You shape your future every day by the choices you make and your habits. You can sabotage your opportunities by limiting yourself with negative thoughts.

    What would it be like if you believed that you could do what you really desired and have the experiences you wished instead? It is not about getting it right the first time, but trying. Don’t stop yourself before you have even given yourself a chance.

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    What to Think Instead

    Don’t limit yourself with negative thought patterns that tell you you’ll never do something. Instead, tell yourself, “I am confident I will…” Even if you don’t feel confident in this moment, feeding your brain positive thoughts will slowly build confidence over time. 

    5. I Should Be Better Than I Am

    Using the word “should” in this context makes this a truly negative thought and makes one feel less than they are. How often do you find yourself saying “I should be more clever, more disciplined, more productive, etc. than I am”? Remember how you feel immediately afterwards?

    What to Think Instead

    Tell yourself, “I am making an effort to change what I don’t like.” Everyone has parts of themselves that they hope to improve, and this is certainly possible, but it requires approaching these things with a sense of self-love and patience. 

    Set yourself goals for the things you are not happy with instead of telling yourself what you “should” be like or be doing. Take action the things you wish to change and remove limiting modals from your vocabulary.

    Here are some ways you can start to improve yourself.

    6. I Am Not Strong Enough

    It’s normal to feel that you are not strong enough at times[3]. We are all human, and I don’t know anyone who doesn’t feel weak at times. What is important though, is the conversation you have with yourself afterwards. If you keep reinforcing the fact that you don’t feel strong with negative thoughts, how can you expect to feel?

    What to Think Instead

    Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, tell yourself that you are strong enough to deal with the challenges in front of you, and support yourself in finding the strength you need in that moment.

    7. Nobody Cares

    It might feel that you are alone at times and that nobody cares, but I am convinced that there are people thinking about you that you don’t even know of. People do care; not everyone expresses their emotions in the same way. It isn’t nice feeling that nobody cares, so stop focusing on that and assuming what other people feel when you don’t actually know. Change your focus to something that makes you feel better instead.

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    What to Think Instead

    Instead of assuming that no one cares about you, remind yourself that there are people in your life who do, in fact, care very much. Do your best to cultivate those relationships and accept the love others are willing to give in order to combat your negative thoughts. 

    8. I Am Not Smart Enough

    This is a very general statement, yet many people tend to say it often and then feel bad about themselves afterwards. What are you not smart at specifically? I bet that if I asked you to identify some areas that you are smart in, you could if you really tried.

    Not everybody is clever and perfect in every area, and this is what makes us all unique. If you feel that you are lacking in a certain area of knowledge, instead of producing negative thoughts, make time to study and learn whatever it is that you want so that you don’t feel this way any more.

    What to Think Instead

    Instead of believing that you’re not intelligent, remind yourself that you are smart in a unique way and that you are capable of improving your knowledge in any area you choose. Lifelong learning can be a goal you constantly work toward.

    9. If I Don’t Do Well, I’m a Failure

    Holding high expectations for yourself and having conditions attached to your self worth on your performance isn’t fair. You need to take chances in life if you want to get different results. Don’t be scared of failing; the real failure lies in never having tried.

    What to Think Instead

    When facing a challenging situation or possible risk, tell yourself, “I am going to try; I am not scared of failing; that is not what is important.” Even if you “fail,” you will learn something about the world and yourself, and as long as that’s the case, nothing is ever a true failure. 

    10. Bad Things Will Happen

    Thinking negatively in general is thinking that whatever happens, it is most likely going to be the worst case scenario. What would it be like if you imagined the best case scenario instead? Our positive and negative thoughts are very powerful, and it’s common to use visualization as a technique to imagine the best case scenario.

    Whether you imagine the worst or the best case scenario, you are influencing your results. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen and rather on what you want to happen.

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    What to Think Instead

    Instead of thinking that bad things will happen when you try something, try thinking that the best will happen. This way, you’ll aim high, and even if you fall a little short, you’ll still get farther than you were before. 

    Final Thoughts

    We all have negative thoughts from time to time. However, when the majority of your thoughts are negative, you are undermining your happiness at the end of the day. Our thoughts directly affect how we feel and, therefore, what we do in life.

    If you’re feeling sad and are overwhelmed with negative thoughts, you can consider contacting a mental health professional to give your mental health a boost and get you back on track toward positivity.

    Don’t limit yourself or what is possible for you. Master your thoughts and change your results. 

    More on How to Stop Negative Thoughts

     

    Featured photo credit: arash payam via unsplash.com

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