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15 Things Only Incredibly Observant People Would Understand

15 Things Only Incredibly Observant People Would Understand

I’ve been watching a lot of the new Netflix series “Marvel’s Daredevil” lately. If you know anything about the show (based on the comic book series by Stan Lee and Bill Everett) you know that Daredevil Matt Murdock (played by Charlie Cox) is a blind vigilante who prowls the streets of New York in a black mask to protect the city he loves. In one scene, Matt stands at the open window of an abandoned building, listening to and identifying every strain of sound on the street below from the precise pitch of whining fire engines and police vehicles to snatches of conversation. He can tell whether or not someone’s telling the truth by listening to their heart rate, and midway through the series *SPOILER ALERT!* he tells his best friend Foggy Nelson that he first felt motivated to take on his Daredevil persona after he heard a girl crying in an apartment building several blocks away.

While it’s highly unlikely that even the most observant person can use their senses the way Matt Murdock does, Matt Murdock is a perfect example of what goes on in the observant person’s brain. Very often we associate observation with vision—with using our eyes to take in the world around us—but being observant is much more than seeing. It involves turning on our brains at full power and soaking in the world with every molecule of our bodies. Observant people notice everything from the most insignificant speck of dust to the woman on the bus who smells like she showers in her favorite perfume. This level of sensory awareness can be at once a blessing and a curse because noticing everything means having to concentrate more diligently to filter out background noise or unimportant details to prioritize information. Here are fifteen things only incredibly observant people can understand and that everyone else can learn from if you pay attention!

1. They practice deductive reasoning

Let’s use another famous example: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s iconic consulting detective, the one and only Sherlock Holmes. Well-known for his powers of observation and deduction, Holmes famously tells his clients not to leave out a single detail when relating their problems to him, even the most seemingly insignificant trifle, for as he often says, there’s nothing so important as trifles. He can tell that Watson’s had a cold from the fact that he’s lost weight and his slippers are scorched from warming his feet before the fire, and in his very first case, A Study in Scarlet, he manages to catch a murderer by, among other things, identifying the tobacco ash left at the crime scene.

While observant people might not regularly use their skills to solve crimes, this just proves that attention to detail can make you more attuned to your surroundings. Observant people might be more likely to be considerate of others as a result. If they notice that a coworker comes into the office with mismatched shoes, for instance, they might deduce from this detail that the person left the house in a rush and maybe isn’t having the best morning, so it might not be the most convenient moment to bring up that looming project deadline.

2. They can tell when you’re lying

Observant people notice body language: posture, eye contact, facial expressions, and changes in breathing. It’s a common belief that when we lie, we don’t make eye contact with the person we’re lying to. You can’t hide anything from an observant person. Matt Murdock can tell when Foggy wants to say something but changes his mind just based on the change in his breathing. So if you have something to say to an observant person, just spit it out; they’ll drag it out of you eventually anyway and you’ll feel better for having gotten it off of your chest.

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3. They practice mindfulness

All of us are probably guilty of checking our phones or playing Candy Crush while we wait for the subway or stand in line at the supermarket because we can’t stand boredom, but for observant people this is just an opportunity to practice mindfulness. Whenever they’re still, they use that time wisely to hone their senses, soaking in their surroundings, taking in the intricate beading on the shoes of the woman standing in front of them or the way the man seated across from them at the bus stop keeps nervously combing his fingers through his hair. Sometimes they even like to make up stories; maybe the guy is meeting a secret lover, or maybe he’s nervous about a job interview. These games keep the mind active and help observant people to remain grounded in the moment.

4. They’re great listeners

If you’re having trouble deciding whether or not to take that new job that requires a cross-country move or if you’re having problems in a relationship, observant people are great to have around. We all know that conversations aren’t just about talking, listening, and responding. We need to engage the entire body and mind, not just the ears and mouth. Since observant people tend to be better at grounding themselves in the moment, they likely have excellent focus and are therefore more likely to be fully engaged in a conversation. They’ll nod, make eye contact, and ask questions when appropriate to indicate that they’re fully engaged. Such active dialogue lends itself well to problem-solving because you can talk through the situation and examine it from different angles.

5. They have better organizational skills

This characteristic can sometimes be mistaken for obsessive-compulsiveness, and it’s just a natural side-effect of being attuned to one’s surroundings. Maybe you remember that old episode of “Full House”, after DJ and Steph accidentally punch a hole in Danny’s bedroom wall and try to move all of the furniture in the room to cover it. When he notices something is off, his first words are “Who moved the baking-soda in my underwear drawer?”

Since observant people notice everything, when something is out of place, it throws the universe out of balance, but part of the reason why they can remain so focused and productive in their everyday lives is because they have everything they need at their fingertips. No searching for paper-clips or turning their desk drawers upside-down to find a pen.

6. They have a strong sense of orientation

Since observant people always take in their surroundings, they’re excellent at spotting landmarks or points of orientation, especially in large or crowded environments. Always have an observant person with you when you go to the mall during the Christmas rush because they’ll be the most likely to remember where you parked your car, and they won’t be foolish enough to use non-stationary landmarks like the pea-green minivan plastered with political bumper stickers that might not be there by the time you finish shopping.

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7. They’re incredibly analytical

The thing about being incredibly observant is that attention to detail goes hand in hand with analysis. Observant people, like Sherlock Holmes, notice everything because everything is important, at least to them.

Let’s say you’re chatting with your incredibly observant friend about your recent vacation and exclaim, “Me and my husband spent the weekend at this great hotel!” Don’t be surprised if the friend responds, “my husband and I, not me and my husband. You can’t use objective pronouns in the subject of a sentence.” This might seem picky (and, yeah, it is), but you’re going to want that person around when you need someone to proofread the report or legal document you’ve just written because you know they’ll catch every mistake you made, not to mention the ones you didn’t realize you made.

8. They’re fountains of factual information

If their tendency to correct grammar in casual conversations wasn’t enough of a hint, observant people can be know-it-alls sometimes. They’re so used to noticing everything and filing it away in their encyclopedic brains that they forget that not everyone does this. So if you express surprise when they tell you that a pumping human heart is powerful enough to squirt blood up to a distance of 30 feet and the observant person who edified you responds with “I thought everyone knew that,” don’t take it personally. Just placate them by reminding them that not everyone is as detail and fact-oriented as they are. They like knowing that there’s a niche in the universe for their talent even if they’re frustrated when nobody seems to possess their depth of knowledge. Next time you’re playing Trivia Crack, you’re going to want them around.

9. They have better survival skills

You’ve probably seen people talking on the phone, texting, applying makeup, or fiddling with their iPods while driving. You’ve probably done it yourself. According to an article in Psychology today over time, as we’ve evolved and begun to rely more on technology and less on our bodily instincts, we’ve become less observant. That “little voice” that’s telling you to pay attention or that something isn’t right is really your limbic system kicking into gear.

Not following this basic human instinct can lead to accidents and injuries. The AAA Foundation reports that approximately 80% of drivers feel unsafe on the roads because of distractions, and federal statistics indicate that distracted driving leads to 5000 deaths annually from car accidents. Observant people know that distractions interfere with focus and are therefore more likely to practice situational awareness, remaining alert in situations that can be potentially dangerous.

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10. They love to people-watch

Observant people probably get told off for staring or being nosy when they’re in public, but people-watching serves two purposes; it keeps their minds actively engaged with their surroundings, and it offers creative inspiration. Since observant people’s senses are always tingling, they often find creativity, like writing or painting, to be a useful outlet.

According to Scott Kaufman, a psychologist at NYU, “Marcel Proust spent almost his whole life people-watching, and he wrote down his observations, and it eventually came out in his books.” One of my creative writing professors in college used to tell her students to go to Starbucks with a notebook and eavesdrop on people’s conversations because there are stories all around us if we know where to find them, and observant people are great at sniffing out stories.

11. They’re great judges of character

Observant people are always attentive to social dynamics, and because they can read body language extremely well, they can determine pretty easily how people treat one another. They can tell when couples are truly in love by the tone in which they talk to each other or how closely they sit to each other. They can deduce how close a pair of friends are by the tone of the Facebook posts and Twitter conversations between them.

A friend of mine once expressed concern about a mutual friend’s significant other by saying, “He didn’t say a word to anyone the entire time we were at dinner, and he never looked at you when you spoke to him. He’s bad news.” When they broke up, everyone said the person had a sixth sense. Not really. She was just paying attention. Try it some time.

12. They have more keenly-developed comprehension and critical thinking skills

Observant people were probably the ones who breezed through tests in school, were the fastest readers, and responded the most quickly to answers in class. This isn’t necessarily natural ability, but the result of developing their observational skills. One of the biggest benefits to being so observant is that, according to Social-Psychiatry.com, all of that brain exercise strengthens the neural pathways in the brain, resulting in better reading comprehension and reading speed.

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This increases the ability to absorb and retain information, which is why observant people tend to have eidetic memories. When I was studying for my comprehensive exam as a Master’s student, I developed a reputation in my study group for being the quotation queen. Instead of looking up the page number of a book quotation, someone would read it to me from their notes, and I’d tell them what page it was on. It saved a lot of time.

13. They’re perfectionists

Sometimes the downside to being so detail-oriented is that letting things slide can be challenging. Observant people have to cross every t, dot every i, and proofread their emails five times, manually as well as with spell-checker. They have to practice their presentations fifteen times before they feel comfortable, but they’ll be the most productive people you can work with because they believe that there’s no point doing a job unless you’re going to do it right. This characteristic makes them great team leaders, trainers, and teachers because they can micro-manage and oversee what everyone is doing.

14. They appreciate the importance of repetition

Observant people can watch their favorite movies and read their favorite books over and over again and never get bored because they’ll always discover something new. Even if it’s as simple as noticing what color socks a character is wearing, that discovery adds a whole new dimension to the experience. Moreover, while observant people tend to absorb information more quickly, they’re also aware that something might slip under their radar undetected. This is why it’s always a good practice to read novels multiple times before writing a research paper about them and why rereading study or presentation notes multiple times is a smart habit to practice because the more you look at something the more deeply it becomes etched into your mind’s eye.

15. They have healthier relationships

This goes back to the importance of reading body language and relationship dynamics. Observant people can be more attuned to the rhythms of other people’s lives and bodies as well as their own and can thus pick up on mood changes and habits. They’ll be more likely to ask what’s bothering their partner if they notice a frowning expression or if a usually chatty friend has become uncharacteristically quiet or withdrawn. They’ll know that if you’re not a morning person that there’s no point trying to get a word out of you before you’ve had caffeine, and they’ll remember that the only thing that cheers you up when you’re feeling down is your favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry’s. There’s no magic to this. They just care about you enough to take the time to observe how they can cultivate the relationship.

Featured photo credit: Girl Observing with Binoculars via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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