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15 Things To Forget If You’re Not Satisfied With Your Life

15 Things To Forget If You’re Not Satisfied With Your Life

Why are you dissatisfied with your life? There may be many reasons. Perhaps you hate your job, you quarrel with your family, your home is a mess or you find it difficult to get by on your salary. The problem is that negative energy tends to take over and block out all the wonderful things you could be doing to change your life and move on. Here are 15 things you should definitely forget.

1. Forget about complaining.

“Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.” – Stefan Sagmeister

It is interesting to watch those who complain all the time. They never get anywhere. Watch Stefan Sagmeister’s TED talk in which he emphasises that good design has been the key to his happiness. We should apply the same principle of good design to the way we live. Make a list every day of what to be thankful for. Gratitude can put things into perspective and makes you realize what you have and that you are extremely fortunate.

2. Forget about failed relationships.

You might think that fate always seems to play tricks on you and introduce you to the wrong people. Forget about those failed relationships and think about them as a learning experience. Learn to evaluate why they went wrong and stop beating yourself up. If you do not forget, these thoughts will fester and you will become a very bitter person. Let go and forgive when you can. Just think that you are becoming wiser and more mature.

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3. Forget about what you are missing.

Maybe you are focused on all the things you should have had, if only things had gone better. You know the missed chances and the opportunities you were not quick enough to grasp. The danger here is that you will become envious and this will hinder your own growth and happiness. Think about what you have now and that is a treasure that many other people would love to have.

4. Forget about what you cannot change.

If you were born with a certain level of intelligence or physical defects, it is always wise to forget about changing these innate characteristics. Regretting being too tall, short, fat or skinny will lead to misery and pessimism. Concentrate on keeping fit and healthy no matter what size you are.

5. Forget about the fixed mindset.

This is when you think that your skills and abilities are really enough and that there is no need to grow. In your job, you will find it hard to get promotion or move forward. You will convince yourself that you are not very computerate or good with people. That is a fixed mindset and will get you nowhere.

It is always better to have the growth mindset which Carol Dweck of Stanford University always advocates. You know that you can get ahead if you work at it. Think of your skills and abilities as delicate plants in need of careful maintenance. They can only grow.

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6.  Forget about getting immediate results.

A great source of dissatisfaction is when you fail to get the results you want within a certain time frame. Our society is fixated with results. This hinders progress and leads to demoralization. A much better way is to focus on the baby steps you have to take to meet your goals. Crossing off each one as you start getting there is empowering.

7. Forget about the miserable working conditions.

It probably is no surprise that almost a third of US workers are dissatisfied with their jobs and are considering moving on or seeking a better position. With younger employees in the 24-35 age group, this figure jumps to 40%. The main problems are low wages, endless meetings, email madness and lack of communication. If you are in a team leader role or in management, try to lessen the attrition and dissatisfaction by concentrating on better communication and more involvement in decision making processes.

8. Forget about finding your purpose.

“I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”- Bono, U2 song.

Many people are hung up about what their purpose in life is and that can lead to a festering dissatisfaction which is anything but healthy. They begin to question whether they are really in the right career or if they have chosen the wrong partner. They feel their inner self is out of step with their ordinary humdrum existence. The solution is to concentrate on what your true values and ethics are and also your ability to love and empathize will help you find your purpose automatically.

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9. Forget about rigid parental roles.

Many marriages are shipwrecked after the arrival of children and the responsibilities of parenthood start to fuel resentment about the traditional roles of each parent. The mother has had to carry the baby for nine months, give birth while the father may be exhausted from working overtime to make ends meet. Teamwork is usually the best solution to strangle dissatisfaction and resentment. Try to think of co-parenting so that neither parent is ever a mere observer. Most tasks (apart from breastfeeding) can be shared which will make parenting much more satisfying.

10. Forget the negativity.

You know how you become obsessed with negative thoughts. It seems almost the default position for the human brain. Studies now show that this negative self-talk can put your mental and physical health at risk. You are the one who always blames yourself 100% when you screw up and you always imagine the worst case scenario. Inevitably, this leads to low self-esteem. Try to put a positive spin on these thoughts and look at them from a humorous angle.

11. Forget about toxic people.

You cannot avoid these people at work and on social occasions all the time but aiming to give them a wide berth helps. They range from the complainers, the control freaks, the gossips, the greedy, the manipulators and the victims. These people can destroy your confidence and can also generate an atmosphere of dissatisfaction and discontent. The best way to cope with them is to establish boundaries and to disregard their negative opinions.

12. Forget the grudges.

The persons we dislike or hate because they cheated us will not be affected in the slightest way by us nursing that grudge. Yes, it is like a festering wound that never heals. You are the one that suffers, day in, day out. Your enemies are blissfully unaware of this and the negative vibes you send will never, ever make any difference to them. Let go of that grudge and forget about them. This will take time but it is a great investment in yourself.

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13. Forget the importance of money.

How many times have you thought that if you had more money, all your problems would be solved? Money becomes the prime motivator and that puts family and friends at the bottom of the list. Loyalty, values and friendship get pushed aside. The secret is to put money in its place because it can be used for good or ill. Spending money carelessly or becoming obsessed with saving it can damage relationships and feed selfishness.

14. Forget about satisfaction dictated by society.

We live in a society which demands satisfaction all the time. Look at how many customer satisfaction surveys we come across every day! The main problem here is that you fall into the trap of trying to be perfectly happy, fit, well-off, and healthy. Time to create your version of what success and satisfaction mean to you and stop trying to meet the impossible demands that our society has set.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

15. Forget the self-destructive behavior.

Maybe you resent that guy who got the promotion you so desperately wanted? The problem here is that resentment will take root and you start to indulge in self-destructive behavior such as working less and taking sick leave as often as you can. If you start doing that, that guy will be laughing his head off as he sees you destroy your whole career. Talk about an own goal!

The secret of coping with dissatisfaction is being able to have a mindset where you aim to change just one thing in your life each day. How can you improve? What can you learn? Who can you help? Now add all these up and you have 365 efforts in one year! Now that should KO your dissatisfaction.

Featured photo credit: dissatisfied/Andy Smith via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on November 17, 2019

40 Amazing Date Ideas for Valentine’s Day

40 Amazing Date Ideas for Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, starry-eyed lovers worldwide are getting ready to celebrate their love and planning the perfect date for their partner. However, there are many loving, caring, and generally great people out there who simply can’t think of a single romantic thing to do, let alone create the ultimate Valentine’s Day experience for their loved one. If you are looking for some great date ideas that will put a smile on your partner’s face and melt their heart, then just keep on reading. I’ve got a pretty big list of choices for you. Here are some great ideas ranging from tried and true classics, to the fun and slightly unconventional.

1. Rom-coms marathon

This is a very basic yet highly romantic way of spending the day with your partner. Take a few days to prepare the right playlist and create a romantic atmosphere at home. You can order out some food, open a bottle of wine and cuddle up in front of the TV.

2. Recreate your first date

Rated pretty high on the “romantic gestures scale,” this is guaranteed to impress your significant other. It requires a good memory and a bit of work to make it just right, but it is well worth it. Walk down the same streets where you first kissed and have a couple of drinks in that old coffee shop where you had your first drinks together. Don’t be afraid to spend a bit extra and add a little romantic gift into the mix.

3. Cook for your loved one

Start researching good recipes for a romantic dinner for two, get the right ingredients and prepare a couple of practice dinners to make sure you’ve got your technique and presentation down pat. Cooking for someone can be a big turn on and you can create some incredible meals without spending too much money. Take it up a notch by dressing classy, decorating your dining room and presenting your partner with a printed menu.

4. Organize your very own ancient Greek party

Here’s another one of those creative date ideas for the stay-at-home couple. The ancient Greek private party can be a very fun and erotic experience. You can decorate by using big bowls full of grapes, spreading some white sheets all over the place, placing some plastic vines here and there, putting up a few posters depicting Greek parties and having plenty of wine lying around. Wear nothing but light sheets or costumes and channel some of that hot-blooded Greek spirit.

5. A romantic weekend getaway in the mountains

For those looking for a change of scenery and an escape from the busy city, there is nothing better than a quiet, romantic weekend in the mountains. There are plenty of fun activities like skiing that will keep you active. You can have fun making a snowman or engaging in a snowball fight, and, of course, there is plenty of privacy and great room service waiting for you back at your room.

6. Fun day at the shooting range

A bit unconventional but an incredibly fun and exciting date that will get your blood pumping and put a huge smile on your faces. Try out a number of guns and have a bit of a competition. Some outdoor ranges have fully automatic rifles, which are a blast to shoot.

7. Rent an expensive sports car for a day

Don’t be afraid to live large from time to time—even if you can’t afford the glamorous lifestyle of the stars, you can most definitely play pretend for a day. Put on some classy clothes and drive around town in a rented sports car. The quick acceleration and high speed are sure to provide an exhilarating experience.

8. Go on a shopping spree together

Very few things can elicit such a huge dopamine rush as a good old shopping spree. Get some new lingerie, pretty shoes, a nice shirt and tie, a couple of new video games or whatever else you need or want. This is a unique chance to bond, have fun and get some stuff that you’ve been waiting to buy for a while now.

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9. Hit the clubs

For all the party animals out there, one of the best date ideas is to go out drinking, dancing, and just generally enjoying the night life. Visit a few good clubs, then go to an after-party and keep that party spirit going for as long as you can.

10. Spend the day driving around the city and visiting new places

This one is geared towards couples who have been together for a year or two and want to experience a few new things together. Visit a few cool coffee places on the other side of town, check out interesting restaurants you’ve never been to, and consider going to see a play or having fun at a comedy club on open mic night.

11. Wine and chocolates at sunset

Pick out a romantic location, such as a camping spot on a hill overlooking the city or a balcony in a restaurant with a nice view, open a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates and wait for that perfect moment when the sky turns fiery red to embrace and share a passionate kiss.

12. Ice skating

There is something incredibly fun about ice skating that brings people closer together and just keeps you laughing (maybe it’s all the falling and clinging to the other person for dear life). You can have some great fun and then move on to a more private location for some alone time.

13. Body painting

Speaking of private locations and intimate moments, body painting allows you to spice things up back at your place and add a new element of fun to foreplay. You’ll need adequate body paints and some brushes and the rest is up to you. You can do tiger stripes, paint a t-shirt on your partner, or go for something more abstract—the choice is yours.

14. Model clothes for each other

This one goes well when combined with a shopping spree, but you can just get a bunch of your clothes—old and new—from the closet, set up a catwalk area and then try on different combinations. You can be stylish, funny or beautiful. It’s a great after-dinner show and a good way to transition into a more intimate atmosphere.

15. Dance the night away

If you and your significant other are relatively good dancers, or if you simply enjoy moving your body to the rhythm of the music, then a night at salsa club or similar venue is the perfect thing for you. Alternatively, you can set up dance floor at home, play your favorite music, have a few drinks and dance like there is no tomorrow.

16. Lock the doors, turn off the phones and have the whole house to yourselves

This one might seem a bit obvious and kind of redundant seeing as how I’ve already mentioned a bunch of stay-at-home date ideas that require this step as a prerequisite, but when I say, “Have the whole house to yourselves,” I literally mean turning the whole house into romantic stage where you can explore your fantasies. Decorate each room a bit differently, have a lot of snacks and drinks lying around, put a bunch of blankets and pillows on the floor and go from room to room throughout the day. You can start off with a steaming shower, have a romantic meal, then watch a movie cuddled up on the couch and eventually make your way to the bedroom.

17. Organize a nature walk

Being outside has many health benefits, but what you are going for is the beautiful view, seclusion, and the thrill of engaging in some erotic behavior out in the open. You can rent a cottage far from the city, bring some food and drinks, and explore the wilderness. This is nice way to spice things up a bit and get away from the loud and busy city life.

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18. Act out a fun scenario wearing costumes

Some role-playing may be just the thing you need to spice up your love life after a few years of being together, but it can be a very fun experience for new couples as well. Work on the scenario together (wounded soldier and nurse, a female cop arresting a robber, etc.), buy the right costumes and accessories beforehand and find a good setting. You could also rent a hotel room to add to the forbidden-fruit vibe.

19. Travel abroad

This takes a bit of planning in advance and may be a bit costly, but if you can afford it, there are very few things that can match a trip to France, Italy, Egypt, Turkey, Greece, or a number of other excellent locations.

20. Go on a hot-air balloon ride

These are very fun and romantic—you get an incredible view, get to experience the thrill of flying, and you’ve got enough room for a romantic dinner and some champagne. Just be sure to wear warm clothes, it can get pretty cold high up in the air.

21. A relaxing day at the spa

Treat your body, mind and senses to a relaxing day at the spa. You and your partner will feel fresh, comfortable and relaxed—a perfect date for the more serious couples who don’t get to spend as much time with each other as they’d like.

22. A trip down memory lane

This one is great for long-term couples who will benefit from reminiscing about all of their fondest memories together from the start of the relationship through to the present, reliving some of the most significant moments they shared.

23. Fun times at a karaoke bar

A great choice for couples celebrating their first Valentine’s Day together—it’s fairly informal and inexpensive, yet incredibly fun and allows for deeper bonding. Once you have a few drinks in your system and come to terms with the fact that you are making a complete fool of yourself, you’ll have the time of your life!

24. Helicopter tour of the city followed by dinner

A modern equivalent to the hot-air balloon ride, the helicopter tour is among the more reasonably priced date ideas and is incredibly romantic and exciting. After about half an hour or an hour of sightseeing you can finish off the upper-class experience by dining in a nice restaurant.

25. Horseback riding

Horseback riding is incredibly fun, especially if you’ve never done it before. And what girl doesn’t dream of a prince coming to take her on an adventure on his noble steed? It evokes a sense of nobility and is a very good bonding experience.

26. Plan a fun date night with other couples

Take a break and rent a cabin in the woods, go to a mountain resort, a couple’s retreat, or just organize a huge date night at someone’s place and hang out with other couples. This is a great option for couples who have spent at least one Valentine’s Day together and allows you to customize your experience to suit your needs. Also, you can always retire early and get some alone time with your partner if you so desire.

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27. Cocktail night

This can be done privately, or with other couples if you are organizing a group Valentine’s Day celebration at someone’s house. All you need is a bunch of different drinks, a few accessories like fruit and spices, and internet access to check out some cool recipes online. Try out all sorts of fun cocktails and mix some brand new ones on your own. Make it a fancy dress night for added fun.

28. Make reservations at an exclusive restaurant

A fairly old school move, except this time you can pick out a restaurant that serves a particular type of cuisine you’ve never tried before. Go for a place that has unusual menus and likes to make a show out of presenting the food, rather than just going for your regular “suits and monocles” type venue.

29. Go to a concert

There are a whole bunch of things happening around Valentine’s Day, so go online and check out what’s happening near you. You’ll surely be able to find tickets for a cool concert or some type of festival with live music.

30. Fancy night on the town

Buy some elegant new clothes, rent a limo for the night and go to a nice restaurant, followed by a jazz club or gallery exhibition. Walk tall, make a few sarcastic quips, and have a few laughs with your partner while letting your inner snob take charge for a few hours.

31. Take a tour of the historical and cultural sites of your city

For the cultured crowd and history buffs among us, a day spent learning about some of the local history and delving deeper into national culture is both incredibly fun and a great way to share a unique experience with a loved one. You’d be surprised to find just how much you don’t know about the place you live in.

32. Live out a James Bond film at a casino

A beautiful lady in a simple yet sensual, form-fitting, black dress, and a strong and handsome, if somewhat stern-looking man in a fine suit walk up to a roulette table with drinks in hand and place bets at random as they smile at each other seductively. This is a scenario most of us wish to play out, but rarely get a chance. It can be a bit costly, but this is one of the most incredibly adventurous and romantic date ideas.

33. Go bungee jumping

People in long-term relationships often talk about things like keeping a relationship fun and exciting, doing new things together, trusting each other and using aphrodisiacs. Well, bungee jumping is a fun, exhilarating activity you can both enjoy; it requires trust and the adrenaline rush you get from it is better than any aphrodisiac out there. Just saying, give it a shot and you won’t regret it.

34. Take a tour of a winery or brewery

Taking a tour like this can be a great opportunity to learn new things about wine or beer (or perhaps whiskey) and how it is made, while at the same time getting a chance to taste some excellent drinks and get a few bottles for later in the evening.

35. Make a fun music video

Meet up earlier in the day, take decent camera, and start shooting a music video. Rehearse the lyrics (you can even make up your own silly song), dress up, and start filming. You’ll have tons of fun doing it and you can edit the video later and have a cool memento.

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36. Play some sports

Some one-on-one basketball, a soccer match against another couple, a bit of tennis, or even something as simple as a table tennis tournament (make it fun by stripping off items of clothing when you lose a game). You can combine this with date idea #13 and paint team uniforms on each other and play in the nude.

37. Visit a club with live music

A great option for just about any couple—pick a club that has live performers (whether it’s jazz, rock or even a poetry reading) and dress up for the occasion. Be sure to make reservations in advance to avoid the Valentine’s Day rush, and focus on making your date feel comfortable.

38. Take skydiving lessons

Another adrenaline-filled date, skydiving is sure to get your heart racing like crazy and leave you with a goofy grin for the rest of the day. You can offset all the excitement by ending the day with a quiet dinner at home.

39. Go for some paintball

Playing war games is an excellent way to get your body moving, focus on some of that hand-eye-coordination, and engage your brain in coming up with tactical solutions in the heat of the moment. It is also a great bonding experience, adrenaline-fueled fun, and role-playing all wrapped into one. And when you get back home, you can always act out the wounded soldier scenario (see #18).

40. Fill the whole day with random fun activities

Just say no to plans, reservations and clichés—take your partner by the hand, have your credit card ready and just go out and have some fun. Bowling, followed by a drink at a coffee shop and then a romantic movie? Sure, why not? Going for lunch at a nice restaurant and then organizing a double-date game night? Go right ahead. Going for a long walk in the park, visiting a museum, followed by romantic meal at home and then going out to a club? Hey, who am I to say no? You can use some of the ideas from this article and mash them up together to create a fun-filled Valentine’s Day you’ll both remember.

There you go, a whole bunch of useful date ideas for all you loving couples out there. You can pick out any one of these, make some adjustments or even combine different options to create the perfect Valentine’s Day date for your significant other. Plan ahead, have fun and celebrate your love proudly.

Featured photo credit: Relevante design via unsplash.com

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