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15 Things To Forget If You’re Not Satisfied With Your Life

15 Things To Forget If You’re Not Satisfied With Your Life

Why are you dissatisfied with your life? There may be many reasons. Perhaps you hate your job, you quarrel with your family, your home is a mess or you find it difficult to get by on your salary. The problem is that negative energy tends to take over and block out all the wonderful things you could be doing to change your life and move on. Here are 15 things you should definitely forget.

1. Forget about complaining.

“Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.” – Stefan Sagmeister

It is interesting to watch those who complain all the time. They never get anywhere. Watch Stefan Sagmeister’s TED talk in which he emphasises that good design has been the key to his happiness. We should apply the same principle of good design to the way we live. Make a list every day of what to be thankful for. Gratitude can put things into perspective and makes you realize what you have and that you are extremely fortunate.

2. Forget about failed relationships.

You might think that fate always seems to play tricks on you and introduce you to the wrong people. Forget about those failed relationships and think about them as a learning experience. Learn to evaluate why they went wrong and stop beating yourself up. If you do not forget, these thoughts will fester and you will become a very bitter person. Let go and forgive when you can. Just think that you are becoming wiser and more mature.

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3. Forget about what you are missing.

Maybe you are focused on all the things you should have had, if only things had gone better. You know the missed chances and the opportunities you were not quick enough to grasp. The danger here is that you will become envious and this will hinder your own growth and happiness. Think about what you have now and that is a treasure that many other people would love to have.

4. Forget about what you cannot change.

If you were born with a certain level of intelligence or physical defects, it is always wise to forget about changing these innate characteristics. Regretting being too tall, short, fat or skinny will lead to misery and pessimism. Concentrate on keeping fit and healthy no matter what size you are.

5. Forget about the fixed mindset.

This is when you think that your skills and abilities are really enough and that there is no need to grow. In your job, you will find it hard to get promotion or move forward. You will convince yourself that you are not very computerate or good with people. That is a fixed mindset and will get you nowhere.

It is always better to have the growth mindset which Carol Dweck of Stanford University always advocates. You know that you can get ahead if you work at it. Think of your skills and abilities as delicate plants in need of careful maintenance. They can only grow.

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6.  Forget about getting immediate results.

A great source of dissatisfaction is when you fail to get the results you want within a certain time frame. Our society is fixated with results. This hinders progress and leads to demoralization. A much better way is to focus on the baby steps you have to take to meet your goals. Crossing off each one as you start getting there is empowering.

7. Forget about the miserable working conditions.

It probably is no surprise that almost a third of US workers are dissatisfied with their jobs and are considering moving on or seeking a better position. With younger employees in the 24-35 age group, this figure jumps to 40%. The main problems are low wages, endless meetings, email madness and lack of communication. If you are in a team leader role or in management, try to lessen the attrition and dissatisfaction by concentrating on better communication and more involvement in decision making processes.

8. Forget about finding your purpose.

“I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”- Bono, U2 song.

Many people are hung up about what their purpose in life is and that can lead to a festering dissatisfaction which is anything but healthy. They begin to question whether they are really in the right career or if they have chosen the wrong partner. They feel their inner self is out of step with their ordinary humdrum existence. The solution is to concentrate on what your true values and ethics are and also your ability to love and empathize will help you find your purpose automatically.

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9. Forget about rigid parental roles.

Many marriages are shipwrecked after the arrival of children and the responsibilities of parenthood start to fuel resentment about the traditional roles of each parent. The mother has had to carry the baby for nine months, give birth while the father may be exhausted from working overtime to make ends meet. Teamwork is usually the best solution to strangle dissatisfaction and resentment. Try to think of co-parenting so that neither parent is ever a mere observer. Most tasks (apart from breastfeeding) can be shared which will make parenting much more satisfying.

10. Forget the negativity.

You know how you become obsessed with negative thoughts. It seems almost the default position for the human brain. Studies now show that this negative self-talk can put your mental and physical health at risk. You are the one who always blames yourself 100% when you screw up and you always imagine the worst case scenario. Inevitably, this leads to low self-esteem. Try to put a positive spin on these thoughts and look at them from a humorous angle.

11. Forget about toxic people.

You cannot avoid these people at work and on social occasions all the time but aiming to give them a wide berth helps. They range from the complainers, the control freaks, the gossips, the greedy, the manipulators and the victims. These people can destroy your confidence and can also generate an atmosphere of dissatisfaction and discontent. The best way to cope with them is to establish boundaries and to disregard their negative opinions.

12. Forget the grudges.

The persons we dislike or hate because they cheated us will not be affected in the slightest way by us nursing that grudge. Yes, it is like a festering wound that never heals. You are the one that suffers, day in, day out. Your enemies are blissfully unaware of this and the negative vibes you send will never, ever make any difference to them. Let go of that grudge and forget about them. This will take time but it is a great investment in yourself.

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13. Forget the importance of money.

How many times have you thought that if you had more money, all your problems would be solved? Money becomes the prime motivator and that puts family and friends at the bottom of the list. Loyalty, values and friendship get pushed aside. The secret is to put money in its place because it can be used for good or ill. Spending money carelessly or becoming obsessed with saving it can damage relationships and feed selfishness.

14. Forget about satisfaction dictated by society.

We live in a society which demands satisfaction all the time. Look at how many customer satisfaction surveys we come across every day! The main problem here is that you fall into the trap of trying to be perfectly happy, fit, well-off, and healthy. Time to create your version of what success and satisfaction mean to you and stop trying to meet the impossible demands that our society has set.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

15. Forget the self-destructive behavior.

Maybe you resent that guy who got the promotion you so desperately wanted? The problem here is that resentment will take root and you start to indulge in self-destructive behavior such as working less and taking sick leave as often as you can. If you start doing that, that guy will be laughing his head off as he sees you destroy your whole career. Talk about an own goal!

The secret of coping with dissatisfaction is being able to have a mindset where you aim to change just one thing in your life each day. How can you improve? What can you learn? Who can you help? Now add all these up and you have 365 efforts in one year! Now that should KO your dissatisfaction.

Featured photo credit: dissatisfied/Andy Smith via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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