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15 Things To Forget If You’re Not Satisfied With Your Life

15 Things To Forget If You’re Not Satisfied With Your Life

Why are you dissatisfied with your life? There may be many reasons. Perhaps you hate your job, you quarrel with your family, your home is a mess or you find it difficult to get by on your salary. The problem is that negative energy tends to take over and block out all the wonderful things you could be doing to change your life and move on. Here are 15 things you should definitely forget.

1. Forget about complaining.

“Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.” – Stefan Sagmeister

It is interesting to watch those who complain all the time. They never get anywhere. Watch Stefan Sagmeister’s TED talk in which he emphasises that good design has been the key to his happiness. We should apply the same principle of good design to the way we live. Make a list every day of what to be thankful for. Gratitude can put things into perspective and makes you realize what you have and that you are extremely fortunate.

2. Forget about failed relationships.

You might think that fate always seems to play tricks on you and introduce you to the wrong people. Forget about those failed relationships and think about them as a learning experience. Learn to evaluate why they went wrong and stop beating yourself up. If you do not forget, these thoughts will fester and you will become a very bitter person. Let go and forgive when you can. Just think that you are becoming wiser and more mature.

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3. Forget about what you are missing.

Maybe you are focused on all the things you should have had, if only things had gone better. You know the missed chances and the opportunities you were not quick enough to grasp. The danger here is that you will become envious and this will hinder your own growth and happiness. Think about what you have now and that is a treasure that many other people would love to have.

4. Forget about what you cannot change.

If you were born with a certain level of intelligence or physical defects, it is always wise to forget about changing these innate characteristics. Regretting being too tall, short, fat or skinny will lead to misery and pessimism. Concentrate on keeping fit and healthy no matter what size you are.

5. Forget about the fixed mindset.

This is when you think that your skills and abilities are really enough and that there is no need to grow. In your job, you will find it hard to get promotion or move forward. You will convince yourself that you are not very computerate or good with people. That is a fixed mindset and will get you nowhere.

It is always better to have the growth mindset which Carol Dweck of Stanford University always advocates. You know that you can get ahead if you work at it. Think of your skills and abilities as delicate plants in need of careful maintenance. They can only grow.

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6.  Forget about getting immediate results.

A great source of dissatisfaction is when you fail to get the results you want within a certain time frame. Our society is fixated with results. This hinders progress and leads to demoralization. A much better way is to focus on the baby steps you have to take to meet your goals. Crossing off each one as you start getting there is empowering.

7. Forget about the miserable working conditions.

It probably is no surprise that almost a third of US workers are dissatisfied with their jobs and are considering moving on or seeking a better position. With younger employees in the 24-35 age group, this figure jumps to 40%. The main problems are low wages, endless meetings, email madness and lack of communication. If you are in a team leader role or in management, try to lessen the attrition and dissatisfaction by concentrating on better communication and more involvement in decision making processes.

8. Forget about finding your purpose.

“I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”- Bono, U2 song.

Many people are hung up about what their purpose in life is and that can lead to a festering dissatisfaction which is anything but healthy. They begin to question whether they are really in the right career or if they have chosen the wrong partner. They feel their inner self is out of step with their ordinary humdrum existence. The solution is to concentrate on what your true values and ethics are and also your ability to love and empathize will help you find your purpose automatically.

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9. Forget about rigid parental roles.

Many marriages are shipwrecked after the arrival of children and the responsibilities of parenthood start to fuel resentment about the traditional roles of each parent. The mother has had to carry the baby for nine months, give birth while the father may be exhausted from working overtime to make ends meet. Teamwork is usually the best solution to strangle dissatisfaction and resentment. Try to think of co-parenting so that neither parent is ever a mere observer. Most tasks (apart from breastfeeding) can be shared which will make parenting much more satisfying.

10. Forget the negativity.

You know how you become obsessed with negative thoughts. It seems almost the default position for the human brain. Studies now show that this negative self-talk can put your mental and physical health at risk. You are the one who always blames yourself 100% when you screw up and you always imagine the worst case scenario. Inevitably, this leads to low self-esteem. Try to put a positive spin on these thoughts and look at them from a humorous angle.

11. Forget about toxic people.

You cannot avoid these people at work and on social occasions all the time but aiming to give them a wide berth helps. They range from the complainers, the control freaks, the gossips, the greedy, the manipulators and the victims. These people can destroy your confidence and can also generate an atmosphere of dissatisfaction and discontent. The best way to cope with them is to establish boundaries and to disregard their negative opinions.

12. Forget the grudges.

The persons we dislike or hate because they cheated us will not be affected in the slightest way by us nursing that grudge. Yes, it is like a festering wound that never heals. You are the one that suffers, day in, day out. Your enemies are blissfully unaware of this and the negative vibes you send will never, ever make any difference to them. Let go of that grudge and forget about them. This will take time but it is a great investment in yourself.

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13. Forget the importance of money.

How many times have you thought that if you had more money, all your problems would be solved? Money becomes the prime motivator and that puts family and friends at the bottom of the list. Loyalty, values and friendship get pushed aside. The secret is to put money in its place because it can be used for good or ill. Spending money carelessly or becoming obsessed with saving it can damage relationships and feed selfishness.

14. Forget about satisfaction dictated by society.

We live in a society which demands satisfaction all the time. Look at how many customer satisfaction surveys we come across every day! The main problem here is that you fall into the trap of trying to be perfectly happy, fit, well-off, and healthy. Time to create your version of what success and satisfaction mean to you and stop trying to meet the impossible demands that our society has set.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

15. Forget the self-destructive behavior.

Maybe you resent that guy who got the promotion you so desperately wanted? The problem here is that resentment will take root and you start to indulge in self-destructive behavior such as working less and taking sick leave as often as you can. If you start doing that, that guy will be laughing his head off as he sees you destroy your whole career. Talk about an own goal!

The secret of coping with dissatisfaction is being able to have a mindset where you aim to change just one thing in your life each day. How can you improve? What can you learn? Who can you help? Now add all these up and you have 365 efforts in one year! Now that should KO your dissatisfaction.

Featured photo credit: dissatisfied/Andy Smith via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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