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14 Things to Remember if You Love A Spontaneous Spirit

14 Things to Remember if You Love A Spontaneous Spirit

Exhilarating, isn’t it?

The energy of a spontaneous person can be wondrous. You wonder why they don’t collapse from fatigue. At the same time, you want to collapse from exhaustion just watching them. They can be dynamos.

Then, why are you so frustrated? Could it be their lack of organizational discipline? Could it be their ability to turn the most somber of places into a playground?

Your loved one is definitely a paradox. Be confused no longer.

Here are 14 things to remember about why the charms of a spontaneous spirit outweigh his or her idiosyncrasies.

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1. They are optimists.

They don’t take criticism to heart. They look at disappointments as learning experiences and plan on improving going forward.

2. They make their own fun

This does not entail prior planning. They know life may have other plans. Scottish poet Robert Burns once wrote, The best laid [plans] of mice and men often go awry. Spontaneous people know this better than anyone. For this reason, the ability to be flexible, to “roll with the punches,” is one of their many strengths.

3. They have a need for spontaneity.

They feed that need like a fix. The definition of spontaneity is the quality coming from natural feelings without constraint. The sooner you stop trying to constrain them, the easier you will make them feel understood and get along with them.

4. They are observant.

As a result, they are able to find fun in unusual situations. Their curiosity is an asset to them.

5. They enjoy spur-of-the-moment activities.

They don’t need expensive concert or theater tickets purchased ahead of time to have fun. They make their own fun. Besides, what if something else came up in the interim?

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6. They are flexible.

They know how to roll with the punches. Rigid people could take a lesson from them. According to writer Henry Miller, “All growth is a spontaneous unpremeditated act.”

7. They are not boring.

According to football coach Lou Holtz, “If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up with a burning desire to do things, then you don’t have enough goals.” Spontaneous people have a zeal that propels them. Articles are even written about how to be spontaneous and less boring. These qualities are viewed as polar opposites.

8. They don’t over analyze.

For this reason, they don’t get on people’s nerves for being too serious.

9. They are leaders.

People look to them for guidance. On a rainy day, on a scorching day, on any day with nothing to do, it is the person with spontaneity that group members look to. They know which friend will be able to show them ideas for a good time.

10. They are popular.

People want to be in their company. They might have an entourage full of groupies. Who wouldn’t want to be in the company of a flexible person who has good ideas when they want to have fun?

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11. They have high self-esteem.

They like themselves despite the naysayers and critics. They know they are not boring and rigid and can’t understand why anyone would find those qualities appealing.

12. They are creative.

They can find an opportunity for fun even in the most mundane. Could an empty box serve as a pretend stage and an empty paper-towel roll a pretend microphone? Absolutely. Oscar Wilde said, “Spontaneity is a meticulously prepared art.” Your spontaneous loved one is an artist, according to Wilde.

13. They are tomorrow’s stand-up comics.

If you need proof, just look in improvisation classes. You will find them there. Legendary comic genius Robin Williams became famous turning the mundane into the extraordinary. Comedian Steve Martin made a name for himself as a “wild and crazy guy”.

14. They are romantic.

Who wouldn’t want to be swept off their feet by someone who made them a last-minute late-night supper or surprised them for lunch or with flowers?

Are you ready to accept your loved one?

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Spontaneous people face disapproval they don’t understand. They have a reputation for not thinking things through and wanting a good time above meeting their responsibilities. As soon as people realize they’re spontaneous, this is how they get pegged.

It is important to realize that your loved one is not going through a phase; spontaneity is an attitude, a personality characteristic as much a part of them as their eye color.

Spontaneous spirits need understanding and acceptance, not criticism.

Spontaneous people are flexible. Can you be flexible? Are you ready to learn from their example and be open to the idea of accepting them for the endearing people they are?

Related post: 20 Things to Remember if You Love a Highly Creative Person

 

Featured photo credit: Ryan McGuire via gratisography.com

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Janice Wald

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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