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13 Things Shy People Will Never Tell You About Themselves

13 Things Shy People Will Never Tell You About Themselves

Being shy isn’t as straightforward as you might think. There are a lot of things shy people will never tell you—things you might want to know to better understand who they are. As a shy person myself, I feel somewhat qualified to say what those things are. Here are 13 things shy people will never tell you.

1. We’re not sure what to say

Just because we’re shy doens’t mean we prefer to be alone all the time. Shy people would never tell you this, but we might just not know how to contribute to a conversation, even if we want to. This is especially true in larger groups. Shy people tend to do fine in one-on-one convos, but once the conversation is with three or more people it starts to become more difficult.

2. We’re waiting for the exact right time to speak

When we do speak, we want to say something that has an impact. It’s entirely possible that we’re shy because we’re carefully looking for opportunities when we actually have something contribute to the discussion. We don’t want to say something stupid. We might want to impress you. If that requires staying mum most of the time, so be it.

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3. We’re not great conversationalists

We don’t like to admit it, but shy people often don’t have the gift of gab. Some people are good at small talk, but shy people are frequently terrible at it, which is one reason they might keep quiet.

4. We don’t like meeting new people

We just don’t. That kind of attitude is something shy people would never tell you about, but we’re often worried that we won’t know how to act in front of a person we just met. We need some time to learn how to behave around them, so that we don’t do anything “wrong.”

5. We don’t know if we can trust you

If we’re not talkative around you, it could be because we’re afraid of being judged. Shy people would never tell you this because it has nothing to do with you, but we’re often slow to trust people. Give us a chance to become comfortable around you and maybe we’ll start to open up.

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6. We have other things on our mind

Honestly, sometimes we’re quiet because we’re thinking about something else that’s more interesting or more important to us. Shy people would never tell you that listening to you isn’t their number one priority, but the less talkative we are the more likely it is we have our head in the clouds.

7. We’re not all good listeners

Following up on that, just because we’re not talking doesn’t necessarily mean we’re listening any closer than the average person. Sometimes shy people have more trouble listening. Many people on the autism spectrum, for example, are shy and have difficulty paying attention.

8. We sometimes prefer being a spectator to a participant

Even if everyone else is playing a game of pickup basketball, we may be happier sitting on the sidelines. Sometimes we would rather watch other people participate in an activity than get involved ourselves.

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9. We like our alone time

A lot of shy people would never tell you this because we don’t want to come across as hermits, but we often need more alone time than most people. You’ll find some people particularly shy when they’re exhausted from being around people for the whole day.

10. We’re not leaders but we’re not necessarily followers, either

Shy people don’t generally have the personalities to lead a team, but that doesn’t always mean we’re happy being part of the herd. Shy people would never tell you this because it might come off as antisocial, but we often prefer to work independently instead of as a part of a group.

11. We like to be behind the scenes

Shy people still want to have an impact on the world; just not in the spotlight. We’re more likely to be writers than actors, or sports reporters than athletes. Don’t push us front and center, because we’ll most excel when we’re not the subject of attention.

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12. We don’t like getting our picture taken

Shy people would never tell you this, but we’re extremely self-conscious about how we look, especially in still photographs. Don’t be surprised if we duck out of a selfie.

13. We’re extremely critical of ourselves

Shy people would never tell you about our negative attitudes, but we often struggle with our perceptions of ourselves. For example, you’ll find a lot of shy people have trouble taking a compliment. Yet another thing you should know about shy people.

Featured photo credit: Shy/lira pipa via flickr.com

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Matt OKeefe

Matt is a marketer and writer who shares about lifestyle and productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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