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15 Simple Things To A Happier You In 2017

15 Simple Things To A Happier You In 2017

In a world where life is going 100 mph, it’s often hard to be present. Most people don’t know what ‘being present’ even means. People are so bombarded with distractions from daily life that their minds are full, their hearts are sad, and their anxiety levels are soaring.

People are striving to be happier, but they don’t know how to achieve it. “If I get this job, I will be happier.” “If I buy that new iPhone, that new dress, or go on that dream holiday, I will be happier.” “If I lose 6lbs, I will be happier.” “If my partner gives me more attention, I will be happier.” Often, the happiness that we get from attaining those things is only short lived. Little do we realize that the power to be happier is inside us; it starts with us, it ends with us, and no material item, person, or place can make us happier – it has to come from within. Try some of these simple things for a happier you in 2017.

1. Embrace yourself.

They say if we spoke to others how we talked to ourselves, we wouldn’t have any friends. Make 2017 the year that you are kind to yourself. Say nice things to yourself, love yourself for who you are. Take a moment to realize how amazing your body is and instead of focusing on how it looks, thank it for everything else. Our bodies do so much more for us than we give it credit for. Practice self-love, find beautiful words to say to yourself, and ignore that “horrible voice” that just brings self-doubt.

2. Be kind to yourself.

Some days we are on point; we can seem to glide through the day and be the best version of ourselves. Other days, everything seems to go wrong. Learn not to punish yourselves on those days; listen to your body and ask it what it needs. If you need a day on the sofa in your pj’s watching movies, then do it. If you can’t be bothered to do the endless list of chores that you have set yourself, then don’t do it. We strive too much to be perfect, but life isn’t like that. Be kind to yourself this year!

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3. Don’t compare yourselves to others.

In a world where social media can make other people’s lives look perfect, we need to remember that it’s often fake; just like the movies, it’s often not real life. Comparing yourself to others is the worst thing that you can do for your self-esteem. Take a moment to look at all your personal achievements, no matter how small they may seem. We all have something, every single one of us. Spend less time looking at other people lives, and start to realize how great you are!

4. Don’t always listen to the negative noise.

We have an inbuilt “pain in the butt” noise called ‘self-doubt.” That noise is there for a reason; to help us survive. However, in a world where there is no longer a Saber-tooth tiger chasing us, we don’t need to fear for our lives as much as our brain thinks we do; be mindful of this. That self-doubting voice can get really loud sometimes, but find the strength to push through it. You got this; you are braver and stronger than you believe!

5. Learn to love yourself.

I say this in a non-narcissistic way of course. Loving yourself is not posting selfies onto social media looking absolutely fabulous and hashtagging the living daylights out of the picture. Self-love is about being kind to yourself and nurturing yourself; it’s about doing things that make you happy. Spending time with friends and family, walking in nature, yoga…whatever it is, make 2017 a year where you do more of this. Appreciate yourself for the wonderfully unique person that you are.

6. Go for walks in nature.

It’s so important that we take some time most days to switch off and walk in nature. Don’t put pressure on yourself to go for a long walk or hike, just start small. If walking is new to you, just try a few minutes a couple of times a week; aim to do this without your phone or music device. Listen to the birds and the trees, and let your senses awaken. We are so connected to our phones these days that we are aren’t giving ourselves any free time to “just be.”

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Whenever you can, kick off your shoes and walk barefoot. There is something so enriching and calming about walking barefoot; some call it “earthing.” When we walk barefoot on the earth, we can be recharged by the planet. Make sure that you look up; we are all so used to looking down at our phones that we forget to look above us. Watch the clouds, notice the birds, and stare at the stars; your inner child will thank you for it!

7. Try meditation this year.

So many people avoid meditation, since they feel they can’t switch off. Even thinking about mindfulness or meditation can be so daunting; our minds are now so full of data and images from other people’s lives, that our thoughts are in constant overdrive! The very best thing that you can do for yourself is to give your mind a little holiday! Even a few minutes a day, a couple of times each week is a step in the right direction.

8. Don’t go to bed or wake up with your phone.

We have now become so surgically attached to our phones that we check them as soon as we wake. Our ancestors would wake with the sun; now we wake with the blue light from our phones. Take a few moments to wake up naturally. Hug your partner or your dog, cuddle your kids, open the blinds and watch the world wake up. Give yourself some time until you start connecting with the outside world, if only for a few minutes. Try and leave your phone out of the bedroom; it’s difficult, but worth a try, and you might find that you fall asleep quicker and sleep better!

9. Look at yourself naked in the mirror and thank your body.

In a society where we see “perfect bodies” all over magazines, television, and social media, it can make us feel insecure about our bodies, but they do so much more for us than just “look good.” Bodies keep us alive, and they allow most of us to walk and talk and connect with others. We have arms to hug the people that we love the most, we have legs to allow us to walk in nature, swim, and run. We have eyes to see and ears to hear, yet we get angry at ourselves because we don’t have the perfect beach body. Embrace your incredible body. Stand naked in the mirror and thank your body for all the wonderful things it does for you. Remember that even the people in the magazines and on social media don’t look that, either! Be real, be you, and be kind to yourself.

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10. See yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you.

Our “negative voice” can be so mean to us. Look at yourself from the eyes of someone who loves you: your parents, your grandparents, friends, partner, or children. See how much they love you for who you are. The things that you may dislike about yourself may be the very thing that makes you perfect to them. You could even ask them, “What is something that you love about me?” Their answers could surprise you!

11. Connect with your children more, instead of your iPhone.

You are right in the middle of finding the perfect Instagram filter. You captured the perfect shot, and you are hashtagging the heck out of it and uploading it to social media.Your little three-year-old, who’s just given you a perfect smile for the picture, runs over and wants you to look at the dead spider with missing legs. You know what happens next, right? You shrug them off and tell them you are busy. No one is perfect, so let’s not beat ourselves up here. However, sometimes happiness is found in the simplest of things, and spending two minutes talking about where the spider’s other legs might be, or where its Mommy and Daddy may have gone, could make your soul smile. Trying to be more present with our children can make us happier. Children see the world from a different perspective than us; they notice things: clouds, nature, dead spiders with missing legs, and we all need a bit more of that in our lives.

12. Listen to your gut!

Our guts are so intuitive, yet we’ve stopped listening to them as much as we should. Instead, we listen to that negative inner voice which only creates doubt and anxiety. In 2017, make it a year that you are going to listen to your gut; go with it, trust it, and believe in it, because it has the answers to your problems that your head hasn’t quite worked out yet.

13. Do more of what makes you feel good.

If coffee makes you feel great, then drink it and enjoy it, but if makes you feel edgy and jittery, think about a different drink. If alcohol works for you then great, but if it doesn’t and it makes your feel anxious and depressed the next day, then you know what to do. If pumping iron in the gym makes you feel awesome, then do more of that, but if it doesn’t and you are the sort of person who needs the grounding and calming from yoga, then do that. This is your life, your journey, and your body and mind. Feed your soul with things that work for you.

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14. Take a moment to breathe.

In the western world, we have become a society that does a million things at once. We can achieve so much while waiting for the kettle to boil. We answer emails and texts while in the bathroom. No one is beating you up for this, but we aren’t allowing ourselves any quiet time every single time we do this. Taking just ten slow breaths in and out can help us to achieve a calmer mindset. So, next time you want to try and fit in twenty things while the kettle boils, just take some time to stop and breathe instead. Or, next time you are at the traffic lights and you reach for your phone, stop and use this time to practice slow breathing. Try and get slow breathing into your daily routine: shower, brush teeth, slow breathing.

15. Start to believe that you are enough.

Billions of people share this planet, yet you are so unique that there is only one of you. You are on this planet for a reason; only you know that reason, so embrace it, and if you don’t know what it is yet, make 2017 the year that you find it! Be proud of who you are, be proud of your achievements in life, no matter how small. We are all part of this planet; we are all connected, and we all have the ability to love. It’s one of the greatest gifts that humanity can offer, but this year, make sure that you love you!

2017 can be a year for great progression! In numerology, 2017 is considered as year 1 in the new 9-year life cycle, which means it’ll be a year for plenty of new elements and lots of hope! The best gift that you can give yourself is not to dwell on anything that happened last year. Whether 2016 was a good year or a bad year for you, it is now in the past, and this is a new year with new hopes, dreams, and opportunities.

Try not to worry about what will be or what has been, just aim to be more present in the everyday moments. This year, embrace yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for all that is great about you. Be your biggest fan, because with a little self-love and self-care your happiness will reflect off of you like sunshine!

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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Susy Parker

Author and Blogger

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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