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10 Sentences You Would Never Hear From Your Best Friends

10 Sentences You Would Never Hear From Your Best Friends

There is a common perception that your best friend can say anything to you, but this is not true. Your BFF would not use a close relationship with you as an opportunity to insult you. There are certain times when seemingly simple statements have stung and were derogatory enough to elicit a different expectation than expected. A true friend does not want to hurt you, even if unintentionally. Here are ten sentences you would never hear from your best friend.

1. “You seem to have lost some weight”

Weight is a dirty word. Perhaps your friend is trying to offer you a compliment – yet the statement can be confused as an insult. Do they know if you are losing weight because of depression? Maybe they thought you could not lose any weight and now they are suggesting that you have always been overweight. Rather than express their concern in such an accusatory way your best friend should say, “I’ve noticed you’re looking thinner lately. Is something going on that you want to talk about?”

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2. “Are you sure you’re good enough?”

Your best friend should never doubt your capabilities. He/she should be supportive of every goal you pursue. Instead of doubting your abilities your best friend should say, “I bet you can pull it off.”

3. “You cannot be right”

By saying this your best friend is implying that you are untrustworthy and casting doubt over your intelligence. A more tactful sentence like, “my understanding is that…” would help offer a clearer picture of what you are saying and make sure you are working on the same assumptions.

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4. “Good luck”

The implication of this statement is that whatever you do requires luck and nothing you do will make it succeed. It is also bad luck to wish good luck. Instead of attributing your accomplishments to luck, your friend should offer encouragement: “Offer them something they’ll never forget!”

5. “I wish you didn’t have to…”

Your best friend should motivate and help you to take action and change your situation. This sounds like moaning, and I bet you don’t like to be groaned at! Your best friend should not discourage your attempt to improve a situation. Rather, your friend should say, “We have to do something about this”

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6. “It could have been worse.”

Your best friend may be falling into use of a common phrase without thinking. Saying such a phrase will only imply something negative or pessimistic. It would be better to be honest and positive enough to say, “It will get better.”

7. “It can never…”

The word “never” puts a restriction on your life and doesn’t present us with an accurate reflection of the choices that still remain available to us. Your best friend should not close his/her mind to available options and should remove words like “never” from their vocabulary. Rather a phrase like, “I feel we can…” can prove more positive.

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8. “Don’t worry. It will be fine”

Even when your friend seems worried for a good reason, the phrase “don’t worry” is dismissive. Your friend should offer his/her judgment based on the situation. Using action to back up a statement like, “I’m here if you need me,” will go a long way to prove that they are willing to help through a rough time.

9. “I told you so”

This implies you are not paying attention or you are not listening to them. It could also imply that they are more prescient and wiser than you. Your best friend should understand that friendship with you is not a competition. There is no need to keep tabs on who is right or wrong. Rather they should say, “Let us fix this.” A good friend will show they are willing to help you out and not add salt to the wound.

10. “I don’t really care.”

Your friend may be emotionally charged but they should never tell you he/she doesn’t really care. Your best friend is meant to be concerned about your challenges and difficulties. Your best friend cannot say they don’t care, rather they should say, “I am here for you.”

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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