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10 Sentences You Would Never Hear From Your Best Friends

10 Sentences You Would Never Hear From Your Best Friends

There is a common perception that your best friend can say anything to you, but this is not true. Your BFF would not use a close relationship with you as an opportunity to insult you. There are certain times when seemingly simple statements have stung and were derogatory enough to elicit a different expectation than expected. A true friend does not want to hurt you, even if unintentionally. Here are ten sentences you would never hear from your best friend.

1. “You seem to have lost some weight”

Weight is a dirty word. Perhaps your friend is trying to offer you a compliment – yet the statement can be confused as an insult. Do they know if you are losing weight because of depression? Maybe they thought you could not lose any weight and now they are suggesting that you have always been overweight. Rather than express their concern in such an accusatory way your best friend should say, “I’ve noticed you’re looking thinner lately. Is something going on that you want to talk about?”

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2. “Are you sure you’re good enough?”

Your best friend should never doubt your capabilities. He/she should be supportive of every goal you pursue. Instead of doubting your abilities your best friend should say, “I bet you can pull it off.”

3. “You cannot be right”

By saying this your best friend is implying that you are untrustworthy and casting doubt over your intelligence. A more tactful sentence like, “my understanding is that…” would help offer a clearer picture of what you are saying and make sure you are working on the same assumptions.

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4. “Good luck”

The implication of this statement is that whatever you do requires luck and nothing you do will make it succeed. It is also bad luck to wish good luck. Instead of attributing your accomplishments to luck, your friend should offer encouragement: “Offer them something they’ll never forget!”

5. “I wish you didn’t have to…”

Your best friend should motivate and help you to take action and change your situation. This sounds like moaning, and I bet you don’t like to be groaned at! Your best friend should not discourage your attempt to improve a situation. Rather, your friend should say, “We have to do something about this”

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6. “It could have been worse.”

Your best friend may be falling into use of a common phrase without thinking. Saying such a phrase will only imply something negative or pessimistic. It would be better to be honest and positive enough to say, “It will get better.”

7. “It can never…”

The word “never” puts a restriction on your life and doesn’t present us with an accurate reflection of the choices that still remain available to us. Your best friend should not close his/her mind to available options and should remove words like “never” from their vocabulary. Rather a phrase like, “I feel we can…” can prove more positive.

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8. “Don’t worry. It will be fine”

Even when your friend seems worried for a good reason, the phrase “don’t worry” is dismissive. Your friend should offer his/her judgment based on the situation. Using action to back up a statement like, “I’m here if you need me,” will go a long way to prove that they are willing to help through a rough time.

9. “I told you so”

This implies you are not paying attention or you are not listening to them. It could also imply that they are more prescient and wiser than you. Your best friend should understand that friendship with you is not a competition. There is no need to keep tabs on who is right or wrong. Rather they should say, “Let us fix this.” A good friend will show they are willing to help you out and not add salt to the wound.

10. “I don’t really care.”

Your friend may be emotionally charged but they should never tell you he/she doesn’t really care. Your best friend is meant to be concerned about your challenges and difficulties. Your best friend cannot say they don’t care, rather they should say, “I am here for you.”

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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