People pleasers often get a bad reputation for being manipulative, overbearing, or nosy. But are people too harsh to people pleasers? And where does this harshness come from?
Often, resentment towards people pleasers comes from an element of distrust; people worry that people are only nice to one another to curry favor with them, or because they are spineless and just don’t want to ruffle any feathers.
But people pleasers are often misjudged and are not looking to manipulate, suck up or get people to like them. They are just merely trying to please people. Here are ten often overlooked reasons that being a people pleaser can be a good thing.
1. Because they are great at resolving conflicts
Because people pleasers want everyone to be happy, they are very good at finding ways to minimize friction within a social circle. Their knowledge of what makes people happy gives them a strong talent for resolving conflicts.
They know what everyone’s individual needs are, and how these may conflict with the needs of another, they can then parley this into a peaceful resolution that satisfies all parties involved.
2. Because they are great at making social connections
People pleasers are often very likeable, and very good at making small talk. They tend to be very sociable, outgoing people, and this level of confidence and friendliness means that people will naturally gravitate towards them.
This level of approachability gives them a broad social circle and support network.
This can be used to put people in touch with one another. If you are looking for a job or a place to live, people pleasers are often the best people to contact, as they know so many people, and can provide a great social medium between the two parties.
3. Because they tend to do well in their careers
Often people think that agreeable people succeed in their careers by ‘sucking up’ to their superiors.
The opposite is actually true; people who suck up tend to lack assertiveness and are often passed over for promotion by their superiors based on this. People pleasers tend to do well because they will go the extra mile to make friends and forge lasting social and work-based relationships with colleagues.
This not only gives them a broad network of people they can work with, but also allows them to streamline efficiency by putting the right people in touch with one another in order to get jobs done with efficiency.
4. Because they have attractive personalities
Their ability to find common ground with almost anyone gives them a highly approachable, friendly and confident demeanor.
Whilst others may go about trying to bolster their attractiveness through showy acts of machismo or obsessing about their appearance, people pleasers simply try to connect with others around them and genuinely pay attention to what they have to say.
This circumvents the need to put on a show. It reveals confidence and intelligence, which is often considered extremely attractive.
5. Because they are great listeners
People pleasers will often take a genuine and vested interest in the lives of others. Sometimes, people can find this personality trait nosy or pushy, but people pleasers are among the few people who will show a genuine interest in what you are doing and will be the first to offer their assistance if you are in any trouble.
People pleasers don’t just wait for their turn to talk, they will ask questions about you and your life and they won’t forget them as soon as you leave the room.
6. Because they are adaptable
The ability of a people pleaser to strike up a conversation with almost anyone gives them a significant advantage when put in a new, unfamiliar situation. They are great in foreign countries, unafraid to ask for directions or advice, and tend to learn how things are done in a new environment with remarkable ease.
7. Because they are knowledgeable
People pleasers often have a surprising amount of knowledge they have picked up through interacting with so many people. Talking and listening to people we meet is one of the most effective ways of learning new thoughts, ideas and perspectives on things.
People pleasers take a deep interest in what others have to say, and often have strong, multidimensional levels of wisdom.
8. Because they can keep their head in emergencies
When a tense, dangerous or emergency situation unfolds, people pleasers are usually very helpful and pragmatic. People pleasers have learned over time to avoid getting angry or acting abrasively and so tend to be less emotionally-driven and more level-headed when situations are tense.
People pleasers help to foster a calm atmosphere, helping people to act swiftly and sensibly during an emergency, and helping to diffuse tensions in a confrontational scenario.
9. Because they are fun to be around
People pleasers often know a lot of people and tend to have active social lives. They always have something going on and are rarely inert. Having a people pleaser as a friend will mean that you will never be left bored.
They also tend to be funny and will want to make you laugh.
10. Because they want you to be happy!
This is perhaps the most gratifying personality trait of a people pleaser; they want you to be happy.
People pleasers have an innate desire to make people around them smile and laugh, and this is one of the most altruistic and endearing traits a person can possess.
If you are down or upset, they will try to help you and make you feel better, and if you’re feeling good, they will make you feel brilliant. Whether it’s a thoughful gesture or a much needed compliment, people pleasers will work their hardest to make sure everyone is happy and getting along nicely.
Featured photo credit: Outdoor lifestyle portrait of two best friends hipsters making photo on their vintage camera, having fun together, joy and happiness, wearing trendy bright clothes and sunglasses. via shutterstock.com