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10 Reasons Why Being A People Pleaser Is Not Always A Bad Thing

10 Reasons Why Being A People Pleaser Is Not Always A Bad Thing

People pleasers often get a bad reputation for being manipulative, overbearing, or nosy. But are people too harsh to people pleasers? And where does this harshness come from?

Often, resentment towards people pleasers comes from an element of distrust; people worry that people are only nice to one another to curry favor with them, or because they are spineless and just don’t want to ruffle any feathers.

But people pleasers are often misjudged and are not looking to manipulate, suck up or get people to like them. They are just merely trying to please people. Here are ten often overlooked reasons that being a people pleaser can be a good thing.

1. Because they are great at resolving conflicts

Because people pleasers want everyone to be happy, they are very good at finding ways to minimize friction within a social circle. Their knowledge of what makes people happy gives them a strong talent for resolving conflicts.

They know what everyone’s individual needs are, and how these may conflict with the needs of another, they can then parley this into a peaceful resolution that satisfies all parties involved.

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2. Because they are great at making social connections

People pleasers are often very likeable, and very good at making small talk. They tend to be very sociable, outgoing people, and this level of confidence and friendliness means that people will naturally gravitate towards them.

This level of approachability gives them a broad social circle and support network.

This can be used to put people in touch with one another. If you are looking for a job or a place to live, people pleasers are often the best people to contact, as they know so many people, and can provide a great social medium between the two parties.

3. Because they tend to do well in their careers

Often people think that agreeable people succeed in their careers by ‘sucking up’ to their superiors.

The opposite is actually true; people who suck up tend to lack assertiveness and are often passed over for promotion by their superiors based on this. People pleasers tend to do well because they will go the extra mile to make friends and forge lasting social and work-based relationships with colleagues.

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This not only gives them a broad network of people they can work with, but also allows them to streamline efficiency by putting the right people in touch with one another in order to get jobs done with efficiency.

4. Because they have attractive personalities

Their ability to find common ground with almost anyone gives them a highly approachable, friendly and confident demeanor.

Whilst others may go about trying to bolster their attractiveness through showy acts of machismo or obsessing about their appearance, people pleasers simply try to connect with others around them and genuinely pay attention to what they have to say.

This circumvents the need to put on a show. It reveals confidence and intelligence, which is often considered extremely attractive.

5. Because they are great listeners

People pleasers will often take a genuine and vested interest in the lives of others. Sometimes, people can find this personality trait nosy or pushy, but people pleasers are among the few people who will show a genuine interest in what you are doing and will be the first to offer their assistance if you are in any trouble.

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People pleasers don’t just wait for their turn to talk, they will ask questions about you and your life and they won’t forget them as soon as you leave the room.

6. Because they are adaptable

The ability of a people pleaser to strike up a conversation with almost anyone gives them a significant advantage when put in a new, unfamiliar situation. They are great in foreign countries, unafraid to ask for directions or advice, and tend to learn how things are done in a new environment with remarkable ease.

7. Because they are knowledgeable

People pleasers often have a surprising amount of knowledge they have picked up through interacting with so many people. Talking and listening to people we meet is one of the most effective ways of learning new thoughts, ideas and perspectives on things.

People pleasers take a deep interest in what others have to say, and often have strong, multidimensional levels of wisdom.

8. Because they can keep their head in emergencies

When a tense, dangerous or emergency situation unfolds, people pleasers are usually very helpful and pragmatic. People pleasers have learned over time to avoid getting angry or acting abrasively and so tend to be less emotionally-driven and more level-headed when situations are tense.

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People pleasers help to foster a calm atmosphere, helping people to act swiftly and sensibly during an emergency, and helping to diffuse tensions in a confrontational scenario.

9. Because they are fun to be around

People pleasers often know a lot of people and tend to have active social lives. They always have something going on and are rarely inert. Having a people pleaser as a friend will mean that you will never be left bored.

They also tend to be funny and will want to make you laugh.

10. Because they want you to be happy!

This is perhaps the most gratifying personality trait of a people pleaser; they want you to be happy.

People pleasers have an innate desire to make people around them smile and laugh, and this is one of the most altruistic and endearing traits a person can possess.

If you are down or upset, they will try to help you and make you feel better, and if you’re feeling good, they will make you feel brilliant. Whether it’s a thoughful gesture or a much needed compliment, people pleasers will work their hardest to make sure everyone is happy and getting along nicely.

Featured photo credit: Outdoor lifestyle portrait of two best friends hipsters making photo on their vintage camera, having fun together, joy and happiness, wearing trendy bright clothes and sunglasses. via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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