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10 Lies To Stop Telling Yourself About Making Changes in Life

10 Lies To Stop Telling Yourself About Making Changes in Life

Making changes in life is something people often make excuses for. However, letting those excuses prevent you from making important changes can impact you in negative ways. It’s time to uncross those fingers behind your back and be honest with yourself. Here are 10 common lies to stop telling yourself, and what you can do instead.

1. I’m not him/her

People tend to compare themselves to others who have already made the change they are contemplating. This can affect the way you perceive yourself and your outcome. It also won’t help you to achieve your goal. Rather, try to think of who you are comparing yourself to as proof that it can be done. Have the “If they can do it, so can I” mentality.

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2. I’m comfortable with what I have or where I am in life

That’s great, but don’t let this prevent you from making a life change. If you were comfortable in this stage of life, then you can be comfortable in the next. Instead, try to think, “I’m comfortable here, so let me push myself to be comfortable doing something else.” This will also allow you to expand your horizons.

3. I can do it later

Procrastination is the killer of ambition. It’s that simple. This lie can affect you by allowing you to put it off over and over again. Whenever you start to use this excuse think, “I can do it now!” Why not get it done now and move on to the next thing life will surely throw at you?

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4. I don’t know how

This statement is true about almost everything in life. At some point you had to learn. Consider driving; when you were younger you didn’t know how to drive. Then when you were old enough, you had to be taught the rules and how to drive a car. Now, you probably can’t imagine not knowing how to drive. Use this as inspiration and think, “I can learn how.”

5. It’s not that important

This is a huge lie! This is your life, and a potentially big change for your life–of course it’s important! It might just be one of the most important changes in your life, but you won’t know if you don’t do it. Anything and everything that has to do with you is a priority. Think, “It’s my life, and it’s important.” This couldn’t be more true.

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6. I’m afraid to fail

Failure is scary. Everyone is afraid to fail, and this is normal. This affects you by leading you to believe you will not succeed. You are giving this change a negative stigma before you even make the change. Instead, think, “What if I succeed?” Putting a positive light on the situation will help you to conquer the change.

7. I don’t want to get hurt

This one usually involves relationships. It’s hard to start something new when you are holding back. You could feel this way because of something that happened in your past, or something you witnessed someone close to you go through. This lie could potentially prevent you from developing a great relationship. Try to let the past be the past, and give it a chance–it could be well worth it. Think, “I won’t know if I don’t try.”

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8. I won’t be in control

Having control of a situation is really important to some people. Losing their control of a situation could be frightening. If you are one of those individuals, then this could be holding you back. If you don’t have control then someone else does, and you should try to trust them. If you trust them and know that they have your best interests at heart, then there is no reason why anything bad should happen. In a sense, you have decided they have the control, and that should ease your mind. Think, “I trust them.”

9. I don’t like change

This might be the biggest lie that is holding you back. This affects you by not allowing you to grow or develop by exploring new things. Change can be scary and not everyone enjoys it, but it is a part of growing and maturing. We can’t stay the same forever. Think, “Change is good.” It can open you to a world of new experiences and opportunities

10. I don’t have the time

If you let it, this lie could prevent you from ever making the change, or taking the chance. It affects you by allowing you to put it off. If you don’t have time now, then when will you? Instead, think, “This is important, and I need to make time for it.” Sometimes you just need to change the way you think about something. Noting that the change is important and you need to make time for it, will encourage you to actually do it.

Featured photo credit: Girl Enjoying View in Adrspach Rocks via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on April 11, 2019

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

How Communication Skills Help Your Success

Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

Create a Positive Experience

Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

Help Leadership Skills

It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

Build Better Teams

Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

1. Listen

Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

Here is a good way to think about it:

Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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3. Minimize

I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

4. Over Communicate

So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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5. Body Language

The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

Conclusion

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

Now go communicate your way to success.

More Resources About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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