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Last Updated on January 18, 2021

Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. There’s No Such Thing Called Failure.

Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. There’s No Such Thing Called Failure.

Picture this: Remember that time you asked that hot girl out, and your cool, loaded friend got the catch instead? Or how about that dark day where you were sure that your project was going to win an award, and that hated colleague walked off with the trophy?

Sounds familiar, right? We’ve all been in various situations in life where we have bitten the dust and failure has loomed large and threatening in front of us. All we have to remember, in situations like these, is that success in never ending and failure is never final.

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Every cloud comes with a silver lining

Clichéd, but true, isn’t it? Think of any dark situation that you have endured in life, and you’ll find that there’s a hidden good behind every bad that happens. You really wanted to go to that dream college of yours, and get that degree that seemed to you like a goose that lays golden eggs. Unfortunately, you didn’t make it and that dream college rejected you. To the ones who got in, you were a failure.

Perhaps your folks also lost a bit of their faith in you. But was it really a failure, or just yet another crossroads that led you to a better calling that you now actually enjoy and are happy with? Frankly, we may not like it, but failure sometimes is nothing more than a stepping stone to a path that leads to our dreams. Sometimes there’s a grander plan in store of us, and that so-called failure needs to be taken in stride, learnt from and then stored for future use. What people think of you is immaterial.

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I have not failed

“I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”.

These were the famous words uttered by Thomas A Edison, when he finally made a light bulb, after “failing” to do so 10,000 times. Imagine 10,000 failures! Had he given up after five attempts or 10 or a 100 – we still may not have had the light bulb.

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So what you need to remember, what we all need to remember, is to stay positive even when faced with rejection, failure, or any other society-dictated rebuff.[1] Failing at something doesn’t mean that we cannot achieve success ahead – it means that more work needs to be done, more attempts need to be made.

Famous authors have been rejected and bluntly refused by many equally famous publishers – those authors persevered. They wrote and wrote some more, sent off their manuscripts to one, two, 20 agents and finally they succeeded. Isn’t that what success is, failure that simply never gives up?

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Giving up is the only sure way to fail

You’ll often hear successful people say that it’s better than to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. Remember that they are very often speaking from the heart – there’s no success without a list of failures behind it. When you try your hand at something for the first time, you’re not likely to succeed at it. Remember the first time you played ball? Or tried your hand at skating? Or decided to learn to play the guitar? Chances are that you sucked at it.

It’s like when a child is learning to ride a bike. Does he give up the very first time he falls? Sometimes he gets hurt. Other times, the older kids snigger at his wobbly attempts. He cries, he gets into a snit and sometimes even exclaims that he will never get on that bike again. And when the sun brings in a new day, you see him get on and pedal madly, till he’s finally done it.

Life’s like that – you fail only when you give up. Try, try again. And even then if you don’t make it, try some more! There’s simply no such thing as failure – not achieving something means you learn, and then try it all over again till you finally do.

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Rima Pundir

Health, Wellness & Productivity Writer

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem and a Lack of Confidence

10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem and a Lack of Confidence

Self-confidence can be defined as a belief in one’s abilities and maintaining a sense of competence. On the other hand, low self-confidence can be defined as a lack of faith in one’s abilities and competence.

Self-confidence can fuel success, while low self-esteem can impede it. To avoid falling into patterns of low self-esteem and a lack of confidence, consult the following warning signs.

1. Checking Your Phone While Alone in Social Situations

You find yourself unable to sit still during social situations with little or no friends. Instead, you find yourself desperately checking your phone to appear more socially connected.

Tip: Try exercising an affirmation such as “I am loved.”

2. Backing Down During a Disagreement to Appease Another Person

You find yourself backing down in conversation often; you negotiate your views so as to avoid conflict. You would rather avoid experiencing rocky waters than express yourself honestly.

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Tip: Try an affirmation such as “my opinion matters” or “I live authentically.”

3. Unable to Leave the House Without Make-Up or Primping

You gain a false sense of self-esteem from wearing make-up or primping. Instead of feeling self-esteem from within, you feel a need to primp in order to feel good about yourself.

Tip: Try a daily “I am beautiful” affirmation.

4. Taking Constructive Criticism Too Personally

You tear up in the bathroom after a coworker gives you constructive criticism about your job performance; you wind up yelling at friends when they criticize your choice in a date. Instead of taking criticism objectively, you react emotionally.

Tip: Try counting to 3 before responding to criticism.

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5. Afraid to Contribute Your Opinion in Conversation

You find yourself second guessing what you want to say before you say it, instead of diving into conversation without a thought. You may find yourself stuttering and engaging in negative self-talk.

Tip: Focus on your breath when you begin to second guess yourself to avoid over-thinking.

6. Being Indecisive in the Midst of Simple Decisions

You change your mind after coming to a simple decision, such as what activity to do with a friend or what food to eat. Then once you come to another decision, you change your mind over and over.

Tip: Vocalize the affirmation “I am assertive and in control of my life.”

7. Cannot Handle Genuine Compliments

You reflect when someone pays you a genuine compliment, instead of graciously accepting the compliment.

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Tip: Practice the affirmation “I am worthy of love” or “I have many good qualities.”

8. Giving up Too Soon

You give up on your goals and dreams before you have hardly started. You lack confidence in your success, so you give up all together.

Tip: Practice the affirmation “I am a success seeker, not a failure avoider.”

9. Comparing Yourself With Others

You pay extra attention to those you deem more successful than you, and let your own self-worth take a plummet as a result. Instead of focusing on your journey and your journey only, you constantly look at everyone else’s.

Tip: Declare the affirmation “I am more than enough.”

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10. Slouching

You display a low body stance: you do not stand tall, but instead let your body slouch downwards, sending the message that you are not proud of yourself.

Tip: Take a few minutes each day to focus on your body posture. Take a look at these 10 Graphs That Help You Improve Posture In No Time.

More Tips to Boost Your Confidence

Featured photo credit: Sharon McCutcheon via unsplash.com

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