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Last Updated on November 27, 2020

How to Get Out of a Funk When You’re Stressed Out

How to Get Out of a Funk When You’re Stressed Out

Life seems like it’s getting more and more stressful. Natural disasters, pandemics, and political events can really bring us down, to say nothing of all those day-to-day stressors like long to-do lists and cloudy weather.

We might feel as if we are “supposed” to feel happy or as if feeling sad or anxious means something is wrong with us. The reality is, every single person on the face of the earth knows what it feels like to be in a funk. From actors and comedians to bestselling authors, CEOs, and meditating monks, we all know what it is like to feel sad, stressed out, overwhelmed, and emotionally stuck and have no idea how to get out of a funk.

Right now, more than any other time in history, we need to be there for each other. If you are in a funk, it can be helpful to remember that there are lots of people, even people you have not yet met, who deeply care about your well-being and want nothing more than to know that you are okay.

The 3 Zones of Emotional Life

Pema Chödrön, the meditation guru and best-selling author, teaches that we experience three emotional zones throughout life.

Zone #1 Comfort

The first one is the comfort zone. This is the zone we all want to be in, but that isn’t necessarily what is in our best interest. In this zone, we experience a sense of security and pleasure, but little emotional growth happens. It’s like being on vacation rather than in real life.

Zone #2 Growth

The second zone is one of emotional challenge. Because most of us haven’t trained in how to hold space for challenging emotions, we often want to resist or avoid this zone and head back to the comfort zone.

The more we resist our uncomfortable emotions, the greater the chance is that we will feel stuck in them, rather than the exhilaration that can come from learning and growing.

Zone #3 Trauma

The third zone is one of trauma. We enter the trauma zone when our well-being gets jeopardized in some way. Perhaps there is a traumatic event affecting us, or our stress levels have reached a level that feels overwhelming. Our mind may seem as if it is on a hamster wheel, and our thoughts may be making things worse.

We may also enter the trauma zone when we are triggered, perhaps without even realizing it, and re-experiencing emotions from a traumatic event that happened long ago. Whenever we are in this zone, it is extremely important to reach out and get support.

Regardless of which zone you are in right now, here are some ideas on how to get out of a funk and support ourselves.

17 Ways to Get Emotionally Unstuck

1. Reach Out

If your emotions are too big to handle on your own or you think you may be in the trauma zone, it is very important to reach out for help. Especially during these challenging times, we need to check in with each other, be available for a chat, and be willing to reach out.

Reaching out for help can take different forms. We might call a trusted friend or family member,  physician, therapist, coach, or help lines like suicide or mental wellness hotline.

Asking for help is a sign of true inner strength. As humans, we were made to collaborate, brainstorm, and invent in the community. When we talk to others about our problems, we usually see solutions and answers and gain insights we never could have discovered on our own.

2. Talk to Yourself (Lovingly)

Another helpful tip is to pay attention to that little voice in our heads, making meaning out of what we experience. What stories are you telling yourself about what is happening in your life? Are you putting a positive or negative spin on what you are experiencing? Is there another way to look at things?

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It can be very helpful to have someone who is willing to stay with us through difficult emotions without trying to change or fix us in any way. Whether or not we have someone like that in our lives, it is essential to learn how to be that type of person for ourselves.

Sometimes we feel like we are in a funk because we believe the negative stories about something that may or may not be true. Could there be a reason to hope right now instead of feeling discouraged? Could something good come out of what is happening, even if it is your own personal growth? What is the silver lining?

We can learn a lot by paying attention to our self-talk. What would the perfect coach, parent, or friend who loved you unconditionally and believed that you were inherently good, innately wise, and perfectly okay no matter what say to you right now?

How about something like:

“You’ve got this.”

“You can get through this.”

“You are so wonderful and resilient.”

“Just focus on the present and be here right now.”

The more we can connect with that loving voice that truly believes that we are perfectly loveable just the way we are, the more confidence we will have when facing tough times.

3. Change Your Speed

Our bodies and minds are so connected. Sometimes, when we are feeling anxious, we move quickly but don’t really accomplish much. If this is happening to you, try moving slower. Sit down. Rest. Go outside and lay on the ground. Take a few nice, long, slow breaths.

Remember to connect with your loving inner voice and say, “You are doing great. Whatever you are feeling is completely okay. You are going to get through this.”

Similarly, when we are depressed or in a funk, it can help to move more quickly. Take a brisk walk, even if it’s just around your house. Play an upbeat song you love and dance, even if it feels silly at first. Do a few jumping jacks. Twirl in a circle.

If you are feeling angry, find creative ways to get any negative energy out of your body in a way that is safe for you and others. Find a stick and beat an empty box or a pile of pillows. Go for a sprint in an open field. Punch a punching bag. Jump up and down. Scream. Talk about it. Do whatever you can to get grounded and start to feel safe again.

4. Go Outside

Research has shown that being in nature directly improves our emotions. Head outside and pay attention to the small details around you. Finding something good in the present to fully enjoy and appreciate can help so much. Sit in the sun and feel it on your face. Treat yourself to a blast of vitamin D. Breathe in the fresh air deeply.

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Notice what you are experiencing with all five senses. What do you see? Hear? Feel? Smell? Taste? How about your intuition? There are so many gifts in the outdoors waiting to be discovered. What do you notice in this moment? Can you find anything beautiful or that you appreciate while you are outdoors?

5. Eat Healthy Foods

Sometimes we fill up with empty calories, sugar, or caffeine that causes an emotional and energetic crash later, especially when you are feeling difficult emotions or feeling exhausted.

Try eating small, healthy snacks that are high in protein, like nuts, meat, nut butter, or something filled with antioxidants like organic fruits and vegetables frequently.

If you are craving sugar, reach for fruit. We often forget how delicious, sweet, and satisfying fruits can be. As you put good food into your body, try to bring your full attention to how it tastes and what it feels like to fully receive the gift of healthy food.

6. Drink Water

When we feel overly anxious or depressed, we might find we have forgotten to care for ourselves and give ourselves the basic things we need, like sleep, food, and water.

Being perpetually dehydrated can lead to other health problems, prevent us from feeling our best, and cause us to feel emotionally and physically stuck in a funk.

Challenge yourself to drink a certain amount of water every day. You might want to start slow, increasing eight ounces a day until you get to 64 to 80 ounces. Try to really enjoy the water as you are drinking and imagine it hydrating, cleansing, and refreshing all of your cells and your frame of mind.

7. Scan Your Body

Sometimes, our moods drop because of physical rather than emotional reasons. Set a timer for three minutes and scan your body, bringing your awareness to whatever you are experiencing with kindness and compassion.

Rather than trying to change anything, just gently send yourself love and acceptance as you slow down your breath and bring your attention to your body. Notice whatever you are feeling with gentleness and awareness, knowing it is all okay.

You might want to stretch, rub your neck, hands, or feet or hug yourself. Or, simply rest.

8. Help Someone Else

One gift that comes as a result of feeling difficult emotions is that we know what it feels like to need support, and so we have a greater ability to be present with others and offer real empathy and compassion.

How can you be of service to others? You might listen to a friend’s sharing or struggles from a place of deep understanding or maybe do a simple task that will really make a difference. You could also drop off food to someone living alone, buy flowers or run an errand for another person, volunteer at a local charity, or offer to help a friend with a carpool and childcare.

Furthermore, perhaps you could be extra friendly with the people you meet. It’s amazing how a friendly smile, eye contact, and a kind heart can shift our whole outlook and realize how much we really matter, even if it’s from a stranger. You can be that person for someone else.

9. Tell Someone “Thank You”

When we are depressed or in a funk, we are very focused on ourselves. When we find ourselves feeling grateful for something that another person has done for us, our brain shifts from a negative groove to a more positive one.

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We step out of our own experience a bit and see a bigger picture. This can set off a flow of endorphins and positive chemicals in our bodies that help us feel better.

Saying “thank you” can take the form of a letter of appreciation, quick email, text or voice message, or just a smile and a word of thanks to a complete stranger for something like bagging our groceries. (Sometimes, the thank you letter we most need to write is to ourselves!)

10. Make a Gratitude List

Another form gratitude can take is making a daily list of things for which we are grateful. Share what you are thankful for with a friend or post photos on social media with the hashtag #grateful.

If you find this difficult to do, think of the love of a pet or a favorite flower or the feeling of the sunset or the ground under your feet. Better yet, spend some time with that pet or appreciate that flower or sunset in real time if possible. Or, take a moment and remember what that might feel like.

You might make a list of the good things in your life and remind yourself about them over and over again. Put them on post-it notes or decorate your refrigerator, computer monitor, or bathroom mirror with your gratitudes.

11. Let Yourself Feel

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is to really give in to the emotion. If you feel sad, let yourself cry. Tears can be very cleansing. Sometimes we feel stuck because we are afraid to feel a specific emotion. However, really feeling and moving through a feeling will get us to the other side.

If you feel anxious or fearful, notice where that feeling is in your body. Breathe into the feeling without trying to change it or chase it away. (If it doesn’t feel safe to do this, or you feel too fearful, trust your instincts. Simply reach out by calling a helpline or contacting a professional like a physician, therapist, spiritual teacher, or coach to help you feel your emotions safely.)

The more we are able to accept our emotions and really feel them, the more we also learn to accept all of ourselves, just as we are.

12. Write About It

Write in a journal or notebook about what you are feeling, thinking, and what is real for you in this moment. Imagine describing how you are feeling right now to a completely loving parent or friend who wants the very best for you and will not judge you in any way.

You might also audio-record yourself talking about what you are feeling and thinking. Then, listen to it with real compassion. Pretend you are a loving friend who loves everything about you, even the tough stuff. Relief comes when we can be a loving witness.

What do you notice? Do you have any new insights or words of wisdom? You can delete the audio-file when you are done. As you do, imagine letting your stories about your experience go so the only thing left is the present moment.

13. Get in “Flow”

Try to get yourself in that magical state of flow where you lose track of time and space and are just doing what you are doing, just for the fun of it. Take time to play.

You might want to sketch, color, or paint. Take some photos. Play an instrument. Write a haiku. Create a collage. Paint. Get out crayons or magic markers.

Set a timer for three minutes and doodle. The end product doesn’t matter. Just let yourself feel the joy of being in flow.

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14. Listen to Upbeat Music

Music has a way of directing our moods. Choose music you really like and listen to it or have it playing in the background as you work.

Try humming along. If you can, try blasting music and making your house your personal dance floor. If you are driving, play the radio and sing at the top of your lungs.

15. Accomplish Something Small

Sometimes, our stuck feeling is a message from our intuition, telling us that we need to do something different or are ignoring an important task. What is one thing that you really need at this moment?

Maybe it’s drinking water or going for a short walk. Perhaps it’s doing that one small thing you’ve been procrastinating. Ask yourself what you really, really need in this moment, the way a friend would.

Take a moment right now to do that thing that is in your best interest. After it is completed, ask yourself again. It’s amazing how we can tend to ourselves one step at a time.

16. Clean Something

There is something very energizing, invigorating, and symbolically powerful about clearing, cleaning, and letting go. Clean out your refrigerator or junk drawer. Throw away 20 things. Wash a window or mirror. Keep it small and doable. When you finish, cheer!

17. Smile and Breathe Deeply

Tell yourself you are lovable, wonderful, and perfect just as you are. At the end of the day, the greatest cure for any emotion that feels too big to handle is love. Send love to yourself and tell yourself that no matter what, whatever you are feeling is perfectly okay, and so are you, just as you are.

Final Thoughts

The most important thing to remember about being in a funk is that you are not alone. We all experience difficult emotions. Accepting them and letting go of our expectations about how we are supposed to feel is the key to emotions shifting instead of staying stuck.

The next most important thing is to reach out. Get support. Imagine connecting with others all over the world right now that would want you to be safe and well if they knew you were struggling. Remember everyone who, at this very moment, is experiencing a funk, too. We always have more support than we know.

Lastly, it’s important to remember that we are each far wiser, more resilient, and more capable than we realize. You are completely capable of growing, expanding, and connecting with the inner peace, compassion, and goodness that is who you really are. You’ve got this!

More Support

I am sending you lots of light and love. Here are some more articles and resources about navigating difficult emotions and finding peace even in the face of tough times.

Tips for Overcoming Tough Times

Emergency Resources

Featured photo credit: Kinga Cichewicz via unsplash.com

More by this author

Laurie Smith

Inspirational Writer. Coach. Healer.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

Why You’re Not Interested in Anything And Have No Motivation

Why You’re Not Interested in Anything And Have No Motivation

Let’s clarify something before we move forward: This article is in no way meant to cure, treat, or diagnose depression. Actually, this article isn’t even about depression. Depression is the result of a combination of unique events and genetic, psychological, and environmental predispositions.[1] When you’re depressed, you lose all hope for the future, always have no energy, consistently feel sad without knowing why, and are not interested in anything. If you feel like you might be suffering from this illness, you need to seek psychiatric help as soon as possible.

Nevertheless, what we’re talking about here focuses on something similar to yet entirely different from depression: lack of motivation or interest.

The purpose of this article is to help you figure out some practical solutions for getting back that zest for life and motivate yourself to find and do things that interest you.

If you’re not interested in anything and have little to no motivation, this article will help you.

Let’s dive in to the reasons why you feel unmotivated and uninterested.

1. You’re Stuck in a Rut

You wake up, work, eat, and go to sleep… Wake up, work, eat, and go to sleep… Wake up, work, eat, and go to sleep.

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Multiply those activities enough times, throw in some mindless web-surfing and YouTube-bingeing, and congratulations — you’ve got yourself in the middle of a bonafide rut.

Being stuck in a rut is like getting stranded in the middle of nowhere with nothing but saltine crackers and water. It feels as if you have no choice but to eat the same bland, flavorless food every day. You do it because you have to, not because you want to.

Lucky for you; you can get yourself out of that rut and reignite your interests by trying a couple of solutions.

Solutions:

  • Get out of your comfort zone by injecting new and challenging activities into your life.
  • Do more things you’re scared of.

Check out this article for more ideas on how to get out of a rut: Stuck in a Rut? 5 Ways to Get Out and Move Forward.

2. You’re Not Playing to Your Strengths

One of the reasons why you are probably not interested in anything right now is that your daily activities aren’t tailored around your strengths. In other words, you’re not doing things you’re great at.

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To find your strengths, try my GPS Formula by asking yourself:[2]

  1. What am I GREAT at?
  2. What am I PASSIONATE about?
  3. How can I combine the two mentioned above in SERVICE to others?

The convergence of your answers is the key to finding your strengths.

Solutions:

  • Conduct the GPS Formula exercise described above.
  • Experiment with new ideas and potential hobbies.
  • Consider starting a side-hustle like an online business based around something you’re great at.

3. Your Subconscious Beliefs Hold You Back

Sometimes, we hold back and prevent ourselves from embracing exciting changes because we’re afraid of failure. Maybe you’d like to try picking up a new skill or sport, but you make up reasons for why you’re not interested in learning more. You tell yourself you’re not interested… But is that really true?

Do you lack interest or courage?

Often, a lack of the latter keeps us from exploring more of the former.

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Solutions: 

  • Challenge yourself to try more activities to see if they might peak your interest, even though you think you might fail.
  • Think of them as trial runs or tests, if you will, to help you determine whether they’re worth pursuing.

4. You’re Not Aiming High Enough

Regardless of what we seek to accomplish in life, it’s how much we desire to achieve our goals that end up becoming crucial to fulfilling them. Unfortunately, too many people try to set limits on their desire and tell themselves and others that they don’t need incredible success.

However, this kind of thinking is dangerous. When we limit the scope of our desire, we put a cap on what we’re willing to do to reach our goals and succeed in life. When that happens, we limit the scope of our motivation and interest on any given activity and a general sense of fulfillment.

A lack of exciting and desirable goals easily lowers your motivation and makes you feel like you’re not interested in anything.

The solution to this problem is what’s known as The 10X Rule,[3] which states that: You must set targets that are 10 times what you think you want and then do 10 times what you think it will take to accomplish those targets.

While some folks will tell you that setting impossible goals kills motivation and that it’s better to “underpromise and overdeliver,” this line of thinking is foolish. 10X-targets (commonly called stretch goals) will only spur you on harder to do more and try more than you ever have done before.[4] Besides, even if we fall short of achieving our 10X-level aims and ambitions, it is still better to fall short of achieving a massive target than merely achieving a tiny one. If you aim high enough, you’ll demand more from yourself and become better in pursuit of a massive goal.

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Nonetheless, setting a high target is only the first step. The next step is to take ten times the amount of action you think is necessary to reach that target.

Solutions:

  • When we have small, uninspiring goals, we tend to feel lethargic and unmotivated to achieve them. On the flip side, when we have vast and ambitious goals, we feel empowered and invigorated to take action towards achieving them.[5] Bottom line? Set massive goals and take massive action.
  • Push yourself to your outermost limits. The more action you take, the more motivated and interested you become to work towards your goals further.

Time to Spark!

Try the methods described above, and you’ll be well on your way to reigniting the interest and motivation you need to lead a fulfilling life.

More on Overcoming Lack of Motivation and Interest

Featured photo credit: Joshua Rawson-Harris via unsplash.com

Reference

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