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Last Updated on November 27, 2020

How To Make Yourself Happy Today And Every Day

How To Make Yourself Happy Today And Every Day

Make yourself happy and do it with no regrets. Happiness is a gift from life that you should protect daily. Doing this will help you see more of the pleasant things in life even in the face of the toughest of challenges.

Life is a journey full of ups and downs, and everyone will have a share of joys, sadness, disappointment, and other kinds of feelings associated with living. Moreover, each encounter can help you discover how to make yourself happy.

The secret to navigating through life’s challenges is by remaining happy intentionally and always wearing a smile because sadness does not help solve any problems. It only makes a person so miserable that they won’t be able to think up solutions to the issues being faced.

It is important to know ways to make yourself happy irrespective of the situation you are currently facing. James Oppenheim once wrote, “The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet.”

That said, it is no surprise that most of the things you can do to make yourself happy revolve around finding happiness in yourself and not from other people.

When you make your happiness dependent on someone else, you are very likely to get disappointed a lot. Likewise, when you attach your happiness to material things, you will never find happiness until you get that particular material thing you seek.

Here are 11 things you can do to make yourself happy.

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1. Only Say Nice Things to Yourself

Do you know that little voice in your head you have conversations with? You control it even though it feels like a different entity sometimes. You are happy when people say nice things, and it’s the same when you say nice things to yourself.

If you tell yourself that you are miserable, your brain will believe that and that will make you sad. In contrast, when you say nice things to yourself, your mind reads that as a compliment and that will raise your mood and make you happy.

So, to make yourself happy, it is very important to always say nice things to yourself even when you do something silly.

2. Understand That Life Is a Process

People sometimes put a lot of pressure on themselves by setting their goals alongside a certain age. You hear people say things like, “I should be earning six figures at the age of 27,” or “I should be married at 25” and similar things. If these things fail, they begin to hate themselves or feel ashamed of themselves.

This feeling is one of the significant causes of depression. People get depressed because they are unable to achieve unrealistic goals.

It is essential to accept the way you are at every point and keep working towards your goals. No time is too late to achieve anything you want to make yourself happy.

3. Do Not Compare Yourself to Others

This is a very vital tip on how to make yourself happy. Most people make the mistake of comparing where they are at a particular time with their school mates. And when they see them live what they perceive as a better life than them, they begin to hate themselves for that single reason.

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It is vital for people to always remember that every person runs a different race, and one person’s life shouldn’t be used as a yardstick to judge your progress in life.

Social Media, on its own, has increased the pressure people feel when they see their mates posting their success. You should learn to find happiness in the little things life has offered you, yourself, your family, and many other simple things.

4. Always Forgive Yourself

Some people beat themselves up for so long when they make a mistake or do something wrong. When you beat yourself up for too long for a mistake, you begin to hate yourself for the mistake you made, and you can never make yourself happy when you hate yourself.

The right thing to do when you make a mistake is to sit down and have a complete analysis of the whole issue. If you are wrong, admit your fault and ask yourself questions like, “how can I be better next time?” Then, forgive yourself with a promise that when faced with a similar situation, you will make the right choice. This is important to know if you are determined to know how to make yourself happy.

5. Avoid People Who Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

In life, certain people want to make you feel bad about yourself every single time. Sometimes, these are people we hold in high regard and have a lot of respect for. They can be family members, partners, friends, colleagues at the workplace, etc. These people see no good in people and are toxic to people around them.

Such people will only make you unhappy whenever you have close contact with them. Therefore, it is important to stay away from them if you want to be happy. If a person does not make you happy, then it will do you a lot of good if you stay away from them and find more positive people.

6. Prioritize Your Health

The numerous benefits of eating healthy by consuming less sugar and junk, eating more vegetables, exercising regularly, and taking supplements cannot be overemphasized. Apart from making you healthy, they make you look better, and looking better translates to you loving yourself more.

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Working on maintaining overall health is a form of self-love as that is going to benefit you both physically and mentally. However, when you slip up, you shouldn’t go hard on yourself. A good number of people get very angry at themselves when they eat what they are not supposed to eat or drink what they are not supposed to. It is okay to have that less healthy food your body craves as long as you don’t make it a habit.

7. Spend Money on Yourself

This is one very important part of how to make yourself happy that a lot of people skip. Some people don’t believe that there is a need to spoil themselves sometimes. They would instead get the best stuff for their partners, family members, and even friends, but when it comes to spending on themselves, it becomes a very difficult thing to do.

They would buy the cheapest clothes, shoes, and accessories for themselves even though they would instead want a much more expensive one.

If you can afford the best clothing, then buy them for yourself and make yourself happy. You should make it a part of you to always put yourself first. Try to spend money to get what you want regardless of the price today and see how happy it makes you feel.

8. Make the Places You Spend Most of Your Time in as Comfortable as Possible

As a human being, where you spend most of your time should be made to be very neat and furnished to your taste. This may sound unnecessary, but studies have shown that you sleep better in an elegant, beautiful room and comfortable bed than you will in an untidy room. Likewise, people tend to be more productive working in an orderly and neat office.

Aside from these benefits, being in a place that is as comfortable as you want it to be will give you happiness that will affect your total well-being. So, buy that comfortable bed that has been on your mind or that furniture or appliance you have always wanted to buy if want to be happy every day.

9. Take Out Time to Have Fun

In an ever-busy world, it is very possible to forget about fun and just be all about work. Irrespective of how much you earn from your work or how much you enjoy your job, the human brain is programmed to get weary when the same activity is performed day after day without taking time to wind off and breathe.

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Having fun now and then is very beneficial as it gives the brain the much-needed rest it deserves after a while of working, and it also improves your mood and makes you happier. So, take time away from work and go for vacations, the beach, or any other place of interest that will keep your mind away from work for the time being.

10. Always Have Three Square Meals Daily

Some people get so occupied with their work that they forget to eat sometimes, thereby making them skip a meal or, in the worst-case scenario, two meals. This is a habit a large number of people are guilty of today. This is a very unloving habit to do to yourself.

Don’t ever be so busy that you won’t have time to eat. However, the possibility of actually being so busy cannot be ignored, but a meal should not be skipped even if you end up eating something very light. It is better than nothing.

When you stop skipping meals, you will be surprised to see the effect that can have on your overall mood. That said, it is essential to eat every meal as it is essential in knowing how to be happy always.

11. Helping People Who Are in Need

Helping people who are in dire need also has a way of making you happy. It is essential to show love and care to the vulnerable members of society. This act of kindness has a way of making you feel fulfilled and happier after doing them.

Take a portion of your salary and give to the homeless, the sick, and other people who need help around you and watch how the joy you caused them through your gesture finds a way of coming back to you.

Final Thoughts

Learning a new thing is just a tiny part of the work. Applying what has been learned is where the real challenge lies, and that is where a lot of people falter.

Happiness is something every human should not be deprived of. A life without happiness is a tough one to live. These eleven tips have shown a couple of practices that can be applied to your everyday life to make yourself happy and help keep a smile on your face even when there is nothing much to smile about.

More Tips on How to Make Yourself Happy

Featured photo credit: Helena Lopes via unsplash.com

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Jacqueline T. Hill

Writing, Blogging, and Educating To Guide Others Into Happiness

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Last Updated on December 4, 2020

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

We all crave constructive feedback. We want to know not just what we’re doing well but also what we could be doing better.

However, giving and getting constructive feedback isn’t just some feel-good exercise. In the workplace, it’s part and parcel of how companies grow.

Let’s take a closer look.

Why Constructive Feedback Is Critical

A culture of feedback benefits individuals on a team and the team itself. Constructive feedback has the following effects:

Builds Workers’ Skills

Think about the last time you made a mistake. Did you come away from it feeling attacked—a key marker of destructive feedback—or did you feel like you learned something new?

Every time a team member learns something, they become more valuable to the business. The range of tasks they can tackle increases. Over time, they make fewer mistakes, require less supervision, and become more willing to ask for help.

Boosts Employee Loyalty

Constructive feedback is a two-way street. Employees want to receive it, but they also want the feedback they give to be taken seriously.

If employees see their constructive feedback ignored, they may take it to mean they aren’t a valued part of the team. Nine in ten employees say they’d be more likely to stick with a company that takes and acts on their feedback.[1]

Strengthens Team Bonds

Without trust, teams cannot function. Constructive feedback builds trust because it shows that the giver of the feedback cares about the success of the recipient.

However, for constructive feedback to work its magic, both sides have to assume good intentions. Those giving the feedback must genuinely want to help, and those getting it has to assume that the goal is to build them up rather than to tear them down.

Promotes Mentorship

There’s nothing wrong with a single round of constructive feedback. But when it really makes a difference is when it’s repeated—continuous, constructive feedback is the bread and butter of mentorship.

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Be the change you want to see on your team. Give constructive feedback often and authentically, and others will naturally start to see you as a mentor.

Clearly, constructive feedback is something most teams could use more of. But how do you actually give it?

How to Give Constructive Feedback

Giving constructive feedback is tricky. Get it wrong, and your message might fall on deaf ears. Get it really wrong, and you could sow distrust or create tension across the entire team.

Here are ways to give constructive feedback properly:

1. Listen First

Often, what you perceive as a mistake is a decision someone made for a good reason. Listening is the key to effective communication.

Seek to understand: how did the other person arrive at her choice or action?

You could say:

  • “Help me understand your thought process.”
  • “What led you to take that step?”
  • “What’s your perspective?”

2. Lead With a Compliment

In school, you might have heard it called the “sandwich method”: Before (and ideally, after) giving difficult feedback, share a compliment. That signals to the recipient that you value their work.

You could say:

  • “Great design. Can we see it with a different font?”
  • “Good thinking. What if we tried this?”

3. Address the Wider Team

Sometimes, constructive feedback is best given indirectly. If your comment could benefit others on the team, or if the person whom you’re really speaking to might take it the wrong way, try communicating your feedback in a group setting.

You could say:

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  • “Let’s think through this together.”
  • “I want everyone to see . . .”

4. Ask How You Can Help

When you’re on a team, you’re all in it together. When a mistake happens, you have to realize that everyone—not just the person who made it—has a role in fixing it. Give constructive feedback in a way that recognizes this dynamic.

You could say:

  • “What can I do to support you?”
  • “How can I make your life easier?
  • “Is there something I could do better?”

5. Give Examples

To be useful, constructive feedback needs to be concrete. Illustrate your advice by pointing to an ideal.

What should the end result look like? Who has the process down pat?

You could say:

  • “I wanted to show you . . .”
  • “This is what I’d like yours to look like.”
  • “This is a perfect example.”
  • “My ideal is . . .”

6. Be Empathetic

Even when there’s trust in a team, mistakes can be embarrassing. Lessons can be hard to swallow. Constructive feedback is more likely to be taken to heart when it’s accompanied by empathy.

You could say:

  • “I know it’s hard to hear.”
  • “I understand.”
  • “I’m sorry.”

7. Smile

Management consultancies like Credera teach that communication is a combination of the content, delivery, and presentation.[2] When giving constructive feedback, make sure your body language is as positive as your message. Your smile is one of your best tools for getting constructive feedback to connect.

8. Be Grateful

When you’re frustrated about a mistake, it can be tough to see the silver lining. But you don’t have to look that hard. Every constructive feedback session is a chance for the team to get better and grow closer.

You could say:

  • “I’m glad you brought this up.”
  • “We all learned an important lesson.”
  • “I love improving as a team.”

9. Avoid Accusations

Giving tough feedback without losing your cool is one of the toughest parts of working with others. Great leaders and project managers get upset at the mistake, not the person who made it.[3]

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You could say:

  • “We all make mistakes.”
  • “I know you did your best.”
  • “I don’t hold it against you.”

10. Take Responsibility

More often than not, mistakes are made because of miscommunications Recognize your own role in them.

Could you have been clearer in your directions? Did you set the other person up for success?

You could say:

  • “I should have . . .”
  • “Next time, I’ll . . .”

11. Time it Right

Constructive feedback shouldn’t catch people off guard. Don’t give it while everyone is packing up to leave work. Don’t interrupt a good lunch conversation.

If in doubt, ask the person to whom you’re giving feedback to schedule the session themselves. Encourage them to choose a time when they’ll be able to focus on the conversation rather than their next task.

12. Use Their Name

When you hear your name, your ears naturally perk up. Use that when giving constructive feedback. Just remember that constructive feedback should be personalized, not personal.

You could say:

  • “Bob, I wanted to chat through . . .”
  • “Does that make sense, Jesse?”

13. Suggest, Don’t Order

When you give constructive feedback, it’s important not to be adversarial. The very act of giving feedback recognizes that the person who made the mistake had a choice—and when the situation comes up again, they’ll be able to choose differently.

You could say:

  • “Next time, I suggest . . .”
  • “Try it this way.”
  • “Are you on board with that?”

14. Be Brief

Even when given empathetically, constructive feedback can be uncomfortable to receive. Get your message across, make sure there are no hard feelings, and move on.

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One exception? If the feedback isn’t understood, make clear that you have plenty of time for questions. Rushing through what’s clearly an open conversation is disrespectful and discouraging.

15. Follow Up

Not all lessons are learned immediately. After giving a member of your team constructive feedback, follow it up with an email. Make sure you’re just as respectful and helpful in your written feedback as you are on your verbal communication.

You could say:

  • “I wanted to recap . . .”
  • “Thanks for chatting with me about . . .”
  • “Did that make sense?”

16. Expect Improvement

Although you should always deliver constructive feedback in a supportive manner, you should also expect to see it implemented. If it’s a long-term issue, set milestones.

By what date would you like to see what sort of improvement? How will you measure that improvement?

You could say:

  • “I’d like to see you . . .”
  • “Let’s check back in after . . .”
  • “I’m expecting you to . . .”
  • “Let’s make a dent in that by . . .”

17. Give Second Chances

Giving feedback, no matter how constructive, is a waste of time if you don’t provide an opportunity to implement it. Don’t set up a “gotcha” moment, but do tap the recipient of your feedback next time a similar task comes up.

You could say:

  • “I know you’ll rock it next time.”
  • “I’d love to see you try again.”
  • “Let’s give it another go.”

Final Thoughts

Constructive feedback is not an easy nut to crack. If you don’t give it well, then maybe it’s time to get some. Never be afraid to ask.

More on Constructive Feedback

Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

Reference

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