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Published on October 9, 2019

7 Essential Success Tips to Achieve What You Want in Life

7 Essential Success Tips to Achieve What You Want in Life

Have you ever wondered what makes a person successful and why some achieve easier than others?

Over the years, I have followed numerous success tips to help me be and achieve the success that I craved. I thought I knew quite early what it took to be successful. But, the full realization came when I noticed that success is different for each of us. This is something that also changes as we grow and is about a lot more than just setting a goal.

As we become clear on our own definition of success, it changes how we view our lives. With this different insight, our goals can become more directive and our motivation and achievement levels increase.

The Business Dictionary says,[1]

“Success is the achievement of an action, completing an objective or reaching a goal.”

This is an interesting explanation, but it’s vague and it doesn’t really give you a true picture of what success is for you personally.

And if you move forward without this clarity, you could eventually achieve that objective or goal and feel anything but successful.

So, the first tip to becoming successful is to know what success means for you. When you have identified this, you will know what your objective or goal is and how to achieve it.

The second part to this is your mindset, because this also plays a key role. You have probably noticed that some people find it easier to reach their goals than you do. You are doing the same things, yet they achieve and you don’t. It can be frustrating and I get that. But frustration gets you nowhere and can in fact be the very thing that causes you to get in your own way. When you develop a success mindset, your thinking and emotions will support you. This means you will find it easier to achieve what you want.

Listed below you will find 7 secrets to developing a success mindset. Implementing these consistently will give you the greatest opportunity to achieve what you want in life.

1. Be Clear on Your Version of Success

Gaining clarity on this will affect your mindset positively. It is vital to being and feeling successful.

We all know on some level what success means to us. The thing is we normally know this on an unconscious level, and this can make it difficult to access our truth. This means we need to communicate with ourselves in a certain way to find those answers.

Find a quiet space and sit down with a journal and pen. Maybe even do some deep breathing or mediation to change your state.

When your mind feels still, ask yourself these questions and even write it down at the top of your page:

  • “What does success mean to me?”
  • “What does success look and feel like?”

And wait. Be patient and allow this to flow at it’s own pace.

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The answer may not come straight away and that is okay. Your own version of success is quite likely related to what is most important to you. It can be buried deep and this means it can take time to surface.

But once you have asked the question, you will eventually hear the response; sometimes when you least expect it.

2. Define an Irresistible Destination

This means “begin with the end in mind,” which is a quote by Stephen Covey — an incredibly successful educator, businessman, speaker and author of the best seller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

It’s essential for your success that you begin with the end in mind. Because when you can see your outcome, the steps to achieve it become clear.

You possibly know that already, but there is even more to this.

Writing beige goals is one of the biggest mistakes I see people make when identifying their outcome. What I mean by this is a goal that’s dry and uninteresting with no juice in it. Just a big black dot point on a white page, or spreadsheet.

What’s juicy about that?

When you define your destination, it must be irresistible; because when it is, you will feel absolutely drawn to it. Just like that first juicy mango of the season in your local market, you can smell it and have to taste it.

Your goal must be juicy and written as if you are experiencing the moment right now. See what you are achieving in your mind’s eye and create a clear picture.

Close your eyes and imagine what you will be seeing around you. Notice what you will hear and how it will feel to achieve it.

Step into the picture and experience it as if it’s happening right now.

Open your eyes and write down what you saw, heard and felt. Give a date you achieved it. Writing it in present tense is vital here.

We achieve what we want twice, first in our mind’s eye and secondly in our physical reality. As you read and visualize your goals regularly you will give yourself maximum opportunity to achieve them.

3. Maintain Alignment with Your Goals and Visions

You’ve possibly heard reference made to the importance of alignment. But like I did for a number of years, you’re not really sure what it means.

Alignment is key in achieving success and it’s about aligning your goals with what is important to you. This means your goals must run parallel with your values and your version of success.

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Your values are powerful core motivators and if you write goals out of alignment, then you can often get in your own way.

For instance, you may set a goal to grow your business and this means you will spend more time in your business than usual. Spending quality time with your family may be of utmost importance to you. But, working on this goal will mean you have less time with your family.

If you don’t bring this into alignment by adjusting the goal in some way, your energy will dilute from trying to do everything. Or you will miss your family and resent your business. In both of these instances, your low energy or resentment could cause you to miss your target.

Alignment is a crucial step that can’t be skipped. When you set your goals, spend some time exploring how they align with your values and what is important to you. And more importantly, notice where they don’t align.

Where you notice a misalignment, adjust your goal in some way. In the example above, this may mean adjusting the deadline. Or you could involve your family in the achievement of the goal, like a holiday away.

Take focused time to do an alignment check each time you set a goal. It is worth the time and energy invested for the positive outcomes achieved.

4. Massive Action Is Not Always the Most Effective Way for Success

Contrary to the popular belief that “massive action” brings success faster. I believe one of the key tips for success is our willingness to take aligned sustainable action instead.

Success is achieved by stepping out of your comfort zone, but not always by taking massive leaps. For some, this can feel overwhelming because of everything else they value in life.

So you either put it off or do it ineffectively.

For example, say you want to increase your client base by 10% and start networking. After your 6th networking event that fortnight you end up exhausted and annoyed, because you haven’t had time for anything else. Plus you haven’t found the extra clients you wanted. You’ve missed exercising and doing stuff with friends. Your energy became low after about the 4th event and this all affected how you showed up.

In this example, “massive” action didn’t work because your actions were not fully aligned with your values or even your goals.

You don’t have to do everything at once and achieve your goal at the same time. It’s the fastest way to burn out, which was the turning point in my own success journey. It’s unsustainable!

You will gain greater benefit by breaking your actions down into smaller chunks.

Identify which actions are most aligned with your goals and then prioritize them into smaller steps. This way, you can still align with your values and have time for what is important to you.

So in the example above, maybe identify which networking events you are most likely to find your ideal client and attend two to three each fortnight. As you take action in this way, it maintains your energy and allows you to show up effectively. And you may be pleasantly surprised to find that instead of slowing your achievement down, it actually speeds it up, while you do less.

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5. Reflect and Readjust Without Beating Yourself Up

Reflection is one of the most crucial success tips. Yet, it is one of the key components that is often forgotten in an effort to rush to the finishing line.

Two of the fundamental NLP principles of success are to have sensory awareness and behavioural flexibility.[2] This means for each action we take, we must maintain awareness of whether it worked. And then be prepared to change what we do as much as it takes to achieve the outcome we want. Reflection helps you do this well.

However, fear of failure or fear of missing out leads people to omit this all-important process. In rushing to the next thing, we can often miss that one essential tweak that can make the difference.

It’s crazy to keep going blindly full steam ahead without pausing for a progress check. After all, we wouldn’t even dream of taking a right turn without first looking in our rear view mirror. Just a quick look enables us to see if we need to make a speed adjustment or take the next turn instead.

It’s also important to be kind to yourself when you reflect. Beating yourself up does no good at all. In fact, it lowers your motivation and makes it difficult for you to work to your full potential. This is the space of blame and self judgment.It keeps you stuck, and unable to see the changes you could make.

Reflection needs to be done from a place of non-judgment, where you give yourself positive and constructive feedback at regular intervals. Depending on the activity that could be weekly, monthly or quarterly.

There is always something you have achieved; acknowledge yourself for that. Look for lessons and things you can change.

When you reflect in this way frequently, you can save massive amounts of time and achieve things faster. This crucial step will also assist you to retain an empowered mindset and stay motivated to achieve what you want.

6. Persistence and Determination Are Key Requirements

Your attitude is a key player in your success levels.

If you give up easily, then you will find it increasingly difficult to achieve the life you want. But developing a persistent can do attitude will give you a boost to eventually find your way through to the finishing line.

This isn’t about doing everything or persisting at something for too long that isn’t working. Persistence and determination means being like a dog with a bone. You keep chewing away at it, adjusting your chewing technique until your outcome is accomplished.

True success takes time and requires a certain type of attitude. If you see someone achieve success overnight, they are normally the exception to the rule. It takes learning and practice, and can sometimes take years.

Think about how a farmer reaps his crop. These amazing people live a life that is not for the faint hearted, yet they still keep going. It takes a whole year of seasons to enjoy the benefits of their hard work. If their crop is hit by a storm or natural disaster, they don’t give up. They do what it takes and eventually enjoy their harvest, even if it takes another year or two.

Be like a farmer, stay persistent and determined to do whatever it takes. If it doesn’t work, then find another way. There is always a way to achieve what you want.

As you practice this more, rebooting your determination daily, you will feel successful in yourself. And you will feel this empowerment even before you reach your target.

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7. Take Good Care of Your Mind and Body

What we do with our body and our mind has a dramatic impact on how successful we are.

Anthony Robbins says we must adopt a physiology and psychology of excellence, which is the fifth success principle of NLP. But what does that really mean?

Over the years, I have found out the hard way that our mind can impact our physical health. Even more so our day-to-day behavior.

The reverse is also true. Our body has an enormous effect on our emotional state, which also affects how we show up.

Both of these key elements can affect our results. If we feel low in energy or view an experience in a negative way, we will show up in a less than desired way.

For example, you attend a luncheon feeling tired because you haven’t been looking after yourself. No one speaks to you and you lose confidence because you feel like you don’t fit in. This will affect your facial expression and your posture. People may even avoid you because you possibly look unapproachable. Because of this, you don’t go again and lose the opportunity to meet new clients.

On the other hand, if you were feeling energized, you would find it easier to look at the positive side. You might realize those who feel out of place themselves, so you go and speak to them. And possibly even find a new client. By adjusting your psychology in the moment, you changed the outcome and your energy played a key role in this.

Because of this connection, it’s essential to care for your mind and body, and just as importantly your spirit. As you do this regularly, you will find it easier to see the positive side of all situations.

You can do this by creating a wellness routine; preferably in the morning before your day starts. Include a form of exercise you love. A healthy diet and drinking plenty of water also plays an important role. Meditation and any form of spiritual practice like a gratitude journal, yoga, TaiChi and QuiGong will care for your mind and spirit. Spending time in nature or walking outdoors is wonderful for uplifting your state and helping you feel calm.

As you continue to nurture your mind, body and spirit, you will notice that you handle everyday situations in a different way. Your performance will excel and you will experience more successful outcomes.

Bottom Line

There are numerous success tips and here, I have named 7 of the most impactful. It’s not about following every tip you find; it’s about which you choose and consistently implementing them.

As you get clear on your own definition of success, you will begin to know what is important to you. This will give you a solid foundation to develop your own mindset and achieve what you want in life.

More About Success

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Business Dictionary: Success
[2] NLPAcademy.co.uk: Getting clarity in the uncertainty of life

More by this author

Deb Johnstone

Deb is a sought after mindset speaker and a transformational life and business coach specialising in NLP and dynamic mindset.

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

How to Bounce Back Gracefully After Getting Fired

How to Bounce Back Gracefully After Getting Fired

Whether you saw it coming or not, getting fired is a real shock and its impact is daunting. What did you do wrong? What are you supposed to do next? When will you stop feeling so angry?

But there are ways to deal with a layoff.

The most important thing is to remain calm and see it as an opportunity to reflect, change and improve. This is a great time to consider what happened, look again at your needs and desires and start afresh on a stronger, more constructive basis.

Let’s take a look at how you can bounce back gracefully after getting fired.

1. Deal with the Shock of Getting Fired

To lose your job is to lose your identity as a worker and as a person. Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress, states that 7 out of 10 of us define ourselves by our job titles, since work is where we spend the majority of our time and energy.

Being laid off affronts your sense of self-worth—it implies that you simply are not good enough. It’s no wonder you feel confused and emotional.

The first thing, then, is to take some time to digest what happened and deal with the overflow of sensations. People who quickly recover from the pain of a job loss tend to do two things very well:

First, they accept their feelings of sadness, anger, fear and shame as a part of the natural healing process.

Second, they do their complaining to a friend.

Never call out your boss in the office or on social media. It’s a bad form to speak ill of the company you work for. Stay stylish, and your employer will speak better of you when you need a reference.

2. Stay Away from the Drama Queens

Mass layoffs are, unfortunately, very common. If this is your situation, then you may be surrounded by a lot of angry people, ruminating and lamenting their fate.

“It’s not fair!” they say. “After everything we did for this company! We don’t deserve this!”

You’ve lost your job and that’s tough. But please resist the urge to join in the negativity. Positivity is by far the most important attitude to apply right now. If staying upbeat means you have to limit your exposure to the Negative Nellies, then that’s what you have to do.

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Remember, life is not harder for you than it is for other people on this planet. You live in a democracy, you have freedom of choice and you enjoy a certain material abundance.

Stay positive and focus on what’s going well in your life and the exciting future opportunities available to you. Getting fired is only a temporary setback.

Staying positing could be challenging in a difficult situation, so these tips can help:

10 Questions To Ask Yourself To Stay Positive When Facing Difficulties

3. Take a Break and Let the Dust Settle

Instead of running straight into another job that may not be the right one either, take a short break to recover from the job loss. You need a week or two to de-stress and meditate on the next step.

Be attentive to your need for self-care during this interlude. Everything goes so fast these days that we often do not stop to think or give ourselves the permission to do a little mourning.

Getting fired is a big shock: you need time to refocus and take stock of the new reality. Do not make things harder for yourself!

What you need is to pause a while and do some self reflection:

How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life

4. Be Anchored in the Present

Since you no longer have a hold on the past, but have not yet designed your future, try to build yourself up with the present. What do we mean by that?

We mean that right now is the only time you have any control over. Focus on that instead of losing yourself in memories or reliving the awful day you got fired over and over in your head.

Get up at 7 a.m. each day, whatever happens. The body needs rhythm and habits. You will feel much more energized if you keep a consistent routine. Maintain a healthy lifestyle, revisit your budget, play sports, volunteer. Take care of the practical stuff like claiming unemployment. Enjoy the small pleasures of everyday life.

When you’re busy, there’s no room for the inner critic to raise up and derail you. Keep active, and you will gain more of the precious energy you need so much to move forward.

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Try these things to help you live in the moment:

34 Ways To Live in the Moment And Grow in the Moment

5. Understand the “Why”

There are lots of reasons why people are fired. Sometimes the mistake is yours and it’s embarrassing to admit you backed yourself into this corner.

Other times, it’s not your fault. Businesses change direction all the time—maybe yours is going through a major transition or merger and your job is disappearing.

Either way, to give the situation some closure, you need to understand why you were dismissed. What slipped? What could you have done differently? Was your boss really out to get you or did you do something to put your job in jeopardy?

Be honest with yourself. It’s not easy to admit that you might have dropped the ball but it’s the only way to turn the situation into a learning experience. Ask yourself:

What skills do you need to improve?

Is there training you can access, or learning you can do?

In the end, did this job suit you that much? Were you happy there?

Reflecting on these questions can help you put things into perspective. What lessons can you learn to avoid reproducing the same pattern in your next job?

6. Find out If You Were the Right Fit

Hiring decisions ultimately come down to personality. You can study for an interview all you like, but every candidate who is chosen for interview has the right credentials for the job.

The final decision comes down to personality. Who does the recruiter like the best? Who is a better fit for the company culture? That’s the person who strikes it lucky.

Firing decisions are based on personality, too. Slacking off, insubordination and playing fast and loose with the company rules—these are the official reasons why people are getting fired.

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But all of these reasons boil down to one thing: personality. Specifically, they signal a personality clash between an employee and a manager, or an employee’s fit with the company’s culture.

Here’s an example:

Suppose you were fired for “not being a team player.” Some people, namely introverts, lose energy when they are surrounded by other people and gain energy when they are on their own. Forcing an introvert to continuously work on a busy, noisy team without any solitary rest periods means the job is a mission impossible. This employee will never perform at her best.

Or how about the time the Kansas City Star newspaper fired Walt Disney for a perceived lack of imagination? Talk about a clash of personalities![1]

Getting fired can be a signal to turn inward and do some self-reflection so you can better understand your personality and how it might fit in with corporate culture.

In particular, personality assessments based on Isabel Briggs Myers’ sixteen personality types can help you to understand your own work style and how you can find a job and workplace that better match who you truly are.

In many cases, it is totally liberating to realize that all the crap you had to deal with was just down to a clash of work styles and not something you did wrong!

7. Rediscover Your Strengths and Talents

A personality test can also give you clear insights into your strengths, weaknesses, motivations and work potential. Do you have leadership abilities? How do you communicate and manage conflict? What benefits do you add to an organization?

Identifying your working style should be your top priority right now, otherwise you risk accepting a new position that has all the same problems as before. The last thing you want is to reproduce the same old dramas the next time around.

When you become aware of your potential, you will have the confidence to search and find the type of work you love.

For example, getting fired from your banking job may have knocked you sideways. But you have some stellar home decorating skills, and a personality test shows that you are curious, flexible, rational and resilient—all the traits of successful entrepreneurs. Maybe this dismissal is an opportunity to launch the business you’ve always dreamed of but never dared to admit to yourself?

By considering all your special skills and talents, you increase your chances of finding a job you would really enjoy, and not just the one you can do.

8. Get the Word Out

At this point, you should be ready to take action and move forward with your job search. Let’s not sugarcoat the situation: getting a new job is tough. It helps to have a clear idea of the direction you want to go in, a list of all your crossover skills and a freshly polished resume.

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Look around for inspiration. Talk to recruiters in your sector to establish what they consider to be your most valuable skills. Use all the resources at your disposal: job search agencies, headhunters, work coaches, careers websites and so on. These resources can help you match your qualifications to the job requirements and ensure you have the right keywords on your resume.

Don’t hold back on marshaling your networks. Put friends and family to work to pop up leads, and don’t be afraid to ask for referrals. Sometimes the simple act of getting the word out to the people who know you is the surest way to find work fast.

9. Anticipate Questions and Know How to Answer Them

Even if it wasn’t your fault, getting fired can hurt you if you don’t know how to explain why you were let go. You have to be honest here and tell recruiters the truth. Even if a would-be employer does not specifically ask why you left your previous job, it is better to clarify the situation upfront before it comes out in your references.

The best approach is to take your share of responsibility and show that you want to go forward and that you understand the lesson.

For example, suppose you got fired for asking the difficult questions that no one wanted to answer and your candidness set people on edge. Acknowledge that some people perceive your communication style as abrupt and explain how you’re taking steps to increase your diplomacy skills.

A recruiter can be seduced by someone who knows how to evolve and who shows a great energy for personal development.

10. Adapt and Persist

Throughout this journey, you inevitably will go through moments of self-doubt and disappointment. There are undulations in every road, and these are the normal steps for regaining self-confidence after getting fired.

Stay tough! Don’t conclude that your future is hopeless just because the dream job doesn’t land straightaway. You open a positive path when you maintain focus. Have the confidence to know that the perfect job for you is out there.

Remember, you are not alone. Many people walked this road and they would urge you to keep the momentum. Stay open-minded and go where the opportunities take you: it will bring you closer to the job you really want.

Coming Out on Top

While getting fired isn’t the ideal situation, it isn’t the end of the world either. Even if feels like a doozy right now, you will get through it and emerge happier on the other side.

Be clear on what you want, have courage and believe in yourself. In the end, you may decide that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to you. It can be the catalyst for a powerful, career-fulfilling change.

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Featured photo credit: Jesus Kiteque via unsplash.com

Reference

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