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Published on September 9, 2019

8 Things to Remember When You Can’t Do What You Need to Do

8 Things to Remember When You Can’t Do What You Need to Do

We’ve all been in some pretty tough spots throughout our lives. Regardless of how good things seem to be, we all experience those moments which make us think “I can’t do it”, or “I can’t go on any longer”. These are important moments in our lives. They have the potential to make or break us on our path towards success and happiness. So we must make the right choices in these moments.

To help you find that crucial inner strength I’ve put together a helpful list. And I’m going to walk you through 10 of the most important things to remember that will turn “I can’t do it”, into an “I can and I will do it!”

1. Persistence Is Often Key

Our persistence towards any goal is very often the key to whether we achieve it or not.

It’s not uncommon for the most successful people in our lives to also be those who were willing to persist through the most struggles, failures, and hardships.

If you are the type of person who gives up in the face of a challenge, chances are you won’t get far. If you think “I can’t do it” and then give up, obviously you won’t succeed. You need to remember that success comes through your persistence.

You need to be willing to face these struggles head-on and power through them. Remembering that persistence will lead you to success will help you overcome these hard times.

Remember, life will take things from you, it will help you grow. Then, once you’ve persisted through these trials, it will begin to slowly give things back to you continuously.

So find ways to remind yourself in your daily life that your persistence is key. It will often be the make or break characteristic determining whether you reach your personal definition of success or not.

If you want a great book on this topic, consider looking into psychologist Angela Duckworth’s book Grit. It talks about how passion and perseverance are the main determinants of our success.

2. Acknowledging a Challenge Leads to Its Correction

Building on the last point, it’s important to acknowledge the challenges you face. By acknowledging them, you can accept that they exist in your life. Then, you will be able to begin generating solutions to overcome those challenges.

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Also, be proactive with the mindset acknowledging that every journey will experience at least some struggles. Nobody’s life is completely problem-free. We all have our struggles to cope with and overcome.

Learning to accept that there will be challenges along your path will help prevent you from being blindsided by them as they arise. Then, you can acknowledge their existence and begin working towards creating a solution that works for you and your life.

Remember, just because things get tough doesn’t mean that you’re doing anything wrong. Sometimes doing the right things can take a great deal more effort. Dedicating time and making sacrifices to do the right thing is never going to be easy.

So acknowledge these challenges, be ready for them, and don’t let them get the best of you.

3. Get Comfortable with Discomfort

When you feel like you can no longer do what you’re supposed to do and want to scream “I can’t do it,” remember that life was not designed to be easy.

We are all always going to be facing hurdles and overcoming hardships and personal battles throughout our lives. If you can get on board and accept this reality, things will get easier for you. You’ll be better prepared mentally to face the challenges that pop up in your life.

And just because you’re accepting that there will be discomfort in your life doesn’t mean you’re being negative. Being positive doesn’t mean that you have to ignore all the bad things in your life. As I’ve already stated, often acknowledging these bad things is the first step towards overcoming them.

An additional thought to keep in mind here is that true growth begins when you step outside of your comfort zone. There’s no doubt that’s a difficult thing to do. But the discomfort you experience stepping outside of your comfort zone may be exactly what you need to make those big breakthroughs in terms of your development in your life.

So maybe it’s time to begin forcing yourself to make small steps outside that comfort zone of yours. Feeling unsure? Take a look at this article: Is It Really Better to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone?

4. Positivity and Gratitude Goes a Long Way

You can’t get mad at yourself from going through and experiencing a rough spell. We all experience those tough times, it’s just the reality of living a life here on Earth.

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But instead of getting down on yourself when you’re thinking I can’t do it anymore and going to pout in a corner, think about how good it felt the last time you were successful at achieving one of your goals. Remember how happy that made you feel, or be thankful for what you’ve been able to achieve.

It’s truly amazing how far these little doses of positivity and gratitude can go in our daily lives. They can completely flip our mood and turn our days around.

So if you’re unhappy with where you are, move. You’re not rooted to the spot.

Remember, things could always be worse. We choose the mindset and perspectives we approach a situation with. We can choose to fixate on certain thoughts over others. So train yourself to see that silver lining. This positivity can go a long way.[1]

5. Remember Where You Came From

When I feel like I can’t do it anymore, I often try to look back at where I’ve come from. I’ve grown a lot throughout my life and overcome some pretty tough things. If you’re anything like me, I’m willing to bet that you have also.

So, remember to be proud of the person that you’ve become today. Be proud of the time and effort you’ve invested in your development because it’s what has gotten you here.

One way that you can begin to remind yourself how awesome you are when you hit these funks is to begin celebrating the small victories you achieve in your life. If you don’t celebrate these small wins, it’ll be hard to remember how proud you truly are of what you’ve achieved. This can help you through tough times as well.

The next time you get stuck in a rut, think about the things that you’ve been able to overcome in your past. I’m sure there are some pretty tough things. And just like those challenges you rose above in your past, you will also rise above the challenges you are currently facing.

Remember, despite having possibly seen better days than where you are right now, you have also likely seen worse. You can and you will get through these tough times! Better days are on the horizon as long as you keep yourself moving forward.

6. Breaking Things into Manageable Steps Works Wonders

Divide and conquer. Sometimes we stand in our own way by focusing on our biggest goals as a whole.

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If you don’t already do this, you’d be amazed by how much simpler even your biggest goals seem when you break them down into small manageable steps.

The next time you catch yourself thinking “I can’t do it,” take a quick pause. Are you looking strictly at the end result? Or are you looking at the steps you need to take towards that goal?

If you’re only looking at the final result, take some time to create a plan. The benefits of planning are further outlined by Gollwitzer in the book The Psychology of Action: Linking Cognition and Motivation to Behavior.

Reflect on the individual steps that you need to take to achieve that goal. Write them out in the order that you’ll complete them and then get to work!

By taking continual small steps, you’ll ensure that you’re always making progress towards your goals. This will lead to a momentum in your life that will help you overcome even some of the most difficult challenges you’ll have to face.

7. Remember Your ‘Why’

Remember your WHY — This is probably one of the best ways to overcome that “I can’t do it” feeling.

Remember why you started on this path in the first place. Remember why you passionately pursued this goal. Don’t let that vision of yours slip away.

Sometimes, we start with these visions that we are completely passionate about but lose sight of it over our journey. When we lose sight of it and stop focusing on it, we can find ourselves getting lost.

When your vision and focus get a little foggy and you’ve lost sight of your passion, regain that crucial bit of clarity. Focus in on why that goal was originally important to you. Rediscover that passion that can put you back on your path towards success!

Write out what made this important to you. Leave is somewhere that you can easily visualize it regularly. This will serve as a continual reminder to you for why you’re on this journey and why it’s important to continue moving forward and overcoming the challenges that may get in your way.

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8. Life Isn’t Certain, Accept It

The final thing to remember when you feel like you’re struggling is that life is never going to be certain. Nothing in life is ever going to be 100% guaranteed for any of us.

Additionally, sometimes things are just going to happen. You can predict or plan for everything in your life but, things will pop up and surprise you.

Lucky for you though, if you’ve embodied a few of the previous things mentioned on this list, then you’ll embrace these moments and make the best of them. Take uncertainty and treat those moments as opportunities to turn them into something good and positive in your life.

Sure, you may not have been expecting your life to take some of these turns but, it may open your eyes to new things that you never even knew you wanted.

The fact that life isn’t certain and learning to embrace that uncertainty is one of the best ways to ensure that we don’t miss any exciting plot twists along our journeys towards our goals and our success!

Final Thoughts

I hope that you’ve been able to pick a few of these to try when you’re struggling with overcoming a challenge.

You don’t have to use them all. You are a unique person and the combination of these which works best for you will also be unique to you.

Overall, these tricks will help you turn “I can’t do it” into “I can overcome this, I just need to figure out how!”

Stay excellent everyone!

More About Positivity

Featured photo credit: Jude Beck via unsplash.com

Reference

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Mark Lynch

Featured Life-Balance, & Personal Development Author

How to Strive for Continuous Improvement and Growth 8 Reasons Why Goal Setting Is Important to a Fulfilling Life What Is Self-Image (And How to Change It for a Happier Life) 8 Things to Remember When You Can’t Do What You Need to Do 20 All-Time Best Motivational Books to Inspire You

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Last Updated on November 5, 2019

7 Steps to Start Living Your Dream Life Right Now

7 Steps to Start Living Your Dream Life Right Now

Have you ever heard the question, “what would you do if money was not a factor?” It is one of those questions that people often brush aside, because quite frankly, money is a factor. The doubters will mock you as naive or foolish, but deep down you know it is possible to start living your dream life. You know there is more to life than working and paying bills.

It seems as though most people are just trying to get by. They work because they need to make an income to support their life.

People not only settle in the workplace, but also in their relationships with their friends and family. You may even know people who settle by compromising their integrity and core values.

That is why it is not naive or foolish to start living your dream life, it is essential.

Living your dream life is more than being rich, it is the belief that you are living a life aligned with your purpose. If you are ready to free yourself of the fears that cause you to live your life according to the expectations of others, then follow the below 7 steps found in the book – Champion of Change, the 7 Instrumental Laws of Change:

1. Construct a Plan of Action

The foundation for you to create your dream life is for you to take the time and visualize what that life will look like.

This is more than the normal vision board you may have heard before. This form of visualization requires you to use all your senses. Olympians are well-known for their visualization practices as they prepare for competition. The reason they do this is because everyone is very talented by the mere accomplishment of qualifying for the Olympics.

To gain an edge, Olympians will visualize themselves competing in their actual event. Emily Cook, of the United States free style ski team is quoted as saying she engaged all her senses in her visualization. She moves her body as if she is skiing down the slopes, she feels the air as it blows through her hair, and she hears the roar of the crowd as she crosses the finish line.[1]

Olympians visualize in such detail because they understand they only have one opportunity every four years to compete. The best way they can be ready for the moment is by continually competing in their mind. Studies support this belief as they show you can literally gain muscle by visualizing yourself working out [2]

2. Focus Your Attention

If you want to start living your dream life right now, you are going to need to adjust the way you see the world. Your beliefs create your consciousness, and your consciousness creates your reality, and your reality is maintained by the way your mind filters information.

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Everyday, you receive millions of sensory inputs and your mind filters out most of them to keep you from going crazy. The ones you receive are the ones that your mind believes matter to you based on past experiences.

One of the most popular examples is when you purchase a new car. As soon as you purchase that car, suddenly you notice that car everywhere. Now you probably know that everyone did not purchase the car the same day as you, but what happened?

Well, when you purchased your new car, you told your mind ,”this car matters to me”. As a result, your mind is now showing you the car that has always been there.

Your mind blocks out most of the stuff that is going on while you are driving to help you stay sane. Imagine if you were consciously aware of every line, tree, car, deer, squirrel, reflector and sign while driving.

The same way your mind can adjust your filters based on the action of purchasing a new car, you can take actions to create your dream life. As you take action, your mind will show you new opportunities that were always there (just outside of your previous filters).

    Learn more about how to focus here: How to Improve Focus: 7 Ways to Train Your Brain

    3. Put the Systems and Processes in Place

    Once you have the proper mindset to start living your dream life, you are ready to shift your focus to maintaining your early wins.

    The mistake most people make is they are excited in the early going, but they are working solely off discipline and willpower. Your willpower and discipline are exhaustible resources that will fade over time. That is why most people quit their New Year’s Resolution 30-days after starting. That is also why people who are on a diet will make nutritious decisions throughout the day, and fail miserably late at night.

    Each time you withstood the tempting call of sweets, the likelihood of you withstanding another call decreased.

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    This is why it is so important that you put systems and processes in place that limit the need for you to use discipline and willpower. In the case of our dieter, it would be better for them to trash all the candy they no longer want to eat.

    The reason is simple:

    Whatever food that is in your house, you are going to eat at some time or another. The only way to truly ensure you will not eat the candy is to throw it away.

    This is also true when it comes to you and your dream life. If you want to ensure that you follow through on your vision, you have to be willing to limit the ability for you to revert back to your previous life.

    If you want to stop relying on your willpower and start making things happen, these tips will help: How to Break a Habit and Hack the Habit Loop

    4. Accountability Is a Must

    When you are accountable to someone or a group, you will find yourself more motivated to continue. Deep down, we all want to be accepted by others. Even though this can work against you sometimes, this particular occasion is not one of them.

    When you proclaim your goal to other people, it improves the likelihood of you following through.

    You may be surprised to know, but you experience accountability on a regular basis.

    • If the CEO asks you to provide a report, you are going to make the best report of your life. You understand the opportunity and value of making a good impression with the CEO.
    • Now imagine if your coworker asked for the report. Will there be a difference in quality?
    • How about if you were going to a class reunion? Would that improve your commitment to get in shape?
    • Even when you know you are going to have company over at your house, you are going to clean better than if you knew no one was coming.

    Accountability works because you want to keep your word and make a good impression of yourself in front of others.

    5. Catalyst for Change

    There are things you can control and things that you cannot control in life. Do not allow the fear of failure or fear of uncertainty keep you from living your dream life. Everything is not going to go smoothly on your journey. You are going to face challenges and setbacks.

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    The good news is failure is a part of success. They are two halves of the same coin. What tends to happen is people spend so much time trying to avoid failure, that they never realize they are undermining their ability to find success.

    By understanding that failure is a part of success, you understand your goal is not to avoid failure, but to build on it: 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

    Your dream life does not necessarily need a positive event to start. Oftentimes, it is the negative events (or perceived negative) and a sense of desperation that drives people to reach further than they ever have before.

    Your catalyst for change may be exactly what you wanted or it may be the worst thing that could have happened. Either way, your focus is on what to do next. You want to build on that event by stacking positive events on top of it.

    Positive events are anything that move you closer to your goal. In your case, anything that moves you closer to your dream life. Whether you quit your job or your boss fired you, it is all about what you are going to do next.

    Choose to respond to each situation by taking another step towards your dream life.

    6. Character Matters

    In a study between two schools on opposite ends of the economic spectrum, positive psychology experts created a list of character strengths they believed essential to success.

    Their list included grit, self-control, zest, social intelligence, gratitude, optimism, and curiosity.

    Some of the character traits were common with how most people view success; such as grit, curiosity or self-control. However, gratitude, zest, optimism, and social intelligence (compassion) were on the list, but their relation to success is often overlooked.[3]

    It is important to remember that change comes from the inside-out. Your core values are the prism through which you accomplish your goals.

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    7. Muster up the Courage

    Once you have completed the first six steps, you have everything you need to start living your dream life.

    Do not allow yourself to procrastinate on your transformation. The fear of change may disguise itself as a thoughtful plan to wait for more information or better timing.

    Keep in mind that you are not looking for the perfect situation, you are only looking to start. One you get started, you are going to be better equipped to make any changes.

    I often compare starting your journey like walking through a fog. If you stand on the outside of the fog trying to see to the other side, you are going to find it very difficult. But if you are willing take the first few steps, you are going to realize that you can see a few more steps into the fog.

    If you are willing to continue walking, before you know it, you can see clearly because the fog is behind you.

    You have an idea of what your dream life looks like and you have an idea of the effort it is going to take to make it happen. However, you do not really know how realistic your expectations are until you experience it.

    Final Thoughts

    There is a lot of work that goes into living your dream life, but you will find it well worth your time.

    Most people regret the things they did not do more than anything they have ever done. Therefore, do not settle for a life that is less than your dream life. Pursue your dream life with effort and resolve.

    More About Living Your Dream Life

    Featured photo credit: Cristina Gottardi via unsplash.com

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