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How to Detect Crap Talk

How to Detect Crap Talk

When was the last time you told a lie? Whether we like to admit it or not, we all engage in day-to-day deception. In fact, research shows that during a typical day, the average American adult tells one or two lies.[1] We may tell lies to avoid criticism, rejection, or to avoid losing out at work or in our personal lives. However, some lies are particularly more toxic. They are fabrications designed craps to hurt or manipulate. In other words, people can talk complete crap to gain control over others. For the sake of your own wellbeing, it’s essential that you learn how to spot crap talk.

Why do people talk crap?

Most people talk crap for purely self-serving purposes. They may lie to protect their image, for instance by denying that they have committed a violation of the law or broken a social rule. It’s also common for liars to engage in deception to protect something or someone they want or value, or to evade a punishment they would receive were someone else to discover the truth. You can think of this kind of talk as a suit of armor. A liar can hide behind it, and over time can even construct an entirely false persona.

    Unfortunately, when lying works, someone is more likely to repeat the behavior in the future. This drives a wedge between them and others, damaging their relationships. Lies can also hurt others directly. For instance, when someone tries to offload the blame onto others or spread malicious gossip or fake news, relationships can be destroyed and reputations ruined overnight.

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      Luckily, once you understand how to detect crap, you can protect yourself against it.

      Disarm crap talk

      You should actively expect others to talk nonsense from time to time, and accept that they are going to lie to you. When someone tells you something that doesn’t quite feel right, be sure to investigate further.

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        Questions—your best weapon against crap talk

        When something doesn’t add up, ask the speaker a few probing questions. Questions such as “Why do you think that?” “Can you explain your reasoning here?” and “What is your evidence in support of that view?” push the other person to fabricate details, and they will eventually get caught out when their story doesn’t make sense. If someone tries to push a statistic or so-called “fact” on you, ask to see their sources. If they can’t send you a reliable link to a good source, chances are that they are misinformed or talking crap in order to advance their agenda.

        Another sign that someone is talking crap is a reluctance to discuss the issue further, because they know that they will be exposed if you keep asking them questions. For example, if someone argues that redundancies in a company are “unavoidable” but then become evasive when asked to outline the decision-making process that resulted in this outcome, it’s likely that mistakes have been made and they are just covering up for their own incompetence.

        Jargon is a big red flag

        Sometimes, we have to use jargon in discussion. For instance, medical jargon will crop up in conversation among doctors and nurses. However, overly-complex words and needlessly elaborate jargon are often used to conceal lies or distort the truth. Don’t let anyone make you feel stupid. If you don’t understand something, keep asking clarifying questions until the speaker distills their message down to plain English. If they can’t or won’t do this, you should consider the possibility that they are trying to deceive you.

        Get a third opinion if you can, preferably from someone with a background in the area. They will be able to tell you whether the jargon you have been hearing is just technical talk, or merely a vehicle for crap talk.

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        Here are two examples of how someone might use jargon to conceal what’s really going on:

        “We are attempting to think outside the box and undergo and extensive company restructure that will facilitate the dynamic interpersonal collaboration of our two largest departments.”

        In plain English, this means that the company is taking a new approach (“thinking outside the box”) by laying people off (“extensive company restructure”) and merging two departments together (“dynamic interpersonal collaboration”).

        This kind of crap talk is used to confuse people and stop them asking questions that get to the real heart of the matter, i.e. the full story behind these changes and what it will mean for those whose jobs are on the line.

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        If all else fails, give it time

        Not only does time heal all wounds, but time tends to reveal all crap talk. If someone tells a significant lie, it’s a matter of time before the truth comes out. For instance, a wife may deny that she is having an affair, but in the end she will likely get caught. To use a business context, a manager may maintain that everything is just fine in his team, but one day he will probably snap and tell the junior staff precisely what he thinks of them!

        If someone is adamant that their view on an issue is correct, this should be verifiable via other sources. Depending on the situation, this might be mutual friends, colleagues, news sources, your personal experience, and scientific evidence. Don’t be afraid to confront the speaker with evidence that disproves their position if you can.

        Cut the crap

        The next time your gut instinct kicks in, pay close attention to what someone is saying and how they are saying it. If someone is speaking the truth, they won’t mind answering reasonable questions or explaining ideas in simple terms. Although it isn’t nice to think that most people lie at least occasionally, equipping yourself with the tools you need to spot lies will at least save you hassle at both work and home.

        Featured photo credit: Deviant Art via e400.deviantart.com

        Reference

        More by this author

        Anna Chui

        Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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        Last Updated on September 17, 2019

        10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

        10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

        Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

        But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

        Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

        1. Spend Time with Positive People

        If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

        Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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        2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

        When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

        Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

        3. Contribute to the Community

        One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

        Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

        4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

        Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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        Some recommendations for you:

        5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

        You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

        If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

        There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

        6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

        It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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        Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

        7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

        Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

        For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

        Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

        8. Offer Compliments to Others

        Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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        9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

        If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

        Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

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        Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

        Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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        Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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