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How to Smile to Be More Attractive

How to Smile to Be More Attractive

Usually, smiling indicates a positive, approachable and likeable person. It can send your attraction levels soaring from the perspective of another and create an emotional, often subconscious, reaction within them.

But do all smiles have this effect? Is a simple smile really going to instantly up your attractiveness? Well, it depends. The type of smile you give and the situation you give it in, can make a difference to how it’s interpreted.

A smile can also make you less reliable

Yes, research has found that people who smile more are considered more attractive and likeable. While those who give the impression of looking sad tend to be seen as less approachable. It could be a case of face shape and the mouth naturally sitting in a down-mouth expression. When we’re not consciously thinking about smiling or actually feeling inner sadness, our faces can send out the signal of keep away.

But the opposite can also be a problem. If you smile too much, say in a formal situation such as a business meeting, you can actually come across as being less reliable.

So how can we smile in the right way and at the right time to give the best impression?

Human brains can’t really differentiate if a smile is fake or real most of the time

When it comes to social situations, you can never really smile too much. This is because your aim is to exude your confidence and positivity towards others. It’s a type of human bonding in order to carry on interactions and become part of the pack.

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If you’re a person who often gets comments about always looking angry, sad or standoffish, it can be frustrating especially when you’re not particularly feeling those emotions as you go through your day.

The key is to practice fake smiling. It may sound ridiculous but most people can’t actually differentiate fake smiles from real ones in an ongoing interaction.

It’s been found [1] that the act of smiling – even if fake – tricks the part of your brain associated with happiness and releasing endorphins. The brain can’t differentiate between the physical act of fake smiling or real smiling – to your brain, it’s the same. So when you practice fake smiling the brain thinks you’re happy, and if done enough times will eventually create a genuine, happy smile.

Men perceive women’s smile as “humor”

As a woman, your smile and laugh are extremely powerful in the attraction process. Of course this applies to both sexes, but a man, in particular, responds in a certain way to the positive nature of a smile and a laugh.

In a man’s mind, humor is essential in attracting a woman. If he can make her laugh, he feels he’s succeeding. If you like a guy, use this to your advantage. Smile and laugh that little bit more at his jokes if you want to increase his attraction for you.

What also happens when you smile and laugh more in a guy’s presence, is that he actually interprets your laughter as you being humorous. In other words, in his eyes you don’t have to crack hilarious jokes to be funny but actually just think his jokes are hilarious.

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Different types of smile and their effects

We all want to be liked in different situations, and our smile is the one simple weapon we have to achieve this. So what are the different ways we can use our smile to get optimal results?

The ‘Sideways Look Up’ Smile: Both men and women will love you

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    This type of smile is considered the most attractive to both men and women. For men, it evokes masculine feelings of protection while women will naturally feel warmth towards you.

    Why? Because the smiler instantly comes across as child-like, playful and secretive. For men, this creates parental male feelings, making them want to care for you and this can be the basis of attraction between potential couples. It’s coy and a people-pleaser which is why Princess Diana, who naturally used this type of smile, was able to captivate the hearts of the people.

    Want to Appear Open? Avoid The ‘Tight-Lipped’ Smile

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      Think back to situations when someone’s smile has evoked a feeling of uneasiness. Most times their smile has been tight-lipped – concealed teeth and lips stretched tight across the face.

      Depending on whether you’re a man or a woman, you may interpret this differently. Women tend to use this much more and are usually a sign they are trying not to reveal their true, often negative, feelings. Other women tend to interpret this as a sign of rejection or a withheld opinion causing them to become cautious. Men, on the other hand, can be more oblivious to its meaning.

      If your intention is to remain mysterious and promote a sense of curiosity in another person, then this type of smile may work but use it with caution. Most people react better to how open you appear which will mean smiling more with your teeth showing.

      Get Playful With the ‘Drop Jaw’ Smile

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        This kind of smile isn’t necessarily natural but if done in the right way will allow you to appear like you’re laughing and more playful.

        When you smile, simply drop your jaw down by opening the mouth up more. You may have seen this technique in clowns usually using face paint to exaggerate the open smile.

        There are certain situations where using this type of smile can be to your benefit. If you want to come across as more friendly – say, as a boss wanting to be more open and friendly to your staff – this is the perfect technique. However, be aware that using the drop-jaw smile in a more authoritative setting is best to be avoided as it gives off the wrong impression and could make people believe you’re not to be taken too seriously.

        So try to be more aware of your smiling. Ask yourself do you smile enough? If not practice fake smiling. Think about the situations and how your smile is being interpreted. Being aware of using the right smile at the right time can significantly increase your social, romantic and career goals.

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        Anna Chui

        Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the Content Strategist of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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        Last Updated on October 20, 2020

        Can People Change When Changing Is So Difficult?

        Can People Change When Changing Is So Difficult?

        Hope is not a strategy when it comes to change. Commitment is what is needed to make real change happen. Can people change? Absolutely, but exchanging your excuses for commitment is necessary to get started.

        Human nature leans toward habits, which can become ingrained over the years, but that doesn’t mean habits can be undone.

        The good news is that your personality and behaviors can be changed, but it is up to you. Below are some tips to help you get started with change.

        1. Figure out What You Need to Change

        If you’re reading this, you’re probably already aware of something you would like to change. That’s great! The first step toward change is acknowledging that you have something you need to change.

        Look at the repeated problems in your life, the issues that seem to come up time and time again. Do you keep gravitating toward the wrong relationships, but you blame the people you are choosing, rather than looking at your problem in the selection process?

        Do you jump from one job to another, yet blame co-workers and bosses, rather than look at what you may be doing to cause problems and dissatisfaction on the job?

        We are creatures of habit, so look at the negative patterns in your life. Then, look inside to see what’s causing these repeated life problems to occur. If you can’t figure it out on your own, consider going to a counselor for better understanding. Once you recognize the area that requires change, you can move to the next step.

        2. Believe That Change Is Indeed Possible

        There are people out there who believe that personality is unchangeable. When confronted with their problem, such as constant negativity, they lash back with “that’s just who I am.” It may be who you are, but does it need to be?

        Change in personality and behaviors is possible. Nobody stays the same from one year to the next, let alone across a decade, so why not move change in the direction that is best for you? Be proactive about the change you want in your life, including the belief that change can occur.

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        Look for success stories and people who have changed and done what you so deeply desire to do. Seeing that others have been where you have are and have accomplished the change you desire will help you in your process to accomplish that change.

        3. List the Benefits of This Change

        In order for people to change, they need to buy into the premise that the change is necessary for their betterment. For example, maybe your goal is to be more productive at work. There are many benefits that could come from this, including:

        • Getting more done in a shorter amount of time.
        • Having more time for your family.
        • Getting a promotion
        • Being liked and appreciated by your boss.
        • Being part of the success of the company.

        One of the best ways to help yourself stick to the commitment of change is to make a list of the benefits that the change will bring in your life. Make one list of the benefits for your life and another for your loved ones. Recognizing the full spectrum of benefits, including how your change will affect those closest to you, will help you stick with the process of change.

        When you have moments of weakness, or fail on a particular day or time, then getting back on track becomes easier when you review your list on a regular basis. Posting your “benefits of change” list somewhere where you see it often, such as a bathroom mirror, will help you be reminded of why you are doing what you are doing.

        4. Make a Real Commitment to Change

        Make a commitment to the time frame needed for the change to happen. If you want to lose 50 lbs., then set out a realistic plan of a few pounds per week and a timeline that reflects those goals.

        It will take you a lot longer than a month, but setting realistic goals will help you stick to your commitment. Change happens one day at a time. It is not immediate, but over the course of time because of your dedication and commitment to the process.

        It also helps if you make your goals SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound.[1]

        People can change using SMART goals

          An example of this would be a person who wants to become an active runner so they can tackle a half marathon. The first step would be to research what other people have done for training plans to achieve this goal.

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          Runners World lays out specifics for a beginner to train for a half marathon: “Target the Long Run: Every other week, increase your long run by 1.5 miles until you’re run/walking 13 to 14 miles. On alternate weeks, keep your long run to no longer than three miles. Your longest long run should fall two weeks before your half-marathon. Plan to take about 15 weeks to prepare for the big day.”[2]

          These kinds of specificities will help you create a personalized plan that is achievable and time-bound.

          You can learn more about writing SMART goals here.

          5. Create a Plan of Attack

          You need a set of steps outlined to succeed. This is why 12-step programs are so successful. You can’t simply walk into a meeting and be cured and changed. You need to mentally process the change in order for the change to be lasting and effective.

          Create a plan for your change. Be realistic and investigate what other people have done to change.

          For example, if you are dealing with anxiety and want to change that, then seek out therapy methods to address your problem. Stick with the therapy plan until your change process is complete. Simply hoping the anxiety will someday go away is not a plan.

          6. Commit to Action

          It is wonderful to set a goal for change and to write it down, but if you don’t act, then your mental commitment means nothing. There is no actual commitment unless action follows. To best kick start our change, the key is to act now[3].

          For example, if you committed to lose 50lbs, then now is the time to go join a gym, hire a trainer, and walk into a weight loss clinic to get support. We can make up our mind to be determined to change, but if action does not follow soon thereafter, then you will likely fail.

          If you wait until later that week, you will get caught up in doing your daily routine, things for works, taking care of others, or whatever it may be; there will be distractions that will derail you from taking action later. There is no better time to take action than when you make the decision to change.

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          For example, if you decide you want to finally write that book that is in your mind, but you don’t have a working laptop, then go and get a laptop today. Then, set aside an hour each day after work (and on your calendar) so that you can write. Instead of going out with friends after work, you are committing to achieve this goal, and you have time set aside to make that goal happen.

          7. Find a Support System

          When people want to change, finding a support system is key. A great way to find support is through group therapy or support groups. If you have a substance abuse issue, for example, you can find groups that specialize is supporting you through recovery and change.

          If you prefer to find support in the comfort of your own home, then you can look for online support forums and Facebook groups that deal with whatever change you are looking to pursue.

          Your ability to be successful in change is dependent on your ability to dive in; support systems help you with the initial dive and staying committed thereafter. and will help you stay committed to the process. Don’t underestimate the power you have by partnering with others who are seeking the same change.

          8. Get Uncomfortable

          Change should be uncomfortable. You are entering new territory and stepping out of your comfort zone. Your mind and past habits will be resistant to the change, as it is uncomfortable and difficult.

          If you give up because of the discomfort, then you are destined to fail in your pursuit of change. Embrace the discomfort associated with change and recognize that it puts you one step closer to accomplishing your goals.

          9. Stick to the Plan

          When people decide to change, sticking to it is difficult. If you get derailed from your plan, don’t berate yourself. Instead, allow yourself some margin of error and then get back on track.

          You can’t expect to go on a diet without splurging sometimes. The key is “sometimes.” The sooner you get back on track, the more successful you will be in accomplishing your change goals.

          Other researchers on the topic of change believe this process is about dedication and commitment to the change desired in our day to day lives, as Douglas LaBier from the Huffington Post so aptly stated:[4]

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          “Change occurs from awareness of what aspects of our personality we want to develop, and working hard to “practice” them in daily life.”

          Here are some tips on sticking to a plan:

          Engage in Self-Reflection

          Reflect on things that have derailed you in the past and problem solve them before they happen.

          Jot down those things that tend to get you off track. Now, list ways to combat the derailments before they happen. For example, if you are wanting to lose weight but you work late hours, then commit to morning workouts.

          If you know that in the past you would continually hit the snooze button and subsequently miss the workouts, then hire a trainer for early morning workouts. You are less likely to miss your workout if you have real money attached to it and someone counting on you to show up. You could also schedule morning workouts with a friend, so you know there is someone showing up and you don’t want to let them down.

          Brainstorm solutions for your past derailments so that this time around you are ready to stick to the plan and the commitment you have made to change.

          Define Your Commitment

          Commitment is a daily mental and physical plight when it comes to change. If your commitment is to lose weight, then be specific about how you are going to achieve your change. For example, you decide you are going to stick to 1,800 calories a day and a 1-hour workout every day.

          Then, write those goals down and chart your daily progress. Hold yourself accountable.

          Final Thoughts

          Can people change? Hopefully, by now, you believe that they can. If you have a sense of commitment and persistence, change is possible with any life experience.

          Start small, create specific goals, and don’t wait to get started. You’ll be amazed how far change will take you.

          More on How to Make Changes in Your Life

          Featured photo credit: Jurica Koletić via unsplash.com

          Reference

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