Advertising
Advertising

How to Smile to Be More Attractive

How to Smile to Be More Attractive

Usually, smiling indicates a positive, approachable and likeable person. It can send your attraction levels soaring from the perspective of another and create an emotional, often subconscious, reaction within them.

But do all smiles have this effect? Is a simple smile really going to instantly up your attractiveness? Well, it depends. The type of smile you give and the situation you give it in, can make a difference to how it’s interpreted.

A smile can also make you less reliable

Yes, research has found that people who smile more are considered more attractive and likeable. While those who give the impression of looking sad tend to be seen as less approachable. It could be a case of face shape and the mouth naturally sitting in a down-mouth expression. When we’re not consciously thinking about smiling or actually feeling inner sadness, our faces can send out the signal of keep away.

But the opposite can also be a problem. If you smile too much, say in a formal situation such as a business meeting, you can actually come across as being less reliable.

So how can we smile in the right way and at the right time to give the best impression?

Human brains can’t really differentiate if a smile is fake or real most of the time

When it comes to social situations, you can never really smile too much. This is because your aim is to exude your confidence and positivity towards others. It’s a type of human bonding in order to carry on interactions and become part of the pack.

Advertising

If you’re a person who often gets comments about always looking angry, sad or standoffish, it can be frustrating especially when you’re not particularly feeling those emotions as you go through your day.

The key is to practice fake smiling. It may sound ridiculous but most people can’t actually differentiate fake smiles from real ones in an ongoing interaction.

It’s been found [1] that the act of smiling – even if fake – tricks the part of your brain associated with happiness and releasing endorphins. The brain can’t differentiate between the physical act of fake smiling or real smiling – to your brain, it’s the same. So when you practice fake smiling the brain thinks you’re happy, and if done enough times will eventually create a genuine, happy smile.

Men perceive women’s smile as “humor”

As a woman, your smile and laugh are extremely powerful in the attraction process. Of course this applies to both sexes, but a man, in particular, responds in a certain way to the positive nature of a smile and a laugh.

In a man’s mind, humor is essential in attracting a woman. If he can make her laugh, he feels he’s succeeding. If you like a guy, use this to your advantage. Smile and laugh that little bit more at his jokes if you want to increase his attraction for you.

What also happens when you smile and laugh more in a guy’s presence, is that he actually interprets your laughter as you being humorous. In other words, in his eyes you don’t have to crack hilarious jokes to be funny but actually just think his jokes are hilarious.

Advertising

Different types of smile and their effects

We all want to be liked in different situations, and our smile is the one simple weapon we have to achieve this. So what are the different ways we can use our smile to get optimal results?

The ‘Sideways Look Up’ Smile: Both men and women will love you

    Image credit

    This type of smile is considered the most attractive to both men and women. For men, it evokes masculine feelings of protection while women will naturally feel warmth towards you.

    Why? Because the smiler instantly comes across as child-like, playful and secretive. For men, this creates parental male feelings, making them want to care for you and this can be the basis of attraction between potential couples. It’s coy and a people-pleaser which is why Princess Diana, who naturally used this type of smile, was able to captivate the hearts of the people.

    Want to Appear Open? Avoid The ‘Tight-Lipped’ Smile

    Advertising

      Image credit

      Think back to situations when someone’s smile has evoked a feeling of uneasiness. Most times their smile has been tight-lipped – concealed teeth and lips stretched tight across the face.

      Depending on whether you’re a man or a woman, you may interpret this differently. Women tend to use this much more and are usually a sign they are trying not to reveal their true, often negative, feelings. Other women tend to interpret this as a sign of rejection or a withheld opinion causing them to become cautious. Men, on the other hand, can be more oblivious to its meaning.

      If your intention is to remain mysterious and promote a sense of curiosity in another person, then this type of smile may work but use it with caution. Most people react better to how open you appear which will mean smiling more with your teeth showing.

      Get Playful With the ‘Drop Jaw’ Smile

        Image credit

        Advertising

        This kind of smile isn’t necessarily natural but if done in the right way will allow you to appear like you’re laughing and more playful.

        When you smile, simply drop your jaw down by opening the mouth up more. You may have seen this technique in clowns usually using face paint to exaggerate the open smile.

        There are certain situations where using this type of smile can be to your benefit. If you want to come across as more friendly – say, as a boss wanting to be more open and friendly to your staff – this is the perfect technique. However, be aware that using the drop-jaw smile in a more authoritative setting is best to be avoided as it gives off the wrong impression and could make people believe you’re not to be taken too seriously.

        So try to be more aware of your smiling. Ask yourself do you smile enough? If not practice fake smiling. Think about the situations and how your smile is being interpreted. Being aware of using the right smile at the right time can significantly increase your social, romantic and career goals.

        Reference

        More by this author

        Anna Chui

        Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

        The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering This 4-Year Old Girl’s Explanation On the Problem with New Year’s Resolutions Is Everything You Need What You Really Need to Feel Secure in a Relationship 12 Simple Ways You Can Build A Positive Attitude

        Trending in Psychology

        1 The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected 2 Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering 3 How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful 4 How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind 5 How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising
        Advertising

        Last Updated on February 28, 2019

        The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected

        The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected

        Admit it, you feel good when other people think you’re nice. Maybe you were complimented by a stranger saying that you had a nice outfit. You felt good about yourself and you were happy for the rest of the day.

          We all like to feel liked, whether by a stranger or a loved one. It makes you feel valued and that feeling can be addictive. But when the high wears off and you no longer have validation that someone thinks you’re a good, sweet person, you may feel insecure and lacking. While wanting others to like you isn’t in itself a bad thing, it can be like a disease when you feel that you constantly need to be liked by others.

          Humans are wired to want to be liked.

          It’s human nature to seek approval from others. In ancient times, we needed acceptance to survive. Humans are social animals and we need to bond with others and form a community to survive. If we are not liked by others, we will be left out.

          Babies are born to be cute and be liked by adults.

            The large rounded head, big forehead, large eyes, chubby cheeks, and a rounded body. Babies can’t survive without an adult taking care of them. It’s vital for adults to find babies lovely to pay attention to them and divert energy towards them.[1]

            Advertising

            Recognitions have always been given by others.

              From the time you were a child, whether at school or at home, you have been receiving recognition from external parties. For instance, you received grades from teachers, and if you wanted something, you needed approval from your parents. We’ve learned to get what we want by catering to other people’s expectations. Maybe you wanted to get a higher grade in art so you’d be more attentive in art classes than others to impress your teacher. Your teacher would have a generally good impression on you and would likely to give you a higher grade.

              When you grow up, it’s no different. Perhaps you are desperate to get your work done so you do things that your manager would approve. Or maybe you try to impress your date by doing things they like but you don’t really like.

              Facebook and Instagram have only made things worse. People posting their photos and sharing about their life on Instagram just to feels so good to get more likes and attention.

              Being liked becomes essential to reaching desires.

                We start to get hyper focused on how others see us, and it’s easy to imagine having the spotlight on you at all time. People see you and they take an interest in you. This feels good. In turn, you start doing more things that bring you more attention. It’s all positive until you do something they don’t like and you receive criticism. When this happens, you spiral because you’ve lost the feeling of acceptance.

                Advertising

                But the reality is this is all just perception. Humans, as a species, are selfish. We are all just looking at ourselves; we only perceive others are giving us their focus. Even for those who please others are actually focusing on making themselves feel good. It’s like an optical illusion for your ego.

                  The desire to be liked is an endless chase.

                    Aiming to please others in order to feel better will exhaust you because you can never catch up with others’ expectation.

                    The ideal image will always change.

                    It used to be ideal to have a fair weight, a little bit fat was totally acceptable. Then it’s ideal to be very slim. Recently we’ve seen “dad-bods” getting some positive attention. But this is already quickly changing. In fact, a recent article from Men’s Health asked 100 women if they would date a guy who had a dad-bod, about 50% of women claimed to not care either way, only 15% exclusively date men with a “dad bod”.[2]

                    People’s expectations on you can be wrong.

                    Most people put their expectations on others based on what’s right in the social norms, yet the social norms are created by humans in which 80% of them are just ordinary people according to the 80/20 rules.[3]

                    Advertising

                    Think about it, every day, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep, you filter what you believe to be truth. If someone compliments you, you take it and add it to an idea of what the best version of yourself is. When someone criticizes you, even in a destructive way, you might accept it altogether, or add it to a list of things you’re insecure about. When you absorb the wrong opinion from others, you will either sabotage your self-esteem or overestimate yourself by accepting all the good compliments and stop growing; or accepting all the destructive criticisms and sabotage your own self-esteem and happiness.

                    Others’ desires are not the same as yours.

                      If you live your life as one long effort of trying to please other people, you will never be happy. You’re always going to rely on others to make you feel worth living. This leads to total confusion when it comes to your personal goals; when there’s no external recognition, you don’t know what to live for.

                      The only person to please is yourself.

                        Think of others’ approval as fuel and think of yourself as a car. When that fuel runs out, you can’t function. This is not a healthy mindset.

                        In reality, we’re human and we can create our own fuel. You can feel good based on how much you like yourself. When you do things to make you like yourself more, you can start to see a big change in your opinion. For example, if being complimented by others made you feel good and accepted, look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Say what you wish others would say about you.

                        Advertising

                        Internal approval takes practice, but it’s worth the effort. You have to re-train your own mind. Think of the dog who knows there is food when the bell rings, the reflex is hard wired into the dog.[4] We need our own triggers to reinforce the habit of internal approval too. Recognize yourself every day instead of waiting for people to do it for you, check out in this article the steps to take to recognize your own achievements and gain empowerment: Don’t Wait for People to Praise You. Do It Yourself Every Single Day

                        Notice that when you start to focus on yourself and what to do to make yourself happy, others may criticize you. Since you’ve stopped trying to please others to meet their expectations, they may judge you for what you do. Be critical about what they say about you. They aren’t always right but so are you. Everyone has blind spots. Let go of biased and subjective comments but be humble and open to useful advice that will improve you.

                        Remember that you are worth it, every day. It will take time to stop relying on others to make you feel important and worth something, but the sooner you start trying, the happier and healthier you will be.

                        Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

                        Reference

                        Read Next