Advertising
Advertising

My Secret for Overcoming Resistance and Transforming My Life

My Secret for Overcoming Resistance and Transforming My Life

How you feel about your life right now is likely going to be how you will feel about it until your time on earth is over, unless: you either have a near death experience or you go through a time that’s dramatic enough to shock you into truly wanting to transform your life.

Most of the 500 or more entrepreneurs (male, female and of all ages) who have received transformational coaching from me, and subsequently seen their life transform to new heights, expressed that, before then, no matter how hard they worked to break out of it, they had a frustrating sense of ‘sameness’ about their life.

What It Takes to Transform Your Life

One client I coached recently was a property investor. He’d built up his business over 10 years to enable him to travel across South America.

Problem was, he always had something getting in the way that he had to handle to run the business. It was exhausting for him.

In receiving coaching from me he became aware of an event that happened when he was 7 years old. He was meeting his extended family in a restaurant in India for the first time. His mother guided him into the communal toilets and he asked, “Mom, where is the toilet?”

She then pointed at the cubicles that had no doors, holes in the ground instead of toilets and people taking their turn while in full view of everyone else and said, “That is the toilet!”

At the time he became scared and realized he was thinking, “I’m not safe.” And this was the way he interpreted the world. From that moment onwards the world was ‘I’m not safe’.

Advertising

Through his life and times in business, this caused him to choose ‘safety’ above all. As a result, he created stable investment opportunities that grew over 10 years and enabled him to own six large properties, but the problem was that this very interpretation (which became a way of being) was now the very thing that was also holding him back from growing his business or enjoying the fruits of his labour.

Once he awakened to see this interpretation, he got that he didn’t have to be ‘I’m not safe’ any longer and micromanage everything. With further coaching, he began answering the question, “What would it actually take for me to create my business to enable me to travel to South America?” So he systemized each business process. As a result, within a few months of the first session, he packed his bags and left to fulfil his dream ambition (that he’d had for over 10 years) of travelling across South America.

He’s since posted photographs of this trip on Facebook, and on returning to the UK, left again a few weeks later to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Now he is back in the UK and looking at travelling across Japan. He’s since also managed to expand his business and is on track for greater profits than ever before from rental income. His life has transformed completely.

So what will it take for you to overcome your resistance to doing the deeper work? To see what interpretations you’ve made about yourself and the world around you? Also to see how they may be holding you back from taking those important actions?

If you want to access a new level of satisfaction through your work, elevate the quality of your life and find a deeper sense of freedom, doing this deeper transformational work is the only way.

Why the Resistance Is So Strong

You and any other entrepreneur out there are only going to succeed when you change how you are ‘being’, as this is where the actions that you take arise from. But why is it so difficult to change how we are being and in turn change the actions we take? The reason is that when we set out to realize an ambition, we are faced with a period of ‘latency’ before the results show.

In this period of latency we are faced with the unknown, and the reptilian part of our brain is wired to ensure that we never fail again. So it viciously reminds us of all the things we’ve failed at and ensures that we don’t take actions that may result in us experiencing those failures again. The result is, the resistance to change dominates us, we remain in (seemingly chosen) procrastination and we subconsciously avoid doing the deeper inner transformational work.

Advertising

This then results in many (and possibly you) spinning in a sense of ‘sameness’.

So how are we to conquer this? Firstly understand that your brain is wired to predominantly survive. Understand that your brain will consistently avoid you ever taking actions that could cause you to experience more moments of failure again.

Once you grasp this, you are then aware that your attention is usually on what could go wrong rather than on a new, possible and inspirational future.

Risk assessment need not be cast aside completely; however, we cannot have this as the primary driver because it’s a state of survival which causes our creative mind to shut down.

Once this happens, most people report entering a ‘Groundhog Day’ sensation- that every day feels the same and they can’t see a way out. Once we take our mind off ‘surviving’ and instead begin to practise seeing the tiny successes that we have every day, we then move from a state of survival and into a state of ‘creation’. This is a relaxed state of being that allows us to see opportunity, to think innovatively and become inspired as we begin to envision a whole new and inspirational future.

If you commit to this way of thinking, you’ll shift your mindset from one of looking for what you can ‘survive’ to one of looking for opportunities to ‘create’. Once you practise this, you’ll begin to notice the incremental successes every day. This will cause you to feel inspired about yourself and your abilities; you’ll then find it much easier to take those important actions and will begin awakening yourself to the wonders of what you are truly capable of again.

5 Transformational Steps

Here are 5 easy to follow yet powerfully transformational steps you can take to begin to break through the resistance required to transform your life.

Advertising

1. Imagine Living the Dream

Imagine you took every action you knew to take and that you made the most of every single opportunity that came your way and that you are now three years from today. Write (or type) a short story of living through a perfect ‘average’ day if you were ‘living the dream’.

Include where you wake up? Who with? What car do you drive? How many clients do you work with? How much are you earning? How do your clients feel receiving your products or services? What do you do in the afternoons? What do you do for fun? How do the people you know celebrate you? As you write this down, forget the world and let go, and have fun with it.

2. Bedtime Routine

Place this written piece of text next to your bed (possibly print and laminate it) and read it EVERY night before you go to sleep and every morning before you rise up out of bed.

You can also read more about bedtime routine here: Poor Sleep Quality Comes from All the Things You Do Since Morning

3. Powerful Action

In your diary, write down the three very most important actions that you are going to complete this week and when to begin powerfully moving you along your path to realizing this dream lifestyle.

Find out How Simply Jotting Down Ideas Can Make You Smarter.

4. Keep the Dream Alive

As you write these actions down, keep ‘alive’ the sensations you felt about what it will be like when you master this dream lifestyle and why you’re taking these actions each week. You MUST keep the reason ‘why’ you do what you do every day alive or you will lose motivation and go back to a sense of ‘sameness’ again.

Advertising

Read more to find out how to stay motivated when it’s difficult to reach your dreams: Pursuing Dreams is Like an Iceberg. Most People Only See the Tip of it.

5. Consistent Action

From now on and on a weekly basis – on Sunday evenings is great – write the next three very most important actions to take during the coming week.

The only way you will break out of a sense of ‘sameness’ and through the resistance to transform your life is if you work to become so inspired that you want to change. This exercise, if applied effectively, will enable this. All the people who have achieved great things did so by allowing themselves to dream really big yet then took consistent tiny, tiny daily actions.

Building habits is all about the small things you do consistently, here’s another article about How to Program Your Mind to Build the Habit You Want

If you apply this exercise, you will see results. You’ll see things beginning to shift, things beginning to move. This will empower you and before long you’ll begin to see your dream lifestyle begin to form before your eyes.

More by this author

Dan Warburton

Transformational Coach

My Secret for Overcoming Resistance and Transforming My Life

Trending in Productivity

1 8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More 2 How Exercising Makes You More Productive 3 10 Practical Ways to Drastically Improve Your Time Management Skills 4 15 Highly Successful People Who Failed On Their Way To Success 5 How to Memorize More and Faster Than Other People

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 20, 2018

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more.

Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.

When you train your brain, you will:

  • Avoid embarrassing situations. You remember his face, but what was his name?
  • Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills. No problem for you to pick up a new language or new management skill.
  • Avoid diseases that hit as you get older. Alzheimer’s will not be affecting you.

So how to train your brain and improve your cognitive skills?

1. Work your memory

Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout:

When she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down.

If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.

The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies.

Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.

Advertising

Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.

What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.

For example, say you just met someone new:

“Hi, my name is George”

Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.”

Got it? Good.

2. Do something different repeatedly

By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.

Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess.

It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does.

Advertising

And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!

But how does this apply to your life right now?

Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.

Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!”

Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.

So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?

You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.

That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.

3. Learn something new

It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you.

Advertising

For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).

Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.

You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?

4. Follow a brain training program

The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.

5. Work your body

You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.

Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.

Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss.

Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.

6. Spend time with your loved ones

If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life.  Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.

Advertising

If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.

I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.

7. Avoid crossword puzzles

Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves.

Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.

Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity

8. Eat right – and make sure dark chocolate is included

Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.

When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions.

So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!

The bottom line

Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing.

Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Read Next