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Last Updated on August 31, 2017

My Secret for Overcoming Resistance and Transforming My Life

My Secret for Overcoming Resistance and Transforming My Life

How you feel about your life right now is likely going to be how you will feel about it until your time on earth is over, unless: you either have a near death experience or you go through a time that’s dramatic enough to shock you into truly wanting to transform your life.

Most of the 500 or more entrepreneurs (male, female and of all ages) who have received transformational coaching from me, and subsequently seen their life transform to new heights, expressed that, before then, no matter how hard they worked to break out of it, they had a frustrating sense of ‘sameness’ about their life.

What It Takes to Transform Your Life

One client I coached recently was a property investor. He’d built up his business over 10 years to enable him to travel across South America.

Problem was, he always had something getting in the way that he had to handle to run the business. It was exhausting for him.

In receiving coaching from me he became aware of an event that happened when he was 7 years old. He was meeting his extended family in a restaurant in India for the first time. His mother guided him into the communal toilets and he asked, “Mom, where is the toilet?”

She then pointed at the cubicles that had no doors, holes in the ground instead of toilets and people taking their turn while in full view of everyone else and said, “That is the toilet!”

At the time he became scared and realized he was thinking, “I’m not safe.” And this was the way he interpreted the world. From that moment onwards the world was ‘I’m not safe’.

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Through his life and times in business, this caused him to choose ‘safety’ above all. As a result, he created stable investment opportunities that grew over 10 years and enabled him to own six large properties, but the problem was that this very interpretation (which became a way of being) was now the very thing that was also holding him back from growing his business or enjoying the fruits of his labour.

Once he awakened to see this interpretation, he got that he didn’t have to be ‘I’m not safe’ any longer and micromanage everything. With further coaching, he began answering the question, “What would it actually take for me to create my business to enable me to travel to South America?” So he systemized each business process. As a result, within a few months of the first session, he packed his bags and left to fulfil his dream ambition (that he’d had for over 10 years) of travelling across South America.

He’s since posted photographs of this trip on Facebook, and on returning to the UK, left again a few weeks later to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Now he is back in the UK and looking at travelling across Japan. He’s since also managed to expand his business and is on track for greater profits than ever before from rental income. His life has transformed completely.

So what will it take for you to overcome your resistance to doing the deeper work? To see what interpretations you’ve made about yourself and the world around you? Also to see how they may be holding you back from taking those important actions?

If you want to access a new level of satisfaction through your work, elevate the quality of your life and find a deeper sense of freedom, doing this deeper transformational work is the only way.

Why the Resistance Is So Strong

You and any other entrepreneur out there are only going to succeed when you change how you are ‘being’, as this is where the actions that you take arise from. But why is it so difficult to change how we are being and in turn change the actions we take? The reason is that when we set out to realize an ambition, we are faced with a period of ‘latency’ before the results show.

In this period of latency we are faced with the unknown, and the reptilian part of our brain is wired to ensure that we never fail again. So it viciously reminds us of all the things we’ve failed at and ensures that we don’t take actions that may result in us experiencing those failures again. The result is, the resistance to change dominates us, we remain in (seemingly chosen) procrastination and we subconsciously avoid doing the deeper inner transformational work.

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This then results in many (and possibly you) spinning in a sense of ‘sameness’.

So how are we to conquer this? Firstly understand that your brain is wired to predominantly survive. Understand that your brain will consistently avoid you ever taking actions that could cause you to experience more moments of failure again.

Once you grasp this, you are then aware that your attention is usually on what could go wrong rather than on a new, possible and inspirational future.

Risk assessment need not be cast aside completely; however, we cannot have this as the primary driver because it’s a state of survival which causes our creative mind to shut down.

Once this happens, most people report entering a ‘Groundhog Day’ sensation- that every day feels the same and they can’t see a way out. Once we take our mind off ‘surviving’ and instead begin to practise seeing the tiny successes that we have every day, we then move from a state of survival and into a state of ‘creation’. This is a relaxed state of being that allows us to see opportunity, to think innovatively and become inspired as we begin to envision a whole new and inspirational future.

If you commit to this way of thinking, you’ll shift your mindset from one of looking for what you can ‘survive’ to one of looking for opportunities to ‘create’. Once you practise this, you’ll begin to notice the incremental successes every day. This will cause you to feel inspired about yourself and your abilities; you’ll then find it much easier to take those important actions and will begin awakening yourself to the wonders of what you are truly capable of again.

5 Transformational Steps

Here are 5 easy to follow yet powerfully transformational steps you can take to begin to break through the resistance required to transform your life.

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1. Imagine Living the Dream

Imagine you took every action you knew to take and that you made the most of every single opportunity that came your way and that you are now three years from today. Write (or type) a short story of living through a perfect ‘average’ day if you were ‘living the dream’.

Include where you wake up? Who with? What car do you drive? How many clients do you work with? How much are you earning? How do your clients feel receiving your products or services? What do you do in the afternoons? What do you do for fun? How do the people you know celebrate you? As you write this down, forget the world and let go, and have fun with it.

2. Bedtime Routine

Place this written piece of text next to your bed (possibly print and laminate it) and read it EVERY night before you go to sleep and every morning before you rise up out of bed.

You can also read more about bedtime routine here: Poor Sleep Quality Comes from All the Things You Do Since Morning

3. Powerful Action

In your diary, write down the three very most important actions that you are going to complete this week and when to begin powerfully moving you along your path to realizing this dream lifestyle.

Find out How Simply Jotting Down Ideas Can Make You Smarter.

4. Keep the Dream Alive

As you write these actions down, keep ‘alive’ the sensations you felt about what it will be like when you master this dream lifestyle and why you’re taking these actions each week. You MUST keep the reason ‘why’ you do what you do every day alive or you will lose motivation and go back to a sense of ‘sameness’ again.

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Read more to find out how to stay motivated when it’s difficult to reach your dreams: Pursuing Dreams is Like an Iceberg. Most People Only See the Tip of it.

5. Consistent Action

From now on and on a weekly basis – on Sunday evenings is great – write the next three very most important actions to take during the coming week.

The only way you will break out of a sense of ‘sameness’ and through the resistance to transform your life is if you work to become so inspired that you want to change. This exercise, if applied effectively, will enable this. All the people who have achieved great things did so by allowing themselves to dream really big yet then took consistent tiny, tiny daily actions.

Building habits is all about the small things you do consistently, here’s another article about How to Program Your Mind to Build the Habit You Want

If you apply this exercise, you will see results. You’ll see things beginning to shift, things beginning to move. This will empower you and before long you’ll begin to see your dream lifestyle begin to form before your eyes.

More by this author

Dan Warburton

Transformational Coach

My Secret for Overcoming Resistance and Transforming My Life

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How to Increase Brain Power: 10 Simple Ways to Train Your Brain

How to Increase Brain Power: 10 Simple Ways to Train Your Brain

How often do you think about your brain? Do you ever stop to marvel at its incredible power and supreme cleverness? Or at least check in and give it a little spring clean and a recharge it from time to time?

If you’re like the majority, then your answer will likely be “no”.

Astoundingly, we only use around 10% of our brains yet we seldom think to invest in a little training every now and then.

For a long time, scientists believed that we were stuck with the brain we were born with! Luckily for us, that hypothesis has gone out the window!

Enter neuroplasticity – a new theory that has proven one very incredible fact: Our brains can change.

This means, if you’re not very intelligent in one area – that’s OK! You have the option to literally ‘change that area of your brain’ through some little trainings.

Your brain is a muscle. You need to exercise it regularly.

The exciting thing is that you don’t have to be a millionaire to increase your brain capacity. All you need to do is invest some time to regularly train your brain.

So how to increase brain power?

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Here are 10 simple ways to increase your brain power and improve your intelligence!

1. Do something new

When you experience something ‘new’, that actually ‘stimulate’ your brain!

Don’t get stuck in a rut doing the same old things – the only way to change the structure of your brain is to do something new. This creates new neural pathways, increasing your intelligence level.

You could take a new route to work, try a new recipe for dinner, or even a new form of exercise – mix them up!

2. Ditch the GPS

Gone are the days of map reading! Sat Nav may have made our lives easier, it has also made our brains lazier and less efficient at the same time!

Go back to the old school and use a map to navigate every now and then. This exercises the part of your brain responsible for understanding spatial relationships.

3. Ban the calculator

Remember back at school when we were taught to use our brains to do simple sums like times tables? It’s incredible how we now rely on devices like smart-phones and laptops to calculate really simple equations.

Resist the urge to work things out using an external device and use the device you were born with – your brain!

4. Be curious

Instead of taking everything at face value, get into the habit of questioning everyday things/products, services that you come into contact with.

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By being ‘curious’ and questioning everything, you force your brain to innovate and create new ideas.

Curiosity may have killed that cat but it created super important things like electricity and computers!

5. Think positive

Stress and anxiety kill existing brain neurons and also stop new neurons from being created.

Research has shown that positive thinking, especially in the future tense, speeds up the creation of cells and dramatically reduces stress and anxiety.

Try and get a handle on negative thoughts and make an effort to replace them with positive ones.

Not sure how to do it? Take a look at this article:

How to Turn Off Negative Thoughts in Your Mind

6. Exercise regularly

It’s been proven that regular exercise helps to increase brain function and enhances neurogenesis. This means that every time you exercise, you are creating new brain cells!

Here’re 5 Ways to Find Time for Exercise, get off the couch and get moving!

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Your brain will thank you for it.

7. Train your memory

How often do you hear people say “I wish I had a better memory!’ Yet no-one does anything about this!

If you discipline yourself to memorize phone numbers and other important numbers (passport, credit card, insurance, driving license) you will start to see a marked improvement in your memory.

8. Eat healthy

Our diets have a HUGE impact on brain function. Our brains consume over 20% of all nutrients & oxygen that we consumed – so remember to feed your brain with the good stuff! (i.e. fresh fruit and veg & plenty of OMEGA 3 oils found in oily fish)

Here’re more healthy foods that will boost your brain power:

10 Healthy Foods That Make You Smarter

9. Read a book

Reading relieves tension and stress, which is brain-cell killers because it’s a form of escapism.

Research has also shown that using your imagination is a great way to train your brain because you force your mind to ‘picture’ what you are imagining. Reading is a great way to trigger your imagination!

Reading every day helps your thinking and imagination, learn more about it here:

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10 Benefits of Reading: Why You Should Read Every Day

10. Get enough sleep

Sleep is like a mini detox for the brain. This is when your body regenerates cells and removes all the toxins that have built up during the day.

Get to bed between the hours of 9pm and midnight to benefit from the most effective hours of sleep!

If you have difficulty sleeping, you should read this guide:

The Ultimate Night Routine Guide: Sleep Better and Wake Up Productive

An intelligent brain comes from hard work

If you do take my suggestion and do these things consistently, you’ll soon realize your brain is sharper and you can remember more stuff.

You don’t need to do everything all at once, pick one to two and start making them your daily habit.

Intelligence comes from hard work. Make effort to train your brain and you’ll become smarter.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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