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Subtle Eye Gestures That Can Help You Earn the Trust of Others

Subtle Eye Gestures That Can Help You Earn the Trust of Others

Human beings are the only primates that show the whites of their eyes. This gives us a unique range of possible signals that we can communicate with just our eyes. By knowing what different eye signals mean, and how to make those signals, we can more effectively get others to trust us and like us instantaneously.

Contracted Pupils versus Dilated Pupils

    You may have noticed that your pupils contract (get smaller) or dilate (get larger) when your mood changes. When you get excited about something, your pupils can actually dilate up to four times their original size – that’s pretty drastic!

    Conversely, an angry or negative mood can cause your pupils to contract a lot. You probably have angry coworkers or friends who complain to you: next time they do, notice how their pupils become “beady” or like “snake eyes.”

    Say you want to dilate your pupils on purpose to convey your interest or excitement in what someone else is talking about. How can you do this intentionally? Thankfully there’s an easy trick: Un-focus your eyes, blurring your vision as much as you can. You’ll know you’re doing this correctly if your eyes feel very relaxed.

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    Make the “eyebrow flash”

      The “eyebrow flash” is an unconscious eyebrow raise that lasts about 1/5 of a second: it’s a subtle but effective gesture that signals a long-distance “hello!” Normally, you don’t raise your eyebrows to greet a random stranger you pass on the street. But if you do want to get to know a stranger, try this friendly and simple gesture! You’ll likely find that they’ll return the eyebrow flash and smile; some will even come over to strike up a conversation.

      Keep your eyes open and avoid frowning

      It’s easy to allow our resting eyes to half-close and our faces to droop into a frown, especially when we’re preoccupied with something. But recent studies have found [1] that these habits make us appear as though we’re tired and in a bad mood. People associate exhaustion with poor cognitive performance. So it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise that if you don’t look alert, people will unconsciously assume that you’re less intelligent.

      Long story short: Keep your eyes looking bright and that face smiling!

      Use low OR high eyebrows to signal authority or submission

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        Low-set eyebrows signal authority. John F. Kennedy had what are known as “medially down-turned” eyebrows, which gave his face a permanently authoritative (and concerned) look that appealed to voters.

          If you don’t already have low-set eyebrows, but you want to project authority, you can make your eyebrows thicker. This will shorten the distance between your eyes and the eyebrows and thereby create the illusion you have low set eyebrows.

          By contrast, you can take advantage of high or arched eyebrows to signal submission or sexiness. Scarlett Johansson’s eyebrows, while thick, are high and arched. If you don’t already have high eyebrows and want to signal sexiness, consider getting them sculpted or shaped to achieve this look.

          Narrow your eyelids and focus your gaze to establish authority

          Many of us need to project our authority from time to time, whether it’s as a manager speaking to employees or a teacher speaking to a large class. If you have naturally soft eyes, but want to project authority, practice the “Power Stare.”

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          Try not to blink excessively while you maintain eye contact. Narrow your eyelids and focus closely on the other person. By doing this, you are demonstrating that you are utterly unintimidated, and that you are establishing your dominance.

          In fact, this is exactly what predatory animals do just before they strike their prey. While you probably plan to use this gaze in the workplace or in much calmer social scenarios, the effect can be useful from time to time.

          To signal submissiveness, lower the head and look up

            Just as it can be useful to establish power and dominance, it’s equally important to know how to signal submission. Animals do this too in different ways: dogs sometimes expose their bellies to show that they are not trying to pose a threat to other, larger dogs. Projecting submissiveness is a method of gaining another person’s trust.

            If you want to try it out, lower your head just slightly and look up. This makes your eyes appear larger and more “innocent” or “childlike.” It’s easier to do this if you’re shorter than the other person, but if you’re the taller one, you can also try it out while you’re seated. Just make sure not to overdo this one – it can look less than subtle!

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            Don’t blink too frequently or too slowly

            Both over-blinking and under-blinking can be warning signs to others. People under pressure will often dramatically increase their blinking rate, while people who blink very slowly are unconsciously signaling that they are bored or feel superior to you. Strangers and friends alike will pick up on these signals. If you want to gain someone’s trust and respect, blink at a regular rate to show that you trust and respect them too.

            To establish strong, peer-to-peer rapport, hold eye contact about 60-70% of the time

            More than this can be unsettling, while less than appear overly meek. 60-70% is the sweet spot for an extended gaze that creates intimate feelings. This will encourage people to like and trust you.

            This is why you might find it hard to trust a nervous person who meets your gaze less than a third of the time. Think about this for yourself: you might be the kind of person who avoid eye contact, but make the attempt to hold enough to gain another person’s trust.

            Consider avoiding dark-tinted glasses as well, especially when you’re trying to establish a strong relationship with another person – either business or personal. The sunglasses will make others feel you are either staring at them or trying to avoid them.

            Reference

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            Brian Lee

            Chief of Product Management at Lifehack

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            Last Updated on March 17, 2020

            4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

            4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

            Are you bored at work right now?

            Sitting at your desk, wishing you could be anywhere other than here, doing anything else…?

            You’re not alone.

            Even when you have a job you love, it’s easy to get bored. And if your job isn’t something you’re passionate about, it’s even easier for boredom to creep in.

            Did you know it’s actually possible to make any job more interesting?

            That’s right.

            Whether it’s data entry or shelf stacking, even the most mind-numbing of jobs can be made more fun.

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            Understanding the science behind boredom is the first step to beating it.

            Read on to learn the truth about boredom, and what you can do to stop feeling bored at work for good.

            VIDEO SUMMARY

            I’m bored – as you’re watching the same film over and over again, even though it’s your favorite one

            When you experience something new, your brain releases opioids – chemicals which make you feel good. [1]

            It’s the feeling you might get when you taste a new food for the first time, watch a cool new film, or meet a new person.

            However, the next time you have the same experience, the brain processes it in a different way, without releasing so many feel-good chemicals.

            That’s why you won’t get the same thrill when you eat that delicious meal for the tenth time, rewatch that film again, or spend time with the same friend.

            So, in a nutshell, we get bored when we aren’t having any new experiences.

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            Now, new experiences don’t have to be huge life changes – they could be as simple as taking a different route to work, or picking a different sandwich shop for lunch.

            We’re going to apply this theory to your boring job.

            Keep reading find out how to make subtle changes to the way you work to defeat boredom and have more fun.

            Your work can be much more interesting if you learn these little tricks.

            Ready to learn how to stop feeling so bored at work?

            We’ve listed some simple suggestions below – you can start implementing these right now.

            Let’s do this.

            Make routine tasks more interesting by adding something new

            Sometimes one new element is all it takes to turn routine tasks from dull to interesting.

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            Maybe there’s a long drive you have to make every single week. You get so bored, going the same old route to make the same old deliveries.

            Why not make it a routine to create a playlist of new music each Sunday, to listen to on your boring drive during the week?

            Just like that, something you dread can be turned into the highlight of your day.

            For other routine tasks, you could try setting a timer and trying to beat your record, moving to a new location to complete the task, or trying out a new technique for getting the work done – you might even improve your productivity, too.

            Combine repetitive tasks to get them out of the way

            Certain tasks are difficult to make interesting, no matter how hard you try.

            Get these yawn-inducing chores out of the way ASAP by combining them into one quick, focused batch.

            For example, if you hate listening to meeting recordings, and dislike tidying your desk, do them both at the same time. You’ll halve the time you spend bored out of your mind, and can move onto more interesting tasks as soon as you’re done.

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            Break large tasks into small pieces and plan breaks between them

            Feeling overwhelmed can lead you to procrastinate and get bored. Try breaking up large tasks into lots of small pieces to keep things manageable and fun.

            Try breaking up a 10,000 word report into 1000-word sections. Reward yourself at the end of each section, and you’ll get 10 mini mood boosts, instead of just one at the end.

            You can also plan short breaks between each section, which will help to prevent boredom and keep you focused.

            Give yourself regular rewards, it can be anything that makes you feel good

            Make sure you reward yourself for achievements, even if they feel small.

            Rewards could include:

            • Eating your favourite snack.
            • Taking a walk in a natural area.
            • Spending a few minutes on a fun online game.
            • Buying yourself a small treat.
            • Visiting a new place.
            • Spending time on a favourite hobby.

            Your brain will come to associate work with fun rewards, and you’ll soon feel less bored and more motivated.

            Boredom doesn’t have to be a fact of life.

            Make your working life feel a thousand times more fun by following the simple tips above.

            Reference

            [1] Psychology Today: Why People Get Bored

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