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This is How You Can Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You

This is How You Can Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You

Dating is hard, mostly because it’s confusing. Have you ever been on a date where you thought things were going well, only to find out she’s just…not that into you?

Let’s say you’re on a first date, having a great conversation, and you find yourself immediately drawn to her. You might wonder if you should lean in closer, make a move to kiss her, or flirt a bit more to see if she’s into you. Or maybe you have a female friend you’re really attracted to, and are wondering if you should take that risky step of seeing if she’s interested in you, too.

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There’s nothing easy about putting your heart on the line. Rejection stings, especially when it seems like you are connecting romantically. I get that you want a guarantee that she’s interested before you make any advances, especially if she’s a friend. But that’s not how attraction works.

First, don’t make assumptions about how she feels. Just because you’re attracted and having a nice conversation doesn’t mean she’s open to your advances! If she asks you questions and shows general interest, this isn’t the same as attraction. It’s really important to pay attention to the other signs. If she doesn’t show an active interest with body language and flirting, trying to make a connection, she’s not interested in you. Women seek an emotional connection first. If she’s just acting nice, she’s not sending mixed signals, she’s telling you she’s not that into you!

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Women can be hard to read sometimes, but we do give signs when we’re interested in you.

She will look for ways to connect with you

There’s a difference between asking general questions to be polite and being genuinely curious. If a woman is interested, she will try to connect with you emotionally. She’ll want to know how you feel about things, not just your favorite movies and music. If she shares a personal story with you, that’s her way of letting you know she’s interested.

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Attraction starts with paying attention to the details – voice, gestures, eye contact, and body language in general. If she’s attracted to you, this is how she will communicate it – so take notice and reciprocate!

Laughs, listens and talks are fully present

A good way to tell if she’s attracted and not just laughing at your jokes out of kindness is whether or not she is distracted or fully present and engaged. If she’s looking around the room, at her wine glass, or commenting on her food, she’s not that interested. On the other hand, if she’s asking a lot of questions, is fully engaged in conversation with you, and even mimics your voice or gestures, she’s into you. Studies have shown that when two people feel attraction, they tend to imitate each other to show affection.

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Texts or calls you back right away

A sure sign she’s interested is if she is quick to respond to you, or if she reaches out and initiates conversation. Most women who aren’t interested let calls go to voicemail or take hours (or days) to respond to texts. Also, if she flirts and tries to engage with you over text (like pointing out something that reminded her of your date), rather than just answering your questions with a single sentence or phrase, this is another sign she’s interested in you.

Her body language says something too

When a woman is attracted to you, she leans in to engage in conversation, touches your arm, and has an open posture (arms to her sides and not crossed in front of her). She will remove barriers, like a purse, phone or a glass of wine from between you. This is a great way to tell if she feels attraction – she wants to be physically closer.

You will be her only focus 

Women aren’t afraid to make eye contact when they feel attracted to a man. A sure sign is if she lets her gaze linger on you, in which case she’s showing you her cards. Instead of looking around for outside distractions, she’s focused on you.

More by this author

Kelly Seal

Author, Dating Expert

The Break-Up Guide: We Promise To Get You Through This Stage By Stage This is How You Can Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You

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Last Updated on May 7, 2019

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Work in any competitive field long enough, and you’re bound to run into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s a powerful image. A shepherd watches over his flock to protect them from harm. He’d chase away any predator that tried to make its way into the flock. A clever wolf wearing the skin of a sheep as a disguise can sneak by the vigilant shepherd and get into the herd undetected.

The story isn’t just a colorful description–it’s a warning to all of us to beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They may seem innocent, but they have ulterior motives. They’ll use different tactics to camouflage their intentions.

The person who is kind to you, but undercuts you when you aren’t around is a wolf in disguise. A wolf in sheep’s clothing might pick your brain for ideas and then pass them off as their own to get a promotion. They’re always looking out for themselves at the expense of everyone around them.

Wearing a Disguise Has Its Advantages

People don’t go out of their way to manipulate others unless they’re getting something out of it. Hiding their intentions gives wolves the chance to manipulate other people to advance their own agenda. They know that what they’re trying to do wouldn’t be popular, or it might cause struggle if they presented themselves honestly.

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    They’ll be able to do what they want with less interference if they put on an act. By the time people figure out their true motives, the wolf has what it wants.

    Signs That Someone Is a Wolf in Disguise

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        1. They live to take power instead of empowering others. A wolf uses people as stepping stones to get the things that they want. They don’t care what happens to anyone else.[1] A wolf at work might make you look bad during a presentation to make themselves look amazing in front of the boss.
        2. Wolves seem sweet on the outside, but they’ll show you their teeth. If wolves revealed their true identity, people wouldn’t associate with them. They develop a friendly or kind persona, but they can’t keep up the act 24/7. Eventually, they’ll reveal their aggressive tendencies. A wealthy person who likes to break the law may make sizable charitable donations to convince people that they are kind and thoughtful. These donations largely keep them out of trouble, but if someone calls them out, they destroy that person’s reputation to stifle the criticism.
        3. They manipulate through emotions to get what they want. Wolves know that they can get ahead by appealing to your emotions. They find out what you want and need, and they give you just enough to keep you quiet and compliant. Imagine that your boss is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you want to ask for a vacation. She might try to play on your guilt and feelings of insecurity to get you to skip vacation or take fewer days off.
        4. A wolf will charm you first. Wolves are experts at manipulating the people around them. They appear interested in whatever you’re doing, and you’ll get the impression that they care. After they get you where they want you, they do just enough to keep you on the hook. This is the coworker who may start out being your friend, but they end up dumping responsibility onto you. When they see that you are growing frustrated, they’ll surprise you with something to charm you some more. Then, they’ll continue to do whatever they want.
        5. Their stories are full of holes.  Calling a wolf out is the surest way to make them squirm. When this person tries to come up with a story, it won’t make much sense because they are improvising.[2] The classic example of this is the significant other that you suspect has cheated on you. When you ask them why they came home so late, they’ll either become upset with you, or they’ll make up a weak explanation.

        How to Spot a Wolf

          Know What’s Real So You Can Spot the Phony

          Do some homework so that you have as much of the story as possible before you work with them. Research how they respond in certain situations, or give them hypothetical problems to see how they respond.

          A job applicant might tell you that she’s always positive and thinks of herself as a team-player. That’s what every employer wants to hear. During the interview you ask applicants to work in groups to solve a problem to see how they handle the situation. The applicant “positive team-player” is bossy and negative. You’ve spotted the wolf.

          A wolf will tell you something that ultimately benefits them. Gather evidence that proves or disproves their position, and see what happens. Chances are, when you choose the side that supports their agenda, they’ll act like your best friend. If you disagree, they’ll become aggressive.

          Spotting a potential wolf–especially if you are one of the sheep–can present you with some challenges. If your gut tells you that a wolf is lurking among all the other sheep, pay attention, and make sure you take the next step.

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          Ask Questions, the More the Better

          There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to uncover the truth. The safety of everyone in your group is at risk. Since wolves often make up stories, you may be able to call them out when their tales lack details.

          When they state an opinion, ask “Why do you think that?” or “How do you know it’s like that?” They’ll have trouble coming up with enough information to pull off the lie.

          Since wolves are always pretending to be something they aren’t, they don’t usually have a clearly thought-out reason for what they say. In a debate, they won’t understand the root of an issue.

          They may also tell you what they think you want to hear, but when pressed for more information, they won’t have anything to add. Their knowledge is superficial. No matter how much you try to encourage discussion, they will not be able to carry on a conversation about the subject.

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          Wolves Are Everywhere

          As much as we want to believe that everyone has the best intentions, it isn’t always the case. Some people only do things to benefit themselves, and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

          Wolves in sheep’s clothing can be found in almost every setting. You can’t get rid of them, but if you can spot them, you can avoid falling into their traps.

          Reference

          [1] Association of Biblical Counselors: Three Ways to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
          [2] Power of Positivity: Beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing

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