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This is How You Can Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You

This is How You Can Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You

Dating is hard, mostly because it’s confusing. Have you ever been on a date where you thought things were going well, only to find out she’s just…not that into you?

Let’s say you’re on a first date, having a great conversation, and you find yourself immediately drawn to her. You might wonder if you should lean in closer, make a move to kiss her, or flirt a bit more to see if she’s into you. Or maybe you have a female friend you’re really attracted to, and are wondering if you should take that risky step of seeing if she’s interested in you, too.

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There’s nothing easy about putting your heart on the line. Rejection stings, especially when it seems like you are connecting romantically. I get that you want a guarantee that she’s interested before you make any advances, especially if she’s a friend. But that’s not how attraction works.

First, don’t make assumptions about how she feels. Just because you’re attracted and having a nice conversation doesn’t mean she’s open to your advances! If she asks you questions and shows general interest, this isn’t the same as attraction. It’s really important to pay attention to the other signs. If she doesn’t show an active interest with body language and flirting, trying to make a connection, she’s not interested in you. Women seek an emotional connection first. If she’s just acting nice, she’s not sending mixed signals, she’s telling you she’s not that into you!

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Women can be hard to read sometimes, but we do give signs when we’re interested in you.

She will look for ways to connect with you

There’s a difference between asking general questions to be polite and being genuinely curious. If a woman is interested, she will try to connect with you emotionally. She’ll want to know how you feel about things, not just your favorite movies and music. If she shares a personal story with you, that’s her way of letting you know she’s interested.

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Attraction starts with paying attention to the details – voice, gestures, eye contact, and body language in general. If she’s attracted to you, this is how she will communicate it – so take notice and reciprocate!

Laughs, listens and talks are fully present

A good way to tell if she’s attracted and not just laughing at your jokes out of kindness is whether or not she is distracted or fully present and engaged. If she’s looking around the room, at her wine glass, or commenting on her food, she’s not that interested. On the other hand, if she’s asking a lot of questions, is fully engaged in conversation with you, and even mimics your voice or gestures, she’s into you. Studies have shown that when two people feel attraction, they tend to imitate each other to show affection.

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Texts or calls you back right away

A sure sign she’s interested is if she is quick to respond to you, or if she reaches out and initiates conversation. Most women who aren’t interested let calls go to voicemail or take hours (or days) to respond to texts. Also, if she flirts and tries to engage with you over text (like pointing out something that reminded her of your date), rather than just answering your questions with a single sentence or phrase, this is another sign she’s interested in you.

Her body language says something too

When a woman is attracted to you, she leans in to engage in conversation, touches your arm, and has an open posture (arms to her sides and not crossed in front of her). She will remove barriers, like a purse, phone or a glass of wine from between you. This is a great way to tell if she feels attraction – she wants to be physically closer.

You will be her only focus 

Women aren’t afraid to make eye contact when they feel attracted to a man. A sure sign is if she lets her gaze linger on you, in which case she’s showing you her cards. Instead of looking around for outside distractions, she’s focused on you.

More by this author

Kelly Seal

Author, Dating Expert

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Last Updated on March 22, 2019

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

When we talk about happiness, we think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity.  We try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as our goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from us.

But what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?  It’s like your favorite food.  The more you have of it doesn’t always mean the better.  On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite of it.  So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

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We should always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

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Assuming others are always happy is the biggest misunderstanding of happiness.

Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time.  Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales.  On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives (including ourselves).  So it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

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In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

No one has a perfect life.  Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires, everyone has their own set of challenges and problems.

When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve.  As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time.  During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals.  But I got through them, and weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.   Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

Stop trying to be happy. Just be.

It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.  So what can we do?  First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness.  Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect.  It’s from experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing the same trials.  If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize.  If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.  It sounds like a paradox.  What I mean is, accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life.  Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

Understand the importance of gratitude.  Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment right now, flash back your memory to when you had or didn’t have something.  I like to think about my career, for example.  When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated.  I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me.  But when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful!  This memory keeps me going when there are tough spots.  It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

Happiness and sadness exist together

What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments.  Happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories.  But your life will also be filled with rain and storms that don’t ever seem to pass when you’re going through them.

But whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.  Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones.  Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”.  In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements.  Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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