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The Cause of an Addiction Could Date Back to When We Were Just Born

The Cause of an Addiction Could Date Back to When We Were Just Born

Alcohol abuse, illegal drug use, obsessive gambling, and smoking are just a handful of addiction problems that plague our culture. There are far too many addictions to list in one article, that is how bad addiction has become today. Is it because we are more aware of addictions or is it because of something else?

Humans are born to attach. When the attachment doesn’t happen to another person, they turn to other things for that bond, which creates addiction.

Are you practicing Attachment Parenting methods so that your child is less likely to become an addict? Do you suffer from addiction that may have been caused by detached parenting? Solutions to both of these questions can be found below.

Research studies have shown that securely attached children are less likely to use drugs.

Research studies have shown that securely attached children, meaning their parents used Attachment Parenting styles (whether they know it or not) are less likely to use drugs.[1]

This research also showed that kids who did not experience attachment to a parent or caregiver because of the parenting methods used, were more likely to use drugs. It is imperative that parents, who want to keep their kids from using drugs and other adddictive behaviors, use Attachment Parenting practices.

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There is a huge population of children in our society today that are more susceptible to drug addiction. Studies such as this one discussed in Psychology Today show that as much as 40% of all children may be insecurity attached to their parent or caregiver.[2] This is scary for our society! Knowing that research shows that drug addiction is correlated with insecurely attached children, parents must be more vigilant to actively practice Attachment Parenting Methods.

How to practice Attachment Parenting to prevent addictive behaviors in your children?

Many parents practice Attachment Parenting without even knowing it. However since studies show 40% of kids are insecurely attached then more parents need to know about Attachment Parenting. Awareness about these parenting methods is key in spreading the message that our kids need Attachment Parenting to prevent drug use. There are some very practical ways that Attachment Parenting can be practiced with your young children.

This LifeHack article describes 6 ways parents can practice Attachment Parenting:

  1. Co-Sleep.
  2. Feed on Demand.
  3. Practice Empatheic Care.
  4. Be Physically Close using Touch.
  5. Be Attentive to Baby’s Needs.
  6. Show Consistent Care.

There is an entire body of research online regarding Attachment Parenting, proving it is successful in creating well adjusted children and adults. There are also entire organizations and support networks available to parents and caregivers who want to actively pursue Attachmeant Parenting.

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Here are some of those resources:

If you have an insecurely attached or detached child, you can still help him/her.

There are not many psychiatric diagnoses that apply to infants. Reactive Attachment Disorser (also known as RAD) is one that does apply to infants and is defined in the DSM-IV as a disorder in infants or children where the child is detached because of failure of the caregiver to provide adequate care and comfort during early childhood. You may be wondering what the specific criterion are for diagnosing RAD, so here they are from The Trauma Dissociation Website:[3]

    If you think your child fits the criteron for this diagnosis please seek professional help. A psychologist or psychiatrist can best help with this disorder and can even help the parent or caregiver with attachment methods. It is better to catch this disorder while they are young, as by the time they are six years old it becomes harder to identify this diagnosis, as it manifests in other manners.

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    One major way is RAD manifests itself as a person gets older is through addiction.

    If you think you have an addiction caused by detached parenting, don’t be afraid to seek for help.

    You can’t go on blaming your parents for your problems your whole life. Eventually you have to accept responsibility for your future. Take responsibility for your addiction by being solution oriented to kick the addiction. The first step to addiction recovery is admitting you have a problem. The next step is to get help.

    Research has shown that the best treatment for addiction is group therapy, as so many addictions are related to failure to attach to people.[4]

    Group therapy provides an outlet for healing and attachment at the same time. In order to be successful in the recovery process you need to make yourself vulnerable by sharing. This vulnerability is what helps you bond to others in the group.

    By utilizing group therapy methods and understanding that there is an underlying cause to the addiction makes therapy much more hopeful. The label of alcoholism as “a disease” makes it seem as though it can be incurable. It is curable, and there are root causes. Failure of Attachment (or undiagnosed RAD) in the early years of life is one cause. Researchers who examined this topic of substance abuse stated the following:[5]

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    Attachment theory–based clinical treatment of this disorder could both diminish symptoms and cure the incurable.

    Most group methods utilize attachment methods, as they are encouraging group interactions and bonding through group share. If you think your addiction is related to early childhood lack on attachment or RAD then you will find group therapy helpful to your healing.

    Here are some resources for finding Groups that help with addiction:

    Featured photo credit: Stock Snap via stocksnap.io

    Reference

    More by this author

    Dr. Magdalena Battles

    A Doctor of Psychology with specialties include children, family relationships, domestic violence, and sexual assault

    An Expert Parenting Guide to Dealing with Toddler Tantrums How Divorce Affects Children: The Good and the Not So Good Everything You Need to Know Before Visiting a Marriage Counselor How To Stop Insecure Attachment from Wreaking Havoc on Your Love Life 7 Reasons Why You Should Find a Life Coach to Reach Your Full Potential

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    Last Updated on April 1, 2019

    How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

    How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

    When we talk about happiness, we often think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity. Many try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as their ultimate goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from them.

    But, what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?

    It’s a lot like your favorite food. The more often you have it isn’t always better. On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite. So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

    Always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

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    Video Summary

    Don’t Assume Others Are Always Happy

    Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time. Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales. On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives. So, it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

    In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

    No one has a perfect life. Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires have their own set of challenges and problems.

    When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve. As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time. During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals. But, I got through them; and, weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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    You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.  Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time now seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

    Stop Trying to Be Happy–Just Be

    It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.

    So what can we do?

    First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness. Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect. It’s through experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing similar trials. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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    To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.

    It sounds like a paradox. But, what I mean is to accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life. Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

    Understand the importance of gratitude. Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment, flash back your memory to when you didn’t have something. I like to think about my career, for example. When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated. I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me. But, when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful! This memory keeps me going when I hit tough spots. It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

    Happiness and Sadness Exist Together

    What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments–happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories. But, your life will also be filled with rain and storms that never seem like they will pass while you’re going through them.

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    But, whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.

    Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones. Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”. In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements. Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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