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People Who Are Loud Outside Are Insecure Inside And Have Low Self-Esteem

People Who Are Loud Outside Are Insecure Inside And Have Low Self-Esteem

You probably know that person who is outgoing and charismatic. They are the life of every party and appear to be the epitome of confidence. Yet they take an hour to get ready to go to the shop just to buy some bread. If they were truly that self-assured, why would they need to be so well turned out to do such a menial task?

The reality is that people who are loud and outgoing can often have low self-esteem issues too.[1] Often times, they use their personalities to mask how they truly feel inside.

People with low self-esteem try to be loud to camouflage their insecurities.

It stems from underlying insecurities. As a result, it often makes them try to act superior or in a way so as to hide their low self-esteem.

This overcompensating loud behavior is seeking validation. It could be as simple as trying to portray, “Hey! Look at me! I am a fun and a really happy person!” Whereas those who genuinely feel that way about themselves would be confident about it and not necessarily feel the need to express it for it to be validated.

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It is often easier to try to silence the low self-esteem by contradicting it to prove otherwise.

People with these personalities tend to have a stronger need for compliments or being reassured about positive traits. Without this sort of validation, they may feel down and anxious.

What happened to these people are the things to blame on.[2]

  • Poor relationship with parents – Not having the right support, affection or attention while growing up could contribute significantly to a young person’s development.
  • Peer pressure – Similarly, being in an environment where classmates or peers treat them in a way that brings their confidence down or pressures them to do things they are uncomfortable with, can contribute to one’s insecurities.
  • Unsatisfying appearance – According to the University of Washington 53% of girls were not happy with their bodies and this figure rises to 78% by the age of 17. The pressures of media in our everyday life, and a growing celeb-worship culture, cause people to have unrealistic expectations about how they should look and what kind of body they should have.
  • Trauma in the past – Those who have suffered physical, emotional, mental or sexual abuse, are prone to experience depression, anxiety, insecurities and low self-esteem. The consequence of abuse can leave them feeling unworthy, ashamed or guilty
  • High expectation from others – Our society is one that is face-paced in everything. Pressure to perform academically, athletically and socially can have a huge effect on someone, especially if these areas are particularly challenging to them.
  • Negative thinking – This is a habit-forming pattern where a person gets so used to feeling down, low or negatively that it becomes difficult to get out of that thought pattern once it has been programmed into the brain.

To help someone who has low self-esteem, start with strengthening their security.

Giving rapport and helping them to build their own security are essential to helping someone who has low self-esteem.[3]

1. Avoid engaging in negative conversations with them.

If it is going in that direction, you have the ability to steer the conversation into a positive light.

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For instance, if the person is beating themselves up about failing a driving test, you can point out that they passed the theory test already, and that a mutual friend may have failed it several times before passing.

2. Don’t be shy to say that you care about them.

Low self-esteem is often stems from a lack love for one’s own self. Let them know you care about them and tell them positive traits about themselves that are not purely based on aesthetics.

It could be as simple as telling them how kind they are and how much you value them for all times they have helped you out when you had car troubles.

3. Build rapport with positive activities.

Invite them to activities that you are doing which may boost their moral, such as a yoga class, the gym, or shopping for new clothes.

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4. Watch a comedy and laugh together.

We all know that laughter is the best medicine. So be sure to enjoy the lighter side of life too.

Perhaps there is a great comedy that is on that you may both enjoy? If someone is feeling down about themselves, helping them to find their smile will definitely give them a boost.

5. Don’t be condescending.

People can be guilty of saying to someone to just “get over it” when that person is faced with a difficulty that may appear to be “mind over matter”. This is unhelpful and can leave the person feeling more isolated and uncared for.

Don’t say this to someone–irrespective of what they may be facing. Remember, most people can’t control how they feel. The same way as you may not be able to help if you feel hungry or sleepy.

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6. Care for and love yourself too.

It is easy to get into situations where you become trapped in someone else’s negativity and your own energy becomes depleted. As much as you can try to help someone, it can only work if they are also willing to help themselves. Love them, but also remember to love yourself.

Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

Reference

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J.S. von Dacre

Writer at Lifehack

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Last Updated on March 17, 2020

4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

Are you bored at work right now?

Sitting at your desk, wishing you could be anywhere other than here, doing anything else…?

You’re not alone.

Even when you have a job you love, it’s easy to get bored. And if your job isn’t something you’re passionate about, it’s even easier for boredom to creep in.

Did you know it’s actually possible to make any job more interesting?

That’s right.

Whether it’s data entry or shelf stacking, even the most mind-numbing of jobs can be made more fun.

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Understanding the science behind boredom is the first step to beating it.

Read on to learn the truth about boredom, and what you can do to stop feeling bored at work for good.

VIDEO SUMMARY

I’m bored – as you’re watching the same film over and over again, even though it’s your favorite one

When you experience something new, your brain releases opioids – chemicals which make you feel good. [1]

It’s the feeling you might get when you taste a new food for the first time, watch a cool new film, or meet a new person.

However, the next time you have the same experience, the brain processes it in a different way, without releasing so many feel-good chemicals.

That’s why you won’t get the same thrill when you eat that delicious meal for the tenth time, rewatch that film again, or spend time with the same friend.

So, in a nutshell, we get bored when we aren’t having any new experiences.

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Now, new experiences don’t have to be huge life changes – they could be as simple as taking a different route to work, or picking a different sandwich shop for lunch.

We’re going to apply this theory to your boring job.

Keep reading find out how to make subtle changes to the way you work to defeat boredom and have more fun.

Your work can be much more interesting if you learn these little tricks.

Ready to learn how to stop feeling so bored at work?

We’ve listed some simple suggestions below – you can start implementing these right now.

Let’s do this.

Make routine tasks more interesting by adding something new

Sometimes one new element is all it takes to turn routine tasks from dull to interesting.

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Maybe there’s a long drive you have to make every single week. You get so bored, going the same old route to make the same old deliveries.

Why not make it a routine to create a playlist of new music each Sunday, to listen to on your boring drive during the week?

Just like that, something you dread can be turned into the highlight of your day.

For other routine tasks, you could try setting a timer and trying to beat your record, moving to a new location to complete the task, or trying out a new technique for getting the work done – you might even improve your productivity, too.

Combine repetitive tasks to get them out of the way

Certain tasks are difficult to make interesting, no matter how hard you try.

Get these yawn-inducing chores out of the way ASAP by combining them into one quick, focused batch.

For example, if you hate listening to meeting recordings, and dislike tidying your desk, do them both at the same time. You’ll halve the time you spend bored out of your mind, and can move onto more interesting tasks as soon as you’re done.

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Break large tasks into small pieces and plan breaks between them

Feeling overwhelmed can lead you to procrastinate and get bored. Try breaking up large tasks into lots of small pieces to keep things manageable and fun.

Try breaking up a 10,000 word report into 1000-word sections. Reward yourself at the end of each section, and you’ll get 10 mini mood boosts, instead of just one at the end.

You can also plan short breaks between each section, which will help to prevent boredom and keep you focused.

Give yourself regular rewards, it can be anything that makes you feel good

Make sure you reward yourself for achievements, even if they feel small.

Rewards could include:

  • Eating your favourite snack.
  • Taking a walk in a natural area.
  • Spending a few minutes on a fun online game.
  • Buying yourself a small treat.
  • Visiting a new place.
  • Spending time on a favourite hobby.

Your brain will come to associate work with fun rewards, and you’ll soon feel less bored and more motivated.

Boredom doesn’t have to be a fact of life.

Make your working life feel a thousand times more fun by following the simple tips above.

Reference

[1] Psychology Today: Why People Get Bored

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