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People Who Are Loud Outside Are Insecure Inside And Have Low Self-Esteem

People Who Are Loud Outside Are Insecure Inside And Have Low Self-Esteem

You probably know that person who is outgoing and charismatic. They are the life of every party and appear to be the epitome of confidence. Yet they take an hour to get ready to go to the shop just to buy some bread. If they were truly that self-assured, why would they need to be so well turned out to do such a menial task?

The reality is that people who are loud and outgoing can often have low self-esteem issues too.[1] Often times, they use their personalities to mask how they truly feel inside.

People with low self-esteem try to be loud to camouflage their insecurities.

It stems from underlying insecurities. As a result, it often makes them try to act superior or in a way so as to hide their low self-esteem.

This overcompensating loud behavior is seeking validation. It could be as simple as trying to portray, “Hey! Look at me! I am a fun and a really happy person!” Whereas those who genuinely feel that way about themselves would be confident about it and not necessarily feel the need to express it for it to be validated.

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It is often easier to try to silence the low self-esteem by contradicting it to prove otherwise.

People with these personalities tend to have a stronger need for compliments or being reassured about positive traits. Without this sort of validation, they may feel down and anxious.

What happened to these people are the things to blame on.[2]

  • Poor relationship with parents – Not having the right support, affection or attention while growing up could contribute significantly to a young person’s development.
  • Peer pressure – Similarly, being in an environment where classmates or peers treat them in a way that brings their confidence down or pressures them to do things they are uncomfortable with, can contribute to one’s insecurities.
  • Unsatisfying appearance – According to the University of Washington 53% of girls were not happy with their bodies and this figure rises to 78% by the age of 17. The pressures of media in our everyday life, and a growing celeb-worship culture, cause people to have unrealistic expectations about how they should look and what kind of body they should have.
  • Trauma in the past – Those who have suffered physical, emotional, mental or sexual abuse, are prone to experience depression, anxiety, insecurities and low self-esteem. The consequence of abuse can leave them feeling unworthy, ashamed or guilty
  • High expectation from others – Our society is one that is face-paced in everything. Pressure to perform academically, athletically and socially can have a huge effect on someone, especially if these areas are particularly challenging to them.
  • Negative thinking – This is a habit-forming pattern where a person gets so used to feeling down, low or negatively that it becomes difficult to get out of that thought pattern once it has been programmed into the brain.

To help someone who has low self-esteem, start with strengthening their security.

Giving rapport and helping them to build their own security are essential to helping someone who has low self-esteem.[3]

1. Avoid engaging in negative conversations with them.

If it is going in that direction, you have the ability to steer the conversation into a positive light.

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For instance, if the person is beating themselves up about failing a driving test, you can point out that they passed the theory test already, and that a mutual friend may have failed it several times before passing.

2. Don’t be shy to say that you care about them.

Low self-esteem is often stems from a lack love for one’s own self. Let them know you care about them and tell them positive traits about themselves that are not purely based on aesthetics.

It could be as simple as telling them how kind they are and how much you value them for all times they have helped you out when you had car troubles.

3. Build rapport with positive activities.

Invite them to activities that you are doing which may boost their moral, such as a yoga class, the gym, or shopping for new clothes.

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4. Watch a comedy and laugh together.

We all know that laughter is the best medicine. So be sure to enjoy the lighter side of life too.

Perhaps there is a great comedy that is on that you may both enjoy? If someone is feeling down about themselves, helping them to find their smile will definitely give them a boost.

5. Don’t be condescending.

People can be guilty of saying to someone to just “get over it” when that person is faced with a difficulty that may appear to be “mind over matter”. This is unhelpful and can leave the person feeling more isolated and uncared for.

Don’t say this to someone–irrespective of what they may be facing. Remember, most people can’t control how they feel. The same way as you may not be able to help if you feel hungry or sleepy.

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6. Care for and love yourself too.

It is easy to get into situations where you become trapped in someone else’s negativity and your own energy becomes depleted. As much as you can try to help someone, it can only work if they are also willing to help themselves. Love them, but also remember to love yourself.

Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

Reference

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J.S. von Dacre

Writer at Lifehack

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

Dreams — Mysterious, bewildering, eye-opening and sometimes a nightmarish living hell. Dreams are all that and much more.

Here are 20 amazing facts about dreams that you might have never heard about:

Fact #1: You can’t read while dreaming, or tell the time

    If you are unsure whether you are dreaming or not, try reading something. The vast majority of people are incapable of reading in their dreams.

    The same goes for clocks: each time you look at a clock it will tell a different time and the hands on the clock won’t appear to be moving as reported by lucid dreamers.

    Fact #2: Lucid dreaming

    There is a whole subculture of people practicing what is called lucid or conscious dreaming. Using various techniques, these people have supposedly learned to assume control of their dreams and do amazing things like flying, passing through walls, and traveling to different dimensions or even back in time.

    Want to learn how to control your dreams? You can try these tips:

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    Lucid Dreaming: This Is How You Can Control Your Dreams

    Fact #3: Inventions inspired by dreams

    Dreams are responsible for many of the greatest inventions of mankind. A few examples include:

    • The idea for Google -Larry Page
    • Alternating current generator -Tesla
    • DNA’s double helix spiral form -James Watson
    • The sewing machine -Elias Howe
    • Periodic table -Dimitri Mendeleyev

    …and many, many more.

    Fact #4: Premonition dreams

    There are some astounding cases where people actually dreamt about things which happened to them later, in the exact same ways they dreamed about.

    You could say they got a glimpse of the future, or it might have just been coincidence. The fact remains that this is some seriously interesting and bizarre phenomena. Some of the most famous premonition dreams include:

    • Abraham Lincoln dreamt of His Assassination
    • Many of the victims of 9/11 had dreams warning them about the catastrophe
    • Mark Twain’s dream of his brother’s demise
    • 19 verified precognitive dreams about the Titanic catastrophe

    Fact #5: Sleep paralysis

    Hell is real and it is called sleep paralysis. It’s the stuff of true nightmares. I’ve been a sleep paralysis sufferer as a kid and I can attest to how truly horrible it is.

    Two characteristics of sleep paralysis are the inability to move (hence paralysis) and a sense of an extremely evil presence in the room with you. It doesn’t feel like a dream, but 100% real. Studies show that during an attack, sleep paralysis sufferers show an overwhelming amygdala activity. The amygdala is responsible for the “fight or flight” instinct and the emotions of fear, terror and anxiety. Enough said!

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    Fact #6: REM sleep disorder

    In the state of REM (rapid-eye-movement) stage of your sleep your body is normally paralyzed. In rare cases, however, people act out their dreams. These have resulted in broken arms, legs, broken furniture, and in at least one reported case, a house burnt down.

    Fact #7: Sexual dreams

    The very scientifically-named “nocturnal penile tumescence” is a very well documented phenomena. In laymen’s term, it simply means that you get a stiffy while you sleep. Actually, studies indicate that men get up to 20 erections per dream.

    Fact #8: Unbelievable sleepwalkers

      Sleepwalking is a very rare and potentially dangerous sleep disorder. It is an extreme form of REM sleep disorder, and these people don’t just act out their dreams, but go on real adventures at night.

      Lee Hadwin is a nurse by profession, but in his dreams he is an artist. Literally. He “sleepdraws” gorgeous portraits, of which he has no recollection afterwards. Strange sleepwalking “adventures” include:

      • A woman having sex with strangers while sleepwalking
      • A man who drove 22 miles and killed his cousin while sleepwalking
      • A sleepwalker who walked out of the window from the third floor, and barely survived

      Fact #9: Dream drug

      There are actually people who like dreaming and dreams so much that they never want to wake up. They want to continue on dreaming even during the day, so they take an illegal and extremely potent hallucinogenic drug called Dimethyltryptamine. It is actually only an isolated and synthetic form of the chemical our brains produce naturally during dreaming.

      Fact #10 Dream-catcher

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        The dream-catcher is one of the most well-known Native American symbols. It is a loose web or webs woven around a hoop and decorated with sacred objects meant to protect against nightmares.

        Fact #11: Increased brain activity

        You would associate sleeping with peace and quiet, but actually our brains are more active during sleep than during the day.

        Fact #12: Creativity and dreams

        As we mentioned before, dreams are responsible for inventions, great artworks and are generally just incredibly interesting. They are also “recharging” our creativity.

        Scientists also say that keeping a dream diary helps with creativity.

        In rare cases of REM disorder, people actually don’t dream at all. These people suffer from significantly decreased creativity and perform badly at tasks requiring creative problem solving.

        Fact #13: Pets dream too

          Our animal companions dream as well. Watch a dog or a cat sleep and you can see that they are moving their paws and making noises like they were chasing something. Go get ’em buddy!

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          Fact #14: You always dream—you just don’t remember it

          Many people claim that they don’t dream at all, but that’s not true: we all dream, but up to 60% of people don’t remember their dreams at all.

          Fact #15: Blind people dream too

          Blind people who were not born blind see images in their dreams but people who were born blind don’t see anything at all. They still dream, and their dreams are just as intense and interesting, but they involve the other senses beside sight.

          Fact #16: In your dreams, you only see faces that you already know

            It is proven that in dreams, we can only see faces that we have seen in real life before. So beware: that scary-looking old lady next to you on the bus might as well be in your next nightmare.

            Fact #17: Dreams tend to be negative

            Surprisingly, dreams are more often negative than positive. The three most widely reported emotions felt during dreaming are anger, sadness and fear.

            Fact #18: Multiple dreams per night

            You can have up to seven different dreams per night depending on how many REM cycles you have. We only dream during the REM period of sleep, and the average person dreams one to two hours every night.

            Fact #19: Gender differences

            Interestingly, 70% of all the characters in a man’s dream are other men, but women’s dream contain an equal amount of women and men. Also men’s dreams contain a lot more aggression. Both women and men dream about sexual themes equally often.

            Fact #20: Not everyone dreams in color

            As much as 12% of people only dream in black and white.

            Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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