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6 Signs People Have Low Self-Esteem but Seem Confident

6 Signs People Have Low Self-Esteem but Seem Confident

In today’s world, you must be confident in order to survive. It’s something you absolutely cannot fake. People see right through pseudo-confidence, no matter how you try to mask it. More importantly, self-esteem comes not from what others think of you, but rather from what you think of yourself. Being untruthful to yourself ultimately leads to incredibly low self-esteem and self-worth. The following are examples of people who may appear confident, but in truth are incredibly diffident.

They always look their best in public

I’m not saying that all people who dress well are hiding low self-esteem. However, people who feel the need to take an hour to get ready just to go get milk and eggs obviously are uncomfortable with how other people perceive them. You might think that by going overboard with your appearance you’re making others jealous, but all you’re really doing is wasting your own time. In the real world, nobody cares what you look like at Shop Rite. They just want to get their groceries and get back home.

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They always look busy in public

I think everyone’s guilty of this one at some point in their lives. You’re waiting for a bus, or for your friend to show up. You feel silly just staring into space, so you pick up your phone and pretend to have found something interesting to read. When really all you’re doing is playing Crossy Road. Why do we do this? Why do we care if passer-bys think we look awkward by just sitting and waiting? There really is no reason to pretend we’re busy just for the sake of looking busy. Again, people with low self-esteem tend to care what others think about them, so much so that they give them something to think about at all times.

They assume they know what others think… because it’s how they think

This goes along with the previous entries. People with low self-esteem are obsessed with keeping up appearances. The key word in that sentence is “appearances.” They strive to appear to be something they’re not. Using the previous examples, these hypothetical people actually believe that others have the time to observe and judge them. It’s really just a reflection of themselves. The person who gets dressed up to go to the gas station will be the first to judge someone who wore sweats and a raggy shirt to the same place. The person who pretends to be doing something important on their phone is the first to call attention to the person who’s sitting and waiting patiently. In actuality, the people dressed in rags are the truly confident ones, because they really don’t care at all about what anyone else thinks about them.

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They use coping and escape mechanisms to handle stress

Confident people handle stress by dealing with the situation and growing from it. People with low self-esteem handle stress by drinking, smoking, or engaging in otherwise risky behaviors that are detrimental to themselves and those around them. For some, this vicious cycle never ends. They get stressed out, so they get wasted. Then they wake up even more stressed due to lack of sleep and a hangover… and the problem hasn’t even gone away. So what do they do? Head for the fridge. If we could just learn to face our troubles head on, we would realize that dealing with bad situations is much easier than avoiding them.

They’re dishonest with others and themselves

Those that are confident have nothing to hide, and therefore are always truthful. Their less-confident counterparts, on the other hand, may be ashamed of something within themselves, and are more prone to telling lies or exaggerating truths. As with everything we’ve spoken about, this is only a reflection of oneself. The better thing to do would be to be honest with yourself, and work toward changing the aspects of your life that you’ve become unhappy with. Trying to bury them is not productive, and simply does not work.

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They exhibit arrogance, not confidence

There is a huge difference between a confident person and an arrogant one. Confident people can back up their boasts with actions, while arrogant people believe they know it all, yet never put their money where their mouth is. Arrogant people will be the first to point out other people’s flaws, but confident people will be the ones to help those people succeed. Arrogance is not being self-confident; it’s being self-centered. While arrogant people always look for how they can improve their world, confident people constantly look to how they can improve the world around them.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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