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6 Signs People Have Low Self-Esteem but Seem Confident

6 Signs People Have Low Self-Esteem but Seem Confident

In today’s world, you must be confident in order to survive. It’s something you absolutely cannot fake. People see right through pseudo-confidence, no matter how you try to mask it. More importantly, self-esteem comes not from what others think of you, but rather from what you think of yourself. Being untruthful to yourself ultimately leads to incredibly low self-esteem and self-worth. The following are examples of people who may appear confident, but in truth are incredibly diffident.

They always look their best in public

I’m not saying that all people who dress well are hiding low self-esteem. However, people who feel the need to take an hour to get ready just to go get milk and eggs obviously are uncomfortable with how other people perceive them. You might think that by going overboard with your appearance you’re making others jealous, but all you’re really doing is wasting your own time. In the real world, nobody cares what you look like at Shop Rite. They just want to get their groceries and get back home.

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They always look busy in public

I think everyone’s guilty of this one at some point in their lives. You’re waiting for a bus, or for your friend to show up. You feel silly just staring into space, so you pick up your phone and pretend to have found something interesting to read. When really all you’re doing is playing Crossy Road. Why do we do this? Why do we care if passer-bys think we look awkward by just sitting and waiting? There really is no reason to pretend we’re busy just for the sake of looking busy. Again, people with low self-esteem tend to care what others think about them, so much so that they give them something to think about at all times.

They assume they know what others think… because it’s how they think

This goes along with the previous entries. People with low self-esteem are obsessed with keeping up appearances. The key word in that sentence is “appearances.” They strive to appear to be something they’re not. Using the previous examples, these hypothetical people actually believe that others have the time to observe and judge them. It’s really just a reflection of themselves. The person who gets dressed up to go to the gas station will be the first to judge someone who wore sweats and a raggy shirt to the same place. The person who pretends to be doing something important on their phone is the first to call attention to the person who’s sitting and waiting patiently. In actuality, the people dressed in rags are the truly confident ones, because they really don’t care at all about what anyone else thinks about them.

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They use coping and escape mechanisms to handle stress

Confident people handle stress by dealing with the situation and growing from it. People with low self-esteem handle stress by drinking, smoking, or engaging in otherwise risky behaviors that are detrimental to themselves and those around them. For some, this vicious cycle never ends. They get stressed out, so they get wasted. Then they wake up even more stressed due to lack of sleep and a hangover… and the problem hasn’t even gone away. So what do they do? Head for the fridge. If we could just learn to face our troubles head on, we would realize that dealing with bad situations is much easier than avoiding them.

They’re dishonest with others and themselves

Those that are confident have nothing to hide, and therefore are always truthful. Their less-confident counterparts, on the other hand, may be ashamed of something within themselves, and are more prone to telling lies or exaggerating truths. As with everything we’ve spoken about, this is only a reflection of oneself. The better thing to do would be to be honest with yourself, and work toward changing the aspects of your life that you’ve become unhappy with. Trying to bury them is not productive, and simply does not work.

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They exhibit arrogance, not confidence

There is a huge difference between a confident person and an arrogant one. Confident people can back up their boasts with actions, while arrogant people believe they know it all, yet never put their money where their mouth is. Arrogant people will be the first to point out other people’s flaws, but confident people will be the ones to help those people succeed. Arrogance is not being self-confident; it’s being self-centered. While arrogant people always look for how they can improve their world, confident people constantly look to how they can improve the world around them.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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