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You May Find You Don’t Really Understand Yourself Well After Playing This

You May Find You Don’t Really Understand Yourself Well After Playing This

Johari Window is a psychological model that helps us to understand more about ourselves and hence to improve ourselves more effectively. “Johari” is a combination of the first names of the two psychologists Joe and Harry.

It is also referred to as a “disclosure/feedback model of self awareness”. Originally it was developed for studying group relations. Later it has been found that this model can actually benefit every individuals like their work and also relationships.

    Open Area (Quadrant 1)

    This area contains things you know about yourself that are visible to others as well.

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    Blind area (Quadrant 2)

    Things in this area represent what others think or know about you, but you yourself don’t realize.

    Hidden area (Quadrant 3)

    Things in this area are only known to you but not others. It may be that you’re keeping them private and hiding them from others.

    Unknown area (Quadrant 4)

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    This area is for things that are either about you that no one is aware of, or that are not applicable to you.

    Do the exercise to see how your Johari Window is like

    First choose the adjectives that you think describe yourself well from the list below:

      Then ask your loved ones to choose adjectives they think suit you.

      If you find any common adjectives both you and your friends chose, put them into the grid “Open Area”. For what you chose but your loved ones didn’t, put them into “Hidden Area”. For what your loved ones chose but you didn’t, put them into “Blind Area”.

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      If the results is like the below one where the Open Area is the largest one and the Blind Area is so small, congratulations!

        But if it’s the opposite which means the blind area or the hidden area is much larger than the open area, alert!

        When the blind area is significantly larger than the other ones, it means feedback is seldom taken or seldom taken seriously. That’s why you don’t know a lot about what people around you know.

        When the hidden area is larger, it means you reveal too much about yourself, including the dark sides and your strengths.

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        The ultimate goal: Enlarge open area

        When the open area is large enough, your self-awareness is high and people know you well too.

        For individuals, this makes us know more about our strength and weaknesses which can boost our personal growth.

        As a team, when the group’s open area is large, which implies the presence of open communication, overall productivity is improved too.

        So how to enlarge it? Psychologists suggest that the size of open area largely depends on our self-esteem and also our communication skills. When we have high self-esteem we would dare to disclose more about ourselves. When we acquire active listening skills, we would learn more from people’s feedback.

        For more detailed guide to improve these aspects, refer to:

        Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know

        The Skill That Most People Don’t Have: Active Listening

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        Chloe Chong

        Chloe is a social media expert and shares lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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        Last Updated on August 6, 2020

        6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

        6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

        We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

        “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

        Are we speaking the same language?

        My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

        When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

        Am I being lazy?

        When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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        Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

        Early in the relationship:

        “Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

        When the relationship is established:

        “Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

        It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

        Have I actually got anything to say?

        When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

        A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

        When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

        Am I painting an accurate picture?

        One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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        How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

        Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

        What words am I using?

        It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

        Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

        Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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        Is the map really the territory?

        Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

        A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

        I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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