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No One Is Naturally Boring, Here’s Why

No One Is Naturally Boring, Here’s Why

Can you recall some of the awkward moments you came across when trying to get to know someone? Like you were invited to a friend’s house party, you wanted to be friendly with the people there but you just didn’t know how to start a conversation because you were so afraid that people’d just think you’re a boring person to talk to and you really couldn’t stand that kind of harsh rejection.

One of the biggest reasons for this is our fear of not being interesting enough. We worry that we’re born to be boring and it’s just something inside of us that can hardly be turned around.

But what if I tell you that you can easily make friends with others, and that YOU cannot be boring at all?

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You don’t need to have extraordinary experiences or achievements, you only need to be true to yourself if you want to be interesting.

Forget about trying so hard to impress others, because you can’t succeed in impressing everyone.

What’s more important is how you feel inside. You don’t have to hide any emotions that you think are ‘boring’—being loyal to yourself is interesting enough, and you just have to be confident in yourself when you try to talk with others. Don’t be afraid to let others learn about the real you.

Try to open up to others — even if it means being a little vulnerable.

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In fact, making yourself vulnerable to others is key to making close friends. You should talk about personal stuff when meeting someone new and stop worrying too much. They can feel that you are being real and they will trust you more because of that.

Being open and personal is the basis for establishing any close relationships. It allows others to understand you. And you yourself will be happier too.[1]

However ordinary you think you are, people would appreciate it when you are sincere and open about your inner feelings, and will be happy to be around you.

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To be interesting simply means to be able and willing to express your true feelings honestly.

Practice being comfortable with yourself and go out to meet people.

Connecting with others requires you to share your feelings honestly, and you won’t be able to do that without accepting who you really are as a person.

Try to figure out what ‘being yourself’ means for you, and don’t try to be someone you are not.[2] Don’t worry about how others might judge you and keep in mind that you’re not trying to impress others, but trying to make friends you would enjoy spending time around. So forcing yourself to act like someone else will not be helpful.

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Although every person you meet may be different, it is always a good idea to gain more experience. Don’t be shy. Go out and talk to people. You can actually learn from the past experience and improve the way you approach people.

You may not always succeed in making a new friend but it’s okay, you just have to keep trying because you’ll know better next time.

Reference

More by this author

Wen Shan

Proud Philosophy grad. Based in HK.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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