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No One Is Naturally Boring, Here’s Why

No One Is Naturally Boring, Here’s Why

Can you recall some of the awkward moments you came across when trying to get to know someone? Like you were invited to a friend’s house party, you wanted to be friendly with the people there but you just didn’t know how to start a conversation because you were so afraid that people’d just think you’re a boring person to talk to and you really couldn’t stand that kind of harsh rejection.

One of the biggest reasons for this is our fear of not being interesting enough. We worry that we’re born to be boring and it’s just something inside of us that can hardly be turned around.

But what if I tell you that you can easily make friends with others, and that YOU cannot be boring at all?

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You don’t need to have extraordinary experiences or achievements, you only need to be true to yourself if you want to be interesting.

Forget about trying so hard to impress others, because you can’t succeed in impressing everyone.

What’s more important is how you feel inside. You don’t have to hide any emotions that you think are ‘boring’—being loyal to yourself is interesting enough, and you just have to be confident in yourself when you try to talk with others. Don’t be afraid to let others learn about the real you.

Try to open up to others — even if it means being a little vulnerable.

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In fact, making yourself vulnerable to others is key to making close friends. You should talk about personal stuff when meeting someone new and stop worrying too much. They can feel that you are being real and they will trust you more because of that.

Being open and personal is the basis for establishing any close relationships. It allows others to understand you. And you yourself will be happier too.[1]

However ordinary you think you are, people would appreciate it when you are sincere and open about your inner feelings, and will be happy to be around you.

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To be interesting simply means to be able and willing to express your true feelings honestly.

Practice being comfortable with yourself and go out to meet people.

Connecting with others requires you to share your feelings honestly, and you won’t be able to do that without accepting who you really are as a person.

Try to figure out what ‘being yourself’ means for you, and don’t try to be someone you are not.[2] Don’t worry about how others might judge you and keep in mind that you’re not trying to impress others, but trying to make friends you would enjoy spending time around. So forcing yourself to act like someone else will not be helpful.

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Although every person you meet may be different, it is always a good idea to gain more experience. Don’t be shy. Go out and talk to people. You can actually learn from the past experience and improve the way you approach people.

You may not always succeed in making a new friend but it’s okay, you just have to keep trying because you’ll know better next time.

Reference

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Wen Shan

Proud Philosophy grad. Based in HK.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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