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No One Is Naturally Boring, Here’s Why

No One Is Naturally Boring, Here’s Why

Can you recall some of the awkward moments you came across when trying to get to know someone? Like you were invited to a friend’s house party, you wanted to be friendly with the people there but you just didn’t know how to start a conversation because you were so afraid that people’d just think you’re a boring person to talk to and you really couldn’t stand that kind of harsh rejection.

One of the biggest reasons for this is our fear of not being interesting enough. We worry that we’re born to be boring and it’s just something inside of us that can hardly be turned around.

But what if I tell you that you can easily make friends with others, and that YOU cannot be boring at all?

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You don’t need to have extraordinary experiences or achievements, you only need to be true to yourself if you want to be interesting.

Forget about trying so hard to impress others, because you can’t succeed in impressing everyone.

What’s more important is how you feel inside. You don’t have to hide any emotions that you think are ‘boring’—being loyal to yourself is interesting enough, and you just have to be confident in yourself when you try to talk with others. Don’t be afraid to let others learn about the real you.

Try to open up to others — even if it means being a little vulnerable.

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In fact, making yourself vulnerable to others is key to making close friends. You should talk about personal stuff when meeting someone new and stop worrying too much. They can feel that you are being real and they will trust you more because of that.

Being open and personal is the basis for establishing any close relationships. It allows others to understand you. And you yourself will be happier too.[1]

However ordinary you think you are, people would appreciate it when you are sincere and open about your inner feelings, and will be happy to be around you.

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To be interesting simply means to be able and willing to express your true feelings honestly.

Practice being comfortable with yourself and go out to meet people.

Connecting with others requires you to share your feelings honestly, and you won’t be able to do that without accepting who you really are as a person.

Try to figure out what ‘being yourself’ means for you, and don’t try to be someone you are not.[2] Don’t worry about how others might judge you and keep in mind that you’re not trying to impress others, but trying to make friends you would enjoy spending time around. So forcing yourself to act like someone else will not be helpful.

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Although every person you meet may be different, it is always a good idea to gain more experience. Don’t be shy. Go out and talk to people. You can actually learn from the past experience and improve the way you approach people.

You may not always succeed in making a new friend but it’s okay, you just have to keep trying because you’ll know better next time.

Reference

More by this author

Wen Shan

Proud Philosophy grad. Based in HK.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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