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You Don’t Marry A Man, You Marry A Lifestyle. (It’s Not About Wealth Though)

You Don’t Marry A Man, You Marry A Lifestyle. (It’s Not About Wealth Though)

Have you ever had a friend who seemed to change after they got married? Maybe their moods seem different or maybe they’ve developed some new habits? Well, of course they do! When you get married, you’re not just devoting yourself to another person; you’re molding yourself to their way of life, just as they are yours. That’s why we often notice when we see a couple that has been together for 50+ years that they seem to look like one anther somehow. It can be a scary realization, but relax, it’s completely normal.

Why Marriage Changes Us

People can’t be around eachother frequently without rubbing off on eachother. This is evident, not only in long-term romances, but close friendships too. In marriage, the effect is tenfold because not only are you around your spouse every day, but you’re commited to them. You will naturally start adopting aspects of their lifestyle as they will yours.

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The Little Things

The first thing you may notice after you get married is that you start to sound like your partner. The little sarcastic remarks they make or the figures of speach they use will begin flowing off your tongue. Years later, many couples can’t even remember who the orginator of a phrase or an inside joke is. Pay close attention and you may notice that your partner is starting to sound like you as well. Your friends will probably think it’s sweet and just a little bit unnerving when you start finishing eachother’s sentences. Don’t worry. It’s just a sign that you’re getting closer.

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The Bigger Things

You may also notice after your married that the lifestyle you held while you were single is begnining to change, for better or for worse. For example, if you’re serious about excersize and your spouse isn’t you may notice yourself becomming lax in your regular routine. Then again, your partner may change their habits in an effort to keep up with you! There are other things too. You will be impacted by your significant other’s likes, schedule, health, personality, financial security, family and situation. This can be as difficult as it is wonderful. Just remember that marriage is always an adjustment for both of the people involved.

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When it’s Stressfull, Communicate

Remember that all of these forced lifestyle changes are probably just as shocking to your significant other as they are to you. If something frustrates you or worries you about the way things are, don’t let your emotions fester and grow into resentment. Speak openly with your spouse and set the prescedent for safe, open communication channels. For example, if he was used to leaving the kitchen a mess and you’re getting tired of cleaning up after meals, suggest to him that it may be easier if you both took turns cleaning. Remember that your partner won’t know what’s bothering you if you don’t tell them.

If you married someone, hopefully you already accepted the lifestyle to which you were attatching yourself. Try to have fun as you learn more about yourself and your partner. Marriage isn’t perfect but it is supposed to be a joyful experience.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Itaga via unsplash.com

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Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

More Tips to Help You Carry On

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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