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You Don’t Marry A Man, You Marry A Lifestyle. (It’s Not About Wealth Though)

You Don’t Marry A Man, You Marry A Lifestyle. (It’s Not About Wealth Though)

Have you ever had a friend who seemed to change after they got married? Maybe their moods seem different or maybe they’ve developed some new habits? Well, of course they do! When you get married, you’re not just devoting yourself to another person; you’re molding yourself to their way of life, just as they are yours. That’s why we often notice when we see a couple that has been together for 50+ years that they seem to look like one anther somehow. It can be a scary realization, but relax, it’s completely normal.

Why Marriage Changes Us

People can’t be around eachother frequently without rubbing off on eachother. This is evident, not only in long-term romances, but close friendships too. In marriage, the effect is tenfold because not only are you around your spouse every day, but you’re commited to them. You will naturally start adopting aspects of their lifestyle as they will yours.

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The Little Things

The first thing you may notice after you get married is that you start to sound like your partner. The little sarcastic remarks they make or the figures of speach they use will begin flowing off your tongue. Years later, many couples can’t even remember who the orginator of a phrase or an inside joke is. Pay close attention and you may notice that your partner is starting to sound like you as well. Your friends will probably think it’s sweet and just a little bit unnerving when you start finishing eachother’s sentences. Don’t worry. It’s just a sign that you’re getting closer.

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The Bigger Things

You may also notice after your married that the lifestyle you held while you were single is begnining to change, for better or for worse. For example, if you’re serious about excersize and your spouse isn’t you may notice yourself becomming lax in your regular routine. Then again, your partner may change their habits in an effort to keep up with you! There are other things too. You will be impacted by your significant other’s likes, schedule, health, personality, financial security, family and situation. This can be as difficult as it is wonderful. Just remember that marriage is always an adjustment for both of the people involved.

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When it’s Stressfull, Communicate

Remember that all of these forced lifestyle changes are probably just as shocking to your significant other as they are to you. If something frustrates you or worries you about the way things are, don’t let your emotions fester and grow into resentment. Speak openly with your spouse and set the prescedent for safe, open communication channels. For example, if he was used to leaving the kitchen a mess and you’re getting tired of cleaning up after meals, suggest to him that it may be easier if you both took turns cleaning. Remember that your partner won’t know what’s bothering you if you don’t tell them.

If you married someone, hopefully you already accepted the lifestyle to which you were attatching yourself. Try to have fun as you learn more about yourself and your partner. Marriage isn’t perfect but it is supposed to be a joyful experience.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Itaga via unsplash.com

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Marina Richter

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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