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If You Have These 7 Habits, You Will Be Smart Enough To Create Something That Matters

If You Have These 7 Habits, You Will Be Smart Enough To Create Something That Matters

You’ve probably found yourself here because you’re curious to see whether you have any of the habits mentioned. We’re all capable of creating something that matters. Sometimes, we just get stuck in a rut and it’s hard to come out of it. Our minds work in incredible ways, but even the smartest and most creative people run out of ideas sometimes. Check out the 7 habits below, and start incorporating them into your life today.

1. Direct Experience is better than Filtered Experience

If you’re unsure of what the difference is, direct experience is when we interact with something, such as another person or nature, without the influence of culture or media. Filtered experience is just the opposite. When you drown yourself in what’s going on with others and submerge yourself with the dramatizations the media sometimes has, you can have a very distorted view and opinion of what’s going on around you. Direct experience allows you to look at everything through your own lens.

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2. Throw away self-censorship

Rejecting the ideas of others is somewhat common. But when you’re rejecting, denying, silencing, and shutting your own ideas down completely, that is a total crime against your creativity. Actually, it’s an act of mindlessness. By self-censoring, you shut down your imagination, and the long-term effects will eventually kill off your curiosity and creativity completely. The society in which we live teaches us to self-censor both directly and indirectly. If you feel that you’ve inherited self-censorship, identify it as a problem and be consciously aware of it so you’re able to get yourself back to a place where your ideas and creativity come to you with ease.

3. Stop telling stories about your past

Sometimes it’s difficult to not talk about our pasts. Over and over, we tell people stories from long ago, and doing that can keep us in the same place. We’ve made mistakes and learned from them so that we can become better people and smarter people. When you stop telling others, and more importantly, yourself, stories from the past that are ultimately holding you back, you can start using those energies to work towards a better future.

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4. You don’t need to explain yourself

There are times when we find that we are trying to explain ourselves and our actions to others. When you feel this starting to happen, flip the script, in a sense. Your intuition is powerful, so use it. When you find yourself holding on to choices that are no longer serving you, let them go. Once you do, creativity will find its way back to you.

5. More restrictions allow for more creativity

By putting limitations on yourself, you’ll force yourself to think outside the box, and this could ignite some new ideas. People usually believe that when you have more freedom, you will be more creative. As surprising as it may be, that isn’t so. When you place some constraints on yourself, you will begin to look for unconventional ways to get around those limitations. This is when creativity will truly flourish.

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6. Quantity over quality

You will typically hear that just the opposite is true, and most times, it is. It’s an age-old lesson. However, sometimes, quantity should take priority over quality, because in the end, it leads to higher quality. If you seek quantity over quality, you will get both. Let me give you a quick example. John Lennon didn’t like the sound of his own voice. Could you just imagine if he had never released any music to the world until he loved his voice? When you’re able to produce more than one thing at once, you’ll be less likely to be disappointed if something flops and doesn’t work out. Diversity is the insurance of the mind!

7. Don’t be afraid to get stuck

That overwhelming feeling that you’re stuck can really make things difficult. The brain is one of the parts of our bodies that we know the least about. It works in very mysterious ways. When you’re stuck, step away from the thing that is draining you mentally and find other projects to distract you. When you are actively ignoring something, your subconscious will create room for your ideas to grow.

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We all wonder, on occasion, what we can do differently to spark some creativity in our lives. Just remember that you’re human and that these things happen to the best of us. Try doing the above things when your creativity cup feels almost empty.

Photo credit courtesy of GettyImages.com

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Erica Wagner

Erica is a passionate writer who shares inspiring ideas and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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