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Why Unexpected Friendships Can Be The Best Ones

Why Unexpected Friendships Can Be The Best Ones

Friends are important parts of our lives. They laugh with us, share their joy, make us feel better when we are down, brighten up our days, and offer genuine support and advice. When we are mature enough to become well-acquainted with our interests, we seek out to find friends who are alike, so that we could spend hours and hours talking about the same books, music or movies we like. We believe that those are the people that we would get along with since we have so much in common. But have you ever tried to step out of your comfort zone and get to know people that are different than you? There is something good in the unexpected – we can learn something new about ourselves and become a better person.

When fate brought together an illiterate prisoner and an encyclopedia editor

For some prisoners, being incarcerated brings about retrospection of their lives and a desire to change for the better. This is what happened to Robin Woods during his time in Maryland Correctional Institution. His desire to change led to quite unusual friendship with Mark Stevens.

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Woods, growing up in a housing project in Cumberland, Maryland, never really learned how to read as a result of resentment towards authority figures. He decided to learn how to read during his time in prison, which brought Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Encyclopedia in his hands. During one of his reading sessions, he spotted a mistake, and he felt the need to inform the editor, Mark Stevens, even though he wasn’t sure his message will reach him.

To his surprise, Stevens responded, and thus this unbelievable friendship started with exchanging many letters and later phone calls. They finally met in person after almost a decade since the first letter. At their first meeting, Woods honestly said to Stevens “I never met you until today, but I love you very much. You’re a good man.” These two people have nothing in common at first sight, yet they found something good in each other – inspiration, support to stay on the right path, and a whole new perspective on life.

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When the number one tech guy met the big-shot investor

When Bill Gates first met Warren Buffett in 1991, at the request of his mother, he hardly thought they would get along as he believed they have nothing in common, since Gates considered himself “a technology nerd” and Buffett as “a big-shot investor.” However, on their first encounter, they started talking and as the hours went by, Gates realized he was wrong: “We were suddenly lost in conversation and hours and hours slipped by. He didn’t come across as a big-shot investor. He had this modest way of talking about what he does.” This friendship still lasts to this day, as they constantly learn something new from each other, challenge each other and grow together.

The key is to step out of your comfort zone

You may think some relationships seem improbable, but that doesn’t mean that they cannot be great and full of love and respect. Meeting people who are nothing like you will open completely new horizons to you, and bring new perspectives to life, and many new benefits.  Break the pattern and step out of your comfort zone if you want to achieve personal growth. Be open-minded and try to experience new views. Although these kinds of friendships might not look as they will last for a long time, they are the ones that last for a life time since there is so much you can learn from each other. This can bring benefits not only to you, but to community as well, as we can see from the example of Emily Farmer (25) and McEwan Voorhees (100) who became friends as Emily decided to play the piano to elderly people at Heritage Place in Bountiful. They’ve become close friends and learned so much from each other.

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Challenge yourself to do something new every day – travel to some new place alone, and try to make friends by walking up to complete strangers and starting random conversations. Or, make use of so many meeting apps out there. You would be surprised at how many great friendships you could start once you open yourself to the possibility of meeting people who seem to not share any of your interests. Try out activities you’ve never dared trying before and by pushing yourself further, you will meet new people that will challenge and push you even more to reach your full potential.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via images.unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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