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6 Simple Ways to Stay in Touch with Friends Who’ve Moved Away

6 Simple Ways to Stay in Touch with Friends Who’ve Moved Away

At some point in our lives we all grow up and life takes us to different places. It’s the same for our friends as some of them will certainly move somewhere else in pursuing their careers, love, or any other reason for that matter. This is a fact we must learn to deal with, and live with. Of course, the shock after some of our best friends have moved far away from us can be difficult and sudden.

I know from my experience that it can be a really difficult thing and I even knew that my childhood friend was moving away. Still, I was not truly aware of it until the day actually came and I realized that things were changing suddenly.

A lot of people become distant because they don’t see each other anymore and their friendship simply fades away. The reality is that they don’t know how to deal with the problem and make the best out of it. There are a lot of small tactics my friend and I used to stay in touch and maintain our friendship as well as before.

The first mistake people make is that they cling on to the main issue – the distance between them, and they don’t look for small options they have available to stay in touch and maintain their friendship. Trust me, these small tricks will mean a lot even like it doesn’t seem that way.

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So let’s get started…

1. Send each other random photos frequently

One of the biggest issues with being so far away from each other is that you won’t be able to see each other on a daily basis. When you don’t see someone for a long time you are likely that you’ll start to forget about them and stop any contact. While there are things you can do to salvage a fading friendship, it’s better not to let it get to that point in the first place. This is why it’s a good idea to make the most out of your selfie habit and use your Snapchat or Instagram to trade photos with your friend. If you are not getting goofy photos of your friend making funny faces on a daily basis, then the two of you are not making an effort to stay friends.

Snapchat was originally made for sending a lot of pictures to people and making them laugh with crazy filters. This is how your friend and you will share funny moments and feel like you are actually close to each other. Furthermore, by trading pictures you will get some insight into each other’s lives, as you will see how your days pass by, what your friend decided to wear, or what he or she is up to. Take photos of things that will remind you of your friendship or start your own thing by agreeing to share specific photos of stuff you both like.

2. Chat whenever you can

Man texting with cell phone at kitchen table

    It doesn’t matter if you use Facebook, messenger or anything else for that matter it’s important that you talk to each other virtually as often as possible. In order to maintain your friendship, you must be updated on each other’s lives. Chat with your friend while going to pay the bills, walking around the park, going to the supermarket etc. When you know what your friend is up to at all times, you will feel a greater connection and you can also exchange ideas, help each other with any problems or give advice on something.

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    You don’t even have to talk about “important” things all the time. Friendship is about randomness and sharing small things you don’t really want to share with someone else. For example, you can talk about how you like some new food you tried. When you know all of these small things, you will feel like nobody in the world knows your friend like you do, and this is how your bond will strengthen.

    3. Play multiplayer games

    If this was your thing when you were close to each other, it will definitely suit you even more now that you are far from each other. If you’ve never done this, you might as well try it. When we play games we get the feeling like we have entered some other world where nothing else matters but the adventure that awaits us. If you share this sensation with a friend you will feel like you two were on a magical, adventurous journey together. Playing games together will be endlessly fun and something special you can share with your friend.

    It is a good idea to voice chat while playing games because not only will you be able to communicate better while playing, but you will also have the time to catch up, make jokes, and truly feel like you are together in a playroom. If you play MMORPG games together you will feel like you are accomplishing something and building your memories together.

    4. Share secrets with each other that nobody else knows of

    One of the rare things that is much easier when you are so far away from each other, and communicate through various gadgets is to share secrets. Of course, sharing secrets with friends is normal, but even telling them to another person can sometimes be incredibly difficult. The thing with sharing secrets through gadgets is that you don’t actually see that person in front of you, and it gets easier to talk about things that may feel unconformable. One of the biggest traits of being best friends is that you know each other’s secrets that nobody else does and talking about them this way will come much easier.

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    There is a sense of trust and connection you get when you know that you are the only people who share each other’s secrets. Knowing you have the freedom to give something that valuable with another person will strengthen your bond.

    5. Make an effort

    Young adult friends having fun at barbeque

      Communicating on a regular basis in your own time is good, but it’s not good enough. Friends need to be there for each other in both good and bad. The time difference between you might mean that it’s most convenient to keep in touch in the afternoon, but some emergency situations require immediate attention. This is why you should make a pact that if any of you calls sometimes late at night, the other one should be there for him or her and answer.

      Be there for your friend and talk, chat, or whatever he or she needs when they are going through hard times. Stay late at night and give comfort, offer help, or share similar stories of difficult times you had as well. It’s not only about small talk, it’s also about talking about those hard moments and difficult life events we all go through. A true friend is there for you to offer support and help you go through them as quickly as possible.

      6. See each other whenever you can

      Catch every opportunity to be close with your friend. Even if you can see each other for a couple of hours, those moments will be so refreshing and encouraging for you that you will get such a euphoria boost that it might last for weeks. Of course, this is easier said than done, but whenever you can, sacrifice some of your time and money to see your friend. It is a good idea to go on trips together or plan a vacation and visit places you both like.

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      With a positive mind, everything is possible, no matter how busy or exhausted you might feel. A good hack is to find a place that seems interesting to both of you, and is located halfway between you two. This way you will both spend the equal amount of money and spend the least time traveling.

      Being committed is the key for maintaining your friendship. You simply cannot allow the distance between you to get in your way. Furthermore, you should always make sure that you talk about everything that’s bugging you so that you can get it off your chest and avoid getting stressed out over insignificant issues. Communicating online can sometimes be misleading and you must always look to clarify things you are unsure about.

      For example, when you see your friend posting pictures from a party with some new friends you might feel a bit of jealousy. A good solution is to talk about it with your friend and ask him or her to tell you about that party; you will be amazed how calming this can be. Remember that the people you call your best friends earned that title for a reason and that it can be difficult to establish similar relationships ever again. This is why both of you should do what you can to keep your connection alive.

      Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/Jfng-e_U4-4 via pexels.com

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      Djordje Todorovic

      Blogger, Gamer Extraordinaire

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      Last Updated on September 18, 2020

      13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      “We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

      “It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

      Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

      You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

      Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

      1. Take a step back and evaluate

      When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

      1. What is the problem?
      2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
      3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
      4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
      5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

      Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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      2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

      If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

      At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

      Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

      3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

      Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

      4. Process your thoughts/emotions

      Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

      1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
      2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
      3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
      4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

      5. Acknowledge your thoughts

      Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

      By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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      Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

      6. Give yourself a break

      If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

      7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

      A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

      Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

      After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

      8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

      As Helen Keller once said,

      “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

      Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

      9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

      In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

      1. What’s the situation?
      2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
      3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
      4. Take action on your next steps!

      After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

      10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

      A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

      Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

      For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

      11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

      No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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      12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

      No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

      13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

      There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

      After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

      Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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