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6 Simple Ways to Stay in Touch with Friends Who’ve Moved Away

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6 Simple Ways to Stay in Touch with Friends Who’ve Moved Away

At some point in our lives we all grow up and life takes us to different places. It’s the same for our friends as some of them will certainly move somewhere else in pursuing their careers, love, or any other reason for that matter. This is a fact we must learn to deal with, and live with. Of course, the shock after some of our best friends have moved far away from us can be difficult and sudden.

I know from my experience that it can be a really difficult thing and I even knew that my childhood friend was moving away. Still, I was not truly aware of it until the day actually came and I realized that things were changing suddenly.

A lot of people become distant because they don’t see each other anymore and their friendship simply fades away. The reality is that they don’t know how to deal with the problem and make the best out of it. There are a lot of small tactics my friend and I used to stay in touch and maintain our friendship as well as before.

The first mistake people make is that they cling on to the main issue – the distance between them, and they don’t look for small options they have available to stay in touch and maintain their friendship. Trust me, these small tricks will mean a lot even like it doesn’t seem that way.

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So let’s get started…

1. Send each other random photos frequently

One of the biggest issues with being so far away from each other is that you won’t be able to see each other on a daily basis. When you don’t see someone for a long time you are likely that you’ll start to forget about them and stop any contact. While there are things you can do to salvage a fading friendship, it’s better not to let it get to that point in the first place. This is why it’s a good idea to make the most out of your selfie habit and use your Snapchat or Instagram to trade photos with your friend. If you are not getting goofy photos of your friend making funny faces on a daily basis, then the two of you are not making an effort to stay friends.

Snapchat was originally made for sending a lot of pictures to people and making them laugh with crazy filters. This is how your friend and you will share funny moments and feel like you are actually close to each other. Furthermore, by trading pictures you will get some insight into each other’s lives, as you will see how your days pass by, what your friend decided to wear, or what he or she is up to. Take photos of things that will remind you of your friendship or start your own thing by agreeing to share specific photos of stuff you both like.

2. Chat whenever you can

Man texting with cell phone at kitchen table

    It doesn’t matter if you use Facebook, messenger or anything else for that matter it’s important that you talk to each other virtually as often as possible. In order to maintain your friendship, you must be updated on each other’s lives. Chat with your friend while going to pay the bills, walking around the park, going to the supermarket etc. When you know what your friend is up to at all times, you will feel a greater connection and you can also exchange ideas, help each other with any problems or give advice on something.

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    You don’t even have to talk about “important” things all the time. Friendship is about randomness and sharing small things you don’t really want to share with someone else. For example, you can talk about how you like some new food you tried. When you know all of these small things, you will feel like nobody in the world knows your friend like you do, and this is how your bond will strengthen.

    3. Play multiplayer games

    If this was your thing when you were close to each other, it will definitely suit you even more now that you are far from each other. If you’ve never done this, you might as well try it. When we play games we get the feeling like we have entered some other world where nothing else matters but the adventure that awaits us. If you share this sensation with a friend you will feel like you two were on a magical, adventurous journey together. Playing games together will be endlessly fun and something special you can share with your friend.

    It is a good idea to voice chat while playing games because not only will you be able to communicate better while playing, but you will also have the time to catch up, make jokes, and truly feel like you are together in a playroom. If you play MMORPG games together you will feel like you are accomplishing something and building your memories together.

    4. Share secrets with each other that nobody else knows of

    One of the rare things that is much easier when you are so far away from each other, and communicate through various gadgets is to share secrets. Of course, sharing secrets with friends is normal, but even telling them to another person can sometimes be incredibly difficult. The thing with sharing secrets through gadgets is that you don’t actually see that person in front of you, and it gets easier to talk about things that may feel unconformable. One of the biggest traits of being best friends is that you know each other’s secrets that nobody else does and talking about them this way will come much easier.

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    There is a sense of trust and connection you get when you know that you are the only people who share each other’s secrets. Knowing you have the freedom to give something that valuable with another person will strengthen your bond.

    5. Make an effort

    Young adult friends having fun at barbeque

      Communicating on a regular basis in your own time is good, but it’s not good enough. Friends need to be there for each other in both good and bad. The time difference between you might mean that it’s most convenient to keep in touch in the afternoon, but some emergency situations require immediate attention. This is why you should make a pact that if any of you calls sometimes late at night, the other one should be there for him or her and answer.

      Be there for your friend and talk, chat, or whatever he or she needs when they are going through hard times. Stay late at night and give comfort, offer help, or share similar stories of difficult times you had as well. It’s not only about small talk, it’s also about talking about those hard moments and difficult life events we all go through. A true friend is there for you to offer support and help you go through them as quickly as possible.

      6. See each other whenever you can

      Catch every opportunity to be close with your friend. Even if you can see each other for a couple of hours, those moments will be so refreshing and encouraging for you that you will get such a euphoria boost that it might last for weeks. Of course, this is easier said than done, but whenever you can, sacrifice some of your time and money to see your friend. It is a good idea to go on trips together or plan a vacation and visit places you both like.

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      With a positive mind, everything is possible, no matter how busy or exhausted you might feel. A good hack is to find a place that seems interesting to both of you, and is located halfway between you two. This way you will both spend the equal amount of money and spend the least time traveling.

      Being committed is the key for maintaining your friendship. You simply cannot allow the distance between you to get in your way. Furthermore, you should always make sure that you talk about everything that’s bugging you so that you can get it off your chest and avoid getting stressed out over insignificant issues. Communicating online can sometimes be misleading and you must always look to clarify things you are unsure about.

      For example, when you see your friend posting pictures from a party with some new friends you might feel a bit of jealousy. A good solution is to talk about it with your friend and ask him or her to tell you about that party; you will be amazed how calming this can be. Remember that the people you call your best friends earned that title for a reason and that it can be difficult to establish similar relationships ever again. This is why both of you should do what you can to keep your connection alive.

      Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/Jfng-e_U4-4 via pexels.com

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      Djordje Todorovic

      Blogger, Gamer Extraordinaire

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      Last Updated on July 20, 2021

      How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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      How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

      You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

      Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

      Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

      Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

      1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

      According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

      “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

      Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

      Warming up

      If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

      If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

      Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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      1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
      2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
      3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

      Stay hydrated

      Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

      To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

      Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

      Meditate

      Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

      Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

      Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

      Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

      2. Focus on your goal

      One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

      Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

      Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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      Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

      If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

      3. Convert negativity to positivity

      There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

      ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

      It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

      Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

      Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

      Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

      4. Understand your content

      Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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      However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

      “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

      Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

      Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

      One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

      5. Practice makes perfect

      Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

      In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

      Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

      6. Be authentic

      There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

      Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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      Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

      To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

      With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

      Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

      7. Post speech evaluation

      Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

      Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

      We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

      You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

      Improve your next speech

      As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

      Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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      • How did I do?
      • Are there any areas for improvement?
      • Did I sound or look stressed?
      • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
      • Was I saying “um” too often?
      • How was the flow of the speech?

      Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

      If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

      Reference

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