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What No One Will Tell You On How to Write Amazing Essays

What No One Will Tell You On How to Write Amazing Essays

As a professional writer I often struggle to start my own essays, looking at the blank page in front of me. It’s frightening enough for me, an adult journalist, so how could we expect kids and teenagers to write amazing essays?

No wonder they are spending hours in front of the desk, trying to conceive an essay that can land them an A or one of the positions at an Ivy League college. This is why essay writing coaches are so busy, guiding kids on how to write the perfect paper. However, is this only a simple creativity problem? Or are we adults are guilty of something more?

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Well, we are! Teachers often provide shallow or way too simple guidelines, which fail to actually guide the child towards writing a good essay. That amazing essay is not going to come up from the plain instructions you are usually given, so here are the things no one is going to tell you about writing an essay. Get the inspiration from these and rock those papers!

Play with your writing

Most students are going to spend hours in front of the blank paper, wondering what to write when they are asked for a story. This is because we don’t all have exciting, adventurous lives, so writing a story essay is not an easy task, if you are trying to tell a personal story. However, your imagination has no limits! Instead of trying to write a perfectly true story for the essay, just start from a real fact and embellish it in a credible way. Make sure you provide reliable facts and you tie your story to reality by adding citations.

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Avoid the common trail

When you are asked to write an expository essay on a case, most people would take on the same case in the news or in the literature. This means there are going to be dozens of similar essays to read for the evaluator. Boring and full of cliches essays that seem to be copy-pasted from the same machine. Break the pattern by writing a completely different essay! If everyone is talking about the way millennials like to spend time online, you can write about how millennials change the fashion world. The new perspective is going to attract the reader and will make you stand out from all the other students who chose to write the same case. It doesn’t need to be the way you see a case – as long as it’s a unique perspective, it doesn’t matter if you or the teacher agree with it.

Formatting is more important than you think

Content is very important for an essay, but formatting is equally essential. If you can see the formatting errors, such as small caps and lack of periods, before you actually start reading the essay, you will judge it was written by a poor student. This is how teachers think and act, so an edited essay, even if it’s a poorly written one, has more chances of getting  bigger marks, compared to a very well written essay, which lacks formatting. Don’t be afraid to stir up controversies.

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If no one is offended by your essay, there is something wrong with the essay. A high quality paper is one that stirs up controversies, that sparks interest! I good essay is one that is able to make people comment and talk about it, even if they are saying negative things. But then there is a high amount of relativity in writing an essay…

Interesting for you

What is interesting for you, might not be interesting for the person reading the personal essay. This is OK and you can’t do anything to change this. Each person has his own perspective and there are no two teachers who are going to award the same grade to the same essay. Unlike math or physics, literature is relative. There are emotions and perspectives involved, so there is no 100% correct answer. This is why most people will never get 100 points out of 100 for an essay, especially when there are multiple readers who rate the paper. Don’t let this fact discourage you from writing great essays. Accept there are things you can’t control and simply give your best each time you write an essay.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via hd.unsplash.com

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Last Updated on December 9, 2019

5 Warning Signs That You’re a People Pleaser

5 Warning Signs That You’re a People Pleaser

Do any of the followings sound familiar…

You cringe at the thought of saying no. You obsess about what others think of you and whether you’re doing something to make them dislike you. You live your life based on the opinions of others because you are deathly afraid of disappointing them.

If you say yes to all of these, you are likely a chronic people pleaser.

It’s hard not to struggle with people-pleasing at one time or another in our lives. As social beings, it’s in our nature to get along with others; our survival and success depend on it.

However, there is a fine line between healthy social behavior and the experience of emotional depletion caused by chronic people-pleasing. In addition to being emotionally drained, you may find yourself compromising on your principles and values in order to be accepted. As you help others to get what they want, your own health and well-being will suffer.

As a recovering people pleaser myself, I’ve observed these five common signs of chronic people-pleasing and some ways to overcome it:

1. You’re Incapable of Saying No

Do you find it painfully hard to turn down the requests of family, friends, and even acquaintances or strangers? You really want to say no, but instead, you say yes to their various demands.

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Before you know it, you’ve become the go-to person when something needs to get done. From the small to the large, you take on every task. You may even be considered a hero to some.

On the inside, you’re suffering. You genuinely want to help others, but you also know that you are depleting your own resources with every “yes.” You may fear that you’ll lose your friendships and good reputation by saying no. After all, last thing you want to be called is selfish.

Solution

First, realize that your capacity to care for others and your capacity to care for yourself are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the two are intimately related.

Second, understand that you are not responsible for the happiness of those around you. They are. Let these two realities give you permission to say no. Start practicing with small requests. Refuse kindly, and without apology.

2. You Avoid Making Decisions or Sharing Your Opinions

Do you have a hard time voicing your opinions and feelings in a group setting or with close friends? Do you constantly allow others to make decisions for you?

You understand a deep truth about decisions and opinions: they divide. However, it’s not in your nature to cause division by speaking up, so you remain silent to avoid conflict.

Over time, this behavior is deadly, because as you defer to the opinions and decisions of others, you are silencing your own voice. This will rob the world of your unique perspectives and gifts.

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Solution

Remember that you can disagree without being disagreeable. People can have divergent opinions and still treat each other with respect and kindness. So give voice to your thoughts, concerns, and needs.

By speaking up, you may rock the boat. You may even be outvoted. But if you treat others with respect, they will respect you even when they disagree with your opinions and choices.

3. You’re Crushed When You Discover Someone Doesn’t like You

This is a hard one. It seems reasonable to assume that if you go out of your way to please everyone, then everyone will like you. But it’s not true.

Some people will dislike you simply because of who you are or for reasons outside of your control. You understand this intellectually, but you cannot stop trying to win the few holdouts.

Solution

Closely examine your desire to be liked by everyone. Did this originate in your childhood, as you tried to win the affections of family members or friends at school? Use tools such as reflection, meditation, and counseling to help you let go of past negative experiences.

As social beings, we need to be loved and accepted – but not by everyone. Decide whose love and affection is worth the effort and whose is not.

4. You’re Resentful of Others but Are Not Sure Why

This often happens when we suppress our feelings and needs over the long term.

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Do you feel unexplained anger toward your close friends, spouse, or boss? The anger is your subconscious telling you that you have been neglecting yourself while helping others advance their goals. Think of this resentment as the “check engine” light turning on in your car. Don’t ignore it.

Solution

Face the truth of what is going on in your life. If you’re feeling overextended or taken advantage of, acknowledge these feelings. Avoid second-guessing yourself. Find time for self care, and make this a priority.

5. You’re Unaware of How Far You’re Willing to Go – Until You’re in over Your Head

This is a sure sign that you lack proper boundaries. You avoid setting limits because you believe this runs counter to having a generous spirit. But this simply allows people greater latitude to intrude into your life. The requests may become more and more unreasonable and you may not realize it until someone has crossed the line.

If you’ve taken on too much, you may experience passive aggressive behavior, crying for no apparent reason, anxiety, or depression.

Solution

Be willing to admit that your time and energy are limited, not because you’re selfish, but because it’s the truth.

Boundaries are simply a recognition of that truth. Do not be afraid to set your boundaries and enforce them. It will take a while for you and others to get used to it, but you’ll experience an increased sense of well-being, and people will learn to accept your limits.

Learn to set boundaries for good: How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

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Final Thoughts

You can be generous without allowing yourself to be used. You can be kind without being a pushover. You can be well-liked without having to sell your soul.

Don’t allow your fears and insecurities to turn you into a chronic people-pleaser. Instead, make time to please one of the most important people in your life: you.

Why? Because when you care for yourself, you can care for others out of the abundance of your own well-being. You will do this not because you are afraid of losing their affection, but simply because you want to. You will experience true freedom.

So decide today to give yourself the same love and attention you give to others. This is one decision you won’t regret.

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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