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6 Things People Who Radiate Warmth And Confidence Do In Common

6 Things People Who Radiate Warmth And Confidence Do In Common

It seems like magic that some people are intoxicating to be with, but actually they have done something (either intentionally or not) to leave this good impression. Some of them are naturally charismatic; some of them had to learn how to be charismatic by integrating tips from others into their daily behavior, but it can be done with no magic involved.

They stand out from the crowd and feel good to be around. They are confident and comfortable. Follow these ten tips to see if you are a natural charmer, or what you can utilize to build up your own confidence and charisma.

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1. They Tell Their Story

Charismatic people have a way of conversing with others that is much more engaging than just small talk. Now I’m not talking about the guy or gal who talk about themselves all day long. These folks are not only cold and vain, but they lack the confidence it takes to be a charmer. Charismatic people share stories about themselves and their lives, but in a way that connect with others; stories that others can relate to. This opens the floor for genuine conversation.

2. They Are Good Listeners

It’s one thing to tell good stories, but it’s another to be a good listener when others are telling their stories as well. They allow others to take the floor and lend a listening ear. They truly engage by making eye contact. They smile. They nod in agreement. They don’t interrupt or over-talk. Their focus is on others too; not just themselves.

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3. They Leave Their Ego at The Door

Charmers aren’t vain. They are open-minded to other people’s thoughts and opinions. They listen without passing judgment. They share without arguing to be right. They stand firm on their beliefs, but value other’s beliefs as well. You don’t have to always agree, but you do have to show a mutual respect.

4. They Ask Questions

They are good storytellers. They are good listeners. But they also take the time to learn about others by asking questions. We all like to talk about ourselves to some extent, but knowing when to pass the microphone so to speak, makes for a more inviting conversation. There won’t be any awkward or uncomfortable silence because there is always a lot we can learn from and about each other by simply asking.

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5. Be Personal

Now I’m not suggesting that charisma is about spewing off your whole life story or your deepest darkest secrets to the first person you meet, but I am suggesting that some intimate depth to conversation is always welcomed. Nobody wants to feel that you are a phony person and being fake in expressing yourself. We all have crazy family stories, embarrassing moments, and first date horrors to share. People will appreciate seeing the “real” you.

6. They Walk The Walk

Charming a room all starts with the way you walk into the room. You won’t get noticed by looking at the floor and tucking yourself away in the nearest corner. Look confident, whether you really feel it or not. Confidence can be found by walking tall, head up. Keep your body light and loose, not rigid and unapproachable.

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We all have the warmth and confidence somewhere within ourselves, and we can all learn how to be charismatic. Utilizing these common tips will help to bring out the best in ourselves, which will then bring out the best in others around us!

Featured photo credit: Martin Dimitrov via gettyimages.co.uk

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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