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Learn This One Easy Trick To Show That You Are A Good Listener

Learn This One Easy Trick To Show That You Are A Good Listener

Most people think that they are good listeners, but sadly this isn’t always the case. Lots of people find themselves thinking about other things when someone is talking to them, or they are just waiting for their chance to speak.

If you can relate to this, you should try to work on your listening skills. Being a bad listener makes life harder, as listening helps us to understand others and empathize. It also helps you to increase your interactions with the outside world so that you can improve your communication skills and build meaningful relationships.

Thankfully you only need to learn one thing to become a good listener.

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The Problems That Stand In The Way Of Being A Good Listener

There are lots of things that make people bad listeners, but one of the main issues is impatience. Impatient people struggle to be good listeners, as they are not fully involved in what the other person is saying. Instead of listening to their friend, they are just waiting for their chance to talk. As soon as there is a pause in the conversation they will interrupt their friend or cut them off.

Another problem is getting distracted easily. When someone starts talking, the other person is fully focused, but after a few minutes they are no longer listening because they are focused on something else, such as a text message or a bird flying past.

Another issue is tiredness. Some people are normally good listeners, but they become bad listeners in the evening when they are too tired to focus on what the other person is saying.

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Can you relate to any of these listening problems? Many people think that they are good listeners, but in reality they think too highly of themselves. If you want to know if you are a good listener, ask your partner or your best friend or your housemate and see what they say. This will give you an honest answer, and it may also help you to work out the cause of your listening problems.

How To Become A Good Listener

The one thing that you need to do to become a good listener is to repeat other people’s words. If you are hanging out with your friend and they say, “I don’t like my next door neighbor’s cat because it is always scratching my door,” you could say “The cat scratches your door? – Does it do that every day?” When you repeat what the other person is saying, you show them that you are listening properly and that you care about the conversation.

The main reason why this works so well is because it is active listening rather than passive listening. Instead of being a silent member of the conversation, you are actively taking part in the discussion and trying to understand the other person.

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What You Need To Do Now

It is easy to implement this listening trick into your daily life. Simply make sure to repeat some of the most relevant things that the other person is saying. You can also add an element of support and validation when you repeat the other person. For instance if someone said, “I was told off at work for someone else’s mistake and it was really frustrating,” you could say “You were frustrated that you were told off, I can understand that. I imagine I would feel the same way!”

While this listening trick is very effective, it is important to moderate how often you repeat other people. You want to seem like a supportive, good listener, not an annoying person who repeats everything!

It can also be useful to summarize when someone has finished telling you a story. This will reassure them that you understood what they said, and it also gives you the chance to clarify what you have heard.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via pexels.com

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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