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Love Yourself First, Or No One Else Will

Love Yourself First, Or No One Else Will

It’s natural to want to be loved by someone else, and to share your love with others. However, so many people are so eager to please those around them and to remain in a relationship at all costs that they lose sight of themselves and can barely muster up the energy required grant themselves approval, let alone love.

This is a tragedy as you must love yourself before loving another. Remember, no healthy person wants a co-dependent partner who relies on them for self-validation. Everyone, whether single or not, should aim to be comfortable with themselves and learn how to practice self-love. Read on for some inspiring quotes that will help you along your path to greater self-love.

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1. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball

Depending on other people for approval is a risky strategy. Sure, when others gift us with love and approval it can seem easy to power through all of life’s challenges. However, if and when this approval is withdrawn (as it may be for many reasons), your self-esteem and drive will evaporate unless you can fall back upon self-love. Set your own goals and prove to yourself that you can meet them without approval or input from outside sources.

2. “Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” – Parker Palmer

If you lead a busy life, putting everyone else’s needs before your own can become a regular habit. However, if you don’t tend to your basic needs (relaxation, exercise, time alone, a good diet, time for fun), you will end up resenting others around you. This robs you of the opportunity to not only love yourself, but to form healthy relationships with others. Work out what you need to be happy, and concentrate on meeting them on your own terms.

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3. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

Even if you are in a relationship, without self-love you will struggle to appreciate compliments and praise give to you by your partner. This is because those who do not love themselves typically have a poor self-image, and so will not believe that others could think well of them. Being single is a great time in which to develop feelings of true self-love. If and when someone comes along with whom you can share your life, their approval will simply be an additional source of happiness.

4. “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes

When was the last time you sat down and took an honest look at your best points and finest qualities? If you over-value what other people have, you risk losing sight of your own qualities and as a result, not living up to your full potential. Remind yourself on a regular basis what it is you are good at.

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5. “Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.” – Dan Coppersmith

To truly love yourself, you must understand who you truly are. Be sure to spend quality ‘alone time’ on a regular basis. Discover and honour your own interests and hobbies. This way, you will never lose yourself when in a relationship with someone else. Take pride in who you are.

6. “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

It’s easy to assume that self-criticism will spur us on to make improvements. In reality, this isn’t how it works Instead, self-criticism leads to an increase in negative energy, which brings you down and makes it less, not more, likely that you will make forward strides. Practice praising yourself for positive actions, and speaking to yourself gently in the face of disappointment.

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7. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is a sad fact of life that wherever you go, you will meet others who try to put you down, either via direct insults or subtler means such as comparisons or snide comments. However, you have a choice. You can choose to take their words to heart, or you choose to discard their opinions as the unwelcome ramblings of one individual who doesn’t get to pass judgement on you.

Once you have mastered the art of self-love, you will become unstoppable. When you love yourself, the approval of others becomes a nice extra, rather than a necessity. You will never lose out by treating yourself better, so make loving yourself a primary life goal.

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Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on June 3, 2020

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

What is success?

Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

1. Success is always doing your best.

Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

3. Success is having a place to call home.

Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

5. Success is believing you can.

If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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7. Success is taking care of your needs.

Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

11. Success is overcoming fear.

Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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12. Success is learning something new each day.

Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

14. Success is loving and being loved back.

Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

16. Success is not giving up.

Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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17. Success is celebrating small victories.

Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

The Bottom Line

Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

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Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

Reference

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