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Discover How to Love Yourself Like You Mean It In These 10 Steps

Discover How to Love Yourself Like You Mean It In These 10 Steps

I know you have a busy life, but you need to remember something very important: in order to take care of others, you must first take care of yourself. And it’s a lot easier to get motivated to take care of yourself if you love your body.

Don’t misread me: I’m not saying you should become a condescending egomaniac who thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread or anything like that, but there is nothing wrong with loving yourself (you’re pretty awesome, I bet).

If you want to improve your body image and self-esteem, I invite you to discover how to love yourself like you mean it. Challenge accepted? Click ahead for your 10 Step Plan.

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1. Repeat after me: I’m not perfect, and that is okay.

Demanding perfection of yourself is just as effective as hunting for a magical dragon in your state park. How’s that? Because perfection is just as mythical (read: nonexistent) as magical dragons. No one is perfect. I know some magazine models might look like they have a “perfect body,” but that’s due to a little thing called Photoshop (not to mention the months of restrictive eating and gruesome training that probably preceded their photo shoot). Every person is born with a body-type that is unique to them. Yes, eat healthy and exercise to become the best version of yourself that you’re capable of being, but no amount of dieting (dreadful word) or training can defy genetics. Whether your body is “perfect” or not is beside the point. Love and accept your body, because it is a glorious vessel that protects you from sickness, carries you throughout your travels, and belongs to you alone.

2. Ask yourself: Would I say it about another person?

The next time you catch yourself thinking something like, “I hate my thighs,” or, “I look so fat in this outfit,” or, “I wish I wasn’t so ugly,” stop whatever you are doing and repeat the following steps:

  • Close your eyes.
  • Take 10 deep breathes (your belly should come forward with each inhale)
  • Imagine those nasty, negative thoughts leaving your body with each exhale
  • Imagine warm, loving, positive thoughts entering your body with each inhale
  • After you complete this breathing cycle, ask yourself: “Would I say such things about another person?”

3. Think about it: What traits do you admire in the people you look up to?

I know the concept of loving yourself might be hard to wrap your head around, so here’s a fun exercise that might help. Think about the top five or ten people you admire. These could be close friends, family members, co-workers, mentors, or even an author or philanthropist who you look up to. Make a list of the individual traits and qualities you commend these people for. Below are some things I imagine could end up on your list:

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  • Never gives up
  • Shows empathy for others
  • Always does the right thing
  • Confident in who they are
  • Passionate about helping people

The point? Simple: None of the things listed above (or, I’m willing to wager, on your list) include one iota of detail about anyone’s physical appearance.

4. Answer this question: What do I like about myself?

Let’s make another list of the things you like about yourself. Your list could include things like physical and mental attributes, your sense of style/humor, talents and abilities that are unique to you, or any other factors that influence the strength of your character. For bonus points, ask a few close friends what they admire about you, and include their answers in your list. If you have a hard time creating your list, check out this article for inspiration.

5. Write it down: Make a list of all of those things.

I know I already told you to make a list, but I just want to emphasize how important it is that you actually write your answers down instead of just thinking about them. You might think you’ll remember, but life has a way of sneaking up on you and ruining even the best of intentions, so please trust me and “Just do it,” as Nike says.

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6. Hang it up: Positive reinforcement is your friend.

The next time you start to agonize over things about your body that you don’t like, consult your list for a positive reminder of all the things you do like. It might help to put your list in a place you’ll notice it at least once a day, like on top of the dresser that contains your underwear (you’ll see it every morning!), or maybe put it up on your refrigerator with a magnet (you’ll see it at least three times a day!). Just as negative thoughts are strengthened by repetition, so are positive ones.

7. The 3-for-1 Method: Every negative thought should be followed by three positive ones.

There is no debating the fact that the occasional negative thought will slip past your radar no matter what you do. The 3-for-1 Method is a great way to become more aware of what you’re thinking about and flip the script of your mental chatter in your favor. Every time you think a negative thought, immediately follow it with three positive ones. If you’re stressing out and can’t think of anything nice to think, here are a few questions that will guide you in the right direction:

  • What have I achieved at work, school, or home today/this week?
  • In what ways have I made a positive impact in someone’s life today/this week?
  • What are some things I should be happy, grateful, and excited for in this moment?

8. Big Picture Thinking: If it wouldn’t matter next month, it’s not worth stressing about.

Fact: Most forms of stress are self-inflicted. No, you can’t control every event in your life, but you can choose how to react to it. Wallowing in misery is counterproductive, so shift your focus away from the negative situation itself to the positive action you can take to make it better.

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9. Repeat after me: To take care of others, I must first take care of myself.

I know it never feels like there’s enough time in the day. I know life can feel like a never-ending To-Do List. I know you have children to raise, bills to pay, essays to write, jobs to fulfill, and chores to do. But you’re not the Energizer Bunny. You cannot expect yourself to be able to take care of every other person in your life if you can’t be bothered to take care of yourself. The sooner you get that, the more happy and fulfilled your life will be.

10. Smile, because you are worthy of love and happiness.

Will you smile for me? A giggle or chuckle would be even better. You can fake it if you have to. Don’t feel silly; it will make you feel better, I promise.

Life gets a lot better when you can learn to love yourself like you mean it.

If you find it difficult to wrap your head around the concept of self-love, I highly recommend reading the book, “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It” by Kamal Ravikant. I know the concept of “falling in love with yourself” might seem a little awkward, but it is a great way to improve your body image and self-esteem. Please pass this along to any friends who you feel would be helped by it, and tell us how performing these steps worked for you in the comments.

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on June 18, 2019

40 Ways to Achieve Peace Of Mind and Inner Calm

40 Ways to Achieve Peace Of Mind and Inner Calm

Do you have racing thoughts and find yourself constantly worrying? An anxious mind is truly distressing.

The good news is, there’re simple things you can do to calm your thought.

If you want to achieve peace of mind and inner calm, try these 40 simple powerful ways:

1. Listen to Music

Studies have found that relaxing music can help kids with ADHD to be calmer and focus. But it doesn’t matter what genre of music you want to listen to, as long as you enjoy it and it makes you feel relaxed.

Music is food for the soul and an instant way to gain peace of mind.

2. Deep Breathing

When you focus on your breathing, your mind’s attention is drawn to the life-enhancing process of drawing in air and exhaling.

Take five long, deep breaths and focus on your lungs and diaphragm as you do this. This is a quick and easy way to instantly feel calm.

Here’re also 5 Breathing Exercises for Anxiety (Simple and Calm Anxiety Quickly).

3. Go for a Walk

Getting out in the fresh air can do you a world of good and promote peace of mind. Take a break and get the blood pumping – especially when the sun is shining.

4. Enjoy Nature

Too much concrete is never a good thing. Spending time in nature can actually make you feel younger, happier. Here’s why.

Spend time away from the city. Listen to the birds singing and enjoy the peace and tranquility.

5. Play with a Pet

Having a pet to play with is a great way to de-stress. Touch is a powerful sense and can ease tension and promote peace of mind.

6. Declutter

Have regular clear-outs. Clutter can add to feelings of tension and a clean, clear home allows a clearer, more peaceful mind.

Take a look at this article and learn How to Declutter Your Mind to Sharpen Your Brain and Fall Asleep Faster.

7. Acceptance

Acceptance is crucial for peace of mind. Accepting that there are few guarantees in the world and learning to tolerate uncertainty is a huge leap in the peace-of-mind stakes. Differentiate between what you can and cannot control.

8. Mindfulness

When we are mindful, we are fully present in the moment and acutely aware of our five senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing and smell.

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Engage your senses. This leaves less time for your mind to worry and think about “what ifs.”

Here you can learn about The Power of Mindfulness.

9. Self Love

The more we like ourselves, the greater our peace of mind. We accept ourselves more and feel at ease in the world, no matter what situation we find ourselves in. We experience less insecurity and as a result, our inner peace is heightened.

Start trying these 30 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself.

10. Be True to You

This is another vital component of peace of mind. When we practice congruency, we behave similarly to the way we feel and think. When the way we see ourselves and the way the world sees us is the same, we are practicing congruency.

Problems arise when we see ourselves one way (for example, as a loving mother) but behave in ways that are at odds with how we would like to see ourselves (for example, neglect our children because we are too busy). Finding ways to keep our inner ideals and the way we behave similar is one of the keys to peace of mind.

Find out How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want.

11. Sense of Humor

Laugh a lot. The world is instantly a better place when you can see the funny side of life. Laughter is a great antidote for stress and releases hormones that help us relax.

12. Love Unconditionally

When you don’t expect anything back, it makes it easier to love without fear. When we love with conditions attached, our unmet expectations can create inner turmoil and feelings of resentment. Insecurities destroy peace of mind.

13. Go for Regular Health Checks

It pays to keep checks on your health and look after yourself. Letting ourselves go can indicate a lack of self-respect, and this in turn will affect the way we see the world and the way others interact with us. Be kind to yourself and make the most of what you have.

14. Take Stock

Every now and then, it’s a good idea to check whether you’re happy with the quality of your life. Do you like your job? Your relationship? Are you on the right track? Make adjustments if necessary to restore peace of mind.

15. Have Goals

This ties in with number 14. Goals keep us going in the right direction and give us a sense of purpose. Make your goals SMART: How to Set SMART Goal to Make Lasting Changes in Life

16. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

This relates to number 11. Learn to be more flexible in your approach to life. The more rigid our thinking is, the easier it is to experience situations that contradict our rigid ideas.

17. Live in the Moment

Instead of worrying about the past or panicking about the future, really enjoy the NOW. It’s all we have — this moment in time.

When we live in the present, the concerns of the past and future can’t worry us.

Here’re some tips on How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future.

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18. Worry Less

We apparently have somewhere between 30,000 – 75,000 thoughts per day, of which 80% are random “nonsense.”

Learn to “shelve” worrying by reminding yourself that most of your worries are unproductive and remove any chance of peace of mind.

Some advice for you who worry often: How to Worry Less: 90% of What You Fear Won’t Happen

19. Be Assertive

You have as much right to be here and to have an opinion as anyone else. When we become passive or submissive, we do ourselves a disservice.

Being assertive isn’t about your needs ahead of others (aggressive) or their needs ahead of yours (passive). Rather, it is about compromise —  a “win-win” situation.

Learn How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way.

20. Speak Your Mind

Don’t be afraid to say what you’re thinking. This goes hand in hand with being assertive.

Ask for what you want in life. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

21. Enjoy “Me-Time”

Time out is important. A little bit of selfish time to treat yourself or do exactly as you please sets you up for taking on the constant demands of life. Balance in life is crucial.

22. Frolic

The free online dictionary describes the word “frolic” as:

“To behave playfully and uninhibitedly; romp.”

All work and no play will stress anyone out. Make time for things you enjoy. Try to inject fun into situations that aren’t particularly enjoyable. Approach life with a playful attitude. When did you last let the child in you come out to play?

23. Let It Go

There are some things that you just cannot change, no matter how hard you try. Know when to cut your losses and detach (Just like Elsa does!)

When you start to let go of your past, these 10 things will happen.

24. Resist Guilt

Guilt is a negative emotion that removes peace of mind. Although it can motivate us (in the wrong way), it is still a toxic emotion.

Challenge the reasons for your guilt to make sure you aren’t placing unnecessary pressure on yourself.

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25. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

Focusing on all the things in our lives that we are grateful for promotes peace of mind and reminds us that there are always positives. Sometimes we just have to nudge our awareness.

Try these 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

26. See Failure as a Learning Curve

Failure has such negative connotations, but actually, everyone fails. How can you improve or learn anything if you never fail?

A healthy attitude towards failure encourages bravery. It’s not you that is the failure, instead it is what you tried that failed. There is a big difference.

27. Connect with Others

One of the true joys of life is sharing life with others and knowing that others “get” you. We feel less alone and feeling understood allows a fantastic sense of well-being.

28. Test Your Limits

You’ll never know your true potential if you always stay in your comfort zone. As the old saying goes, it is better to look back and regret what you did than regret all those things you wish you’d tried.

Learn to step out of your comfort zone: 10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

29. Find Positive Outlets for Negative Emotions

Sports, online forums, like-minded people, hobbies…whatever takes your fancy. Suppressing negative emotions can lead to ill health. Release tension and frustration in a pro social way and feel a whole lot happier.

30. Slow Down

Why does everything need to be accomplished today? Often, we place unrealistic pressure on ourselves when there is no need to.

Challenge your impatience, be mindful and enjoy life in the moment.

31. Challenge Your “Shoulds” and “Musts”

Self-induced pressure never leads to inner tranquility or peace of mind. Replace “should” with “could” and live life more on your own terms.

32. Be Kind

It’s free and it makes a difference. When we show kindness, it gives us an inner boost, too.

You can try these 29 Ways to Carry Out Random Acts of Kindness Every Day.

33. Don’t Compare

The more we compare, the more we lose ourselves.

Forget what everyone else is doing or saying. What do YOU want? We all have our own paths to follow, and we are all learning and going through life at our unique pace.

Focus on your own journey and lose the stress of comparing yourself to what you think is going on in the lives of others. This is a surefire way to eliminate peace of mind.

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34. Affirmations

Talk to yourself positively by using affirmations. A good example of one that encourages peace of mind is: “No matter what comes my way, I will find a way to get through it.”

Believe in yourself and remind yourself regularly that you will be okay.

Need some more inspirations to affirm yourself? Here’re 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life.

35. Save a Little Money as Often as You Can

Putting money aside is always a good idea. If you can afford to save money regularly, do it. Start up a regular debit each month, and you won’t even realize it’s gone.

36. Less Is More

Money buys choice, but it doesn’t buy us the happiness we crave. Be content with the simpler things in life — that’s where the real long-lasting joy and peace of mind comes from.

37. Perspective

Always  keep your eye on the bigger picture. Will you feel this way next week, or a year from now? Will your current experience of life seem as important?

More often than not, you will be just fine. Foster peace of mind by maintaining perspective in life.

38. Monitor Your Thoughts

Our thoughts can make or break our quality of life. Make sure to choose thinking that works for you.

Talk to yourself as you would a best friend. Self-loathing serves no purpose and will undoubtedly extract joy from your life.

39. Stand up for What You Believe In

Whether it’s protecting animals or helping those less fortunate than yourself, follow your heart and your passion. Fight the urge to fit in and do what’s expected.

When you change yourself to suit others, you give away your peace of mind.

40. Get Enough Sleep

When we’re tired and grumpy, nothing goes smoothly. Get eight hours of sleep per night and regenerate your body.

Final Thoughts

The most important ways to achieve peace of mind involve being true to yourself, accepting that life is uncertain and watching your thinking. Many of us mentally “torture” ourselves daily with the things we tell ourselves.

Trust your thoughts less, pay less attention to the negative ones and focus on what you are thankful for in life, and you’ll be well on your way to inner peace of mind.

Featured photo credit: sean Kong via unsplash.com

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