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When You Know It’s Time To Let Go And Love Yourself More

When You Know It’s Time To Let Go And Love Yourself More

You’ve probably heard people say you must learn to love yourself before you can love another; but what if you stop loving yourself? What if you lost yourself in a messy relationship; or a good relationship has gone bad? Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

There are times in life when you must give up the things or the people (sometimes both) that you love in order to love youself. Think about it. What would you say to a diabetic who refused to stop eating sugar? You might ask them, “why have you stopped caring for yourself?” Here are Five times when you know it’s time to let go and love yourself more.

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When you have to sacrifice your happiness

First, you must understand that you are in charge of your own happiness. If you are feeling unhappy, only you can fix it. If you are feeling unloved, that is a cry out from yourself to love yourself. Likewise, it is not your job to make another person happy either. If you are sacrificing your own happiness for someone else, it isn’t healthy for either person and it could be a sign that it’s time to let go.

When you’re expected to be someone you’re not

When you’re expected to be someone you’re not, it makes you feel like who you are is not good enough and that is a dangerous road to go down my friend. Remember, you are a beautiful person. When you spend your time with others who make you feel like you are less than you are, or like you’re not good enough, it will not only strip your identity, but it will put your identity in the control of another person. That’s the last place it should be. After all, it is your identity. Thus the cycle continues and, until you make the choice to let go and love yourself, you will continue to drown in self-doubt and lost identity. Instead, try and realize that when this happens, it’s time to let go of others’ expectations and love yourself more than them.

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When you have become someone you’re not

This is a big one and it happens over a long period of time in relationships. It happens when you ignore yourself for too long and allow yourself to be influenced by another person because you feel like you are only “good enough” if they say you are. It happens when you love someone so much and you think you need to sacrifice yourself for them to the point that you stop caring about your own needs. Look, being someone you’re not is bad enough, but God forbid you to wake up one day and realize you don’t like the person you’ve become. Sometimes parents have to tell their children they cannot hang out with certain friends because they always get into trouble. This is exactly why. Different people open up different roads to different futures. If you realize you went down the wrong road and have become someone you never should have become, then it’s time to let go of the life you have and open up opportunities for a new life.

When you refuse to let go because of fear

If you know deep down that it’s time to leave something or someone behind, but you haven’t done so because you’re afraid, then trust me—you are not alone. This is one of the most common reasons people have for not letting go. I put off quitting smoking for years because I was afraid. Afraid of losing something I enjoyed, afraid that I would lose friends, afraid I couldn’t do it. There is always something to fear with any decision that you make, but ultimately you must do what’s right for you. If you are in a situation where you are being hurt, as I was when I was smoking, then you are not being loving to yourself. Anything that you do that opposes self love should be let go.

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When you have lost self-worth

If you find that you have lost self-worth then there’s a problem. When you constantly put a person before you, you basically tell yourself that you’re not worth as much as they are. This is dangerous thinking. To share a life with someone is a beautiful thing. To spend your entire life putting yourself down to serve another—even if it started by your own choice—is no way to live. It’s never too late to stop this behavior and let go of this thinking. If someone or something is demeaning you, if you feel like you deserve what’s happening to you, or if you think you don’t deserve love, that’s even more of a reason to let go of these thoughts. You deserve love, so stop refusing to allow yourself to have it.

There’s only one person in this world who can love 100% you and that’s the person that knows you 100%–YOU! It’s not easy, but with a lot of work and self care you can let go of this thinking. You will have to make sacrifices. Sometimes you must let go of things in life and people you love, even long term relationships and marriages. The bottom line is, if something or someone is depleting your identity, self worth, and making you unhappy, it is time to let go and move on to a place of love, wellbeing, self-fulfillment, and happiness.

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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