Advertising

6 Ways to Show Yourself the Love You Truly Deserve

Advertising
6 Ways to Show Yourself the Love You Truly Deserve

Do you ever feel like you’re unworthy of love? You don’t need to lose weight, become a less angry person, or finish your degree to deserve love. You deserve love now exactly as you are right now. Period.

It’s time to fall in love with the beautiful miraculous creature you are. Love is not just a feeling, it is also a verb…an action you take, something you show. Here are six steps to show yourself once and for all how worthy you are of love!

1. Surprise yourself and find out how wonderful you really are

We are ourselves every single day. We have no idea what it’s like to be the person looking at us, talking with us, depending on us.

Curious to know more? Ask a few of your closest friends or family to write down what they really value about you.This does not mean you should depend on outside opinions, or lead your life to please others. But why not draw on that deep resource of those who know you best?

You may be surprised of how you touch and inspire others by just being you. You matter more than you can possibly know.

2. Stare into the mirror of the past and the present

Once we were all innocent, beautiful children, free of the burdens of our mistakes or guilt. Free of stress and worry.

Get out old pictures of yourself, spanning a period of years. You may choose the ages of 5, 12 and 18 for example. Really look at each picture for five minutes. Look into your eyes. Look at your face. Are you smiling or showing any other emotion?

Look at the child you once were with softness, the same way you look at any other child you love. Let your energy connect with the spirit you witness in the photos. Journal any feelings that you have about each picture. Now take the photos into the bathroom, and place them on the counter top in front of you. Lean forward and look into your eyes in the mirror with the same soft love you just gave to yourself as a child.

Advertising

You are the same exact person. You deserve the same love, peace and acceptance. Give it to yourself now, freely without needing to be anything other than who you are right now in this exact moment.

love yourself candy

    3. Go on a special date with yourself

    A day long date is what you need. Spend one whole day with yourself. Be utterly selfish for one day. Do only things you desire and which benefit only you.

    How do you show loved ones that you value them? You spend time with them. The only way to truly reconnect with yourself and get comfortable with who you are at your core is to spend time with yourself.

    This needs to be alone time. We are not always our 100% true selves around others. This is a chance to set aside any masks and observe your thoughts, feelings, desires.

    You make others feel important by investing your time in them. Give yourself the same.

    That does not mean clean the house. It doesn’t mean go out with friends. Set aside one entire day to follow your whimsy as it comes to you. It may start a little slow at first, and that’s fine. It will come to you. You may end up sleeping or reading in bed until noon. Or maybe it will end with pizza and wine during a bubble bath. Browsing a bookstore for hours. Sitting outside in the park people watching.

    Anything your heart desires as long as it happens alone, and for yourself only.

    Advertising

    Be selfish today. Tomorrow will come soon enough, and you can go back to doing whatever needs to be done for others. Today is for you! Fully immerse and enjoy.

    4. Revisit your life-changing triumphs

    Take some time to journal the major triumphs you’ve had in life so far. This is not a list of your resume accomplishments that you use to get a job or to impress people. Those are glories that fade.

    Let’s go deep.

    Make a list of your most difficult struggles you have faced. Did you overcome a rough childhood? Make it through a divorce, or an abusive relationship? Put yourself through school? Care for an aging parent?

    What has life dealt you that required significant grit and grace to overcome? How did that change and form you into the person you see in the mirror? At the time you went through these life turning challenges you probably felt alone, unloved and like the world was coming down upon you.

    But, when we look at these events in the rear view mirror we can see now that they formed us into more compassionate loving souls than before the struggle. The most beautiful generous people we know have often endured great tragedy that shaped them into who they are now.

    Take a few minutes to look over what you wrote down. Aren’t you amazed what you’ve made it through? I bet. Feel good about what you’ve faced down, and grown stronger from. You are stronger than you realize.

    5. Change your perspective 180 degrees

    We all have that voice in our heads that puts us down. Tells us things we wouldn’t be cruel enough to say to a stranger. Turn that voice around for a moment. Instead of pushing these thoughts away, take a new look. What is the positive side?

    Advertising

    Are you shy and uncomfortable in groups? Introverts are some of our most progressive thought leaders, and have empathy to the max. Are you a sucker for anyone who needs something? That generosity is a rare gem to be found. Are you the picture of messy disorganization? That lack of structure leads to greater creativity.

    Each aspect that voice has been putting you down for brings the world and you some positives as well. Take a different perspective and go easier on the self-judgment.

    Get sassy and talk right back to that voice.

    love yourself passion 2

      6. Play with your passions

      What are you passionate about?

      Notice I didn’t say what are you are good at. Just because you are good at something does not mean it brings you joy. A passion brings joy to you at your soul level. Very few of us are living aligned with our passions.

      What do you love to do that you have lost touch with? What do you know you love that you maybe even hide from others? What did you want to be when you were a child?

      When was the last time you were jumping out of your shoes excited for the day ahead? Excitement is the compass we use to seek out our passions. Do you have dreams that you are going to work on “someday”? Do more of what you love today. What are you waiting for? Why not move one small step at a time in the direction of what you love to do?

      Most of us could win a Ninja Warrior competition if the event was self-sabotage. We know we have dreams and then put them aside. Instead of side-steping your passions step into them. Dream of opening a bakery? Then start testing new recipes on your friends and family, and taking notes.

      Advertising

      If you could do anything you wanted everyday what would it be? Add more of that to your life and you’ll feel more alive and at ease with yourself. Follow your heart more and your head less.

      Life isn’t about arriving or achieving at one certain spot called “someday”, it’s about enjoying our passions now as we grow ourselves along with our dreams. You don’t need permission to explore what you love.

      Don’t wait. Begin this new relationship with YOU right now.

      Excited to get started? Nervous to ask for insight from those close to you? Maybe the mirror exercise sounds too “out there” for your taste?

      But, here’s the thing….if you want to feel different, think different….then you will have to do something different.

      These exercises are designed to take you somewhere sparkling new in your thoughts and feelings towards yourself. To think differently, and to attain a new perspective that leads to growth.

      Get in touch with and soften your love of yourself more than ever before.

      Speak to yourself with the kindness you use for others. Get 100% on your own team! Support yourself with a gentle love and watch yourself soar higher than you ever thought possible.

      More by this author

      Dawn Hafner

      Dawn is a Practical Life Coach who offers concrete tools to help people implement life changes.

      When You Start to Let Go of Your Past, These 10 Things Will Happen 6 Ways to Show Yourself the Love You Truly Deserve 5 Truths About Abusive Relationships 10 Things About Love Only Introverts Would Understand 20 Really Cute Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For Your Special One

      Trending in Communication

      1 15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do) 2 10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character 3 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time 4 8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future 5 How to Learn a Language in Just 30 Minutes a Day

      Read Next

      Advertising
      Advertising

      Last Updated on November 18, 2021

      10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

      Advertising
      10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

      We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

      A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

      So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

      • honest
      • reliable
      • competent
      • kind and compassionate
      • capable of taking the blame
      • able to persevere
      • modest and humble
      • pacific and can control anger.

      The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

      1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

      All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

      Advertising

      But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

      2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

      How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

      I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

      “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

      Abigail Van Buren

      3. How does this person take the blame?

      Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

      4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

      You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

      5. Read their emails.

      Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

      • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
      • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
      • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
      • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
      • Too many question marks can show anger
      • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

      6. Watch out for the show offs.

      Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

      7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

      A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

      Advertising

      Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

      8. Their empathy score is high.

      Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

      People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

      9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

      We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

      “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

      Stendhal

       10. Avoid toxic people.

      These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

      • Envy or jealousy
      • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
      • Complaining about their own lack of success
      • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
      • Obsession with themselves and their problems

      Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

      Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

      Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

      Advertising

      Read Next