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6 Ways to Show Yourself the Love You Truly Deserve

6 Ways to Show Yourself the Love You Truly Deserve

Do you ever feel like you’re unworthy of love? You don’t need to lose weight, become a less angry person, or finish your degree to deserve love. You deserve love now exactly as you are right now. Period.

It’s time to fall in love with the beautiful miraculous creature you are. Love is not just a feeling, it is also a verb…an action you take, something you show. Here are six steps to show yourself once and for all how worthy you are of love!

1. Surprise yourself and find out how wonderful you really are

We are ourselves every single day. We have no idea what it’s like to be the person looking at us, talking with us, depending on us.

Curious to know more? Ask a few of your closest friends or family to write down what they really value about you.This does not mean you should depend on outside opinions, or lead your life to please others. But why not draw on that deep resource of those who know you best?

You may be surprised of how you touch and inspire others by just being you. You matter more than you can possibly know.

2. Stare into the mirror of the past and the present

Once we were all innocent, beautiful children, free of the burdens of our mistakes or guilt. Free of stress and worry.

Get out old pictures of yourself, spanning a period of years. You may choose the ages of 5, 12 and 18 for example. Really look at each picture for five minutes. Look into your eyes. Look at your face. Are you smiling or showing any other emotion?

Look at the child you once were with softness, the same way you look at any other child you love. Let your energy connect with the spirit you witness in the photos. Journal any feelings that you have about each picture. Now take the photos into the bathroom, and place them on the counter top in front of you. Lean forward and look into your eyes in the mirror with the same soft love you just gave to yourself as a child.

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You are the same exact person. You deserve the same love, peace and acceptance. Give it to yourself now, freely without needing to be anything other than who you are right now in this exact moment.

love yourself candy

    3. Go on a special date with yourself

    A day long date is what you need. Spend one whole day with yourself. Be utterly selfish for one day. Do only things you desire and which benefit only you.

    How do you show loved ones that you value them? You spend time with them. The only way to truly reconnect with yourself and get comfortable with who you are at your core is to spend time with yourself.

    This needs to be alone time. We are not always our 100% true selves around others. This is a chance to set aside any masks and observe your thoughts, feelings, desires.

    You make others feel important by investing your time in them. Give yourself the same.

    That does not mean clean the house. It doesn’t mean go out with friends. Set aside one entire day to follow your whimsy as it comes to you. It may start a little slow at first, and that’s fine. It will come to you. You may end up sleeping or reading in bed until noon. Or maybe it will end with pizza and wine during a bubble bath. Browsing a bookstore for hours. Sitting outside in the park people watching.

    Anything your heart desires as long as it happens alone, and for yourself only.

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    Be selfish today. Tomorrow will come soon enough, and you can go back to doing whatever needs to be done for others. Today is for you! Fully immerse and enjoy.

    4. Revisit your life-changing triumphs

    Take some time to journal the major triumphs you’ve had in life so far. This is not a list of your resume accomplishments that you use to get a job or to impress people. Those are glories that fade.

    Let’s go deep.

    Make a list of your most difficult struggles you have faced. Did you overcome a rough childhood? Make it through a divorce, or an abusive relationship? Put yourself through school? Care for an aging parent?

    What has life dealt you that required significant grit and grace to overcome? How did that change and form you into the person you see in the mirror? At the time you went through these life turning challenges you probably felt alone, unloved and like the world was coming down upon you.

    But, when we look at these events in the rear view mirror we can see now that they formed us into more compassionate loving souls than before the struggle. The most beautiful generous people we know have often endured great tragedy that shaped them into who they are now.

    Take a few minutes to look over what you wrote down. Aren’t you amazed what you’ve made it through? I bet. Feel good about what you’ve faced down, and grown stronger from. You are stronger than you realize.

    5. Change your perspective 180 degrees

    We all have that voice in our heads that puts us down. Tells us things we wouldn’t be cruel enough to say to a stranger. Turn that voice around for a moment. Instead of pushing these thoughts away, take a new look. What is the positive side?

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    Are you shy and uncomfortable in groups? Introverts are some of our most progressive thought leaders, and have empathy to the max. Are you a sucker for anyone who needs something? That generosity is a rare gem to be found. Are you the picture of messy disorganization? That lack of structure leads to greater creativity.

    Each aspect that voice has been putting you down for brings the world and you some positives as well. Take a different perspective and go easier on the self-judgment.

    Get sassy and talk right back to that voice.

    love yourself passion 2

      6. Play with your passions

      What are you passionate about?

      Notice I didn’t say what are you are good at. Just because you are good at something does not mean it brings you joy. A passion brings joy to you at your soul level. Very few of us are living aligned with our passions.

      What do you love to do that you have lost touch with? What do you know you love that you maybe even hide from others? What did you want to be when you were a child?

      When was the last time you were jumping out of your shoes excited for the day ahead? Excitement is the compass we use to seek out our passions. Do you have dreams that you are going to work on “someday”? Do more of what you love today. What are you waiting for? Why not move one small step at a time in the direction of what you love to do?

      Most of us could win a Ninja Warrior competition if the event was self-sabotage. We know we have dreams and then put them aside. Instead of side-steping your passions step into them. Dream of opening a bakery? Then start testing new recipes on your friends and family, and taking notes.

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      If you could do anything you wanted everyday what would it be? Add more of that to your life and you’ll feel more alive and at ease with yourself. Follow your heart more and your head less.

      Life isn’t about arriving or achieving at one certain spot called “someday”, it’s about enjoying our passions now as we grow ourselves along with our dreams. You don’t need permission to explore what you love.

      Don’t wait. Begin this new relationship with YOU right now.

      Excited to get started? Nervous to ask for insight from those close to you? Maybe the mirror exercise sounds too “out there” for your taste?

      But, here’s the thing….if you want to feel different, think different….then you will have to do something different.

      These exercises are designed to take you somewhere sparkling new in your thoughts and feelings towards yourself. To think differently, and to attain a new perspective that leads to growth.

      Get in touch with and soften your love of yourself more than ever before.

      Speak to yourself with the kindness you use for others. Get 100% on your own team! Support yourself with a gentle love and watch yourself soar higher than you ever thought possible.

      More by this author

      Dawn Hafner

      Dawn is a Practical Life Coach who offers concrete tools to help people implement life changes.

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      Last Updated on November 26, 2020

      How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

      How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

      As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

      “Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

      The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

      5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

      Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

      Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

      1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

      Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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      2. Show Compassion

      If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

      3. Communicate Regularly

      Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

      Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

      4. Ask for Feedback

      Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

      If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

      5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

      Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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      How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

      Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

      Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

      According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

      You Can Find Good Help

      It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

      Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

      Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

      Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

      Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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      You Pull Together as a Team

      Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

      Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

      Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

      Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

      Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

      Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

      Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

      Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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      Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

      Your Career Shines Bright

      Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

      Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

      When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

      Final Thoughts

      At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

      At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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      Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

      Reference

      [1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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