Do you ever feel like you’re unworthy of love? You don’t need to lose weight, become a less angry person, or finish your degree to deserve love. You deserve love now exactly as you are right now. Period.
It’s time to fall in love with the beautiful miraculous creature you are. Love is not just a feeling, it is also a verb…an action you take, something you show. Here are six steps to show yourself once and for all how worthy you are of love!
1. Surprise yourself and find out how wonderful you really are
We are ourselves every single day. We have no idea what it’s like to be the person looking at us, talking with us, depending on us.
Curious to know more? Ask a few of your closest friends or family to write down what they really value about you.This does not mean you should depend on outside opinions, or lead your life to please others. But why not draw on that deep resource of those who know you best?
You may be surprised of how you touch and inspire others by just being you. You matter more than you can possibly know.
2. Stare into the mirror of the past and the present
Once we were all innocent, beautiful children, free of the burdens of our mistakes or guilt. Free of stress and worry.
Get out old pictures of yourself, spanning a period of years. You may choose the ages of 5, 12 and 18 for example. Really look at each picture for five minutes. Look into your eyes. Look at your face. Are you smiling or showing any other emotion?
Look at the child you once were with softness, the same way you look at any other child you love. Let your energy connect with the spirit you witness in the photos. Journal any feelings that you have about each picture. Now take the photos into the bathroom, and place them on the counter top in front of you. Lean forward and look into your eyes in the mirror with the same soft love you just gave to yourself as a child.
You are the same exact person. You deserve the same love, peace and acceptance. Give it to yourself now, freely without needing to be anything other than who you are right now in this exact moment.
3. Go on a special date with yourself
A day long date is what you need. Spend one whole day with yourself. Be utterly selfish for one day. Do only things you desire and which benefit only you.
How do you show loved ones that you value them? You spend time with them. The only way to truly reconnect with yourself and get comfortable with who you are at your core is to spend time with yourself.
This needs to be alone time. We are not always our 100% true selves around others. This is a chance to set aside any masks and observe your thoughts, feelings, desires.
You make others feel important by investing your time in them. Give yourself the same.
That does not mean clean the house. It doesn’t mean go out with friends. Set aside one entire day to follow your whimsy as it comes to you. It may start a little slow at first, and that’s fine. It will come to you. You may end up sleeping or reading in bed until noon. Or maybe it will end with pizza and wine during a bubble bath. Browsing a bookstore for hours. Sitting outside in the park people watching.
Anything your heart desires as long as it happens alone, and for yourself only.
Be selfish today. Tomorrow will come soon enough, and you can go back to doing whatever needs to be done for others. Today is for you! Fully immerse and enjoy.
4. Revisit your life-changing triumphs
Take some time to journal the major triumphs you’ve had in life so far. This is not a list of your resume accomplishments that you use to get a job or to impress people. Those are glories that fade.
Let’s go deep.
Make a list of your most difficult struggles you have faced. Did you overcome a rough childhood? Make it through a divorce, or an abusive relationship? Put yourself through school? Care for an aging parent?
What has life dealt you that required significant grit and grace to overcome? How did that change and form you into the person you see in the mirror? At the time you went through these life turning challenges you probably felt alone, unloved and like the world was coming down upon you.
But, when we look at these events in the rear view mirror we can see now that they formed us into more compassionate loving souls than before the struggle. The most beautiful generous people we know have often endured great tragedy that shaped them into who they are now.
Take a few minutes to look over what you wrote down. Aren’t you amazed what you’ve made it through? I bet. Feel good about what you’ve faced down, and grown stronger from. You are stronger than you realize.
5. Change your perspective 180 degrees
We all have that voice in our heads that puts us down. Tells us things we wouldn’t be cruel enough to say to a stranger. Turn that voice around for a moment. Instead of pushing these thoughts away, take a new look. What is the positive side?
Are you shy and uncomfortable in groups? Introverts are some of our most progressive thought leaders, and have empathy to the max. Are you a sucker for anyone who needs something? That generosity is a rare gem to be found. Are you the picture of messy disorganization? That lack of structure leads to greater creativity.
Each aspect that voice has been putting you down for brings the world and you some positives as well. Take a different perspective and go easier on the self-judgment.
Get sassy and talk right back to that voice.
6. Play with your passions
What are you passionate about?
Notice I didn’t say what are you are good at. Just because you are good at something does not mean it brings you joy. A passion brings joy to you at your soul level. Very few of us are living aligned with our passions.
What do you love to do that you have lost touch with? What do you know you love that you maybe even hide from others? What did you want to be when you were a child?
When was the last time you were jumping out of your shoes excited for the day ahead? Excitement is the compass we use to seek out our passions. Do you have dreams that you are going to work on “someday”? Do more of what you love today. What are you waiting for? Why not move one small step at a time in the direction of what you love to do?
Most of us could win a Ninja Warrior competition if the event was self-sabotage. We know we have dreams and then put them aside. Instead of side-steping your passions step into them. Dream of opening a bakery? Then start testing new recipes on your friends and family, and taking notes.
If you could do anything you wanted everyday what would it be? Add more of that to your life and you’ll feel more alive and at ease with yourself. Follow your heart more and your head less.
Life isn’t about arriving or achieving at one certain spot called “someday”, it’s about enjoying our passions now as we grow ourselves along with our dreams. You don’t need permission to explore what you love.
Don’t wait. Begin this new relationship with YOU right now.
Excited to get started? Nervous to ask for insight from those close to you? Maybe the mirror exercise sounds too “out there” for your taste?
But, here’s the thing….if you want to feel different, think different….then you will have to do something different.
These exercises are designed to take you somewhere sparkling new in your thoughts and feelings towards yourself. To think differently, and to attain a new perspective that leads to growth.
Get in touch with and soften your love of yourself more than ever before.
Speak to yourself with the kindness you use for others. Get 100% on your own team! Support yourself with a gentle love and watch yourself soar higher than you ever thought possible.