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Frequent Complaining Can Badly Affect Your Brain, Here’s Why

Frequent Complaining Can Badly Affect Your Brain, Here’s Why

Recall the thoughts you have been having today. While you’re there, recall your thoughts from yesterday, and the day before, and the week before, and even the month or the year before that. Are there patterns? Or more pointedly – are there negative patterns? Can you see any repetition of thoughts that are negative, or unhelpful? Are you having them a lot? Are you then getting complaints from people that you are a bit of a whinger? A moaning Mandy?

Science allows us a deeper insight into the brain. It can show us the functions of our neurological transmitters and exactly what might be the reason behind such thought repetition – particularly where bad thoughts are concerned. We can begin to understand why we might be stuck in this cycle of negativity.
The question then remains, can we stop these bad thoughts? And if so, how?

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What Happens When We Vent Negative Thoughts

It isn’t just a process of getting thoughts out by verbalizing them, though this is a common belief held by many. In fact saying negative things, as we probably know by experiencing this, makes us feel generally worse. It also makes those listening to our incessant moaning feel bad too. And so the cycle continues.
Science picks up on this flaw, however, and allows us insight to the problem, and therefore denotes a more positive solution. Because negative thought patterns can also be negative for your health — the mental kind.

How Negative Thoughts Affect Our Brains

Your brain is a collection of Synapses, surrounded by empty space that is called the synapses cleft. When thoughts arise in our brains, they send a chemical from one synapse over to another (through the cleft). This builds a bridge of sorts between the two synapses where the electrical charge crosses, and the charge is carried across this bridge with all the information involved in this one thought. Each time this electrical charge is “triggered” by the thought, the synapses involved move closer together so there is less distance for the charge to travel.

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In essence, the brain is shifting, rewiring to eventually allow the two synapses to spark together. The brain is making the thought come more easily, by allowing the trigger to be sparked simultaneously by the chemical sparking together as one. It is allowing your mind to have that same thought again, but quicker.

How This Hurts

What this means is that if you are having negative thoughts, they’re going to come more frequently. You’ll be going about your day and that same thought pattern is going to continue to rear it’s ugly head. In other words, your negative thoughts may very well result in a pretty negative personality.

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What To Do

The flip side of this – as is the flip side of negative – is positive! And positivity. The exact same process can occur with positive thoughts. We can ‘train our brains’ to begin to perpetuate positive thoughts rather than negative ones, in the exact same way we would experience the negative thought cycle. This will render us “Happy as Larry” and propel to a positive and healthy personality.

Avoiding Negativity

Many things can inspire positivity, and there are steps you can take to ensure you are leaning toward positive charges through your synapse cleft! Aim for stress-free living as much as is possible. When you’re depressed or down the hormone Cortisol is released, and can lead to problems with your health, which in turn effects this whole cycle. Approach life the way that makes you the most happy.

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And remember that the company you keep can make the biggest of difference. If you are constantly surrounded by negativity and negative people, you can catch that drift! Don’t let it seep in and start messing with your Cortisol. Surround yourself with positivity, light, and good thoughts, and you will succeed in training your brain with happiness.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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