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7 Powerful Points to Remember When You Feel Self-Doubt

7 Powerful Points to Remember When You Feel Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is something we all experience in life. Here are some things to remember when you find yourself wallowing in doubt.

1. Your failures and mistakes do not define you.

It is your potential, your will, and your actions to reach your potential that define you. If you try to measure yourself, or worse, to identify yourself with what you think were mistakes and failures, you will inevitably end up doubting your worth and your abilities. Know that mistakes and failures are valuable lessons in life which do not define who you are in any way. It is how you deal with them and learn from them have something to say about who you are.

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2. When in a moment of doubt, look for a moment of clarity.

We all have moments in life when we seriously doubt ourselves. These moments can be short or long, but they are always moments in time that will pass if we open up to see beyond the moment. When in self-doubt, what we should be looking for is the exact opposite: a moment of clarity where we see all of our life issues, doubts, and fears from a wider angle and unchained from the particular time we are experiencing. In short, a “moment of clarity” should really be called “clarity beyond the moment.”

3. Self-doubt always comes from fear, insecurity, and inner disconnection.

Evaluating your strengths and weaknesses is a healthy part of inner self re-assessment. However, self-doubt is always an illusion. Why? Because it comes from fear and from being disconnected from your true inner self. Self-doubt is only a projection of your fears which can be dissolved by reconnecting to the intuitions of the heart rather than being trapped in thoughts and minds.

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4. The strongest remedy for self-doubt is self-love.

By far, the strongest, fastest vanquisher of self-doubt is self-love. Remembering to be gentle, kind, and loving towards yourself will dissolve and melt the harsh self-criticism which inevitably leads to self-doubt. Don’t be hard on yourself — there is never any good reason to be so. Loving oneself is not narcissistic — it is the basis for opening oneself up to life and others without falling into the limiting machinations of the mind.

5. You are not isolated.

One of the main effects of self-doubt is isolation. When we doubt our worth or value, it is because we first isolate ourself from the whole complete picture of our life. We isolate ourself from others and from ourself, from our beauty, successes, strengths, inner truths, and our real value and true authenticity. In fact, self-doubt is very selective — the ego mischievously focuses and highlights only the faults and fears in isolation without connecting them to all the positive truths about yourself. So when in doubt, remember you are never isolated but connected to a larger whole and a larger set of experiences that shape you.

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6. You don’t need confirmation or approval from others.

When we doubt ourself, we lose our points of reference. In that moment of weakness, we look even more for others’ approval and confirmation — which makes us even weaker and subject to more doubt.

Others have no say or authority over who you are and your true value. Only you do. The confirmation that you are a free, powerful, and beautiful being should come from your inner conviction — from your heart and not from anywhere else.

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7. Listen to your heart.

This is where real strength, power, and wisdom comes from. Doubt comes when we are tumbled into the battle between mind and heart and this mostly happens when we mute our heart or we lose touch with it. Reconnecting and listening to your heart is not an action you need to learn to do. It’s about silence, surrender, and trust. In short, sitting quietly and allowing. Meditation, reflection, contemplation, and spiritual retreats are all proven and tested paths for quietening the mind and deepening into the heart.

Featured photo credit: Kyle Broad via images.unsplash.com

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Gilbert Ross

Gilber is an expert in personal development and the creator of the online course 'Simple Living Hacks'

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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