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7 Powerful Points to Remember When You Feel Self-Doubt

7 Powerful Points to Remember When You Feel Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is something we all experience in life. Here are some things to remember when you find yourself wallowing in doubt.

1. Your failures and mistakes do not define you.

It is your potential, your will, and your actions to reach your potential that define you. If you try to measure yourself, or worse, to identify yourself with what you think were mistakes and failures, you will inevitably end up doubting your worth and your abilities. Know that mistakes and failures are valuable lessons in life which do not define who you are in any way. It is how you deal with them and learn from them have something to say about who you are.

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2. When in a moment of doubt, look for a moment of clarity.

We all have moments in life when we seriously doubt ourselves. These moments can be short or long, but they are always moments in time that will pass if we open up to see beyond the moment. When in self-doubt, what we should be looking for is the exact opposite: a moment of clarity where we see all of our life issues, doubts, and fears from a wider angle and unchained from the particular time we are experiencing. In short, a “moment of clarity” should really be called “clarity beyond the moment.”

3. Self-doubt always comes from fear, insecurity, and inner disconnection.

Evaluating your strengths and weaknesses is a healthy part of inner self re-assessment. However, self-doubt is always an illusion. Why? Because it comes from fear and from being disconnected from your true inner self. Self-doubt is only a projection of your fears which can be dissolved by reconnecting to the intuitions of the heart rather than being trapped in thoughts and minds.

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4. The strongest remedy for self-doubt is self-love.

By far, the strongest, fastest vanquisher of self-doubt is self-love. Remembering to be gentle, kind, and loving towards yourself will dissolve and melt the harsh self-criticism which inevitably leads to self-doubt. Don’t be hard on yourself — there is never any good reason to be so. Loving oneself is not narcissistic — it is the basis for opening oneself up to life and others without falling into the limiting machinations of the mind.

5. You are not isolated.

One of the main effects of self-doubt is isolation. When we doubt our worth or value, it is because we first isolate ourself from the whole complete picture of our life. We isolate ourself from others and from ourself, from our beauty, successes, strengths, inner truths, and our real value and true authenticity. In fact, self-doubt is very selective — the ego mischievously focuses and highlights only the faults and fears in isolation without connecting them to all the positive truths about yourself. So when in doubt, remember you are never isolated but connected to a larger whole and a larger set of experiences that shape you.

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6. You don’t need confirmation or approval from others.

When we doubt ourself, we lose our points of reference. In that moment of weakness, we look even more for others’ approval and confirmation — which makes us even weaker and subject to more doubt.

Others have no say or authority over who you are and your true value. Only you do. The confirmation that you are a free, powerful, and beautiful being should come from your inner conviction — from your heart and not from anywhere else.

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7. Listen to your heart.

This is where real strength, power, and wisdom comes from. Doubt comes when we are tumbled into the battle between mind and heart and this mostly happens when we mute our heart or we lose touch with it. Reconnecting and listening to your heart is not an action you need to learn to do. It’s about silence, surrender, and trust. In short, sitting quietly and allowing. Meditation, reflection, contemplation, and spiritual retreats are all proven and tested paths for quietening the mind and deepening into the heart.

Featured photo credit: Kyle Broad via images.unsplash.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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