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6 Overarching Goals You Should Have On Your Bucket List

6 Overarching Goals You Should Have On Your Bucket List

The world is an incredible place. You could spend every single moment of every single day finding something new to do without ever running out of options. It really is that enormous. Unfortunately, many of us choose not to live life to the fullest, instead opting to take the safest and most comfortable route whenever possible. Living this way might be the easiest way to go through life, but it’s definitely not the most fulfilling.

If you want to experience life to its fullest potential, create a bucket list of things you absolutely have to do at least once before you settle into the grave.

1. Travel

The first item on your bucket list should be to get up and get out. Simply put: People who don’t travel get locked into one way of living, and grow to believe it’s the only way to live. They lack the ability to see from different perspectives, and have a hard time accepting people who are different from themselves.

On the other hand, those who yearn to explore the world discover different cultures and ways of living – ironically coming to understand just how similar all humans really are in the process. By traveling the world, you’ll come to find that there is no single “right” way to live your life.

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You’ll also be exposed to the natural beauty of Earth. Whether exploring the rainforests of South America or looking for something to do in Dubai, there’s always more to see as long as you keep traveling.

2. Accomplish a Major Physical Feat

The human body is capable of a lot. However, we sometimes take our physical abilities for granted and allow our talents to go to waste. Of course, not everyone is capable of completing the same physical tasks – but we all can set individual goals that we’d like to accomplish at some point in our lives.

Whether it’s completing a marathon (or even a 10k), performing an extreme sport, or simply losing weight, we should all aim to do something with our bodies while they are full of life and able to run at peak performance.

3. Master a Skill

We’re blessed not only with machine-like bodies, but also with computer-like brains, as well. Our brains are responsible for all of the advances the human race has seen since we evolved tens of thousands of years ago. But, when not put to good use, the mind can be our most wasted gift of all. We should all do something every single day to ensure this doesn’t happen.

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Learn how to draw. Master a musical instrument. Learn a new language (vocal or programming). Become a chess wizard. Find something you love to do, and dedicate yourself to becoming great at it. It’s easy to be a hobbyist, but it’s much more rewarding to be a specialist.

4. Teach a Skill

If you’re good at something, you should never keep it to yourself.

First of all, teaching is the best way to truly learn. When you teach a skill to a newbie, you don’t simply scratch the surface – you dig deep, getting to the nuances of the topic. This means you need to have a true understanding of all facets of the topic at hand, so you can straighten out any confusion in your protege along the way.

Furthermore, when you undertake the responsibility of teaching a skill to a beginner, you pay it forward. You take into consideration all the effort and energy others put into teaching you, and you impart this wisdom in another up-and-coming individual. In this way, you continue a chain of learning that began way before you were even born, and will continue to grow long after you’re gone.

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5. Perform a Random Act of Kindness

Okay, you should definitely perform more than one good deed in your lifetime. In fact, doing nice things for others is a great way to increase your overall happiness. But this goes beyond small deeds like holding doors and buying coffee for the mother in line behind you at Starbucks.

You should aim to do something at least once in your life that truly puts someone else’s needs in front of your own. Make a sacrifice that, while it may set you back a little bit, will make a world of difference in someone else’s life. You never know just how great an effect your efforts can have on the world. Help someone else reach their full potential, and your influence will live on.

6. Do Something that Scares You

This should go without saying, since many of the items on this list likely frighten you at least a little bit. But a bucket list wouldn’t be a bucket list if it didn’t include activities that scare the daylights out of you.

Above all else, you should aim to do something you never thought you would do in life. Though the phrase “you only live once” has become an overused meme over the past few years, the sentiment is true: When you’re lying on your deathbed, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did.

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Don’t let a case of the “what if”s stop you from doing something new and exciting. You never know if you’ll enjoy it unless you give it a shot.

Featured photo credit: Skydiving / Brian Griffiths /Flickr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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