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How to Handle a Summer Move

How to Handle a Summer Move

Stress — that’s what moving means to many people.

In fact, some people stay in locations they can barely stand for years on end simply because it’s easier than moving. Besides taking about two to three months of planning just to execute a (relatively) painless move to a new location, the actual moving logistics can be tremendously tough to deal with. And it doesn’t end there. Months after the move, most people are still sorting through their boxes, bags, and unpacked articles and finding a spot for them in their new locations.

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Whew!

Now, add to stressful situation the fact that you have chosen to move during the summer, and without even realizing it, you have just complicated your moving tasks and increased the cost of the move. Why? There are several reasons.

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May 1st through Labor Day is the busiest time of the year to move. Due to the increased consumer demand, a shortage typically exists in the supply of available moving staff and drivers. This helps to elevate costs and means that most moving companies will have their resources stretched to capacity. All this adds up to using seasonal help that might be less experienced as packers and drivers — adding to your already heightened stress levels. Additionally, you may have problems when it comes to adding extra services on the day of your move. If you’re looking for flexibility, moving in the off season may be a better idea.

Not only do you have to pay more for moving help in the summer, you may actually get less service in the bargain due to the seasonal demands that summer puts on the industry. What can you do to alleviate the stress of an already less-than-ideal situation? Follow these tips!

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1. Prepare your stuff for the heat.

Remember, the hot weather will conspire to make your move much less merry. Make sure items like candles, DVDs, and CDs do not melt in the moving van en route to your new home. Not only can the heat destroy certain items, melting items can also destroy items that surround them. Keep these items in their own special boxes and wrap them throughly. Better yet, store them with you in your air-conditioned car and move them into your new home first.

2. Hydrate and cool down.

Provide water and sports drinks for yourself and your helpers. Most professional moving teams will have an adequate supply of drinks, but if you’re not using pros, it might be a good idea to have something available for them. Buy a pack of water and put it in your new home’s fridge before you move so you’ll have refreshments on hand with minimal effort. Be sure to dress for the weather and check that the air conditioning is working in both your current home and destination home. Staying hydrated and having readily available cool environments will make the move much less grueling for everyone.

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3. Think of the children (and pets).

Planning for the comfort of your kids and pets is probably a no-brainer, but in the rushed atmosphere of a move, it’s easy for them to get lost in the shuffle. The best plan is to let your youngsters and animal kingdom family members just completely sit out the move. After all, they probably will be more comfortable if they aren’t actively involved with all the hardships and heat a summer move can bring.

If you’re planning to move over the summer, make sure you contact a reputable moving company and do your due diligence when it comes to researching their reputation. Make sure you look for reviews that were written during the summer as well so you know exactly what you’re getting into.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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