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6 Things You Do Without Realizing That Make You Look Less Intelligent

6 Things You Do Without Realizing That Make You Look Less Intelligent

We all like to think we’re pretty smart people. For the most part, we are.

However, our actions sometimes betray our intelligence in ways that we don’t really even notice – but are glaringly obvious to those around us.

Whenever you’re in a situation in which the way others perceive you is important – such as at school or work – you need to be constantly aware of how you portray yourself. From the way you dress and act to the way you talk and the content of what you say, the people surrounding you will use every opportunity they can to judge you – for better or worse.

Take this into consideration the next time you interact with anyone outside of your comfort zone.

Dressing Down

The way you present yourself to the world determines how you will be treated by those who don’t know you. If you dress well, you’ll give off an air of respectability. If you schlep around in sweatpants and a T-shirt, no one will feel the need to give you the time of day.

If your workplace requires you to follow a specific dress code, you should be sure to follow it exactly as written every time you walk into the office. Even something as simple as leaving your tie at home one day will lead your colleagues to believe that you don’t think the rules apply to you – or that you don’t understand the rules in the first place. If you choose to dress down even the slightest bit, don’t be surprised if your coworkers and supervisors don’t listen to a word you say.

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Misusing Words or Sayings

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    For those of us who remember Tim Allen’s sitcom Home Improvement, recall the ongoing shtick in which Tim’s neighbor Wilson would relay some sage advice to Tim, only to have Tim jumble up the story when trying to sound smart later on in the episode.

    While it was always good for a chuckle when done by a fictional character, mixing up popular words or phrases in the real world is more pathetic than hilarious. If you’re a professor of literacy education who thinks “conversate” is a word, for example, your students probably aren’t going to be able to take you seriously throughout the semester.

    Don’t simply use buzzwords just because you’ve heard someone else use them in similar situations. If you can’t explain what you mean without using a colloquialism, you probably shouldn’t have said it in the first place.

    (Author’s note: Sadly, the above example is a true story. Don’t be that person).

    Appearing Aloof

    We’ve all been caught staring into space at some point in our lives, and we’ve all had to pretend as if  we were really listening to whoever was speaking – whether it was our teacher, our boss, or our spouse.

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    While we often make the excuse that we were “deep in thought” when we get caught with a blank stare on our face, the truth is we simply weren’t focused on the task at hand. While there are many reasons why we may not have been focused on the speaker at the time, they’ll almost always assume we weren’t listening because we didn’t understand or care about what they were saying.

    When you fail to maintain proper eye contact and exhibit body language that shows you’re listening, the speaker is likely to think you’re completely lost and have no idea what they’re talking about. Either that, or they’ll think you’re focusing so intently on understanding what they’re saying that you don’t have enough brainpower left to nod your head in agreement.

    Either way, the blank stare doesn’t make you look good.

    Talking Too Much

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      We’ve all heard the saying “loose lips sink ships.”

      While unless you’re high-level military personnel, what you say probably isn’t a matter of national security. But the words that come out of your mouth can lead others to think you’re not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.

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      A good rule of thumb is to never say more than needs to be said.

      When you speak succinctly, you show that you’re able to collect your thoughts and explain them in an easily understandable manner. You know what’s important and needs to be said, and you know what can be inferred and doesn’t need explanation.

      On the other hand, if you’re one to babble on without thinking of what you’re saying, you give off the notion that you talk just to hear your own voice, or just say whatever’s on your mind and hope it makes sense to others.

      You have complete control over what comes out of your mouth. Choose wisely.

      Talking Too Little

      On the other hand, being too quiet can lead people to pass judgment on you, as well.

      For those of us who tend to take a backseat during conversation, we know that others may come to think that we’re being rude, or that we don’t have anything important to say. Though we know our quietness, shyness, or even introvertedness is not a sign of lower intelligence, others may not understand this so clearly.

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      Because of this, it’s important for the quiet ones among us to speak up from time to time. Remember: You don’t have to say a lot; you just have to say enough to let your counterpart know you’re listening and have some sort of intelligent opinion on the topic at hand.

      Judging Others

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        I realize this entire article is based around the fact that people will judge (and perhaps misjudge) you based on singular actions you take rather than seeing you as a whole person. I’m not saying this is right – but I am saying it absolutely will happen.

        But just because others judge you based on one-off encounters doesn’t mean you should do the same. In fact, it’s much safer to simply never judge anyone for anything, ever. None of us have any idea what it’s like to live someone else’s life. When you judge someone, what you’re really doing is assuming they’ve had the exact same privileges that you have had throughout your life. You’re holding them to your own standard, as if you should have some say in how they live their life.

        When you judge others, it shows you are only able to see the world through your own eyes, and have never once thought about the fact that, with seven billion people in the world, there are seven billion different ways to live.

        Featured photo credit: LB And the Ugly Suit / Jason Meserve / Flickr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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        Last Updated on April 23, 2019

        13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

        13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

        Let me begin by being 100% frank with you – everyone is capable of happiness.

        Happiness is first a choice but it also takes persistence to maintain. Happiness is our birth right and my mission is to help as many people as I can live their happiest life.

        My mission is to spread the message that everyone deserves happiness.

        To live a happy life; however, you must do the work, gain the necessary knowledge, and increase your awareness.

        You must fully embody this state and begin to think and feel happiness on every level of your being.

        Often times, excuses present themselves and our mind gives us the reasons why we can’t be happy:

        “I am too busy right now to focus on happiness”

        “I will be happy when I finish school, when I have the money, when I am in the right relationship, when I have kids, when my children are older….”

        “I would have had a happy life if this traumatic event had never happened”

        “I don’t deserve happiness”

        EVERYONE deserves happiness. The reason that you are here right now is because you have a purpose and you are on the earth to enjoy your journey.

        Think BIGGER than your excuses. Push FARTHER than your complaints.

        Don’t be pulled away from greatness. Get uncomfortable. At least these are what happy and successful people do on a daily basis.

        This article highlights the top 13 tips and tricks of how happy people think and feel.

        If you would like to begin embodying this life-changing state, then… Here are the 13 ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently:

        1. Happy People Put Happiness First

        Happy people have made the decision that their end goal is happiness.

        Every situation, event, bad day ultimately ends with happiness.

        To them, happiness is equivalent to sleep and water – it is a necessity to their life. To live an unhappy life is to have never lived at all.

        The happy person asks,

        “What would be the point of living if every day and moment were filled with negativity?”

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        “Why would I deplete my energy on negativity when I expend less to be positive?”

        They make happy-based decisions which means in EVERY MOMENT they choose happiness.

        If their circumstances can’t change then they instead change their perspective, they look for the silver lining in the negative.

        Happy people don’t let negativity steal their moments away – a positive mindset always prevails.

        If you ask a happy person how their day was, they will always answer your question with a highlight or a lesson learned.

        2. Happy People Embrace Pain

        I know what you are thinking –

        “No one is ALWAYS happy”

        or …

        “Even happy people get in bad moods”

        and …

        These statements are absolutely accurate.

        Happy people aren’t always happy and they DO get into bad moods. They get overwhelmed, they feel defeated, and their feelings get hurt.

        Happy people aren’t invincible and they feel pain just like everyone else. The only difference between happy people and people who let negativity run their lives is that…

        Happy people quickly acknowledge their pain and they make a decision to find a way to transform their pain into something greater. They also use these 13 simple ways to shake off the sadness.

        Happy people admit the negativity they feel and they do what it takes to get back into their natural state: happiness.

        When your end goal is happiness, then you will find a way to achieve it no matter how much strength you have to muster.

        3. Happy People Have a Happy Self-Image

        We all have an image in our minds that we subconsciously live up to.

        The reason that change is so hard is because our subconscious mind is programmed to live by how we define ourselves.

        How are you currently defining yourself?

        For happy people, they see themselves with a smile, positive outlook, and/or a bounce in their step. When an event or situation arises that brings in a negative emotion, they quickly change their state to resemble their natural self-image.

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        When happy people are in a bad mood, it feels unusual to them because feeling negative isn’t aligned with how they see themselves.

        When they feel upset, they acknowledge the negativity and look for a solution to bring their emotions to the level of how they perceive themselves.

        Look at how you define yourself today – your mind and body are always trying to live up to the definition it is taught to believe.

        Your body’s job is to keep you in a “normal” state because this is where it feels most comfortable.

        If your self-image is happy, then your mind and body will naturally be brought back to where it feels at home. Your actions will be a clue to how you define yourself.

        4. Happy People Have a Strong Support System

        The happiest people know that it takes a village and they lean on others for support.

        Happy people feel comfortable reaching out for help when they feel that their resistances are overpowering them. They quickly sense their negativity and they tell somebody.

        Happy people ask for assistance when they can’t figure out a problem. Seeking help takes strength and it never gets in the way of their self-worth. Happy people appreciate the wisdom that their support system provides.

        They have strong connections with the people who are close to them. They never trudge through tough times alone because jeopardizing their happiness for too long would be detrimental to their well-being.

        5. Happy People Safeguard Their Minds from Negative Triggers

        Warding off negativity is almost impossible when we live in a society that lives by what went wrong and feeds off of what could go wrong. News travels instantaneously so it would be unrealistic to shut this out of your life completely.

        However, one strategy that happy people use to safeguard their minds is regulating their environment.

        We have a lot of control on how we allow our environments to affect us. We can control our social media feed, the television shows and movies we watch, the books that we read, the people that we spend our time with, and the places that we hang out.

        If happiness is your end goal, then take a good look at what is bringing you down. What triggers your unhappiness? See if there is anything in your environment that can be changed……

        What we listen to, read, and who we hang out with influence our mind, what we think about, what we worry about, our reactions, and behaviors.

        Happy people know what triggers a feeling of negativity and it feels out of alignment for them so they do what it takes to avoid it.

        They might regulate their social media news feed to reflect the information that brings them positive energy. They might regulate the people that they spend their time with. It is important to hang out with like-minded people.

        What are you triggers? How can you avoid the negativity in your environment?

        These are ways that happy people regulate their environment and safeguard their minds.

        6. Happy People Know When to Say “No”

        Happy people know when to sit one out and say “no.” They do this to protect their happiness and well-being.

        Life gets overwhelming – a lot of people need our attention and the to do list can seem never ending.

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        Happy people give themselves permission to take the day off and they feel comfortable with saying “no” when their stress levels begin to climb. They understand that those around them aren’t benefiting from someone who is frazzled, overwhelmed, and tired.

        A happy person identifies their negative emotion and then they quickly treat it to bring themselves back to their “normal” state, so that they can be at their best for not only themselves but for those around them, too.

        A simple “no” can ultimately mean many more “yes’s” in the future because happiness has a long battery life. You can take a look at Leo Babauta’s article The Gentle Art of Saying No and learn to say no.

        7. Happy People Are Good Evaluators

        Happy people can quickly sense when something is off with themselves or others. They are very intuitive to happiness levels. When someone isn’t quite right, they are the first ones to notice.

        Being able to evaluate happiness means that you can identify when negativity is lingering around for too long.

        We all have bad days; however, the happy person evaluates often and quickly intervenes.

        In other words, happy people frequently evaluate their state and immediately change when their pessimism is overshadowing their joy.

        8. Happy People Bring Other People Up

        What goes on inside of us is mirrored into our physical world.

        What we think about literally consumes our life and is displayed in our work, relationships, and attitude.

        Happy people naturally feel good inside and about themselves so they treat others the way that they treat themselves. It never feels forced to give a compliment or to help out a stranger.

        When we are truly happy with ourselves, everyone around us has a better experience. Happy people are kind to themselves and because of this, it feels natural to them to want to make others’ happy, too.

        9. Happy People Go After Their Dreams

        Happy people are always following the joyful path. They make happy-based decisions and because of this, they always end up where they want to be.

        It’s absolutely impossible to be happy by following an undesirable path, which is quite opposite for unhappy people.

        Most people journey through life on a path they think they are “supposed” to be own. Warning signs (negativity) are often ignored because they truly believe that these feelings are a normal part of life.

        Negativity is NOT normal.

        The happiest people investigate the negativity in their life and quickly analyze the results. This process allows them to get back on the joyful path which ends in a desirable outcome.

        Follow your happiness and your dreams will come true (If that isn’t motivation then I don’t know what is!)

        In addition to happiness, here are 14 amazing things that happen when you live your passion.

        10. Happy People Never Sweat the Small Stuff

        The only expectation that the happy person has is that they remain in a joyful state.

        They rarely have expectations for the events and people in their lives because they know that this is a sure way to get let down.

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        The happiest people take life as it comes – you could say that they roll with the punches. When you don’t have expectations, thenyoue can just sit back and watch how beautifully life unfolds.

        Happy people understand that bad things are inevitable, they are a part of life – The car will break, the kids will make mistakes, people will be late, and dinner will burn.

        If it’s not anything seriously affecting their lives, then they don’t give their energy to it.

        11. Happy People Rarely Have to Prove That They Are Right

        Happy people remember that it’s more important to live up to what they believe. When you live your life aligned with your belief system, then there is no need to explain or prove yourself to others.

        Differences in opinions are inevitable, but the happiest of people know it’s wasted energy to defend their position.

        It is more effective to simply show people, through actions, how you think, feel, and what you believe.

        Energy is saved, arguments are diminished, and credibility/respect are gained when we live by what we believe.

        12. Happy People Smile (Even When They Don’t Want To)

        Smiling is one of the healthiest things we can do; and happy people use this simple trick quite often.

        It has been proven that smiling has the ability to boost your immune system, decrease stress levels, and can even make you look younger. The benefits of smiling have even been backed up by science.[1]

        Better yet, smiling is contagious. When you engage in a quick smile, you are likely to brighten someone else’s day along with your own. It is no wonder why happy people smile often!

        13. Happy People Live Life in the Present Moment.

        When we are genuinely happy, we are living for the moment.

        Happy people let go of the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future. They take the moments for what they are worth – they only invest their energy in what feels right to them.

        Everyone is capable of living a happy-centered life. You deserve a life that you desire – your dream life. All you have to start doing is make happy-based decisions TODAY.

        In every moment, decide on what makes you happy – decide on what gets you excited. Stop doing what you don’t love, don’t listen to the people that you dislike.

        If you are engaging in something that isn’t bringing you joy, then quit doing it. Listen to your heart, stop ignoring the warning signs (negativity) because they are there for a reason.

        I have observed, studied, and interviewed some of the happiest and most successful people along with some of the most miserable and self-loathing.

        It starts with one decision – happiness.

        The happiest, most successful people choose happiness with EACH and EVERY decision. And you can start doing this today.

        Featured photo credit: Autumn Goodman via unsplash.com

        Reference

        [1] Harvard Business Review: The Science Behind the Smile

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