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How to Forgive And Forget When It seems Impossible

How to Forgive And Forget When It seems Impossible

People say “it’s more easy to forgive than to forget”, some say “I forgive, but I don’t forget” while others say: “I don’t forgive, neither do I forget” and the rest are just experts in forgiving and forgetting. I understand that we’re all humans and sometimes, some events, incidents and encounters with certain individuals makes us agitated or just refuses to leave our minds.

In this article you will learn the principles and guidelines on how you can forgive and forget effectively.

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Principles of Forgiving

  • The definition of forgive simply is to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake”. To forgive someone, you need courage emotionally and spiritually. It doesn’t matter how bad someone might have offended you; I can tell you that the moment you make up your mind to forgive someone is the moment you set yourself free.
  • When you forgive, you are not doing the other party any favor; you are doing yourself a favor. Holding a grudge against someone is like eating poison and expecting someone else to die. Now that is ignorant isn’t it? And most of us are putting ourselves in that trap unknowingly.
  • Your heart must be transformed in a way that you begin to make excuses for people even when they step on your toes. Now this is easier said than done, especially if you’ve gotten your heart seriously broken by maybe a friend or family member you trusted, or a former spouse; we are all humans and we tend to get angry at people when they step on our toes especially in that kind of manner.
  • To forgive effectively, you have to follow these 3 steps:
    1. Acknowledge and replay the incident that took place,and the person who wronged you – think about the incident that broke your heart.
    2. Acknowledge the fact that they are human beings and no human being is  perfect.
    3. Call yourself apart, maybe you want to lock yourself in a room to get this process done, Begin to think and say loving words towards that person, you don’t necessarily have to pick up the phone and tell the person that you forgive them; it is not about them, it’s about you. Say stuff like this loud and clear “I’ve forgiven you (mention their name(s)), I refuse to hold on to this pain, I hereby set myself free”. Then begin to look at yourself stepping into a whole new dimension of freedom, gain and happiness.

Principles of Forgetting

  • The definition of forget is “to fail to remember.” When it comes to forgetting after forgiving, this is where most of us are facing issues, we don’t know how to forget that incident that triggers our agitating and sad emotions.
  • The principle of forgetting after you forgive does’t necessarily mean the incident has to be wiped away from your memory. Come on, we’re all humans and some events just will never leave our minds no matter how hard we try to get it out; it just won’t happen. Of course you have to remember one way or the other, so that you don’t put yourself in the same position whereby you will be hurt again. You have to be wise.
  • So how do you forget then? Or how do you know you let go from a wrong doer’s incident? The answer to this questions is another question I want you to think about: What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the wrong doer or when you see them? Does your blood start running hot and you lose it? Or your heart gets warm and you give them a beautiful smile? Think about it, If you get angry at the person when you see them, then you did not even forgive that person in the first place to begin with. But If you smile at them, you don’t even have to say hi, “you are killing them with kindness” and that will say a lot of positive things about you. If you can do that, you are now getting a tangible hold of the principle of forgetting.

In conclusion, there is something called loving someone from a distance, the person doesn’t have to be your close friend any more, but smiling at them and being able to even like their activities on social media is an exercise that will strengthen your heart for love. Even if you are still close to that person, just be wise and avoid putting yourself into such position of getting hurt again. True happiness comes from within, be careful what you are putting in.

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Featured photo credit: Admin via bodyenlightenment.me

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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