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How to Forgive And Forget When It seems Impossible

How to Forgive And Forget When It seems Impossible

People say “it’s more easy to forgive than to forget”, some say “I forgive, but I don’t forget” while others say: “I don’t forgive, neither do I forget” and the rest are just experts in forgiving and forgetting. I understand that we’re all humans and sometimes, some events, incidents and encounters with certain individuals makes us agitated or just refuses to leave our minds.

In this article you will learn the principles and guidelines on how you can forgive and forget effectively.

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Principles of Forgiving

  • The definition of forgive simply is to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake”. To forgive someone, you need courage emotionally and spiritually. It doesn’t matter how bad someone might have offended you; I can tell you that the moment you make up your mind to forgive someone is the moment you set yourself free.
  • When you forgive, you are not doing the other party any favor; you are doing yourself a favor. Holding a grudge against someone is like eating poison and expecting someone else to die. Now that is ignorant isn’t it? And most of us are putting ourselves in that trap unknowingly.
  • Your heart must be transformed in a way that you begin to make excuses for people even when they step on your toes. Now this is easier said than done, especially if you’ve gotten your heart seriously broken by maybe a friend or family member you trusted, or a former spouse; we are all humans and we tend to get angry at people when they step on our toes especially in that kind of manner.
  • To forgive effectively, you have to follow these 3 steps:
    1. Acknowledge and replay the incident that took place,and the person who wronged you – think about the incident that broke your heart.
    2. Acknowledge the fact that they are human beings and no human being is  perfect.
    3. Call yourself apart, maybe you want to lock yourself in a room to get this process done, Begin to think and say loving words towards that person, you don’t necessarily have to pick up the phone and tell the person that you forgive them; it is not about them, it’s about you. Say stuff like this loud and clear “I’ve forgiven you (mention their name(s)), I refuse to hold on to this pain, I hereby set myself free”. Then begin to look at yourself stepping into a whole new dimension of freedom, gain and happiness.

Principles of Forgetting

  • The definition of forget is “to fail to remember.” When it comes to forgetting after forgiving, this is where most of us are facing issues, we don’t know how to forget that incident that triggers our agitating and sad emotions.
  • The principle of forgetting after you forgive does’t necessarily mean the incident has to be wiped away from your memory. Come on, we’re all humans and some events just will never leave our minds no matter how hard we try to get it out; it just won’t happen. Of course you have to remember one way or the other, so that you don’t put yourself in the same position whereby you will be hurt again. You have to be wise.
  • So how do you forget then? Or how do you know you let go from a wrong doer’s incident? The answer to this questions is another question I want you to think about: What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the wrong doer or when you see them? Does your blood start running hot and you lose it? Or your heart gets warm and you give them a beautiful smile? Think about it, If you get angry at the person when you see them, then you did not even forgive that person in the first place to begin with. But If you smile at them, you don’t even have to say hi, “you are killing them with kindness” and that will say a lot of positive things about you. If you can do that, you are now getting a tangible hold of the principle of forgetting.

In conclusion, there is something called loving someone from a distance, the person doesn’t have to be your close friend any more, but smiling at them and being able to even like their activities on social media is an exercise that will strengthen your heart for love. Even if you are still close to that person, just be wise and avoid putting yourself into such position of getting hurt again. True happiness comes from within, be careful what you are putting in.

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Featured photo credit: Admin via bodyenlightenment.me

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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