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How to Forgive And Forget When It seems Impossible

How to Forgive And Forget When It seems Impossible

People say “it’s more easy to forgive than to forget”, some say “I forgive, but I don’t forget” while others say: “I don’t forgive, neither do I forget” and the rest are just experts in forgiving and forgetting. I understand that we’re all humans and sometimes, some events, incidents and encounters with certain individuals makes us agitated or just refuses to leave our minds.

In this article you will learn the principles and guidelines on how you can forgive and forget effectively.

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Principles of Forgiving

  • The definition of forgive simply is to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake”. To forgive someone, you need courage emotionally and spiritually. It doesn’t matter how bad someone might have offended you; I can tell you that the moment you make up your mind to forgive someone is the moment you set yourself free.
  • When you forgive, you are not doing the other party any favor; you are doing yourself a favor. Holding a grudge against someone is like eating poison and expecting someone else to die. Now that is ignorant isn’t it? And most of us are putting ourselves in that trap unknowingly.
  • Your heart must be transformed in a way that you begin to make excuses for people even when they step on your toes. Now this is easier said than done, especially if you’ve gotten your heart seriously broken by maybe a friend or family member you trusted, or a former spouse; we are all humans and we tend to get angry at people when they step on our toes especially in that kind of manner.
  • To forgive effectively, you have to follow these 3 steps:
    1. Acknowledge and replay the incident that took place,and the person who wronged you – think about the incident that broke your heart.
    2. Acknowledge the fact that they are human beings and no human being is  perfect.
    3. Call yourself apart, maybe you want to lock yourself in a room to get this process done, Begin to think and say loving words towards that person, you don’t necessarily have to pick up the phone and tell the person that you forgive them; it is not about them, it’s about you. Say stuff like this loud and clear “I’ve forgiven you (mention their name(s)), I refuse to hold on to this pain, I hereby set myself free”. Then begin to look at yourself stepping into a whole new dimension of freedom, gain and happiness.

Principles of Forgetting

  • The definition of forget is “to fail to remember.” When it comes to forgetting after forgiving, this is where most of us are facing issues, we don’t know how to forget that incident that triggers our agitating and sad emotions.
  • The principle of forgetting after you forgive does’t necessarily mean the incident has to be wiped away from your memory. Come on, we’re all humans and some events just will never leave our minds no matter how hard we try to get it out; it just won’t happen. Of course you have to remember one way or the other, so that you don’t put yourself in the same position whereby you will be hurt again. You have to be wise.
  • So how do you forget then? Or how do you know you let go from a wrong doer’s incident? The answer to this questions is another question I want you to think about: What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the wrong doer or when you see them? Does your blood start running hot and you lose it? Or your heart gets warm and you give them a beautiful smile? Think about it, If you get angry at the person when you see them, then you did not even forgive that person in the first place to begin with. But If you smile at them, you don’t even have to say hi, “you are killing them with kindness” and that will say a lot of positive things about you. If you can do that, you are now getting a tangible hold of the principle of forgetting.

In conclusion, there is something called loving someone from a distance, the person doesn’t have to be your close friend any more, but smiling at them and being able to even like their activities on social media is an exercise that will strengthen your heart for love. Even if you are still close to that person, just be wise and avoid putting yourself into such position of getting hurt again. True happiness comes from within, be careful what you are putting in.

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Featured photo credit: Admin via bodyenlightenment.me

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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