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Step-By-Step Guide To Making Up After Any Argument

Step-By-Step Guide To Making Up After Any Argument

Arguments happen in all relationships. They help people to communicate their feelings and they can resolve problems – but only if they end well. Sometimes arguments can end badly, even when you love and care for the other person. This can be very upsetting, but it doesn’t have to be this way; check out our step-by-step guide to making up with someone after an argument.

1. Wait until you feel calm before you speak again

If you try to talk to the other person while you are still angry, you will struggle to really listen to what they are saying. You will still be focused on your feelings of upset or anger, so you are more likely to become angry. Instead, wait until both of you have calmed down so that you can openly discuss your opinions.

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2. Separate your emotions from the issue

Often emotions become entangled in the actual issue of the fight, but it is important to separate these feelings. You may feel angry and sad, but that doesn’t mean that the other person’s opinion isn’t valid. Remember that your emotions are separate to the issue, so that you can have an open and frank discussion about the argument and why it happened.

3. Wait until the right time to talk

There are right and wrong times to discuss serious subjects like arguing. Don’t bring up the issue while the other person is at work or with their family – they won’t be able to give the conversation their full attention, which could cause more troubles, so try to wait until you both have the time to talk.

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4. Begin the conversation with an apology for the argument

It is likely that you are both feeling hurt, so start with an apology to acknowledge their feelings. This gives the other person the chance to apologize also, which could resolve the argument. The conflict still needs to be addressed, but it is better to make-up first so that you both come from a place of positivity.

5. Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking

Assuming something about someone will only make an argument worse, not better. It can seem like you aren’t trying to see their side of things, and it can result in miscommunication. Give the other person an opportunity to explain themselves so that you don’t need to read between the lines.

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6. Give each other the chance to talk

Let each other speak without interruption. If you have a question you want to ask or a point you want to make, wait until the other person has finished speaking. It shows that you respect them and are trying to see their perspective – but if you interrupt them, they are more likely to interrupt you too, causing more conflict.

7. Say “I” instead of “You”

Focus on explaining your feelings, rather than attacking the other person for making you feel that way. If you attack them they are likely to feel defensive and angry, and they won’t try to see the situation from your perspective.

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For instance, saying “I feel like I struggle to speak up sometimes, and if I am interrupted during an argument I am more likely to stop talking altogether” is better than saying “You always interrupt me, it is so rude.”

8. Try to empathize with each other

The best way to make up after an argument is to acknowledge the other person’s feelings and opinions. Their opinions are just as valid as yours, and when you show that you care about their opinions they are more likely to do the same. Even if you don’t agree with their point, you can still love and respect them as a person – and that includes respecting their opinions.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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