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A Letter to My Unhappy Self: Better Days are Coming

A Letter to My Unhappy Self: Better Days are Coming

To My Unhappy Self,

Life isn’t always easy and I guess you don’t always get your way, no matter how hard you try and no matter how hard you believed in it. You really thought you had it all figured out until you realize you hadn’t. So maybe you took a left when you should have taken a right? Big deal, then! So what do you want to do now? Be miserable for a while, that’s okay. In fact, it’s probably healthier to go down this road. Bruise and hurt and question everything, and once you’re done, just get back up and rolling again.

Another day is another chance to make it right. To fix all these things you consider as utterly wrong and to make it all better and nicer.

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You are luckier than you think so never stop being grateful. You do know that you are blessed, sometimes beyond measure, and you always keep somewhere in the back of your mind that little voice that whispers how life could be way worst. But there are the dark days. You know the days when you decide to just hate everything about you, and your life, and the entire universe around you. The bad days when you think that life is nothing but miserable simply because things didn’t go as you planned them to; simply because life has played a trick on you.

But you know better. You’ve seen so much and learned so much already. You’ve loved way too hard at times and lost people you cared about way too soon. But honey, between you and me, you’ve been broken so many times that there’s no other option for you but to stand back up and keep moving forward. Sometimes you’ve clang on to things and situations and people you should have let go of but hey, you’ve learned something along the way.

So if there’s a day – and oh we know there will be – when you just feel like hating yourself and your life and the whole universe around, please just pause for a second and stay still. I hope you’ll take that time out to reminisce some good about you (not just what makes you unhappy) and the things that make your life and all you are. I hope you’ll take the chance to look beneath the layers of dirt you’ve decided to cover yourself up with. I hope you’ll see the good in you hidden down there. And as you do this, remember that you deserve kindness, love and respect and stop acting like you had to lower your standards to match up someone else’s will. I know there will be people you’ll be afraid to lose and you’ll want them to love you back but keep in mind that love cannot be forced. Remember that everything happens for a reason; the signs are here for a reason. I know sometimes it just hurts too much to face the truth and you rather look the other way for a while but that’s okay. You’re strong so I know you won’t stay sidetracked for too long and in the end, you’ll do what’s best for you.

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And though it can be real hard at times to go through life with that hole within that makes you unhappy, please don’t despair. You are loved by the right people so don’t worry and stay the way you are. Remain open to love, positive energies, and to life. Don’t try to force things too much. They will come into your life naturally and for the best outcome.

So keep working hard, never give up on what you believe in and keep trying to be your best self.

Oh and don’t forget to smile and stay positive because seriously babe, you spend way too much time looking miserable. Always let love and light in even on the darkest days. Always rise above the negative and if you ever come to doubt of your own worth or if your heart bruises too much because of something or someone, remember something good about yourself. You can’t be that bad.

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You are loveable and I’ve got a feeling you won’t stop there. Greater things and better days are coming your way so keep holding on.

And not matter what, always remember your luck and all the love you have in you.

You matter.

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xx

Featured photo credit: IM FREE via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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