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A Letter to My Unhappy Self: Better Days are Coming

A Letter to My Unhappy Self: Better Days are Coming

To My Unhappy Self,

Life isn’t always easy and I guess you don’t always get your way, no matter how hard you try and no matter how hard you believed in it. You really thought you had it all figured out until you realize you hadn’t. So maybe you took a left when you should have taken a right? Big deal, then! So what do you want to do now? Be miserable for a while, that’s okay. In fact, it’s probably healthier to go down this road. Bruise and hurt and question everything, and once you’re done, just get back up and rolling again.

Another day is another chance to make it right. To fix all these things you consider as utterly wrong and to make it all better and nicer.

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You are luckier than you think so never stop being grateful. You do know that you are blessed, sometimes beyond measure, and you always keep somewhere in the back of your mind that little voice that whispers how life could be way worst. But there are the dark days. You know the days when you decide to just hate everything about you, and your life, and the entire universe around you. The bad days when you think that life is nothing but miserable simply because things didn’t go as you planned them to; simply because life has played a trick on you.

But you know better. You’ve seen so much and learned so much already. You’ve loved way too hard at times and lost people you cared about way too soon. But honey, between you and me, you’ve been broken so many times that there’s no other option for you but to stand back up and keep moving forward. Sometimes you’ve clang on to things and situations and people you should have let go of but hey, you’ve learned something along the way.

So if there’s a day – and oh we know there will be – when you just feel like hating yourself and your life and the whole universe around, please just pause for a second and stay still. I hope you’ll take that time out to reminisce some good about you (not just what makes you unhappy) and the things that make your life and all you are. I hope you’ll take the chance to look beneath the layers of dirt you’ve decided to cover yourself up with. I hope you’ll see the good in you hidden down there. And as you do this, remember that you deserve kindness, love and respect and stop acting like you had to lower your standards to match up someone else’s will. I know there will be people you’ll be afraid to lose and you’ll want them to love you back but keep in mind that love cannot be forced. Remember that everything happens for a reason; the signs are here for a reason. I know sometimes it just hurts too much to face the truth and you rather look the other way for a while but that’s okay. You’re strong so I know you won’t stay sidetracked for too long and in the end, you’ll do what’s best for you.

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And though it can be real hard at times to go through life with that hole within that makes you unhappy, please don’t despair. You are loved by the right people so don’t worry and stay the way you are. Remain open to love, positive energies, and to life. Don’t try to force things too much. They will come into your life naturally and for the best outcome.

So keep working hard, never give up on what you believe in and keep trying to be your best self.

Oh and don’t forget to smile and stay positive because seriously babe, you spend way too much time looking miserable. Always let love and light in even on the darkest days. Always rise above the negative and if you ever come to doubt of your own worth or if your heart bruises too much because of something or someone, remember something good about yourself. You can’t be that bad.

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You are loveable and I’ve got a feeling you won’t stop there. Greater things and better days are coming your way so keep holding on.

And not matter what, always remember your luck and all the love you have in you.

You matter.

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xx

Featured photo credit: IM FREE via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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